I woke up the next morning in the bed, but on top of the covers, as far away from Rhett as I could get. How could I have slept next to him normally? He was still asleep and I could get up quietly, until I heard his phone ding, 5 times in a row. I was worried it woukd wake him, but it didnt. I woudn't dare check his phone, if he caught me he would probably hit me. Plus its not a healthy thing to do in a relationship. Even if he was toxic, I wouldnt be. I ignored it and continued to get my clothes together, trying to hurry before he wakes up, then my phone rang. 'its fucking 7 am' I still had a headache from the night before. I aswered the phone
"hello???" I wanted to sound annoyed, but had to stay quiet.
"yea, is Rhett there?" It was a FEMALE, calling my phone for MY boyfriend??
I was kind of mad, and I had to pause for a moment before I answered. "Uhm this is his girlfriend?! why??"
I wanted to yell...
The other end went silent but I heard someone in the background say 'is it her??? hang up!!!' another FEMALE. The line clicked and the call ended. Thats when all the wheels in my head started turning, and I looked over to his phone...was that her maybe? Was she blowing his phone up? Who was it? I began to walk towards his side of the bed 'what are you hiding rhett?' I was putting peices together in my head, and I always do this thing where I make up the craziest scenarios.... 'No. No. No. No.' I turned around before I could even reach for his phone and I left the room, and began cooking breakfast, something to distract me. Females....why all of the sudden are females calling his phone early as hell? Were they the ones texting him? Why did they call my phone if they didnt want to reach me? My thoughts ran wild and my daydreams were wilder. I had to have some kind of answers, I was not one to let things go so easily. Rhett would never give it to me straight...maybe I should I have checked his phone? Either way, I should not bring this up to him. I decided to try and let it go and get ready for work again, I had the early shift. 10-2, 4 hours just to stock up and open. I needed this easy day. It seemed nice out, maybe Beth would want to go to the park? She might have some good insight on the FEMALES that called. Although, I dont think B is the right person to discuss my problems with Rhett too. Maybe she could bring Dylan... I almost forgot. I met and amazing soul last night named Dylan..... My thoughts went crazy when I remembered Dylan, looking at my undressed body I couldnt help but think what his would look like.... wait, what am I thinking?? ugh. I didnt have time to process any of this properly, I finished getting dressed, ate my breakfast, and left my daydream hanging for after work.
I spent so much time trying to cover my face that I had to rush to get to the bar on time. You could tell I was hurt. Some spots on my face were still bruised, and the gash on my eyebrow probably should have gotten stitches, but it was too late for worries now, just face the day.
I had an easy, smooth day and my manager decided to let me go even earlier, just because it was so 'nice out.' Her name was angela and she was a very average woman. Height, Weight, her brown eyes were even pretty average. Nothing about her really stood out, except her heart. She was the only other person other than me who knew Rhett and I fought. She never told me she knew, but she did. I never asked questions, and neither did she. But over the last couple months, shes kept me from my suicidal thoughts. She knew he went pretty far last night and said "go enjoy the sun, think about life darling." she gave me her most sincere hug, she pulled away and looked deep into my eyes like my mother would, "Know your worth. You are loved." She shoo'd me out of the door. We never said a whole lot to each other, she was a very quiet person. Sometimes I just dont want to talk, I'm glad angela is the person in my life who just knows. Sometimes thats all I need.
The day was nice, warm, sunny and clear, and My Rich Bitch Beth was coming to bask in the park with me. Today would be a good day, i was determined to make the best of it after yesterday.
I was a little disappointed to see it was just Beth, I was hoping to see Dylan, but why? To apologize and explain last night?- shit...how was I going to explain last night to him? Why would I have to apologize? Who is he to me and who am I to him? all these questions, Uhhh all this overthinking is gonna be the death of me.
But Beth was all alone, so it was time to unwind and soak up some sun and Beth. Sometimes I need someone who knows, sometimes I need someone annoying. Although she looked mad, PISSED, even... I wonder why?
