This is it, there's no turning back! I'm going to tell her how I feel today. I confidently squeeze the jewelry box in my hand. I stare at the water fountain behind me. This setting is supposed to romantic right?
???: Ashton?
Ashton:..!
I hear a small voice behind me and turn around to see Claire wearing a bright blue dress, smiling at me. Is it only me or does she look prettier than usual?
Ashton: Oh, h-hey. Y-You look nice today.
Claire: Really? Thanks.
She brushes her hair behind her ear, her cheeks faintly pink. Seeing her this way, my heartbeat speeds up. Calm down, don't act like a moron.
Both: I had something to tell you.... Oh.
Ashton: You got first, it's your birthday.
Claire: Okay. So... They made me the VP of the college newspaper club!
Ashton: What?! That's great!
It's been only a few weeks since college started and she's already making progress!
Claire: I know! I'm so happy! Today couldn't be any better!
She beams at me and I feel a little uneasy inside.
Ashton: Yeah...
What if I tell her my feelings and that ruins her mood?
Claire: Anyway, what did you want to say?
Here's goes nothing! I hold out the jewelry box to her.
Ashton: Happy birthday, Claire.
Claire:..!
She opens the box and gasps at the bracelet inside.
Claire: Aren't those sapphires?! They're so expensive! I can't accept this! Besides we're only friends!
I knew she'd say that.
Ashton:... Would you accept it if we were more than friends?
Claire: What..?
She blinks at me in surprise. Her surprise makes me flitch a little but,... I've waited for 4 years, I'm not going to hold back anymore.
Ashton: I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time... I like you, would you go out with me?
Claire:..!!
Her eyes go wide in surprise.
Claire: You... You mean it?
Ashton: Yes...
She purses her lips looks away. I guess that's a 'no'.
Ashton:... It's fine.
Claire: What?
Ashton: You don't have to give me answer now. Have a good day, then.
I try to hide my disappointment with a forced smile hoping she wouldn't notice it. I turn around and start to walk away when it hits me... The exit was the other way! Ugh, I'm going to look like a complete idiot if I turn back now. Just then..
Claire: Wait!
Ashton:..! Claire?!
She flings her arms around me and hugs me tightly from behind and I feel something soft press against my back.
Claire: You didn't listen to what I had to say...
Ashton: What?
Claire: Don't look at me right now!
Ashton: O-Okay..
I turn my head around slightly to peak at her face but she yells at me and I end up looking right ahead.
Claire: I didn't realize until now but, if you're still willing to... Would you take me as girlfriend- Ah! What're you-
Ashton: Just stay like this for a while.
Claire:.. Okay..
I turn around and pull her into an embrace. I can't believe it. This means that she feels the same way about me, right? This is the happiest I've ever been. She hugs me back, tugging on my shirt....
Claire: Where are we going?!
Ashton: Somewhere they won't interrupt us again!
I pull Claire's hand behind and lead to the Central Fountain Park.
Claire: You mean Drake and Louis? Why don't you want them to tag along?
Ashton: Because we're on a date, duh.
That old tree! Not many people stroll in that part of the park, perfect! We hide behind the tree, out of breath.
Claire: Hahhh, I haven't run so much since PE at school! Do you think they're still around here?
She steals a glance at the entrance from behind the tree.
Ashton: I don't think so. Drake is always dragged by Louis but he isn't really clingy so as to come after us.
Claire: Yeah, you're right.
It's been almost four months since we've started dating and something or someone always interrupts our dates so we haven't really gone past holding hands. It's not like I'm desperate or anything but... We do need a little alone time.
Ashton: You think I was being overdramatic, don't you?
Claire: Of course not! So what if you don't like to hang out with a lot of people at once? And so what if you are a little overdramatic at times? Those are some of the things I love about you.
Ashton:..! Did you just indirectly tell me that you love me? Wow, that was the boldest you've ever been.
Claire:..!! I-I-I didn't!
So she didn't mean it? Come to think of it, she never really told me how she felt all this time.
Ashton:... So you don't, huh. W-Well, it's okay, I mean it'll be one day when you do-
Claire:.. Lean in.
Ashton: What?
She adverts her eyes and her cheeks flare red.
Claire: Bend down!
Ashton: What? Why- Mmn...
*Chu*
She pulls the back of my head down with hands and drops a peck on my lips. My eyes go wide in surprise even while she pulls away, her face red as a beet.
