I awoke to the sun shining brightly into my windows and had to blink a few times to adjust to the glare it cast. Only, blinking hurt, quite a bit. I got up and went to my vanity and winched when I looked in the mirror. The entire right side of my face was swollen, and seemingly one large bruise. I chuckled humorlessly, it seemed Sir Ramneal was stronger than I realized, or more likely I was too enraged to feel any pain when it happened.
Seeing as there was no help for it, I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door to my bedchamber heading out into the salon. Sir Ramneal was reading a leather bound book on the sofa when I entered and he spoke without looking up, "Good morning, Princess. Have you any plans for the day?"
"Actually..." I said softly. "I plan to go and see my brother. I won't ask you to join me though, I wouldn't want to cause trouble for you."
"It's my job..." he started to say as he looked up at me. When his eyes found my face he jerked violently, the book dropping from his hands to the floor. He stood so fast that it made me dizzy and then approached dropping to his knees before me. "By the gods, Princess... you're face. I haven't the words to apologize..."
"You've said your apologies, Sir Ramneal."
He grabbed hold of my hand, his amber eyes boring into mine. "I never meant to hurt you so."
"I bruise easily, that's all." I shrugged but he squeezed my hand.
"Does it hurt?"
"It looks worse than it feel." I lied. Honestly, just speaking was agonizing. As if he saw through me so easily, he stood placing his hand ever so gently on my cheek. Warmth began to spread from his fingers and I jumped back. "You can't..."
"I won't leave you in so much pain, Princess."
He reached up again but I took his large calloused hand in my own. "Your king forbade me to heal it and I won't give him any reason to take you from me." His eyes widened and I blushed having realized what I might have implied. "I simply mean, you seem to be the only ally I've left in the palace."
He nodded. "At the very least, allow me to get you something for the pain."
"They may have some willow bark tea in the infirmary."
"Stay here, Princess. I will be swift."
As soon as the door closed behind me I let my shoulders drop in absolute defeat. I knew I struck her hard, I had to if my king were to be satisfied but her face... her beauty had been marred by horrible bruises and the swelling was enough that I was surprised she could even open her eye. She must have been in incredible pain but of course she acted as if she felt none of it.
She was an incredibly brave, and entirely stubborn, woman and she awed me. Never before had a woman seemed so unreachable, and perhaps, that was why I was feeling as if I wanted to grab hold of her. I walked to the infirmary, and pushed open the doors to see all of the nurses and healers still. It wasn't an unexpected reaction, after all we came as conquers, but it was off putting none-the-less. I lowered my gaze so not to startle anyone and walked down the path between the beds that lined the walls. A beautiful, red haired, woman stepped out from behind a curtain and gazed at me with a look that could only be described as pensive.
"Can I help you, Sir?" She asked her voice soft but her eyes hard.
"The princess said that you might have willow bark tea here."
She nodded her head, her crimson locks falling over her shoulder. "That we do. This way."
I followed her to a store room in the back of the infirmary and watched as she rummaged through the canisters. She grabbed a glass jar that was about half full and handed it to me with a strange look about her. "Thank you."
"Have you need of anything else?" She asked eyeing me like a snake about to strike.
"Perhaps," I said stepping back. I wasn't one to give into fear but the thought of having to strike another woman left me coiling. "Might you have anything for swelling or bruises?"
"Both." She turned back to the store room and rummaged some more. "So, it is true then? That monster bruised her face."
I swallowed hard. Of course the story was known castle wide but the use of the word monster was off putting, since it was I who had stuck her. "She is in a great deal of pain." I said unable, no unwilling, to say anything more.
"Never more have I wished for the Seven to act. I hope your king chokes on his own blood. Our princess is the sweetest woman to walk the earth. I can't imagine how she must feel."
I felt my gut clinch. They thought it was my king who had hit her. I wouldn't doubt that it was he who said as much. Fear was a powerful thing, and if the princess wasn't safe in her own castle then why would the servants be? But why was I so at peace with allowing my king to take the blame for what I had done? It was so far beyond a knightly thing to do but I cared not. "I just hope to make her more comfortable."
The red haired woman stepped to me placing a salve in my hands as she looked into my eyes. I gulped, it was as if she could read the lines of my soul and it made me uncomfortable. "Apply the salve three times a day. And do not allow her to have more than one cup of tea with each meal." I nodded my thanks and turned to leave but the woman's voice froze me to my place. "There is no hope, Sir. She will ever be out of your reach so long as you are devoted to that beast. It may of been your fathers land that raised you but it will be ours that makes you grow."
I took off towards the door as if I could feel the flames at my back. I knew that woman was off putting but now I understood why, I had always hated seers.
I returned to the princess' room to find her laying on the sofa with a rag over her face. She stirred slightly as I entered the room but she did not greet me. Not that I expected her too. I could no longer expect anything from her, except anger or disgust. "I've the tea and a salve."
She sat up slowly and I winched slightly as I got a look at her. "Am I so unseemly?" She asked softly as she gazed at the ground.
My heart stopped for a moment. "No. You are as beautiful and unyielding as always."
"Then why do you wince?" She asked still not looking at me.
"I am disgusted with myself for hurting you and every time I catch sight of what I've done, it takes all I have not to vomit."
"I understand." She patted the place next to her. "Come, sit."
I did as asked and she turned her head enough to hide the bruises. "Sir Ramneal, might I confess something?"
My heart thumped against my chest, "Of course, Your Highness."
"I had started to feel inappropriately towards you. Your kindness, your warm touch, and the way I fit in your embrace..."
I swallowed down a breath, I was ready to tell her that I was feeling the same before she continued. "But this has reminded me of where we stand. You are not my knight in shining armor, and I am not a maiden for you to woe. You are a guard and I a prisoner at your mercy, and the mercy of those you serve. Let us treat this swollen face of mine as a reminder of the fact that we will never be more than enemies waiting for the moment when we might have to kill one another."
I stood fast my head spinning and my heart shattering. I had known better yet I allowed myself to have hope. How could I not when all the gods of all my homes decided to play the cruelest joke upon me. They deemed it fit to put before me the perfect woman, and except for the fact that she would never, could never be mine. "Yes, Your Highness." I placed the salve and tea before her. "I will return shortly. I've need to see my king."
A lie, but I refused to allow her to see the effect she had on me. It would only be my downfall.