The court was soon called back to order and the proceedings followed rapidly after. Only one face was missing from the earlier group inside the council box. Zeus had not returned, but who would call out the king of gods for skipping such a trivial matter… a matter he'd already lost.
Arei tugged off his tie as soon as the door to their room was closed. He leaned his large frame against the closed door as his eyes followed Jos around the room. He watched as she decided between the three remaining bottles of wine he'd picked up their first night there. With a grunted chuckle, he pushed away from the door and walked over to the kitchen. He retrieved two glasses from the high kitchen shelves and set one on either side of her leaving her pinned between his arms. "You still seem upset."
Jos let out a low sigh as she turned in his arms and pressed her body against him. She buried her face in the soft cotton of his dress shirt as his arms left the counter and circled her waist. She let out a pleased moan, content in his warm embrace. "I'm glad that, at the very least, it is over… Though I can't believe they are willing to allow me to have a retrial for the other offenses."
Arei placed a kiss to the top of her head. "Yes… but are you going to go through with it?"
Jos blew out a huffed laugh. "No… I'm not…" She rested her head against his chest listening to the soothing beat of his heart. "I could never force Shelly to relive those painful memories no matter what the outcome would be for me."
Arei nodded as he tightened his arms around her shoulders. "You're too considerate for your own good… but that's why I love you so much."
She leaned back to meet his gaze. "You can't tell me you're willing to put her through that again."
Arei studied her as he contemplated her words. With a resigned sigh, he finally answered. "I suppose not… Though, I'll not lie. If your charges were worse or if there was more at stake, then I know there isn't anything I wouldn't do… regardless of who it hurt."
Jos frowned. "There is no punishment they could threaten that would force me to make her relive that trauma."
With a heavy sigh, he nodded. "I know…" He loosened his hold on her and brought one hand up to caress her face. His eyes studied her in a way only he could. He gently rubbed her temples. "Then what has you so worried still?"
Jos shrugged as she brought her hands up to his chest. She began fumbling with his buttons as she stumbled through the thoughts that had been badgering her all evening. "I'd expected it to go so much worse… it seems too good to be true, right now… I'm waiting for a call saying there was a mistake made and we need to come back in tomorrow."
Arei brought both hands to her face and gently forced her gaze up to his. "That's not going to happen. Even if you're not freed, your punishments have all but been forgotten. You have nothing left to worry about." He gave a chuckle as his eyes moved down to her ringed finger. "Well, almost nothing…" He sent her a playful grin, but his lips quickly turned down when he read her expression. "You're still against it?"
"No…" Jos muttered as she stared at the beautiful ring. He didn't reply, but she could feel his eyes burning into her as if he could read her mind… As if he could read her very soul. "Yes…" She said in a low whisper.
His hands fell from her face. One large hand clasped both of hers as the other worked to remove the ring. "Then let's forget about it… All of it… The engagement, the wedding… I'll be whatever you want me to be to you. If you want me as just a friend, it will hurt… but I can do that for you. Just don't ask me to go back to being a stranger."
Jos watched as he slipped the ring down her finger slowly as he spoke. Her brows furrowed. Her heart began to pound. A new worry settled in the pit of her stomach. "NO!" She cried out as she curled her fingers into a tight ball. Her eyes shot up to his. "You misunderstood me… Well, more like I didn't answer fully…" She blew out a frustrated breath. "I am against the rushed marriage… I don't want it. There's still so much we haven't worked through." She swallowed as her gaze moved to their clasped hands. "I want to enjoy what we have, the natural regrowth of our feelings… getting to know each other fully… all of it…" She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his knuckles. "I don't know when I'll be ready for us to marry… but I know it's something that I'd like eventually…"
Arei released his hold on her and took a step back. He retrieved one of the wine glasses as he leaned against the opposite counter. "Is it because you want me… or simply want marriage and protection? Would the individual matter?"
Jos's heart fell. "You misunderstand what I'm trying to say. You… you're manipulating my words…"
Arei shook his head. "I don't think I have misunderstood, nor have I manipulated or twisted anything you've done or said to this point." His eyes moved down her length in slow calculation before moving back to her troubled gaze. "I've allowed you all the freedom possible through this entire thing. I've given you 500-plus years to decide if I was what you wanted. I'll admit a bit of our relationship has been forced… but not by me. I've stepped back, I've let you leave when you want." He was silent as he took a long sip of his wine. "You continue telling me that you don't want me while you dig your nails into my heart and refuse to release it." He shrugged as he set his glass down and took a step forward. He placed his index finger under her chin and gently pressed her mouth closed. "I don't care. As I've told you before, use me as you need. I'm here in whatever regard you need me to be… but don't lie to me… not right now, not about this." She was about to make a biting remark when his finger shifted to her lips. "Do not use the excuse that I have not been completely honest with you in the past. I'm standing here in front of you right now asking. Do you love me? Is it me you truly want to be with?" When she tried to answer, he stopped her once again. "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. I'll be here with you to help in any way that I can until you no longer need me regardless of your response… as long as it is a truthful one." He let his finger slowly slip away from her lips as he stepped away from her once again.
Tears burned Jos's eyes. "Why are you asking me this?"
"You're an incredibly intelligent person, Jos. You know exactly why I'm asking this."
"I'm not sure what you want from me." She held his gaze, but his emotions seemed to be hidden from her and his gaze was more calculating than loving at the moment. Jos turned away. Her hand trembled as she took her glass and began drinking heavily from it. Her hand shook as she refilled the glass and took another long drink.
Arei stepped forward once again and took her glass. "Perhaps we should have a seat first, especially if you plan to finish an entire bottle by yourself."
