Tara
I was early to my History class and I sat just beside the window. I just couldn't understand. Why did Cole told me to stay away from Christopher? I wasn't even talking to him.
...Flashback..
I was in Literature class and I sat in front of the teacher's table(because I LOVE Literature). I took out 'Wuthering Heights' and started reading in class. After reading two chapters, I kept the book down, and our teacher, Mrs Lewis , entered the class. After taking down our attendance, when she was about to teach, the door slammed open and six people(two guys and four girls) were standing at the entrance.
"Why hello, Simon,Christopher,Alicia,Hazel,Julia and Nicole..."Mrs Lewis called their names according to their standing positions and started yelling at them. I didn't know what she was nagging at them because my whole attention was on Christopher. His dark brown eyes were attracting me like magnets. Those beautiful eyes just made me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because Ma's eye colour was identical to his and sad because it reminded me that my family wasn't with me. The girl who tugged at his arm was most probably his girlfriend and the only word that popped in my head was 'PLASTIC!'. The only girl who looked the most vulnerable to me was Julia. Then, there was Simon. He was... okay,I guess? All I saw after that was they rolled their eyes and they went to sit at the back.
Mrs Lewis made us choose a Shakespeare novel to read and write an essay about our favourite character. Almost like Elaine's assignment for Luke. I could say everyone kind of brought the same novel-'Romeo and Juliet'. I had 'Hamlet' and turned around to see if anyone else had different books. Christopher was reading 'Richard III'. I never thought he would read that and Alicia was reading....'50 Shades of Grey'?! What the heck? Is she crazy? She tried getting Christopher's attention to read the book with her but his concentration on his book was so intense that he didn't seem to notice her tapping on his shoulder or anything else. And finally, Alicia just gave up and continued her fantasies. I gave a small laugh and read my book.
"Why are you laughing, Ms Sullivan? I don't think there's anything funny in 'Hamlet'." Mrs Lewis asked me with a stern look. All eyes were on me. Can I just disappear in thin air now?
"Umm..a..actually,...." I was stuttering like an idiot. What was I supposed to say?
"Never mind. I guess you have read this already. So, why don't you talk about 'Hamlet' in front of the whole class? You don't have to do my homework if you do this task. Are you ready?
No homework?! Are you kidding? I am ready to do this. But I felt anxious. I have never spoke in front of anyone, except for Ma, Pa and Leilani. But I needed to face this anxiety. I took my necklace out and held my locket in my hand. I walked to the front of my class and took a deep breath.
"Good morning everyone. This is my first time speaking in front of a class, so if I make any mistakes here, I apologise." I could hear my heart thumping heavily. I held on to my locket even tightly and stared into Christopher's eyes for five seconds. I needed to feel as if Ma, Pa and Leilani were here. And it would only work if I looked into Christopher's eyes. He had a look of confusion in his eyes but I had to ignore that and continue.
"We read novels and we find out many characters in them. The protagonist, antagonist, supporting roles and others. I am supposed to talk about my favourite character and it is Hamlet. Why did I choose him?Hamlet is self-deprecatory when he begins to vacillate over the Ghost's 'dread command'. He knows that as a loyal and noble son that revered his father, it is his filial duty to fulfil his father's command. However, Hamlet finds this task morally repugnant and he recoils from it wishing that he had never been born to execute such a task. He is also consumed by self-deprecation. This self-deprecation and feeling of inadequacy in compounded by his sense of guilt when he compares himself to decisive revengers like Fortinbras and Laertes who are not inhibited by any such moral scruples as Hamlet is. While self-deprecation and self-pity are generally viewed as negative human attributes, in Hamlet, I feel they depict the enormity of suffering. Hamlet clearly revered his father'a combination and form indeed where every god did seem to set his seal to give the world the assurance of a man'. Hamlet's self-pity and self-deprecation is to be understood in terms of a young man who feels in terms of a young man who feels that he is letting his beloved father down."
"I see that you are an avid reader. Just tell us why do you read?" Mrs Lewis stopped me from speaking and asked.
"I started reading as a child. No one forced me into it. I just took a book up and read. Sometimes, I read to calm down and spend my time beneficially. I also read to be closer to my family.On Wednesday nights, Ma, Pa, Leilani and I would just sit and read together for hours. I.....". All of a sudden, I couldn't speak. Thinking of my family reminded me that Joseph Lee took that all away from me. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to say. But no words crossed my mind, just tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Tara, are you okay?" Mrs Lewis asked with concern in her eyes and voice. Everyone in class looked really confused. I needed to get out of here.
"I..I'm so...sorry. I need t..to g..get out." I grabbed my stuff and stormed off from my class. I ran to the washroom and locked myself in one of the cubicles and cried. I couldn't hold on to this pain anymore. But I had to move on. And I am still stuck about what happened. That incident left a scar in my heart.