The first letter I wrote.

Dear love.

How didn't you realized how much I loved you. I have been in love with you for the past five years.

And now you're engaged. And I'm still here, loving you, hoping you would realize.

Why can't you love me? How could you f*uck me on new years, and 5 months after you're engaged?

Am I really that stupid? I thought I meant something to you. I really did.

Why don't you love me like I love you?

Was it all pretend?

All our moments?

Remember that day in the forest? You spun me around, we laughed, you lost your cigarettes but I made you smile so you forgot about them and went with me on the swing.

What about that day when we spent all day at the caste. You wanted to show me the view from the tower. I had on a skirt and there were nettles there, so you carried me so that I didn't burn my legs.

Or when I said to you that I loved oranges? The next time we saw each other you brought me one.

How is that not love?

I know I never told you how I felt. And maybe you didn't know, but ....

I love you so much it hurts. I'm obsessed. I can't stop thinking about you.

We started fooling around five years ago, we stopped so many times, but we always found a way back to each-other.

For gods sake I cheated on my boyfriend for you, then I realized that I never stopped being in love with you. I didn't stand him touching me, so I broke up with him. Partly for you.

I hoped we could... I hope we would.

But you just got engaged. I guess I'm still in shock and that's why this letter wont make sense.

You seem happy and I can't stop smiling when I see a photo of you with her, because you look really happy.

This must be true love. Even though it's killing me, I'm still so happy for you in that moment. Even if I'm crying after. But I can't help the depression that consumed me tonight. It'll be a hard night.

I'm already crying but I love you so much I can't help it.

I love you.

I'll always wait for you.

I'm yours.

Why don't you love me?