Chapter 5
All the way to campus I did not utter a word to her even by the time we went back to her place for her to change for the function, I did not see the necessity of talking to her, why should I even talk to her? I know how I feel about her and she also knows, if I would open my mouth I would end up pulling out my frustrations on her, its best to just keep quiet sometimes, she brought the dark cloud after all and she has to remove it. What is more amusing is that. The man of God sees a cloud above my head instead of seeing it on her head. I've never been into trouble before other than the public drinking, whilst I was trying to drink out my sorrows away.
There are things in life that don't need you to kneel down and pray. But have to face that situation, you can't pray for an apple, mango or even an orange to fall out from a tree but you have to pluck it out.
Every situation needs to be dealt with it's either, physically, emotional or spiritual but in the end it needs to be over. God promised Abraham a land, He promised him decedents that were uncountable, and decedents that were almost equal to the stars above. Abraham had no children by that time. God new before Abraham, God is a promise keeper, He delivers according to your needs not your wants and when God says yes nobody can say no, when He has answered He already had blessed you abundantly. So that your enemies may also see that God's hand has already neither touched nor blessed you.
I give myself away. I'm allowing God's hand to work, am allowing God's plans to work. What the man of God has said, he was sent by God to alert me so that I may prepare myself, so that I can steadfast in prayer. Whenever the dark hour or the bad time comes God would have already sent his angels to protect me from harm.
Extortions and exams are not the same, the Devil extorts the people of God, and the Lord examines the faith in his people. These exams are to take you to another level, before going to another level you have to undergo an exam, before proceeding to another grade or level you have to go through a test, trials and tribulation. The good Lord has given me strength to give my testimonial.
At the campus all things were happening, varsity students and college students came in, in numbers, they were having fun, having time of their lives. I didn't want to go in, but because I had promise to join them, it would look like I'm being rude towards them. I had questions that needed answers but didn't have the answerer to probe my questions too.
"So… um… we have arrived." She said.
"Yeah,"
"Hey… um… don't take what the pastor had said 'too' seriously ok." She said.
"I'll try not to."
"Just try to have fun and loosen yourself up ok." She said.
"I guess so,"
"So are you coming, or you are going to stay inside the car?" she probed.
"Hum… I actually don't know" I was so nervous, I didn't know what to do or say, but all I needed to do is to be myself and be that polite guy I used to be before.
"I can stay with you, if you wish." She said.
"No, its ok, you don't want to be stuck out here, inside here with me believe me."
She opened the door and I also got out of the car, I wanted to accompany her to the door, but I ended up standing by the car and she, standing beside me.
"Have I told you that, I feel safer when you are around and especially when I'm with you?" she said.
"No, you haven't."
"Well, I just did." She jested.
"No, you did not; you just asked me if you had already told me before…"
"… Ok… J.R, I feel safe and protected around you, and I enjoy your company too." She smiled.
"Wow, ok thanks for your appreciation." I said and took a bow.
"I really mean it." She said.
"Yeah and I mean it too."
"Please… don't stress… it'll pass, take it as a mist, it'll soon go out." She said.
"Well, um… have I told you that I take spiritual messages very important?"
She smiled "No have not."
"Well, I just did."
She giggles, I glanced at her as she bit her lips and wiggles her head.
"Oh J.R, you are something else." She said.
"What am I?"
"Are you trying to be a comedian?" she probed.
"Who me, nah I'm no comedian." we both ended up laughing.
"Oh yeah… its quite nice to see you smiling again." she said "I love that."
"I have missed the old J.R." she gazed into my eyes.
"What are you saying… because you are still looking at the same person?"
"No… this is the J.R I have always enjoyed to be close too," she hugged me so tightly.
"Oh really,"
As she made me blush, her eyes light up my heart, she is one remarkable woman.
"What are you starring at?" she asked.
"Am admiring your beauty…"
"… Guys, It's been over an hour since you are staring at each other." shouted Trevor.