As she got closer she seemed to pick up the pace.... I could tell the closer she got the angrier she was. Oh...my face....she sees my face, my fucked uo face us pissing her off. I hung my head in shame as she walked right up to me and pointed to my cuts and bruises, "Did HE fucking do this to you?! I swear to god M, Dont Lie to me!!!" She just stopped and stood there waiting for my answer, she was silent, stiff and her arms were crossed. I was too. I couldnt say yes, she would try and handle it, and she would be next. Could I convice her I just fell or something? "No!!!! God no, B." I wanted to say yes, but it would be like feeding a fire gasoline. "B, I got too close to the door last night and when I shut it I smacked my face," Fucking lame excuse, I tild everyone else I got into a fight, but B wouldmt buy it. "I was a little drunk.." I shrugged hoping that excuse would be good enough. I tried laughing it off with a cheap smile.
She bought some of it but I knew she smelled my BS. I was relieved. I knew I would have to tell her the truth eventually, but this bought me some time. Even though I know that she knew, I wanted to get out of my situation before I told anyone about it. She casually dropped it and we set up blankets out in the main lawn of the park and just layed in the sun. We used to do this almost every day we had the chance to in high school. I have no idea how long we were there, how long we talked, but I needed her company. No guys, no work, no Rhett. Just B, being B.
"So did you meet Dylan last night?" She turned to face me, she watched my face for a reaction, any reaction. Now she was trying to put some pressure on it.
"uhm, yea. Cool guy, I guess. What about him?" doing good, keep playing it totally cool.
She was quiet for a moment and I slowly turned to look at her. Based on her face, I did NOT play it cool enough, my face was burning and this stupid smirk on my face-
"Cool guy, huh? You know your blushing? I said his NAME and your face went red! Did you talk? Did you hangout? Did you, HANGout.. if you know what I mean.." She started to talk faster and began to get excited at the idea of me and Dylan, and she wanted all the DETAILS.
"NO! God b. Just no. We just talked, I made us drinks, he showed me around the house," She looked like a little girl hearing about cinderella for the first time. Wide eyed and in awe of me and Dylans few hours together. "We just talked, chilled. When Rhett called, he took me home and that was that." I accidentally let a grin go at the last part, hoping she wouldnt notice. 'I hoped you would have brought him dumbass' I should have said.
"AWEEHHHH, M!!!!" She yelled loud enough for the whole park to hear, she was disappointed "Why did you leave? Fucking Rhett always messing my shit up..."
I stopped her. "What did he mess up? YOUR shit? B..." she was meddling again. Last time she kept setting me up, she almost broke me and Rhett up. although it was years ago senior year...
"Well I met Dylan while trying to get to Toni's house that night and he seemed like your type, so I kind of set it up? I know it was shady, but dont hate me! please!" She kept talking frantically trying to apologize.
I felt that stupid grin come back on my face, I wanted to say thank you without letting her know its okay to meddle. "Im...not mad..." I was "Im...kinda, well... I hope I run into him again sometime." I looked at her and with a more serious tone I said "He is only a friend. Rhett cannot know. Nothing will ever happen between Dylan and I while I'm with Rhett. Please, B...I--"
Beth grabbed my face, and touched the cut lightly. "Your worth more than this. And Im not rushing anything, you can tell me everything when you are ready. I just want you to be happy again, M." She pulled away and we both had tears in our eyes. "I want you to take your time and find your happy again. Im not stupid and I know the things he does to you....I wish you would talk to me about these things." My world stopped for a moment, she knew? Was it so obvious? Im glad she knew but why didnt she say something sooner? I love beth..
Now Me and Beth were sobbing our eyes out in a public park, drawing in a tiny crowd.
We wiped out tears away and she said "Ill help you HOWEVER you need it. Just please, dont leave him when its too late....Im always here and I love you, M."
I felt relief. Like a pressure was taken off me. I wasnt sure of my feelings, my next move, or of anything really. But one thing I knew was back that I hadnt had in years, my confidence. I could do anything I needed to, I could even leave Rhett and start working on myself again. Although I still wanted to give him one last chance to go to therapy or something with me. I still loved that man, and I know time can fix anything and If he wanted to fix it, I would be all his. Time has always been on our side, we've shared 6 years together.
