I have no idea what I'm doing here, but I can not stop it. As my lips touch Hardin's, I feel him gasp. It tastes exactly as I had imagined. I taste the hint of mint on his tongue as he opens his lips and kisses me. Correct kisses. His warm tongue brushes gently over mine, and at the corner of my mouth I feel the cold metal of his lip piercing. It feels like my whole body has caught fire, never before have I felt that way. Hardin strokes my face, covering my heated cheeks before his hands wring my hips. He breaks away from me briefly and presses me a small kiss on the mouth.
"Tess," he whispers, before he kisses me right again and pushes his tongue between my lips. My mind has nothing more to say, because every inch of my body is just feeling. Hardin pulls me closer to his hips as he sinks back onto the bed without interrupting our kiss. I'm not sure what to do with my hands and put them on his chest before climbing on top of him. His skin is hot, and his chest rises and falls with his quick breaths.
As he releases himself from my mouth, I whistle with disappointment, but before I can complain, he wanders further to my neck. I clearly feel every movement of his tongue. His breath sweeps over my skin. He buries his fingers in my hair to hold my head while he continues to kiss my neck. As his teeth brush against my collarbone, I groan, and as he begins to gently suck on my skin, the feeling shoots through my whole body.
If I was not intoxicated by Hardin and the alcohol, I would be embarrassed. Never have I kissed someone like that, not even Noah. 'Noah!' "Hardin ... stop," I say, but I do not recognise my own voice again. She is deep and hoarse, and my mouth is completely dry. He continues. "Hardin!", I repeat clearly and sharply this time. He lets go of my hair. When I look him in the eye, they are somehow darker, but also softer and his lips reddened and slightly swollen from kissing.
"We can not do that," I say. Although I would love to kiss him, I know that it can not be done. The gentleness disappears from his gaze, and as he sits up abruptly, he literally pushes me to the other side of the bed. 'What happened just now?'
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I can not think of anything else. It feels like my heart could burst at any moment. "What, are you sorry?", He wants to know, as he walks over to the dresser, pulls out a black T-shirt and pulls over his head. My gaze wanders down to his boxer shorts, which have become much tighter at the front.
I blush and turn my eyes away. "That I kissed you ...", I say, although something inside of me really does not want to apologize for that. "I do not know why I did that." "It was just a kiss, people keep smacking around with somebody," I hear him say. For some reason, his words hurt me. Not that I care if he did not feel the same as me ... 'What did I feel?' I know that I do not really like him. I'm just drunk and he's pretty attractive.
It was a long evening, and the alcohol made me kiss him. Somewhere in the back I fight against the idea that I would like to do it again. He was so nice to me earlier, right? "Can not we make a big deal out of it?" I ask. How embarrassing if he told someone about it. I am not. I do not drink, and I do not cheat on my friend either.
"Believe me, I certainly do not want anyone to know about it, and now stop talking about it," he snaps. There it is again, his arrogance. "Aha, I see you're the same old man again." "I've never been anyone else, just do not think that just because you kissed me practically against my will, we have some kind of connection now." Ouch.
'Against his will?' I can still feel him grabbing my hair, pulling me up and muttering 'Tess' before kissing me again. As if bitten, I jump off the bed. "You could have stopped me."
"Hardly," he mocks, and I could cry again. Why am I becoming so emotional with him? But he's just so humbling and painful to have to hear from him, I'm forced to kiss him. For a moment I hide my face in my hands, before I make my way to the door. "You can stay here tonight, you do not know where to go," he says quietly, but I shake my head. I do not want to be near him. That's all part of his little game.
He'll offer to stay with him so that I think he's a decent person, and then probably paint some obscene pictures on my forehead in my sleep. "No thanks." I leave the room. When I reach the stairs, I think I hear him calling my name, but I just keep going. The fresh air outside feels wonderful on my heated skin.
I sat down on my wall and turned the phone back on. It is almost four o'clock in the morning. Actually, I should get up in an hour to start learning after a morning shower. Instead, I'm sitting alone in the dark on the half-ruined pile of stones.
A few people are still on the road, and since I'm unsure what else to do, I scroll through the messages from Noah and my mother. Of course he told her about that. That's just how he is ... But I can not be angry with him about it. I just cheated on him. How would I have the right to do that?