"Xiao Wei, wake up..."
His voice called out her name and her eyes fluttered open. The darkness which previously consumed her disappeared.
Khan Bojing hurriedly held onto her hand, "Xiao Wei."
Li Wei blinked slowly, trying to access the situation.
"Xiao Wei, it's my fault... I shouldn't have said those things to you since you're pregnant..." Khan Bojing sat beside her, his sad eyes silently pleaded for her forgiveness.
Li Wei only stared at him in silence. If he was hard to see through before, it was even harder now. She couldn't tell what he was feeling.
Khan Bojing brought over a bowl of congee. He scooped a spoonful, blew lightly on it, and gave it to her. "Here, eat so you'll feel better."
Li Wei pushed the spoon away, spilling the food, and threw the bowl onto the ground. She had done him so wrong, why was he still caring for her?
She couldn't take it anymore. His kindness was overwhelming. She needed to destroy him completely so he would stop being good to her. Her hands desperately felt around the bed until a tiny deep purple bottle fell onto her lap.
"If you really want to take away a life, it's common courtesy to do it well." Khan Bojing's didn't look at her as he spoke. The warmth in him vanished. He seemed to have thought it through while she was passed out. This was his decision. "This is stronger. There is no time for second thoughts and no chance of turning back. Quick and effective."
"What are you doing?" She studied the jar in disbelief. Something had changed within him in just the last couple hours. Previously, he blackmailed her, yet he was now offering a helping hand?
"Giving you a choice. I'm allowing you to choose." He closed his eyes momentarily before opening them again. "You are the child's mother. Whether or not the child lives to see the world lies in your hands."
He was giving all the power to her. Whatever she chose, he would accept. Even if it meant he could be stabbed in the back by her. He was within her arm's reach, but his expression held a distant look as if she could never reach him. Li Wei didn't know how to respond to him.
"If you drink it, you'll be free. I can promise you'll never see me again. I'll pretend I never knew you. Whatever you do with your life is no longer my concern." He paused slightly before continuing, "If you don't drink it, it's not too late. You will still have me by your side regardless of what happens, but this means you can't change your mind. I won't leave you ever, we'll grow old together."
Regardless of where he stood, he spoke without bias and equally presenting both choices to her. He didn't want to influence her with his decision. Khan Bojing was a man of his words. Whatever vows he made, she knew he would follow through. It's just... she needed to make a decision for herself.
Li Wei looked down at her stomach that hadn't show yet. A life was growing inside... She looked at the bottle in her hand. A life changing decision...
To destroy two innocent souls for the sake of herself, could she really do it?
In the end, she flung the bottle across the room and it broke into hundreds of small pieces. Since she couldn't take a life, she'd have to face the consequences. She was afraid she couldn't bear by herself. She couldn't say it to him, but she was scared. Fear gnawed at her from the inside.
"Come here." Khan Bojing took her into his embrace which felt warm as before regardless what she's done. He brushed her hair back from her face so it wouldn't get wet. He didn't say a word, he didn't complain as she cried herself out. Only his fingers moved, wiping the tears off her face.
Li Wei hated him, hated how good he was. Every thought, every plan she tried before were all caught by him. She hated him, she hated how she couldn't win against him. When she couldn't fathom what was going on in his mind, he already predicted her next move.
Somehow, he knew she wouldn't be able to do it. He placed the child and himself on the line, forcing her to turn around. She hit his back to let out her anger. She didn't want to marry him. It wasn't a possibility to spend the rest of her life with someone she hated, but he left her with no other choice either. So hateful!
He remained still and took the weak blows willingly. When Li Wei glanced at her hand, she was taken by surprise by a dark red color. Her hand was covered in blood. "Y-Yebai, you're bleeding."
"Am I? Ah, you must've opened up the wounds." Khan Bojing spoke casually as if it was nothing.
The red on her hand made her tremble. He was wounded, but allowed her to hit him. The fool he became was slowly making her go nuts. Nothing about him made sense anymore. Li Wei hurriedly disrobed him.
Khan Bojing let her do as she pleased. Once his top was off, she forcibly turned him around so his back faced her.
"Ahh! So much blood!" She screamed as soon as the sight of his back met her. She couldn't count how many slashes there were. The marks of an unforgiving whip were left all over. It seemed he hadn't taken proper care of his wounds and she accidentally opened them up again. She wasn't sure when or how he was whipped, but it wasn't enough time for the wounds to heal.
