The three of us at the table were silent. The silence was not for a moment.
No
Maybe it was eons long.
No.
Maybe an era passed before I came to my senses. Everything seemed black to me. The future didn't matter suddenly. I was not crying, but I wanted to. I was not calm, but I tried my best.
Somehow, I knew that the reason why Brad was Brad and not Blessing is Madonna. All I was hoping for was a little issue, any little mistake on Brad/Blessing's part so as I can stand next to Madonna.
How can a human being be so despicable to someone that they force another to change their entire being?
What I was feeling was rage, towards Mad. Pity, for Brad. And misery, for myself.
All of us were silent at the table. Brad was looking at me with a stern gaze, whereas Amaan sat down quietly chowing down her breakfast.
"I-I-I'm re-real-really sorry," I wanted to apologize to Brad, even before I had heard her complete story.
He raised his finger and pointed in my face exclaiming, "Don't you dare to apologize to me. I am who I am. But you had nothing to do with it. All I ever wanted from my remaining life was to never see her again. But she came back, because being selfish is her charm. Coming back to me because what she took from me wasn't enough already."
I was terrified to support Madonna. Thus, I did what was right.
I stayed quiet.
Brad went back to having her breakfast while I stayed static in complete shock. I felt Amaan's hands running over my shoulder. I turned around and she signaled me towards my plate. I thought she was telling me to get some energy, because I would need it later in the day.
With great difficulty, I peeled my eyes away from Brad and stuck them to my plate. But not a single morsel of food touched my lips. I took my plate and ran away from the table. I wanted Madonna to hold me. I wanted her to tell me that I was wrong and Brad was wrong. That it was nobody's fault and Brad had complete freedom for switching genders.
I saw Madonna walking in my direction but stopped in her path when she saw me dashing with a plate in my hand.
"Kyo, what are you doing here-?"
I didn't bother to put the plate down. I just wanted to steal Madonna away from those people. I didn't want to risk another abandonment. So I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear to take me away. She asked me repeatedly what was happening, but I couldn't answer. It felt like the walls on this huge mansion were closing on us. We truly were in an anthill.
Madonna agreed that a breath of fresh air would be suitable for me, and thus, we exited the black building. Madonna instructed one of the workers to tell Amaan what was going on and that we'd be back in couple of hours.
After a little bit of walking I saw the hotel room we were renting for our stay. Surrounded in that black box, the blue sky and parched walls of the hotel room was exhilarating. Just entering the small little room with rectangular bed and floral sheets lifted my stress. The afterthought was present, but it was not tense, as the feeling of being in private felt precious.
I closed my eyes and whiffed all the damp air into my lungs to get rid of all the negativity. I was in the moment, and that was one of the most wonderful moment.
I opened my eyes and saw Madonna undressing in the bedroom. I walked towards her and she stopped moving her hands.
"Babe, do you want to do it?" Madonna asked.
"Wha- No. what are you even doing? Its cold outside."
Madonna walked to me in her exposed red bra and maroon shorts and placed my hands on her waist. Touching my wife after such a long time was titillating.
"Kyo, I have not been a perfect partner. I know that I have a job to do. But I can't leave you stranded alone. What I'm doing is for us, yes. But I should understand that not taking your well-being in account would equally hurt. I know that I have been more and more roped into this web of past. But right now, its just you and me. Let me repay you for what you have lost in the recent past. Let me love you for every second you trusted me and stuck by me."
I couldn't resist her shivering body, so I filled my arms with her. I pushed her inside the bedroom and locked the door.
An embrace is a cure for the soul. And when I had my wife breathing down my neck while I wrapped myself around her semi-naked body, my heart was filled with delight.
I would never be able to duplicate this feeling. It was the most precious thing in the moment.
We slipped under our blanket and stared at each other to our heart's extent. The distance between us was diminishing. The passion bubbling under our skin was that of a newly married couple. All of our issues were evaporating over our heavy breathing.
*PING*
Madonna's cellphone received a message, but we coudn't care less. She put her hands on my buttocks and slid her fingers under my panties. My aroused body agreed to her touches before my mind could register.
*PING* *PING*
We forced to ignore two more notifications from Madonna's phone. As she continued to caress my back, I went ahead and unclasped her bra to expose her fair breasts in my face. Like a hungry child, I put my lips and engulfed her nipple, while running my hands all over her body.
The pleasure was euphoric. Staying away from sex for so long had made us saturated with desires. The amatory exploits of her fingers and my tongue did wonders for our respective bodies. It felt like we were floating in the air, while our moans propelled us away from sanity.
A place where I could be sexually content forever, is a place I'd always go with Mad.
*PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING* *PING*
Following a barrage of text messages, both of our cellphones chimed like alarm clocks. Somebody was calling us simultaneously. Worse yet, it completely broke the rhythm we had with each other. My tongue working on Mad's breasts became 'me licking a small brown protrusion on a human chest', whereas Mad's fingers caressing my vagina became her 'poking me with pencils.'
It suddenly became asexual, and we couldn't wait to separate our bodies from each other. All of this to blame the million phone calls and messages we received while we were nearing our climax.
I stood up and plucked both of our cellphones to find the one who didn't let us come was none other than Priscilla.
I redialed her number and dryly slapped her with 'WHAT?!'
She, as calm as a rapper on a revenge streak, said, "Get dressed. You're not on a honeymoon. Brad wants to have a talk. Get something to eat on your way."
"Wait, how did you- " Before she could explain herself, the line went quiet.
I told everything to Mad while she had a dejected look on her face. I shrugged the unpleasant feeling off of me and started dressing up. So did Mad. When we assured each other that we were ready to present ourselves, we exited the hotel room.
After a little walk on the familiar yet undesired path, we entered the 'Ant Hill' once more. Amaan's cook told us to head towards the main bedroom. We started walking towards the room. I was curious if Mad could backtrack her path to the room. Unpleasantly, I was correct.
The room's door was open, and we could hear the loud obnoxious Priscilla making her demands fifty yards away.
"We're not having a slumber party. Lets go back to the table," She was saying.
We reached the front door and saw Priscilla marching up and down the room while Amaan sat quietly on one corner of the bed. Brad was sitting on a chair with his head down. When everybody saw up and noticed us, they ignored us. Amaan gave me a second look and pointed to the opposite side of her. We slowly made our way to the edge of the bed and sat down. I could sense the hostility in the air, and I could understand why us having sex in the middle of emotional turmoil could be questionable.
But my body was still restless.
Priscilla marching all over the place was making me nervoud. But it also filled me with fury.
I saw her walking towards me, and I hoped she didn't talk to me, or even imply anything that involved me.
But it didn't happen.
She stood next to me, lowered her face in my ear and whispered, "How was the sex, Chink?"
I felt my mind blanking. I felt my vision blurring. I felt the white all over my sanity turning red, and like an involuntary muscle movement, I screamed in Priscilla's face.
"DO NOT COME NEAR TO ME, YOU INSOLENT BITCH!!!"
My voice echoed through the room. everything was silent once again. My ears were ringing by my own scream. I didn't know I had ability to reach such sonic levels, much less I'd use it against P.A.
But I couldn't stop there. I put my hand on her shoulder and pushed her away from me. I saw her looking at me with her wide eyes. But what she saw on my face made her co-operative real quick.
I stood up and went directly in Priscilla's face and continued to scream, "YOU THINK YOU'RE SMART, HUH? LET ME TELL YOU WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE! YOU ARE ONE INSECURE HUMAN BEING WHO CAN'T LET GO OF HER PAST BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE-NOT A SINGLE HUMAN WHO CARES ABOUT YOU IN THIS WORLD. THE CRACKHEAD FATHER IS PROBABLY DEAD, AND YOUR LIFE FORCE WAS MADONNA'S ATTENTION. NOT YOU TRY TO CONVERT IT INTO HATRED AND MALICE BECASE YOU DON'T HAVE A LICK OF COURAGE IN YOUR HOLLOW BODY. LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING, YOU NASTY LITTLE HUMAN, MADONNA IS MY WOMAN NOW! DON'T EVER LET THAT FACT DILUTE YOUR COMMON SENSE AGAIN!"
My head was hurting. My emotions were spilling. But I was done playing nice with her. she had tried to mess with my life one too many times.
Madonna pulled me away from her and forcibly made me sit back in my seat. All I could feel was my rage boiling my skin inside out. All I could see was Priscilla's shocked and trembling body being supported by the wall behind her.
Across the room, Amaan spilled a glass full of water in my face to force me into myself again. My hot head cooled off by the help of water. I came back to my senses, realizing what I had done.
Luckily, it didn't make me feel guilty about anything.
I smiled by myself to reflect my refreshed mind. I turned around to see Mad, so that I could see her reciprocate my feelings. But seeing her on the floor embracing a terrified Priscilla made my heart ache a little bit.
I looked back at Amaan and Brad, who were sitting there with no emotions on their faces.
The walls were closing in again.
A little air would do the trick, right?
I turned to Brad and said, "Surely your story can wait," before bolting out of the room.
All I needed was fresh air.
I wasn't feeling anything else.
Nothing at all.
The chilly air offset my body temperature. The ting I felt at the end of my spine must have been pain. i supported my body against the railing that run at the edge of Ant Hill's roof. The black walls and grey concrete floor sucked the cold near it and projected it at anyone standing above. Not wearing socks and running off into the painfully cold morning bare feet was a stupid decision on my part.