She turned around and smiled at them, I gave Trevor a hand signal showing him that we are coming. When she turned around, our eyes met together, our noses almost collided. She was stunned. She did not say anything; she did not blink neither did I held her neck what I just did, I did not plan it. Her heart beat was beating fast like they were a bunch of horse racing inside her heart. I know she feels the way I feel about her.
I want to kiss her and she also wants to kiss me.
"… May I please rest; rest my lips on your mouth watering lips?" I felt her left hand holding my neck too and she said.
"Why?" she was yearning for my lips, our four heads were attached together, noses rubbing each other, I was inhaling her breath and she was also inhaling and exhaling mine, and to answer to her question.
"Because mine are dry," we spoke so silently as we both breathe intensely. She eyed at my lips as I looked into her eyes.
"Please allow me… to rest… upon your lips," I begged.
"… Upon your lips," she said the exact words I just said, we both spoke at the same time, I kissed her and set my lips back, but she wanted more, she said.
"Kiss me J.R!" with a sweet romantic voice, she whispered to my ear, I held her back and gazed into her eyes. She was melting slowly and slowly. I kissed her gentle and slowly. My feelings for her and hers for me were flowing freely like the river Nile. Her actions spoke more loudly that very moment. I know she wants me and I want her too. Tonight she has felt the true divine love from my actions. Her true emotions did not escape her heart and a loud voice from the background "Come on get a room!"
She held back, I grabbed her back to me; I looked into her eyes, she felt embarrassed. As I caressed her and hugged her tightly, she did not utter a word.
And all I said was "I'm sorry" she held back again. And said "It's ok… you'll find me inside, calm yourself and breath."
"Ok, I'll be there just now," I said.
I sometimes just don't figure it out with girls one moment they are into you and the next they are not. Well I guess I have to put up with it.
I went inside the hall room! To my surprise the hall was packed up with student, they were so many they came in numbers I tried to find her but because of the crowd she was hard to find. I also thought she's probably looking for me, what kept me looking was that I couldn't even see where Trevor and Mercy were. My final option was to be closer to the stage at least there I can get a clear look of all the people down there. What caught my eye was not pleasing at all, I don't know if she is the one who brought the dark cloud in my life. She is a beautiful woman, I admit, but the way she always seems to get into trouble more often, I don't know if I'm now Michael the Archangel of war.
I keep on getting into fights. I guess that's what happens when you love someone so dearly.
She was busy being harassed by some drunker. I don't even know when the lightning will strike from that dark cloud. Maybe tonight is my last night, the last time I see her I should probably save her for the last time, I have been told already that death is knocking at my head.
"Hey baby girl… are you alright?" I asked.
"No I'm not… this guy is harassing me." She said
"I'm dancing with this beautiful girl… I escorted her to…" he said
"…To do what, exactly… if I may ask?" I said.
"Come on lets go… lets go and find another spot." she said as we turned around. I heard what felt like my mind was drifting away from my body. The busted had smashed a bottle on my head. I turned around to look at him, to see if he wasn't mentally disturbed. He wanted to stab me with the piece of bottle left on his hand. I quickly acted and grabbed him by the arm, I decided to break his arm, make him feel some pain, I was dizzy I wanted to fall but I held myself tried not to pass out! I was stumbling.
"J.R… J.R." someone was calling out my name. I couldn't get a clear look, I couldn't see who it was, couldn't even get the clear pitch of the sound, if it was on alien, a girl, a woman or a man.
"J.R, are you ok?" she asked.
"I think I'm losing my mind." I said.
"You'll be alright." She said
"Yeah,"
This other guy was screaming, he was in so much pain, I turned around and faced him
"You are the one who smashed his beer on my head right?"
"And you broke my arm." His voice was quivering; he was in so much pain.
"Do you know what damage can happen to my head after all this?"
"You broke my arm…" he was sobbing.