He balanced both glasses in one hand as he snatched two of the bottles from the counter with the other. He didn't look back as he walked over to the sofa and settled into the soft, white leather. He didn't follow her with his eyes as she walked through to the living room area, instead he waited in stoic patience.
Jos's heart thudded against her chest at the indifference he was showing her at this very moment. Her legs felt weak against her weight, and her body felt heavy as if it would simply melt into nonexistence the second she sat. "I…"
He arched a brow with a slight tilt of his head as he waited for her to speak.
Jos couldn't formulate a sentence. His intense gaze was wrecking what little bit of nerve she had left after the past few days. Her attention moved to the wine glass, but as soon as she moved to get it, he pulled it toward himself. She met his gaze and, involuntarily, jerked back at the intensity she found there.
"Up until now, I've told you I love you regardless, I'll wait regardless of the time. I've always told you I'll be here no matter what… waiting… waiting until you can love me, accept me…" He tilted his head. "What if I were to say no more? What if I jerked away the comfort blanket that is my love for you? What would you do? Would you be upset?"
Tears blurred her vision. "Of course, I would! Why would you ever think such a thing?"
"Why? I'd think at this point that would be obvious."
Jos furrowed her brows in confused irritation. "Is this because I don't want to marry you immediately?"
He took a generous drink from his glass as he sat back, sinking into the sofa. "Do you believe that is what I want? How I feel?"
Frustrated tears streamed down her cheeks. "I don't know?! How could I?"
His eyes burned into hers. "I've been very clear on what I want, what I don't want, and how I've felt. I've been clear on these matters from the very beginning… Instead of talking about things and working them out with me, you prefer to run away… you always have. Your maturity has not improved in these 500 years. You still have the emotional maturity of a youth. Perhaps that is what makes it so difficult for you to control your shifted form…"
More tears streamed down her face. "How could you say that to me? After everything that's happened… why now?"
He blew out a grunted breath. "Because of everything that has happened."
She wiped her cheeks. "I don't understand."
Arei forced himself to remain stoic. "I need to know I'm what you truly want… in the end… once all this is over and you are a freed person. I need to know you're not just playing along until it's no longer to your benefit, or you find something else more convenient." A muscle in his jaw jerked. "I need to know you're not just agreeing to all this and then planning to walk out of my life without a word for another 500-plus years."
Jos shook her head furiously. Her sobs were coming out harder as his words hit a raw nerve. There was no denying her actions until now, her uncertainty, her hesitation… She shot to her feet and flung herself into his lap, throwing her arms around his neck. "Stop please…" She pleaded as she sobbed against his neck, her arms tightening more as she snuggled closer. "I love you… I love you."
He forced her arms loose and held her away enough to meet her tear-filled gaze. "Then why, Jos? Why continue running? Why continue to repeat our relationship's most fatal mistakes?"
Jos shook her head. "I don't know… I… I'm just scared…"
He released his tight hold on her arms and cupped her face. "Of what, kitten? I can't truly be here for you if I don't understand what is driving these fears. I'm well aware it is fear driving your words, and your actions… but I can't understand the fears themselves. I've done everything you've asked but still, you're pushing me away." He waited patiently, but she did not reply. "Is this still about us having children? Can you honestly still what to have a child of mine after all I've told you?" His hands caressed her cheeks as he brushed away the tears. "I'm half fearful to adopt, but if you truly want children that bad then I'll gladly oblige. I do not want to father a child, however."
Jos nodded. "I know… I understand now… I do…"
"But?" He searched her eyes for the words she was not saying.
Jos squeezed her eyes closed as more tears trailed down her cheeks. "I'm just so tired of not feeling like I have a choice in my own life…" Her words came out as barely a whisper, ripping at her heart as they did, but she forced herself to continue. "At this point, I can't even tell if it's what I truly want or simply what I've subconsciously convinced myself is my only choice." She shook her head against his hold. "I know I love the Arei of the past… and though you've changed in so many ways… I know I still love the you that you are now… but…" Her eyes finally opened to meet his, pleading with him to understand her without having to go on.
He didn't say a word. Instead, he simply held her and waited for her to continue.
"I just want it to be my decision… and mine alone…" She finally whispered.
He held her gaze for several long seconds. "But it's not. It's not just your decision. You're not alone either. It is both our lives… both of our happiness at stake." He pressed his forehead against hers. "I can't tell you what to do. I can't make you stay, and I won't force you to marry me. If the courts drop the matter, then so will I, and it seems likely they will… however, Father probably won't. We need to be ready for that. We need to be able to stand united on whatever decision we make." He pulled back and held her gaze once again. "I can't do that. I can't be confident in anything I say about us… anything I say to you. I'm constantly walking on eggshells; afraid the least wrong word will send you fleeing into the night… leaving me lost and searching… I can't do that again, Jos… I won't. All the bullshit aside, all the bad history, everything… I love you too much to lose you. My heart won't make it through you leaving without a word again." He traced her jaw with his thumb, studying every line of her face, every detail. "Promise me… as long as you wear that ring… you'll come to me first from now on. You'll confide in me when you're having problems. You'll tell me when I'm being an insensitive jerk." He chuckled. "And I'll tell you when you're being a crazy bitch."
Her brows knotted, and she gave his arm a smack. "I'm not crazy… mostly…"
A half grin spread across his lips as he leaned closer. "Then only a bitch?" He pressed his lips teasingly to hers.
"Your crazy bitch…" She whispered as she kissed him softly back.
His smile widened. "And I'm your insensitive jerk." He held her tighter, taking her lips more fully and drinking deeply from their wine-stained sweetness. "I love you, Jos. I always have, and I always will."