My body was trembling. My breath condensed into a cloud every time I opened my mouth to breath. It was getting harder and harder to breath. I could never get used to it anyway.
I closed my eyes and questioned myself. What was I thinking when I screamed at her?! and when did I turn so soft that words started hurting me?
I was a tough chicken. One of the best ex-prostitutes in this area of Nepal. I was the one who was requested the most. I was the one who was exposed to all kinds of kinks and fetishes. I was choked, spat on, slapped, abused, groped by many, got my hair pulled, had various stuff put into me, and I survived all of that. I had earned my present. And now I had myself a wife. It was all for our sake.
But I was getting weaker by verbal abuse. And that was pathetic.
Was I even a human being anymore?
I heard the door swinging behind me. Somebody had stepped onto the roof and I was in their presence. I played a guessing game as to who it would be.
Madonna was an obvious guess. But I could use her absence right now. The way she dashed at Priscilla when she started crying was infuriating to say the least. Who else then?
Amaan perhaps? But she is cautious enough to show emotions in Madonna's presence.
Brad? He doesn't have a reason to fetch me. Furthermore, his stoic side suited him more.
I guess it was Mad, then.
I turned around and opened my eyes to a timid Priscilla standing behind me. It was a surprise. I stood there with my mouth closed and saw her fidgeting while she took steps in my direction.
It was a good time to apologize to her, and so I proceeded to speak, "Hey, listen. I'm really sorry for what I said."
Priscilla looked up in my eyes and stole her gaze the moment a moment later. She tried to speak numerous times, but words didn't want to escape from her mouth. Her body was trembling. The cold was no one's ally. But I thought I'd be one.
"You know, I'm a really bad person myself. And when discipline with words don't work, slapping some sense into people doesn't hurt. Priscilla, help me learn from my mistakes," I knew what Priscilla was feeling. I knew it all along. I knew that her heart had a warm spot for Madonna somewhere. She wasn't here for a revenge, she was here just so she could be around Madonna a little while longer. She hoped to nip this bud of lingering forever while she had the chance. But she had clouded herself with a massive ego. That was her driving force before she came across Madonna years later. And the same ego was preventing her from spilling her heart out to me.
I guess, that did work. To save her façade from completely shattering, I asked Priscilla to slap me across the face. She marched towards me with her head lowered. And just before her hand touched my cheek, I saw tears running down her cheek once again.
Her long right hand met my cold face. She swung both of our bodies to a side. I had my head turned, while she lowered her head once again to block her eyes. The warmth that travelled from her palm to my now-red cheek gave away the hint of humanity that resided in both of us. We were not enemies, we were just jealous.
Oh, how we longed for same woman.
I extended my arm and held her red palm into my cold one. She shrugged a little bit, but didn't resist. I moved her body to face towards me. I could almost see her expressions on her face. The veil of hair was blocking my vision. And so, I ran fingers trough her dense hair and tucked them under one of her ears. She was sobbing.
I put my hand under her chin and made her look in my eyes. Her face expressed million things at the same time. She touched the palm print that rested on my cheek and almost limped on the smooth ground.
In that moment, I didn't see a world famous, successful, obnoxious and proud rapper. I saw a girl who had to grow up without a mother, a flawed father, and a betrayer. A girl so lonely, that she found solace in being somebody else. She herself seemed emotionally broken, but so was everybody in the room downstairs.
Before I cried at Priscilla's true face, I gave her a tight hug, so that I could repay all the fuzziness she provided me with her physical contact. I wanted to share that I knew, and I cared. But she was not getting back the love of my life. She had to realize her reality, and she had to accept that it was I who stood next to Madonna now.
"You're better than you were," As soon as I whispered these five words into her ear, her body stopped trembling. It became stationary. I heard her sniffing her nose and touching her face while we hugged. Then suddenly she pushed me away. She broke the hug and what I saw was P.A., the rapper. The obnoxiously proud woman, reformed. She sported a wide smile across her wet face, and her body pumped confidence instead of blood.
It was the same woman we first met. But she was different now.
She turned around and said, "In my room, tonight" before leaving me alone on the roof.
I was surrounded with silence once again.
------ ------ ------
I entered the room to see three women and one man sitting in silence. When they realized they were in my presence, they continued to stare at me until I took a seat next to Mad. A moment passed before I asked everyone what was going on.
Mad held my hand and said, "What happened to you. I have never seen snap you like that. Kyo, do you want to lie down?"
I freed my hand from her clutch and waved it around like nothing happened. I turned to Brad and apologized for the scene I had created. He responded positively. Then I took a moment to apologize everyone in the room, especially Priscilla. everyone returned to their natural personalities after that.
I took a pillow and put it on my lap. I requested Brad to start his side of the story. He nodded phlegmatically and put one of his foot down on the ground before speaking.
I gripped on the pillow and prepared myself for what was to come.