"… good because you wanted to stab me and you know what you are going to sweep all your glasses."
"What?" he said.
"This guy is crazy!" said another guy from the background.
"He definitely is." said another girl
"They are both crazy." a second guy spoke. They started to disagree with each other. The other girl who was with the second guy said something that changed their minds and looked at this matter with a different perspective.
"This guy was only protecting his girlfriend and this guy chose to smash and crake the bottle on his head it's totally wrong." She said.
"I'll go and fetch the broom if you don't apologize from me and my girl here." I said.
"Ok! Ok, I'm sorry." he said.
"I no longer feel comfortable here, may we please go?" Lindy pulled my hand.
"Ok!"
"Does it hurt?" Lindy asked.
"Yeah, it does and I think I'm swelling."
"Am sorry…" she tried looking for the cut on my head.
"It's ok it's not your fault…"
"No it is my fault… if we had not come… you wouldn't be swelling like that," she said.
We got into the car, and drove off we did not partake on the function, we just wasted our fuel to drive there and we came back with scars, after all I never wanted to go to this function my instincts were right, next time I have to follow them and stop doing favors for others, and start thinking about myself.
"Hey please, stop over there." She requested.
"Why over there?"
"This place is remarkable to me," she said.
"How so?"
"So, you have forgotten?" she asked.
"Not really… I just like messing with your mind." I teased.
"Oh ok" she smiled and I glanced at her, she saw that I was looking at her. "What are you also smiling about?"
"The fact that I kissed you and you kissed me back in front of so many people."
"Oh really now… that's why you are smiling?" she said.
"Do you know that feeling of kissing someone you love, how does it feel like?"
"Yeah… I know it?"
"How many times have you left it?"
"I don't know" she kind of look of offended.
"Lindy!" I called out her name in suspense.
"Ah huh,"
"How many guys have you dated?"
"One, why do you ask?" she probed.
"I was just being curious that's all,"
"Do you have another question?" she probed.
"Yeah, yeah I do… how many guys have you kissed neither your male friend nor boyfriends?"
"J.R where are you going with all this?" she asked.
"Am just curious, that's all,"
"Why do you want to know?" she probed.
"I've just asked you a simple question, why can't you answer it?"
"Ok fine. You want to know its three guys, it's you, Vusi and, and…."
I got more curious, she mentioned three guys, she mentioned Vusi and me, who's this other guy, because whatever she's doing by kissing guys and leading them on. She must be digging her own grave. She saw the way I looked at her and she started to walk.
"Hey who's the other guy?"
The answer she gave me shocked me and I laughed. She said the third guy was her dad.
"Are you going to laugh that I've been kissed by my father?" she smiled.
"No, it's not that… it's just that…"
"Just what?... hold the phone, you thought that I was a pervert… oh sorry J.R I outplayed you."
"Wait! So where are you going?"
"I just want to sit down." She said.
"Look I'm sorry about my stupid questions."
"It's ok, you were only creating a conversation." She said.
"Lindiwe, I don't know in some case whether you see that…"
"… you love me?... that's what you wanted to say right?" she probed.
"Yeah… but not only that, I…"
"… you also care, for me?... I know all of that." She said.
"But why... what is it that you plan to do with my feelings for you?"
"J.R…" she looked at me and faced down.
"The way you caressed me earlier at the parking area, I knew and I could sense that you and I were connecting… you do have feelings for me but you are resisting them to flow freely…" I said.
"…I know what I feel ok!" she lashed out "And I know that you love me." She breathed heavily.
"So…"
"Quiet! And let me do the talking…"
"Ok, I'll just listen," I said.
"Ever since you came into my life, you have knocked me down, every time you look at me, your eyes just light up, they glow…" she stood up and looked away from me. "From the very moment I realized that you loved me was, the night you came running after me, when my car broke down, I got out, in my mind I wished that, Vusi would come and save me from the heartache he had caused. But you came, melancholy was written all over your eyes, your love and everything…" she explained.
