One block from the compound house, the streets are dark and quiet. The houses of the other fraternities are not as big as those of Hardins. After a hike of one and a half hours and thanks to the GPS function of my mobile phone, I finally reach the campus. Now that I am completely sober again, I decide that I can just as well stay awake, and get me a coffee at the coffee shop on the corner. As the caffeine unfolds, I realise that I can not see many things about Hardin: why is he in contact with this bunch of rich Preppis when he's actually a punk, and how can he switch between hot and fast cold switch back and forth? All completely theoretical considerations.
I do not even know if I even waste any thoughts on him, and last night, I'm sure I'll make no effort to be friendly with him. I can not believe that I kissed him. That was really the biggest mistake I could make, and as soon as I opened up, he went to the attack, more violent than usual.
I'm not stupid enough to trust that he will not tell anyone about it, but I hope he's so embarrassed to have kissed the "maiden" that he keeps his mouth shut. If anyone ever asks me, I'll deny everything. For my mother and Noah, however, I have to come up with a good explanation for my behaviour. Not because of the kiss - they'll never know that - but that I was at the party. Again. Nevertheless, I should also talk to Noah about my mother. I'm an adult now, and she does not need to know everything I do. When I finally reach my dorm, my legs and feet hurt, and as I open the door, I sigh in relief.
To almost get a heart attack: Hardin is sitting on my bed. "You can not be serious!", I almost shout when I finally regained my composure. "Where were you?" He asks unimpressed. "I drove around for almost two hours looking for you." 'I beg your pardon?' "What why?" In the sense of: Why, did not he simply offer to drive me home if he wanted anyway? And more importantly, why did not I just ask him after I found out that he had not drunk anything? "I just do not think it's a good idea to run outside alone at night." And because I can not interpret his expression, because Steph is always hanging around and I am here alone with him, the man who represents the greatest danger for me, I can only laugh. It's a wild laugh that somehow does not look like me at all.
And it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that I find this situation funny here, but because I am simply overflowing for everything else. Hardin looks at me with a frown, and I have to laugh even more: "Get out of here, Hardin - just leave!" He looks at me and runs his hand through his hair. At least something. In the short time that I now know this frustrating guy, Hardin Scott, I've learned that he always does that when he's stressed out or uncomfortable. At this moment I hope that both are the case.
"Theresa, I ...", he starts, but is interrupted by violent rumble at the door, followed by: "Theresa! Theresa Young, you open this door now!" My mother. This is my mother. At six o'clock in the morning, and a man is in my room. As always, when she's angry, I'll be active immediately. "Oh God, Hardin, hide in the closet!" I whisper, hissing him by the arm and yanking him off the bed. We are both surprised by my strength. Amused, he looks down at me. "I certainly will not hide in the closet, you're about eighteen." I know he's right - but he does not know my mother. I moan in annoyance as she bangs against the door again.
Hardin's defiant arms crossed his arms, signalling that he will not budge, so I take a quick look in the mirror, wipe my dark circles and smear some toothpaste on my tongue to cover the vodka scabbard even though I just drank coffee. Maybe the three fragrances confuse her nose or something.
With a friendly face and a greeting on the lips, I open the door. To discover that my mother did not come alone. Next to her is Noah. Naturally. She is furious. And he ... worried? Injured? "Hello, what are you two doing here?" I greet them, but my mother rushes past me and heads straight for Hardin. Noah pushes himself silently into the room, but leaves her in the lead. "So that's why you're not going to get your cell phone, because you've got six visitors from this ... this ..." She makes a gesture in Hardin's direction.
"Tattooed Querulanten!" I notice how my blood starts to boil. Normally I am reserved and rather anxious about my mother. She has never beaten me, but she does not hesitate to point out my weaknesses again and again. 'You do not want to wear that, do you, Tessa? You should have brushed your hair again. Tessa, I think you could have done better in these tests' It's putting me under pressure to be perfect all the time, it's really exhausting. Noah wielder just stands there glaring at Hardin. I would like to shout at both of them - actually all three.
My mother, because she treated me like a child. Noah, because he'll tell me. And Hardin just for being Hardin. "Is that what you're doing here in college, young lady? Celebrating the nights and taking men to the room? Poor Noah was so sick with worry about you. And then we drive the long way here and have to watch. how you get on with these strangers, "she pokes. Noah and I both gasp.
"Actually, I just came here and she did not do anything wrong", Hardin defends me, which totally shocks me.
He has no idea what he's getting into. On the other hand: I do not move a millimetre, and it can not be stopped. That could be an interesting duel. I would like to grab a bag of popcorn and watch the whole thing from the front row. The face of my mother gets really angry. I'm sure I did not talk to you, I do not know what to do with someone like you near my daughter. " Hardin silently lets the attack go by and continues to watch her. "Mother," I bump between clenched teeth. Why I defend Hardin, I do not quite understand myself.
Maybe it's because their tone reminds me too much of how I treated Hardin on our first encounter. Noah's gaze wanders back and forth between Hardin and me. Does he somehow feel that I kissed Hardin? The memory of it is so fresh that the mere thought of it causes a tingling sensation on my skin. "Tess, you are completely beside the track, I can smell the schnapps from here, that's guaranteed the bad influence of your great roommate and him here." She underlines her words with a reproachful finger.
"Mother, I'm eighteen, I've never drank, and I have not done anything wrong, I'm only doing what all other college students do, sorry I had a dead battery and you've come all the way here , but I am fine." Suddenly I'm so exhausted from the past hours that after my little speech I just let myself fall on the desk chair.
My mother sighs.
My obvious resignation also makes her calmer somehow, she's not a monster. Turning to Hardin, she says, "Young man, could you leave us alone for a minute?" Hardin looks at me as if to make sure I can handle it. When I nod, he nods back and leaves the room. Noah closes the door behind him, not losing sight of Hardin. It's a strange feeling: Hardin and me together against my mother and boyfriend. Somehow I feel that he will wait outside my door until they are gone.
Over the next twenty minutes, my mother gives me a lecture from the edge of the bed that she's worried that I'm going to ruin this chance of getting an excellent education and that I'm not supposed to drink any more alcohol. Besides, she does not like my acquaintance with Steph, Hardin, or anyone else in their environment. I have to promise her that I will not deal with them anymore, and I agree. After tonight I do not want to see Hardin any more, and I will not go to any parties with Steph anymore, so my mother will not know how well I get on with her or not.
Finally she gets up and claps her hands. "While we're there, we could have breakfast together and maybe go shopping a bit later." I nod in agreement as Noah smiles from his place on the door frame. First, it sounds like a reasonable idea, and second, I'm starving. Although my thoughts are a little clouded by alcohol and fatigue, but the walk home, the coffee and my mother's drummer have outgrown me. I'm already on my way to the door when my mother coughs meaningly.
"But before that, you should make yourself a little better and move." Her condescending smile is familiar to me. So I get me some clean clothes from the dresser, pull me behind the large closet door and freshen up my makeup. When I'm done, Noah stops us the door. Our eyes are on Hardin sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. When he looks up, Noah reaches for my hand protectively and possessively. I would like to remove it from him. 'What's wrong with me ?!'
"We're going to town," I explain Hardin. In response, he nods once more, as if he had given himself the answer to more deeply hidden in him questions. And for the first time, he seems vulnerable, maybe even hurt. 'He has humbled you', calls to me my inner voice! Somehow I still have a guilty conscience when Noah passes me by Hardin while my mother smiles at him triumphantly until he averts his gaze. "I can not stand this guy," says Noah; and I nod. "Me neither," I whisper.
But I know it's a lie.