"Thank you B. I love you too." We kept talking, mostly about Dylan.
I admitted I felt a connection with him, but I also admitted my plan with Rhett, if He was to go to therapy and I would go to counseling with him, then I wanted to make things work. She seemed a little disappointed and said "Whatever you choose, I'll stand behind you. My door is always open."
We eventually went to eat, then went our seperate ways and I went home to try and fix my relationship. With a clear mind I knew I could do this. For the first time in months, I knew I could face Rhett.
Luckily for me, it was empty and Rhett wasnt home. I had time to clean and plan my approach. I didn't want to just attack him with the idea of therapu and counseling. As I cleaned the house the hours went by, It was dark outside and Rhett should be home soon.
I was finishing putting up his clothes when I noticed a duffle bag in the closet and it was just laying there wide open, I looked down for a second, and paused. Thats not what I think it is... I bent down and stared at the contents. The bag was full. of.....MONEY. For a couple minutes thats the only thing I can think... 'Money'. Money.....my heart shattered, I could practically hear the beat stop in my ears. I fell to my knees, lost my breath, and this feeling of rage filled my body, this hurtful, angry, rage. He had screamed at me, he pulled my hair and pushed me around and called me every name in the books because of MONEY for MONTHS. He had a stash the whole time...maybe 10,000$. So many thoughts ran through my mind, where did he get this? how long has he had it? have we been fighting for nothing? He really let me think I was failing, that we were failing....Looking back at things, this makes a little more sense. I went to bed HUNGRY and BROKE some nights, but he...he never struggled. It was ME who was struggling. He had no job, how did he get this much money? I wanted to come up with a logical, legal solution, but all I could manage to say was "WHAT THE FUCK." Once the words left my mouth I heard the door come open and multiple people entered my house, I heard men and women in the living room and It took me a second to process what I wanted to do. He made me feel a lot of ways over the years, but this new feeling he gave me...was something I didnt know I could feel.
Rage. Anger. Betrayal. Whatever it was, made my brain stop and my body burned. I couldnt think. I wanted to loose my mind on him like he did to me all those times, I wanted to be the toxic one for once. I knew his dirty fucking secret and he was not going to win anymore, we were done. I grabbed two huge wads of money, one in each hand to show him what I found, and stormed into the living room where Rhett was standing with 2 girls, and 1 other guy. Hmph. His friend, and even a girl for each them. I thought I was mad then, but now... I couldnt even see, this burning feeling just got more intense, It made my ears ring and my stomach was hurting. I bet these were the bitches in the phone. They didnt notice me standing there and I took this moment to draw in a deep breath before I let the rage out of me in calmest way I knew how then I growled,
"RHETT ANDREW CALLHOUN. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!" He looked up, shocked and wide-eyed, like a deer in headlights. I threw the money into his face and he knew he was caught, he looked defeated. "DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING DONE WE ARE?? I FUCKING HATE..." Then something caught my eye and stopped my 'fuck you I hate you' speech in my throat.
On my grandmother's Oak coffee table, which was one of the only things he let me keep from my family, were 4 lines of cocaine, one already done, 3 ready to go, I knew how this worked. Someone was blown out of their minds at this moment, and with me and Rhett both being recovering addicts, this was dangerous. I felt tears rolling down my face but I wasnt crying. I was hurting, I was scared. I wanted those drugs, and we both have come too far to be around them. The only thing I wanted to see was his face, I wanted to seem him hurt, or sad, or regretful, but when my eyes met his, he was angry.
ANGRY. WHY IS HE ANGRY?!
He stayed facing me, but told his company, "guys. go out to the hall for a few. NOW." he was mad. the quiet kind of mad.
they all scattered for the door without any questions. it was just him, and I.
He was mad, but so was I. I was fed up with him and after everything these past 2 days, I decided he wouldnt win. Not again. I was going to stand my ground and put him in his place. I was going to end this with him and, well...I dont know what to do after that...
"Rhett....how... how could you--we were clean..." I was being sincere, soft. Hoping this was a hollywood romance where I bring him to his senses, soft, but firm with my words.