"Xiao Wei, are you afraid of blood?" He pulled out something from his bag. This time, it was a short and round white container. Khan Bojing pushed the medicine into her hand. "Xiao Wei, I'm at your mercy. Please take good care of me." He gave her an playful grin before he turned back around.
While she helped him, his voice filled the silent room. It was not his upbeat voice, but instead, it was a low and incredulous voice. "It was my father. I disobeyed him. All my life I was by him to be used at his disposal. This time I went to Hai'an and asked for one wish. He... he didn't like what I asked for."
His words caused her fingers to stop moving. A punishment by his father...
He didn't say more and she didn't push further. Once his wounds were cleaned and applied with a new layer of medicine, Li Wei pushed him out the door. "Leave now, it's almost morning."
"Alright, alright. I'll go now." He waved to her as he disappeared around the corridor.
Finally, she could rest. This was the last thought running through her mind as she fell asleep. Once the candles have melted away late in the night, Li Wei awoke and laid still listening to her heartbeat.
A pair of arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her away from the coldness of the early morning. "You're awake?"
She jumped off the bed screaming. "Ahh! What are you still doing here for?"
"Shhh." His eyes were still closed, but he smiled and shamelessly said, "Don't be too loud, my wife. Others will think wrong."
"W-Who's your wife?" Li Wei threw her pillow against his body.
He took the soft blow that didn't even worth to a scratch on his skin. "You, of course. Who else?"
"When did I agree?!"
"You want to know?"
"No, I just remembered. Li Wei ah Li Wei, you're really losing out here."
He pulled most of the blanket for himself. "En, you definitely didn't think this one through. It's okay, we lose some and we gain some. At least you have someone like me, good at everything. Especially..."
"I can't deal with you anymore. Hot and then cold and then hot. Weak and then suddenly shameless." Li Wei cut him off and laid back on the bed. She made sure to take back her blanket and covered her whole body.
Khan Bojing's unruly arms pulled her body towards him until their bodies were touching. She tried to get out of his hold, but he only held on stubbornly. "Be good for a bit. We still have one task to finish before sleeping."
Li Wei suspiciously eyed him. "And what's that?"
"Xiao Wei..." His voice tenderly called out her name with endearment. He naughtily stole a kiss from her neck as he took in her scent. Then, he positioned himself so his cheeks rested on her neck and he held her tightly against his chest.
"Yebai, I can't go to sleep if you keep touching me." She squirmed in his arms, but his hold didn't loosen, so she tried another tactic. "One more thing to accomplish, remember?"
"En." His hand drew circles on her stomach, gently and with affection. When he spoke, he whispered like he was telling her a secret. "Xiao Wei, we have to choose a name for our Little Bun."
"Little Bun?" Li Wei was so bewildered, she turned to face him. She questioned herself if he was playing, but his face was as serious as ever.
Khan Bojing nodded proudly, laughing to himself as he spoke. "Xiao Wei, it's because you love buns. Pork buns, vegetable buns, taro buns, bean buns, all types of buns. A smaller bun inside a bigger bun, a little bun."
Listening to his explanation made her pout her lips in protest. She had no idea her love for buns unknowingly made her become a mommy bun in his eyes. He made her sound like such a glutton. Before she could refute back, he stopped teasing right away. His hand moved from her stomach to her chin, lightly touching it.
Since he came back, he had been strangely romantic as if he had learned how to sweet talk while he was gone. He clearly knew when to stop pestering her. The cunning and relenting him was nowhere in sight. She hesitantly poked his cheek. "Yebai?"
His gaze welcomed her touch. "Hmm?"
"What's wrong with you? You're not the same as before."
"Xiao Wei, it's nothing." He placed her against his cheek. Just having her skin against his skin felt as if she was caressing him and that was enough to make him happy. "What name should we give our child?"
She sighed internally. He looked so contented she couldn't bear to pull her hand back. In the end, she didn't respond, but she didn't pull back either. "I... You can choose."
"En. As I was travelling back, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted to wait to talk to you before I made a decision. Xiao Wei, this is what I think. If we have a son, I want us to name him Bohai. Khan Bohai. If we have a daughter..."
Li Wei couldn't remember what he said next. She tried to pay attention, but her heavy eyelids fell on their own. Before she knew it, she was deep asleep. Khan Bojing placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, trying to treasure how it felt to be by her side. Then, he snuggled next to her and closed his eyes.