I wanted to hide, or cry. Perhaps even fight. But instead, I paced frantically across my salon with both my maid's and Sir Ramneal's eyes on me. "Princess..." the maid said softly. "I'll need a reply."
I instantly stilled with rage and turned on her screaming. "As if I have a choice!" Flames danced on my fingers and I wanted to unleash them so badly. "You can..!"
A warm, stabilizing hand handed on my shoulder and I turned to face Sir Ramneal looking down at me with sad eyes. "It's not her fault."
Tears pooled in my eyes and I tried my best to keep them from falling, but failed. My sobs racked my body before I had the chance to stop them and my world felt brittle. Sir Ramneal, seemingly sensing all this, pulled me into his arms gently stroking his hand up and down my back. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. "Arabella, I'm so sorry."
I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and sunk into his comforting warmth. It was only when I was crying like a child into his chest that I realized he had used my name and felt my cheeks heat. But now was not the time, so I pulled away from him and took a deep breath. "Thank you." He smiled kindly. "Tell that monster I'll be there."
The maid nodded and ran from the room as if she knew how close she was to being lit on fire. "I wish I could stop this horrible spectacle... I know that it is against the teachings of the Seven."
I looked deep into his amber eyes and knew he meant the words he spoke and so I nodded my head. "If it wasn't bad enough that he had my father murdered... now he has denied him an afterlife, with my mother. Once we die we must return to the ground anything else is sacrilegious. And to burn my father's body before the entirely of the city is unspeakably evil." Once more tears fell on my cheeks but Sir Ramneal caught them with his calloused fingers. "At least we were allowed to bury everyone else who died during the siege..."
He brushed my hair behind my ear and smiled. "I will pray for them all, Princess. And you as well."
"Thank you, Sir Ramneal. Might I make a selfish request?"
"Anything." He said seriously.
"Would you be willing to hold me until I fall asleep? I'm too worked up to manage on my own."
He smiled at me, something cryptic in his eyes, and picked me up rather effortlessly. "It's not selfish, if I want it to do it as well." He mumbled as we entered my bedchamber. He walked to my bed and pulled back the covers, laying me down gently. He pulled off my boots, then his own, and climbed into the bed next to me with a soft smile.
I moved over laying my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. "Thank you. I know this must be difficult."
"Why? Because I'm hopelessly in love with you?"
I stiffened, my spine going straighter than a board. Did he really just say that he loved me? That's ridiculous! He doesn't know me. And even if he did... I could never, would never, return his feelings. Would I? I shook my head, trying to chase off every act of kindness he ever did for me as they played on repeat in my mind and heart. He was handsome, though honestly he was beyond handsome, possibly otherworldly. He was kind. And strong. Loyal to a fault. Determined and passionate... but he was the First Sword of Althea, the man who killed my father, imprisoned my brother, and took away everything I ever loved. I just... couldn't.
He chuckled. "You can relax. I'm not foolish enough to think you feel the same way. Even if you enjoy staring at me."
"I do not!" I protested.
"Sure Princess, get some sleep." He chuckled pulling me further against his side. "You've nothing to fear, I'm sure I'm one of many who you've unintentionally charmed.
I laughed lightly. If only he knew that I had only ever had one suitor before, not that I returned his feeling either, and he died during the siege. I closed my eyes counting his heart beats until I drifted to sleep.
There was something magically strange about waking in the arms of a man that I... didn't hate. That was all I would allow myself, even liking him could prove lethal. It wasn't the first time I'd awoken to Sir Ramneal wrapped around me like a vine to a tree but this time seemed more pleasant than the last. I laid as still as I could manage, so not to wake him, and looked into his sleeping face. Sleep had taken the stiffness from his jaw, the crease from his brow, and the sorrow from his eyes leaving behind a face that even the gods could envy. His wispy brown locks where sticking up on end and tickling at his nose making him appear even younger than his twenty-five or so years. He was a sight to behold, an angel amidst devils, and, judging by his uneven breathing, pretending to be sleep. Bastard. I sighed.
"See? What did I say? Staring." He spoke softly never opening his eyes to see the blush on my cheeks.
"I was not." I muttered. And so what if, that, I was. Was I not allowed to enjoy the small pleasures in my own apartment? I'd look at whatever I damn well pleased including the man in my bed.
My blush deepened further at the thought and I felt the vibrations of Sir Ramneal's laugh throughout my body. "What are you thinking about, Princess?"
"Nothing. I'm allowed my thoughts am I not?" I spit out, speaking faster than a sane human would. "Or are those yours to rummage through as well?"
He laughed louder this time pulling me tightly against him, as he tilted his chin so it rest in my hair. "Of course not. You're thoughts are your own, Princess."
I squirmed trying to break free of his hold but it only tightened. "What are you doing?! Let go of me!"