"No, Mirna. How could YOU?! Going through my shit??? Why arent you at work?!" He was demanding answers, he started to walk towards me, his fists balled up viciously.
"I was cleaning, I wanted to talk to you about us, and--"
He grabbed me, really hard by the waist and said "So you think you can go through my stuff?-" he began laughing "and US? what about us?? your not going anywhere?"
I was furious. We are done. He will no longer have this control over me again,
"Yes Rhett.....IM DONE!!!!" I managed to shove him away from me, which only pissed him off, but he just made me angry too. The burning feeling keeps getting stronger, and I feel almost high off this anger "WHY HAVE YOU BEEN TREATING ME LIKE SHIT IF YOUVE HAD MONEY?!" I was mad crying. A broken-mad crying. I began to feel week, my chest was tight and my breathing was hard. An anxiety attack, I would fight it as long as I could, I was trying to stand my ground.
"Treating YOU like shit?!" He pinned me against the wall and I noticed he had cocaine on his face and realized...He had done the line...he was high, thats why he was so angry, He wasnt hurting me because of money, he was hurting me because he was high. The story was starting to come together and make sense. I remember these days, I never thought it would come this far. I thought we were both clean..together. But it was too late, I didnt care anymore. At this moment I realized I didn't love Rhett anymore.
"I was treating you nicely till right now!!! NOW?! NOW IM GONNA TREAT YOU LIKE SHIT!!!!!" There was nothing but hate and fire in his cocaine fuelled eyes.
He laughed and started beating me, punching me like I was an enemy. Grabbing me like I was a doll and kicking me when I tried crawling away. That cheap tile floor was starting to feel wonderful, I was growing tired. I screamed for help, But I dont think anyone was coming. I dont think I could have screamed loud enough, I was in too much pain. He kept hitting me for what seemed like hours.
Eventually I gave up, The burning sensation was gone and I was numb, I couldnt feel him beating me, not anymore, but I just let him.
I began to feel dizzy, and weightless. Everything around me was dark and cold. I hoped he kept beating me... I hoped he beat me until I was dead, because this is not how I want to live anymore.
The next thing I remember, I woke up facing the bright white flourescent lights of a hospital, I only knew it was a hospital due to its distinct smell. I moved my head around to check if I was right, and yep. I was in a hospital room. That 'clean death' smell gives it away every time. My head started pounding and spinning as I tried looking around more...I hoped Rhett wasnt here. The thought of him makes me jump and I let out a yelp- Some pretty blond girl ran up to me- things were still blurry and I was trying to regain my thoughts. "M!!!! GIRL!!!!" it was Beth, she was here, that shrill ass voice, She was always here, I gave her a soft hug and heard another voice,
"Beth.... maybe not yell right now hun?" Who was that....it was a man... I jerked my head over to the familiar voice and I see... Dylan? and Toni? Toni looked awkward like I was a victim and Dylan gave me a 'welcome back' smile. He looked like he hadn't slept much. This is humiliating, I wonder if they knew what happened, Obviously they did. Beth cant keep quiet.
"Shit....Im just happy... shes AWAKE!!!" Beth said between tears and she couldn't refrain from giving me the biggest, most painful hug ever. I yelped again, She backed off and let me put myself together.
"Beth...what...happened?" I knew what happened, but I didnt want to believe it. I was struggling to breathe. My ribs hurt when I breathe"Why does everything hurt???"
She looked up to the guys, which was still humiliating for me by the way. "Ill let the doctor talk to you. just relax. Toni will go get a nurse." She nodded and Toni left right away, he was relieved to get out of there.
The room fell silent as we waited for the doctor. We all sat there in the awkwardness. I knew I got into a fight, but I couldn't remember exactly what, or with who, so I went through my day again, I went to work after we fought, I decided it was the time to either leave or stay with Rhett, I hungout with Beth, I was cleanin---"THE MONEY!" I shouted. I started to get angry as the memories rushed back. The burning feeling returned, The drugs, the sketchy friends, The beating... I remember the blow that hurt the most. I reached down to my ribs,
"Dont, love...its tender there." Dylan got halfway up, concerned about me poking at my own body. "its broken," he kind of did a thin lipped smile and sat back down. My eyes couldnt leave his....I relived that moment, in the split second he told me it was broken.
