The morning dawned upon us while we slept in each others' arms. It was the warm sunlight that soothed the cool ambience of the room. the chill of the night had forced us into enveloping with each other. Not that I didn't like the human contact when I opened my eyes in the morning!
What seemed like a normal day in our lives seemed a little brighter than yesterday, just because of the night before. Every word uttered, every little gesture, every small touch amplified what I Maddy meant for me. From now on, she would be the one and only for me.
I had transitioned from loving men to adore women. Ever since the first encounter with Maddy on the cruise, I had questioned myself regarding my identity. But everytime I slept with her, the clouds over my mind cleared. No longer did I need to ask myself if I was in the right. I took the reigns of my life and answered the question for myself. I accepted myself as a lesbian.
Confessing it to myself made my heart race faster. The thought of spending my time with Maddy with no moral question mark was a relief. It made me strong and happy to accept what I had become. And what I was, was a newly reformed human. No longer bitter, and completely able to accept and reciprocate love.
Yes, I was in love with this woman who slept in my arms.
I was in the middle of self-congratulations when I saw Madonna rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand like a cat. She let out a small yawn that resembles a cat's meow. If that didn't establish my thrusting love boner for her, I doubt anything will.
She went back to sleep, while I ran my hands in her shiny blonde hair. It was smooth. My fingers easily slipped through her luscious locks. it gave me immense pleasure to play with my feline partner. Plus it woke her up, and I got to witness the glory of her sleepy face.
I looked her. she saw me.
I smiled. She smiled.
My life was taking a turn for the better. And for once, I was on board.
Two more months passed in a bliss and the building of the new branch was nearing its completion. Madonna was still continuing her old position, and I still was the boss of everyone. Everything seemed normal until one day Madonna barged into my office and exclaimed," I want a raise."
I closed all the files I had in front of me and rushed to lock the office door. As soon as I turned the key, I turned around and made her sit in the chair. I bent down on my knees in front of her, held her hands, and asked her what the issue was.
"Blessing, I have been with your company for a while now. I have proved myself to be a good employee. But I am sick of the people I work with. My department is full of conventional thinkers. They're robots. Everyone who I work with has by the book ideas, but I have put my mind to work and have turned numbers that can match local car dealerships. If your company wants me to continue working for them, I deserve a raise."
"Shh. Shh. Shh. Cool down babe. Ten months, and you're already fed up. How will you handle the whole branch by yourself?"
She threw her hand in the air in doubt before she asked me," What are you talking about?"
"I didn't want to say it right now, but the new branch that is opening up soon. It will require a manager. So, I was thinking of asking you for the said job."
Madonna heard the words coming out of my mouth and shrieked when I posed the question to her.
"Yes! Yes! Yes! I would love that so much. My own staff. My own office. No stupid people to listen to."
"You do know I'd still be your boss right," I asked.
"Yeah, of course."
We nodded in agreement before she broke the silence and said," So what is the plan? Do I throw my name in a raffle or I am already the chosen candidate?"
"You know, I never actually talked to my partners back in London. Give me a second and I will give you all the details."
Saying that I stood back up and went to my phone. I dialed a foreign number and directly contacted one of the Directors. I let them know about my suggestion, and they let me know the requirements that Madonna had to complete to get that job. Dejected, I disconnected the call and looked at the enthused Madonna.
"There is a checklist that you'll have to complete. Only then you can be eligible for the job."
"Well, I have been loyal, been putting out numbers, am a crowd favorite as well as loved by staff. What am I missing?"
After a brief pause, I answered her, "A Bachelor's degree."
I let that bomb drop on her and saw her smile turn upside down.
"What are your partners even talking? I have been doing this job flawlessly, and I also did my previous one without any fails. Why do I need a college's permission to move up in life?"
"Maddy, you have to understand that a college's stamp is important to the company. There is a public image for us to adhere by. And, you know, you never would have gotten your current job if not for your previous one."
She took a step back and questioned, "What does that even mean?"
"I mean, your experience was too valuable to pass on. Your communication skills laid the foundation for our success…"
She cut me off and asked me another question, "So you only used me for your gains?"
"Maddy, that is the literal definition of a JOB. You lend the company your skills. In turn, you get paid. Also, we were not dating when you came to me for a job. So this is '10 months old' Blessing talking, not present me."
"I don't care. I just, never thought you'd put your authority in between us."
I had to recover the situation. I knew that it was going south very fast.
"Maddy, you know I'd do anything for you. So, I'll try to make it happen. I'll call every one in charge and vouch for you.
Madonna started nodding to my idea. She turned around and unlocked the office door. Before leaving, she turned around and said, "You do that, Blessing, or I will walk away."
She didn't have to add that! the feeling of being alone and being replaced still lingered in my mind like a nightmare. Even after the compassion I received from Maddy, the haunting image of her holding somebody else's hand, made me cry. I was still in ignorance regarding my weaknesses, the ones that Maddy was still unaware of. And I cursed myself for being closed off while I battled this cloud of negativity all by myself.
I had to do something. I couldn't let her go away. I could not bear to be by myself again.
It was at dusk when we returned home. Madonna was still dejected, and I was still clueless to find a solution. We went inside the house, got changed, ate dinner, and prepared for bed. even since afternoon, we had not had a conversation. It was killing me inside. The fact that there was already a person who possibly could take the manager's place thinned Madonna's success rate even further.
But I had a plan in mind, and that was the only leverage I could pull against my partners. As we laid down next to each other, I explained my idea to Madonna.
"If you enroll into a college or a university, you can have your foot in the door. It is possible to have a position like that, provided that you get your Bachelor's Degree while you work."
Madonna's eyes sparked once again. It was a good chance for her to grab that promotion. She smiled from ear to ear before she whipped out her cellphone and showed me her Google searches.
"I was looking for universities which had my required courses. Turned out there was one in Kathmandu. Jazeera Uni. For Arts. It's a three year program. I don't have to buy any books, and the fee is low too. It's a steal!"
"Maddy, why not find here in Pokhra. Going to Kathmandu every day would be troublesome."
"No, no, it wouldn't be hard. I enrolled for weekend classes. Also, if I found a school in Pokhra, I'd be too distracted by you and work. Its actually nice to have some distance. Keeps the fire burning in our hearts, am I right?"
I couldn't help but agree with her. staying here in Pokhra would be a huge distraction for her and me. And this was a crucial step for her to take. Maybe a little bit of space would help her.
I gulped away my anxiety and asked her," So, when is the new session starting?"
"In 21 days. I will probably take 4 days off to find a place there. Speaking of that, Blessing I don't have much saved. Do you mind if I ask you to pay my fee? I'll return it to you as soon as possible."
"Sshhh. You don't have to return anything. I'd be happy to help. Just focus on your studies and make us proud."
After agreeing to help, I hugged her tightly to avoid looking in her eyes. I knew it was not going to last for long. She'd be here for majority of the times. We'd still have sex. We'd still be together.
Right?