"Atlas, this is Ice Cream-Actual. Over." Jess jokingly calls on the radio with a ridiculous, made up name. I'm gonna kill her later. "Actual" means the one in charge. It's fitting because all she fills the freezer with is ice cream.
I've just been updated on the situation. Felix is detained at a police station, the car's tires were popped from a spike strip at a checkpoint he rammed, and he was arrested while covered in grease and cheese. On top of that, despite his potentially life threatening encounter, everyone else involved is making fun of him.
I answer, "Roger, Ice Cream-Actual. I see intense popsicle melting within the AO. Heavy boot kicking inbound. Danger close. Abort. Abort!" Still, I can have some fun on the way to the police station, right?
"Roger, Atlas. That is exactly how your nerd boyfriend sounded. Read back." If she keeps that up, I'll leave the freezer open for everything to melt.
"Atlas to Ice Cream-Actual. Proceeding to smash a hole into your favorite ice cream store."
"Atlas, correction." Wolfgang joins the fun. "You are preparing to breach frozen delicacy vendor. Please verify."
He and Jess have been making jokes ever since they got Felix arrested.
I can't believe they even got Feng to join in. Felix made the mistake of annoying Feng to repeat himself repeatedly over a clear as day radio, and they've all been joking like this at Felix's expense.
Basically, Feng told Felix to do something awesome and he kept questioning it like a dope.
"Wolfgang, you are correct and kindly shut the hell up." I reply, jumping back into the jokes. I'm sorry for laughing about this, Felix. I'm a crappy girlfriend.
"Atlas, this is Ice Cream-Actual-Actual. Speak slower. He's old and can't understand you. Out." Now Feng is in on the Ice Cream stuff. What the hell is 'Actual-Actual?' How they got a hardass like Feng to join in these jokes is beyond me.
"Ice Cream-Actual-Actual, this is Ice Cream-Actual. Do you think he's mad because I was getting ice cream? I was just trying to enjoy lunch. Over."
"Ice Cream-Actual-Actual to whatever, Jess. He'll get over it. He got to drive a like movie star and smash through a police checkpoint. Plus, he's alive."
"Agreed. He'll figure it out. To get the bad-guy guns off him, you just had to point some good-guy guns at him." Wolfgang again. I always wondered how we were so lax, despite Athena's amazingly sharp and strict leadership.
"All stations, this is Ice Cream-Actual-Actual-Actual." Oh my god. Athena, not you, too.
"Get back to work and stop being fucking idiots. Do this on a channel that doesn't involve interrupting the paperwork you buried me in. Also, Atlas; Teach your boyfriend proper radio use."
After a pause, she finishes, "Read back." Which, of course, is her poking fun at my presently incarcerated boyfriend.
She expects me to 'read back' exactly what she said—more specifically, the part about Felix's apparently terrible radio management. I have a better idea.
"Roger, Ice Cream-Actual-Actual-Actual. I will get back to work and stop being a—"
"Shut up, Sergeant Atlasz. Out." And Athena clicks off.
I arrive at the police station. Poor Felix isn't going to live this down. It's not really his fault since it's technically not his job to understand this stuff, but hopefully this gets the point across to act fast and pay attention.
~~~
"I followed Feng's orders to avoid having guns pointed at me, and instead, I get a whole army of police with guns in my face." Felix says, as we're "escorted" out of the police station.
"You and Feng owe me a pizza."
"You were fine. That car was registered as a Hunter vehicle. Feng probably knew they wouldn't start shooting right away and try to arrest you instead. And I can think of other hot and steamy things to give you better than a pizza."
I feel his pulse quickening in my hands. Despite the months we've been dating, this feeling never gets old.
"Ha. And I can think of 'tastier' things to put in your mouth. Hold on, I have to update Jess. I'm also going to kill her later. Remind me, okay?"
"Ice cream-Actual to Atlas. Have you secured the 'cargo?'" Jess radios us both.
"What did she just call herself? Is she seriously going on about ice cream AGAIN?" He says as I recall the joking on the way here.
"Long story. Don't worry, I already threatened to bust down her favorite ice cream store for you. They told me what happened, and we do kinda have to work on your radio talk." Dumb questions and making Feng repeat himself are bad ideas.
I flip on the radio, "Yes, and you can cut the crap now."
"Correction, Atlas. I am proceeding to slice the shit. Anyways, Felix? How are you? PS, keep your gas tank filled next time."
"I'm fine, Heron. And yeah, as long as you stop buying ice cream when I'm in danger. What's your real question?" He asks her, getting to the point.
"I just got the plate number you texted me. I ran it and eventually got some juicy stuff. Do you have any exams next week?"
That's a weird question to ask. What is she up to?
"Nope. Though you have my attention. Is this serious?" He asks.
"Good. You are both skipping class next week for a 'romantic getaway.' Ever been to France?"
France? I should question why—and how—she's involving Felix in our Hunter affairs, but all I can think about is a private escape for ourselves. A bit of violence sounds like a great substitute for foreplay.