"So you were hurting all night and you couldn't even say a word"
"I'm sorry" my head facing down. Tears welled up; tiny drops started dropping out of my eyes. I then covered myself with my right hand, supressing the pain I felt. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But I found myself hurting him to the core that his eyes were red.
"Are you alone in this marriage… oh wait… am I alone in this marriage?" he expressed.
"No… you not alone" I answered in a faint voice.
"So why does it feel like I'm alone?" he probed, he was on the other side of the bed, I sat motionless on the other side too.
"I'm sorry" I said.
"You think keeping quiet will solve problems?" he kept this questions coming even though I have apologized. I couldn't remain nonchalant any longer.
"I said I was sorry ok…" I lashed out getting up from the bed. It wasn't something that I had planned on doing. My emotions took over.
"We've been married for 72 hours and we are fighting already!" he got closer to me, he examined me. I could see the hate in his eyes. He despised me, from the angle he gazed at me. Totally moved me, wasn't sure what was next. I thought of calming the situation after all it is my fault. I should have been honest with him on the first place. I do believe that, if I had told him that I was uncomfortable in the first place perhaps things would have been different, rather than having this misunderstanding.
"No we not fighting it's just a misunderstanding…"
"I don't think it is" he spoke calmly… he was so down… he said all of those words while dressing up.
"Baby where are you going?" I asked
"Why are you concerned about where I'm going Lindy?" his eyes were red and the sinews were showing on his forehead, words barely came out of his mouth when he tried to speak, the veins on his neck became strong as if he was singing a high note.
"I'm concerned… because I love you and I care about you!" I hugged him from behind, hoping that he might change his mind.
"You care… so you care about me now?" he paused from dressing, his elegant voice quivered, he wasn't happy at all. You could count his words.
"Yes!"
"So is that's what you are saying?"
"Yes!"
"You know what angers me most?"
"No… I don't"
"You say that you care about me… but yet you don't even show that you do…" he broke loose from my grasp. He walked towards the cupboard in search of his shoes.
"How can you say that?"
"I knew that you weren't alright… because I care so much about you…"
"Baby please don't go… let's talk"
"Why should we talk, when you didn't care so much to ask me, how I was feeling too?"
"Love. Please forgive me for my mistake…"
"You think that you are the only one hurting?" just when I was still shocked about his words he opened the door. At the door it was Mercy and Trevor. Mercy let herself in and he went out with Trevor.
"Girl your text shocked me" said Mercy "Are you alright?" meanwhile when J.R was in the shower taking that long shower. I immediately texted Mercy, she always had a remedy for everything, even though she did not have answers but she sure had something to calm down my nerves.
"He's angry with me… I think he hates me" I said.
"Girl, why would J.R hate you? That man loves you, he worships the ground you walk on, if there's one lucky lady on this planet earth that would be you" she said massaging my stiff muscles on my shoulders.
"You didn't see the way he looked at me" I said.
"He's probably angry right now but he will come to his senses" she said.
"I don't know, I have never seen him this angry, it was like he was possessed by some spirit…" I tried describing J.R's posture.
"You guys are supposed to be enjoying your honeymoon instead of having a cat and dog fight, what is wrong with the two of you?" she asked.
"Yeah, you are right he even reminded me that, we have been married for 72 hours can you imagine, J.R is mad at me…" I couldn't supress the tears, perhaps if I cried and let the tears magnify the pain in my heart, perhaps I would feel much better.
"Look, let me go to my suite and bring you something that will release your stress and lighten up your shock whiles you clean up" she said. I tried drying up my tears after hearing what she had to say.
"Girl, are you on drugs?" I asked.
"I'll be right back"
I know it is kind of humiliating what we girls go through for the first time, and it's not like the olden days where the truth about lifestyle has been hidden and we were not being told. This modern lifestyle has brought sensitivity in our everyday lives and now we have to face each and everything that comes our way even if it's disturbing
Mercy brought a book that will guide me, and she has been reading it on how to overcome this situation.
"I need you to read this book" she said "And understand it… it's not the end of the world" she rubbed my back.
"Girl I wished my mom had warned me about this, I feel so stupid and powerless"
"My love, our mothers won't hold our hands every time we will face difficulties… being here on this honeymoon is just a mind set to understand each other's flows and senses"
"Oh my word… look who's talking?" I said.
"Girl you don't have to change the subject" she said.
"No I'm not changing it… just that… you look so relaxed…"
"Yeah… I am relaxed… I love my husband and just the thought of talking about him make me miss him so bad"
"Wow!"
"What's wrong?" she asked
"I can see the way you are glowing… I should be also like you but, here I am sobbing about my 72 hours of marriage"
"My friend you need to sort out your marriage… and the only way to is to get a book from the internet about marriage guidance's and also read the one I've given to you… but you should start with it…"
"Thank you my friend"
"You are welcome… and now let me text my man to come back because I miss him already" she bragged.
"What don't text him now…"
"Why not?"
"I still need some time to read the book… and if Trevor decides to come back now… J.R will also come back"
"Girl what?" she exclaimed "Are you trying to tell me that you are scared to face your husband?"
"Well no… yes… look keep me company and read the book just for a few tittles then you can text him…"
"Girl I don't know…" she said.
"Please I'm begging you"
"Ok… I won't text him…" she said"
"Thank you"
"But only for, half an hour that's all"
"Thank you girl you are the best" I appreciated.