I think back on today's events. I got mad at Leah for no reason. What am I doing? Are all those years of anger management going to go waste?
After Claire broke up with me for the reason that 'an actor and journalist can never be together', something inside me snapped. I couldn't make sure if she was lying or not but it made me furious. I went against my family for her. I wanted to treasure her and give her a good life after becoming successful and she broke my heart for a petty reason like that in return?
Everyone and everything made me aggressive then. I realised that I shouldn't ruin my life for her, the person who was so cruel to me that she wouldn't even reply to my texts or calls and even completely disappeared from my life. I never knew what I did wrong but, I decided that I should move on. I packed my bags and left the Capital and went overseas where I got in touch with psychiatrists to help me with anger management and did small background roles that I got in stage plays. When I finally got the lead role, I was scouted by the agency I work under now. Then after 2 years, I got over my anger issues and made my debut in the film industry.
Even so, my anger problems got triggered as soon as I came back. I wonder how Claire's doing. I haven't heard about her since she broke up with me. I'm about to get up and reach for my phone in my pocket but stop myself. What am I doing? I was supposed to be over her by now. It's been 8 years and I'm still hung up on her, huh?
I've had girlfriends when I was overseas but I was just playing around. I was never interested in anyone of them. What have you done to me, Claire?
A while later, Leah gets me a suit and we head out to the venue. Even though I try not to, I can't help but I can't help but feel restless. Leah looks towards me through the rear view mirror and smiles.
Leah: Feeling nervous?
Ashton: ...! How did you know?
Leah: I've spent 3 years being your manager and you think I won't notice that you fiddle with your shirt's first button when you're nervous or restless?
I suddenly realize that I've been fiddling with my shirt's button without noticing it.
Ashton: I never knew I did.
I say, surprised and she chuckles. Seriously though, have I always done this? Hmm, I do remember losing the first button of my shirt a lot in highschool. Maybe it was because of this. The car pulls up at the hotel while I'm busy connecting the dots.
Leah: Now, off you go! I'll be waiting for you here. If you need anything, just shoot me a text.
Ashton: Gotcha.
I get of the car and the reporters standing outside start clicking pictures of me and asking me questions. I really don't feel like dealing with them right now. I ignore them and walk in.
I enter a lively room full of light, jazz playing in the background. I occasionally hear wine glasses clicking with each other for a toast. I look around and see popular actors, actresses, directors and producers. This world of glamour doesn't suit me well. I spot Derrick surrounded by some unfamiliar people and timidly approach him with a fake smile.
Ashton: Mr. Kal?
He turns to look at me when I call out his name. A smile spreads across his face.
Derrick: You came! Let me introduce you.
Derrick introduces me to some famous directors and sponsors. They occasionally give me compliments about my works and I return the favor.
After a while I go out to the balcony to get some fresh air. I should stand in the corner so someone doesn't come to talk to me. I take a deep breath as I lean against the railing. I can never get used to all this. I'm inwardly complaining to myself when I catch a glimpse of a woman's silhouette behind me.
I turn around to see a woman with short brown hair facing her back to me, her glimmering mint green dress complimenting her pale skin perfectly standing on the opposite end of the balcony. She looks like.... No, how could it be? Why am I comparing unkown women with her now? I quietly sigh and turn back so she doesn't notice me, but I can't help but feel they look similar.
The woman: I wish I could just get out of here....
She whispers this to herself. That voice!! There's no doubt! I whip my head around to look at her again.
Ashton: Claire....?