The musty smell of long disuse coupled with the dust particles swirling in the air. Jiro walked forward into the apartment unit. Hiroyuki quietly followed behind him.
As Jiro stood lost in his memories, Hiroyuki looked around. This was a two bedroom apartment unit. The doors to the rooms had been removed. In fact, the furniture was gone, leaving only the rough and scraped tatami mats. All the appliances in the kitchen had been taken away, leaving behind discolored wall outlines of where they once stood. The bathtub and toilet were also missing.
"It's strange," Jiro murmured at last. "It looks like my home, and yet it's not."
"That's because your home is with me now," Hiroyuki answered.
Startled, Jiro's heart was suddenly stuffed with sweetness. He had never felt this good before. Once when he was a child, while walking to the grocery store as a family, Jiro's parents, who were on either side of him, lifted him by the hand and let him swing carefreely in the air.
Back then, he felt as happy as he did right at this moment with Hiroyuki. In fact, only when he's living with Hiroyuki, did Jiro feel a sense of safety. Although they had to scrimp and save, compared to living with his mother, Jiro knew there would always be enough to eat under Hiroyuki's penny pinching ways. Jiro's mother didn't handle finances well. She used most of the money to drown herself in alcohol. And she liked to gamble by playing pachinko.
Jiro knew his mother's poor habits, but he could do nothing to stop her.
Because if not for him, his beautiful mother would have been able to find another man. But with him around, it was difficult for her to find another man. Most men preferred women with no extra baggage. And Jiro was a burdensome baggage.
Once, a year and a half after his father's death, his mother brought a man home. Previous to visiting, the man had given his mother some fancy clothes and jewelry. After he saw Jiro, he snubbed Jiro's mother. To take out her anger, Jiro's mother yelled at him for being an obstacle. Over time, Jiro began to hear it so often, he began to believe it himself.
That's why, he didn't have the self-esteem to refute her.