'Let me keep the past memories about you so I will never be alone in my emptiness.'
Chen Sheng Lin
***
"So, why do you touch me if you're still thinking of another woman?" I asked.
"She is gone."
His red eyes become normal again. His gaze became gentle.
"Bai He Lian, I don't understand why the oath is working on you but from now on you can't think of another man for the rest of your life and this oath will remain forever."
"Wait... What do you mean?!"
"The oath is binding us forever and you have to fulfill your oath."
"I still don't understand."
"That oath means that you're under my…" He stopped.
"How can I be free from the oath?!" I asked. I don't want him controlling me like this.
"You will never be free from this oath because you offered it by yourself. Just serve me well then you will be saved. I will take care of you."
"I don't want to be related to you!"
"But now, you are my-"
"Stop it! "
"You have to remember; the oath has been carved in your soul. Only death can make you free from it." Chen Sheng Lin looks so calm, but I think he is calm because he doesn't have any emotions. He is a demon.
How stupid I was to make an oath with him, but I cannot lie that I shudder when I hear about death. I am not ready to die. I am still young.
"So why -"
"Bai He Lian, I also don't know why you can make this oath. And why is it responding to your words? Perhaps, you have an unfulfilled promise to me?"
I don't know if he is really asking me or just mocking me with his questions.
"I am so unfortunate to meet you. Stop mocking me!"
"I'm not. Just serve me well and I will make you satisfied."
Plak!
I slapped him. I don't care if he'd kill me now. That's better if he kills me now so I can free from him and this stupid oath.
I saw him so confused and shocked, but he managed to calm himself.
"Kiss me now. You have to pay this slap with your sweetest kiss so you will never slap me again for the rest of your life."
His red eyes appeared again. Then, a hot sensation like the fire, starts burning my back to torture me. His red eyes stare at me. I knew he must be doing something that makes my body betray me because now I am kissing him. His cheek is still reddish, but I am kissing that too. I hate him but what I am doing right now is kissing his cheek.
"Pay what you have done to me!" He shouted.
He caresses my cheeks. I kissed his lip again and I can feel how he started invading my mouth with his tongue. I can't protest because my body is under his control.
I will hate you, Chen Sheng Lin if you dare make me do more than these kisses.
Chen Sheng Lin stared at me with his evil smirk. Why has he given me that smirk?
"Can you hate me after all? Don't you remember that you seduce me first and now it's too late to avoid that oath because we have consummated it. Now you-"
"Stop it!" I shouted.
I was startled because I can free myself from his hypnotic spells. I saw his face become pale. He stares at me confused.
"How can you break it?!" He grabs my wrist. His cold palm makes me feel so uncomfortable. "Who are you?! Are you really Bai He Lian?" Why is he asking me the same silly questions? "Are you Xiao Er?" His gentle voice makes me soften for seconds. I think he is really obsessed with his ex and he can't accept the truth. "Xiao Er."
"How many times do I have to tell you that I am Bai He Lian. I am not Xiao Er."
I am so annoyed right now. Why is he always seeing his lover in me? I am not her and I don't want to be a substitute to her or anyone.
"Are you sure?" He asked again.
"Yes." I stared at him. As usual, he still looks like an ice prince and seems a bit confused. "Don't give me that weird question again."
His sharp eyes become red again. I don't know how many times I must see his red eyes, but I know when his eyes become red something bad will happen to me.
"Do you want to kill me?" I asked.
I don't have enough time to take my next breath when his lip takes over mine. I am shocked. My back becomes hot. It was an uneasy feeling, so I tried to push his chest and hope he would stay away from me but he was stronger than me.
Chen Sheng Lin makes me lay on the bed. His palms grabbed my wrists then started pinning them above my head. I cannot speak because he doesn't give me an opportunity to protest.
When I close my eyes. I am shocked because I can see scenes where Chen Sheng Lin used his sharp nails to rip an old woman's belly. I see Chen Sheng Lin pull something from her bleeding womb.
A baby boy...
How can an old woman give birth to a baby? Her wrinkled skin and white hair shows how time fades out the beauty of a woman. I don't know why that woman looks so familiar to me. Have I ever seen her before?
I open my eyes and I see the red fog surrounding both of us. Chen Sheng Lin stopped kissing me for a while. His gaze is full of sadness but I choose to say nothing. His red eyes are moist. Why does his expression make me sad? Why does my heart feel so heavy when I see him like this even though I know that he is a monster?
"Tell me what do you see? " He asked me.
"Nothing." I lied.
I don't want to say what I had seen while he was kissing me. I shudder when I remember that scene because it's full of blood and sadness. I don't know if that scene was real or not and I hope that I can forget about it.
"Tell me if you have seen something!"
Chen Sheng Lin looks so emotional and I don't know what I'm supposed to do since he is still pinning my wrist and the red fog gradually changes into black colour -so does with his eyes colour. Now, it seems I met a death angel. His eyes look so empty. Why do I feel so guilty?
"I- I didn't see anything." I lied.
"What?"
"I didn't see anything!" I am so scared right now. Can he just leave me alone? Can I get my freedom back?
Chen Sheng Lin takes a deep breath. His black eyes look so scary than his red eyes and I don't have any idea what's to happen now.
"Bai He Lian, listen. From now on, if you want to live longer you cannot fall in love with another man. If you want to go just go. I don't want to see you anymore. Just go wherever you want."
After saying those words, he released my wrist and left me alone in this room. Then I realize something: that Chen Sheng Lin is so broken right now. I don't know why the guilt fills my heart since I lied. It is like it is killing me and takes away the oxygen from my lungs.
"Chen Sheng Lin." I called him, but he disappeared in black fog. I am scared and felt uneasy from something weird happening to my heart.
I know Chen Sheng Lin is a demon and he is so scary. He always delivers a creepy atmosphere but when he leaves, I don't know why but I suddenly feel the emptiness. I feel the guilt is filling my heart and making me so uncomfortable.
What is happening to me? What has he done to me? I never felt like this way before. This feeling is so uncomfortable.
Someone, please help me.