"I will not." He smirked. "You, my dear, clearly woke on the wrong side of the bed. Therefore, I'm redoubling our nap efforts."
Oh, he was so incredibly frustrating... and cute. But mostly irritating. "I'm not a toddler, you can't just put me down for a nap." I groaned trying to push his large, toned, arm off of me.
He stroked his fingers down my side and I stilled. Frozen in place by the warm, tingling, trail of pleasure they left behind. "I'm not putting you down for a nap, Your Highness, I'm asking that you remain in bed with me until morning."
I groaned. "You've you're own bed."
He took a deep breath, one that shuffled my hair. "It smells far more delightful in here."
My face was burning, fire claiming me. "Nonsense..." I muttered throatily as a feeling I'd never experienced clamped hold of my stomach. "You Althean tool..."
"Back to calling me names, I see." He smirked looking more handsome than any man had the right to. "And here I thought you liked me a bit more now."
"Nonsense." I said giving him another push. But this time he wasn't expecting it, and so he rolled off the edge of the bed that we were stupidly close to. Tangled as I was in his arms I fell with him. We hit the tiles, laughing, me straddling him, my arms tucked under his back. "Are you okay?"
He looked up at me smirking. "I can think of worse fates than being trapped beneath a beautiful woman."
I blushed as I looked down at him, pulling my arms free. "You've grown bold, Sir." I ran my finger down his jaw, marveling at the feel of it. His amber eyes glowed, alight with desire. He looked more handsome beneath me than ever before and part of me forgot my lot in this life.
"You've seen nothing of my boldness, Your Highness." He said hoarsely.
It was clear that he was just as lost in the moment as I was. Deciding that if given the choice I would give into Sir Ramneal a thousand times before I let his king touch my hand, I spoke boldly. "Then show me."
His eyes widened and he bit hold of his lip,
"Do you know what you ask?"
"I would rather not have my first kiss stolen by a man I despise. Drake, please, let me know the feel of loving lips just once."
He grabbed hold of my waist with soft, trembling hands and flipped us so that I was beneath him. He looked down at me wildly like me might lose control but still hesitated. "This is a bad idea, Arabella."
"I challenge you, First Sword of Althea, calm your conquest."
He groaned before he dropped his weight atop me, his soft lips slanting over mine. I closed my eyes as he kissed me over and over again. His hands tangled in my hair and mine moved to around his neck. I pulled him closer wanting to feel more of the warmth that was spreading through me. It was the most incredible sensation I'd ever felt. I was lost in all that Sir Ramneal, no, that Drake could offer me. His tongue traced the seam of my lips and I opened for him, waiting anxiously for him to deepen this amazing kiss. But instead I got a shock. A literal shock and I pulled away with wide eyes.
He pulled back as well, looking absolutely mortified. "I'm so entirely sorry, Princess, I lost control of my magic."
I blinked at him, and then started laughing loudly. He blinked down at me before laughing as well. "Lightening magic is channeled through confidence, how did you lose control? Rage is easy but you felt meek?"
He pulled away looking rather sheepish. "I know you Moreans are lose with love but where I come from these things mean something."
My breath flew from my lungs, shock leaving me dumb. "You're... you're a virgin?"
"Shout it from the mountains, why don't you?" He groaned leaning against the bed.
I sat up sitting next to him. "Sorry. But it came as a shock."
"I've kissed a woman before but not like that. She meant nothing to me, an arranged marriage but you..." He sighed. "No, I haven't lain with a woman before. And I refuse to until I know we love one another."
"I am happy to have shared such an important thing with you then. That was my first kiss... forgive my rudeness, you're just so confident and attractive that I figured you were in a constant swarm of women."
He laughed taking my hand. "Oh, I was." He winked at me.
"So, the First Sword of Althea can have any woman that he desired yet he picked one without much to look at?"
He blinked slightly confused and then realization colored his face. "You remember that?"
"Hard to forget a stranger seeing you naked."
He laughed loudly as he squeezed my hand. "It was hard for the stranger to forget as well."
I blushed slightly leaning against him. "We're damned, aren't we?"
"Most definitely, my princess."
I stood up pulling him with me into the bed. "Might as well take that nap then." He nodded as he laid down pulling me to him. "Drake?"
"Yes?" He whispered in my ear.
"If I come out victorious, I want you to flea Morea before anyone is the wiser." I took a deep breath. "And if I fail, I want you to kill me before he ruins me."
His trembling hand went under my chin lifting my eyes to his. "Should you win, I will not run from my sins, Arabella. You'll avenge your father, and I'll hand you the blade. And if you lose, we shall die together."
I pressed up pushing my lips against his before laying my head on his chest. I couldn't love this man. I wouldn't love this man. But, perhaps I might find comfort and joy in him while I was alive to do so.