Claire: You're too tall!
Ashton: Huh...?
Claire: You're too tall! Can't you be a little considerate for a short girl?!
Ashton: Uh...
Um, okay... that was... Yeesh! What am I supposed to say?! Meanwhile, she buries her face in my chest so that I don't see it.
Claire:.. Just because I'm too shy to admit it, it doesn't mean that I don't feel that way.
Claire... Stop being so adorable.
Ashton: For how long have you...?
Claire: If I tell you, will you laugh at me?
Ashton: Why would I?
She clings on to my shirt and slowly opens her mouth.
Claire:... Four years...
Ashton:..!
Four years..! We both felt the same way and yet missed each other because we didn't say it out loud. I wrap my arms around her and she looks up at me in surprise. We stare into each other's eyes and somehow our faces start moving towards each other. Who leaned in first; me or her? We pay no mind to the question as we finally immerse ourselves in the next step of our relationship....
And then..
Claire: What?! You're not going to take up on the offer?!
Claire yells standing up from the bench.
Ashton: Calm down..
Claire: How am I supposed to calm down when you're ruining your once in a lifetime chance to study abroad?!
That's true, it's very rare for the Junior Actors's League to scout someone for learning acting in their main agency but...
Ashton: I can't just leave you here. Besides, I'm planning to join the City Centre Agency and they're happy to have me.
Claire: Of course they are! Someone as talented as you joining their agency would give them a boost! You want to waste all your hard work just because you don't want move overseas which would mean that you'd have to break up with me?! Let me tell you something, that ain't happenin'!
Ashton: Why are you yelling? I'm doing this for us!
Claire: 'Us'?! I don't want to be a part of 'us'!!
Ashton: What?
Does she mean...
Claire: *sigh*... I've given it a lot of thought..
She rummages around in her purse and takes something out. She takes my hand in hers, places something in it and closes it.
Claire: You want to become an actor and I, a journalist. An actor and journalist can't be together... 'Please' don't come after me.
She turns around and walks away. I want to stop her but somehow, I can't do anything and feel as though I'm paralyzed. I look down and open my palm and see the sapphire bracelet I gave her 2 years ago in it. 2 years and she never once wore it and now she left me because I didn't want to us to be apart. Was I wrong? About her and about everything?
My heart feels as though it's been shattered into a million pieces and my chest aches. Suddenly my vision blurs. Something warm and wet falls on my lap. Tears..? I've never cried before. Heh, the first time I cry is because someone turned their back to me. Is it even worth it?
I chuckle, despising myself and my feelings. But the sad smile doesn't last too long and my lips tremble with anger. I squeeze the bracelet in my hand tightly and it breaks. I feel a sharp pain in my hand and open it to see the loose stones drenched in blood. I gave this bracelet to the person I loved more than myself and now, it's broken... just like my heart....
So much has happened here... And to be with her here again seems unreal. I loved her with all my heart then hated her with all heart and now? I'm not sure what I feel. I turn to look at her.
Ashton: Do you still come here?
Claire: Nah, the last time I came here was 7 years ago with-.... my fiance.
She means Troy. She either moved on too fast or somehow got into the 'Sugar Daddy' arrangement with him.
Ashton: Really?
Claire: Mmhm, this is where he proposed to me.
My heart aches but I don't let my feelings show.
Ashton: Seven years, huh. You must really... love him.
Claire: I do. He's nice, caring and..
Ashton: Not an actor?
I say jokingly, painfully aware of the answer. She loves him but, I know what he really thinks of her.
Claire: You didn't have to really bring that up right now but, yeah. After being with him for so long, he seems like the one you wouldn't mind spending your life with.
'You wouldn't mind' doesn't sound like an expression of love but, if she's only after his money, she would've left him by now; she could have had enough money to cure her mother. If she's been with him for that long it's natural if she fell for him.
She looks away from me and to the water fountain and smiles slightly.
Claire: You come home to see someone waiting for you and have what it feels like all the happiness in the world with them. What else could you ask for?
Ashton:... Seems right.
She looks at me and beams.
Claire: I'm sure you'll find someone special one day too.
As soon as those words leave her mouth, my heart sinks. She's way over me, isn't she... Telling me something like that with a smile. I only think of her unthoughtfulness, unaware of the fact that she had clenched her fists tightly to brace herself from the impact of her own words...