"…And through all that experience that I have had with you… you are still denying me your love… but why, I don't get it."
"I also don't get it because, I… I do feel the same about you." having heard her say that, it was like a rock that has been blocking my territory had been moved. Tears were already dripping out of her eyes; I got closer to her, and hugged her. She gave me a loud cry. She wept, her tears soaked my jacket. Sadly enough, a police patrol car stopped before us.
"Hey young man, what did you do to her?" asked one of the officers.
"Um, officers… I haven't done anything to her; you can ask her yourselves." I said.
She moved from me and looked them her eyes were so red.
"Is this young man giving you hard time?" asked the second one.
She wiggled her head and did not utter a word; they looked at me and back at her. I didn't even realize that, that drunken guy had twisted her wrist and she was bruised.
"Young man please turn around," He said "Put your hands on your head… don't you know that it is against the law to abuse a woman?" I gasped so hard, for a moment I had given up; the dark cloud was hovering and already was taking its course.
My pursuit for her has been adventures, I've been in and out of storms, trials and tribulations, where ever she is and I'm present, there seems to be trouble. But what can I say, I'm enjoying every second of it. What can I say, love can be venturesome.
"But… officers..,"
"Silent!" ordered police number 2 whilst, the other officer read me my rights.
"Anything you say, maybe used against you in the court of law." Said police number 1.
My head faced down, as they handcuffed me, they turned me around facing the police van, I thought maybe if I could look at her one more time, I don't know how long I'll be held in those cells. It'll be my memory of her, seeing her beautiful face. I looked at her, tears fell like rain, they were like endless streams, and they magnified the pains in my heart. I heard her say "You are not taking him anywhere."
In my mind I could see that, she wouldn't handle the thought of not being with me after all she has poured her heart out like that. She begged them not to take me with them.
"But this young man has molested you." Said police number 2.
"In his life, ever since I have met him, he has never hurt any women or ill-treated me, if in any case you wish to arrest somebody this evening, arrest me." She said.
"Do you understand what you are saying young lady?" probed the other police number 1.
"Yes I do, if you arrest him, there's a possibility that I might wake up dead tomorrow," she said.
"You are not making any sense young lady." Said Police number 2.
I was confused, I got caught in her words, they disquieted me like a fly caught on a spiders web, I did not understand what she meant by 'I might wake up dead tomorrow' has her love for me grew in her heart that she can't even live without me.
"The man you are about to take, is my boyfriend, he wasn't abusing me, I love him."
She said the 'L' word, she did not tell it to my face that she loved me, but as it has been said before, 'actions speak louder than words' her actions proved that she had it for me but she kept on denying it. The way tears tide out of her eyes; she must be drinking more than 2 liters of water per day. Tears dripped out of my eye's and couldn't help it but wipe them out with my shoulder even though they could not dry out.
The officers saw the sadness in our eyes.
"Jesus man…" said one of the officers "look at both of them, the girl is crying and so is the guy,"
"Maybe we are doing wrong, perhaps he hasn't assaulted her…" said the second police.
"That is what I am trying to tell you" she was sobbing.
"Look we are sorry…" the other police apologized.
"Yeah man, what they have for each other is enormous; they remind me of Romeo and Juliet… Jack and Rose, Tristan and Tisdale… young love," he nodded his head.
"These young stars… love make them cry, who would have thought…" admired the first one.
They kept on talking and forgotten to un-cuff me.
"Yeah man, it is also sweet though…" said the second police.
Finally, one of them remembered and they set me free. She hugged me and held onto me so tightly and she was frightened, she was shivering and also sobbing. I took of my jacket and covered her with it.
"Its ok now, you can stop crying…. Lindy you'll develop Migraines please dear." I said.
"I'm sorry, I really am sorry…" she continued sobbing.
"I can see that, but I beg you to stop… I'm here, I'm not leaving you by any chance, and I won't leave you." I declared.