It was dark, I couldn't open my eyes. But even though the darkness was all around, it was warm. Trying to figure out what was going on I soon heard the constant sound of thumping. It just repeated at the same interval, just constantly, thump thump thump never ending. It was actually quite calming though. Being unable to move, or see anything I decided to just let myself get lost within the constant heart beat like thumping. Slowly listening as every beat came and went I was lulled off to sleep.
* * *
Woken up by a pressure as if something heavy was laying down upon me, the thumping sound was heard. But it wasn't the regular heart beat like rhythm as it thumped quickly and erratically and louder then before. THUMP THUMP THUMP, like a heartbeat full of fear and exertion of energy that it did not have enough of, the pressure on time also came a went at an erratic rate. Sometimes heavier then usual sometimes not there at all. Being squeezed like a stress ball was unpleasant, but I had no way to do anything about it. I still couldn't move, and my eyes would not open even now.
After what felt like forever the pressure finally stopped completely and the heartbeat like sound started to calm down and go back to the same beat I first woke up to. As it fully calmed down once again it lulled me back to sleep...
* * *
Unsure how long a time had passed since what I feel as a warm imprisonment, my ability to hear had gotten sharper and i now understood that the heart beat like sound I had been hearing was in fact a real heartbeat. It seemed I was but an infant and cleared up the reason why I couldn't open my eyes or move around, I was still within the womb of a would be mother. Also settled why I always was lulled to sleep quite quickly by the constant heartbeat, and why even though a long time had passed maybe even weeks without once needing to eat nor feel any hunger.
Sadly that also made me learn what the pressure that came and went was, it was the act of a sexually active mother even while pregnant. But whoever was her partner didn't seem to care that I may be injured in their love making. In fact it probably wasn't even done with love due to the erratic heart beat that sounded more of just being over worked then that of pleasant feelings. Im not sure why I could tell that the way my mothers heart beat wasn't normal, it always beat a constant rhythm never changing until the acts what I can only assume as baby making happened. I did not feel as if my mother ever moved or did anything other then lay there even during the acts or when nothing was going on.
Something was wrong with my mother, something that I will never know until the day i am birthed. That time is soon to come if I can already think and hear even though the only noise I hear is that steady heart beat. I don't know what I exactly feel about the situation I find myself in... with the way it is I may be in danger from the moment of my birth, I might not even be allowed to be birthed. But this is fine, I never asked to be born, if I live or die on the day of my birth, only time will tell. All I can hope for is that it won't be painful, as I drift back into sleep as the heartbeat continues as my lullaby.
* * *