"Rhett kicked the shit out of me there...." I said as I turned away from his face and I began to cry again...the soft crying. I couldnt cry any harder, trust me I wanted to, it just hurt.
They both stayed silent and let me shed my tears. I knew the answer to my next question but I wanted to know,
"Beth...did he put me in this hospital???" I looked at her, pointed to my bed and bruises.
Dylan quietly got up to leave the room, he was sweet and left us to share our own moment, although he seemed a little angry, like he didnt want to know the answer either. I wouldnt want to be in this awkward situation if I were him, so I dont blame him.
She came and sat on the bed and held me and we both sobbed to each other, saying nothing only sobbing. We heard a knock on the door and before anyone could come in beth screamed
"ONE SECOND!" and with that shrill voice my head was pounding, but I was happy about it.
"Listen, M. this is a lot to put on you really quick, and your gonna have to think fast." She was holding onto my shoulders and looking deep into my eyes, Ive never seen her give a begging look to someone, but she wanted me to desperately hear her words. "Police officers need to know if you want to press charges, if you DO you can get a restraining order and be safe from him, but if you dont press charges, they cant do anything to him, or for you. So you need to decide what you want to do, they will be here soon, I wanted to give you a heads up so you can think about it for a few." she gave me a hug and whispered "you can have my extra room in the house, I love you no matter what." She rushed to finish the sentence as the door opened and the doctor walked in, looking at the charts, he seemed less concerned with me.
"Well miss Mirna, you had a concussion, but as the gentleman outside was telling me, you seem to remember everything?"
I shook my head in agreement. I remember. I remembered almost everything, I wished I didn't.
"and how are you feeling? sick at all?" he was quickly jotting his notes down.
"Im fine...just hurting. why does my rib right here hurt so bad?" I pointed to the heavily bandaged area.
He moved around a little awkwardly and said,
"Well, he kicked you multiple times, and cracked your ribs, but when he stepped on you, he broke a couple." he sat down next to me and got a little more serious, a little more caring and said, "The officers want to speak with you, do you know what you want to do?" I knew what I needed to do, was leave him. But I was scared. He could find me, I knew he could, but I also knew what needed to be done for myself.
I took a deep breath and began to cry, again. I dont think I really stopped crying since I remembered what he did to me. I simply nodded my head and he said
"Ill send them in, we will run some tests and hopefully you can go home either tonight or early tomorrow okay sweetie?" he grabbed my hand and said "You are strong, and you can be brave too."
I gave him a smile and leaned in for a hug, he hugged me back gently and i said "thank you." he Wrote some numbers from the machine down and left the room.
Beth didnt ask me what I was going to do. She just sat there quietly stroking my hand. The tension was thick, but my decision was easy. He beat me into the hospital, he lied to me and was using me. He beat me and abused me, because of the drugs. He was probably cheating and I was done with him. I loved him endlessly and this is how hes treated me. He opened a chapter of our lives that I want shut forever, a dirty, scary place... So of course I was pressing charges. I was going to file for a reatraining order and I wanted to know the second he got arrested, I needed to be safe and I needed to be free of him. What hes done, is unforgivable to me.
Beth was my rock and my crying buddy until the cops arrived, They were calm and collected. When He was caught he would be arrested with no bond, as this was not the only charge he was wanted for apparently. I didnt ask what else he was wanted for, I didnt care. I stopped loving him once I saw the drugs, this was the point I stopped caring. The cops assured me that He would not get close to me again and they were setting up security and regular patrols around Beths house, Where I said I'd be staying now. I could have no contact with him and if he contacted me I was told to call the police. They each gave me a card with a couple numbers on them and left.
Toni and Dylan came back into the room seemed to bring a new vibe in the room with them, the energy wasnt scared or sad anymore, it was calm, happy. I was relieved once again. I was different, I felt something in me break and I was free. FREE. I looked at Dylan and he was gazing at me in a kind, sweet way. For once, I was excited to have a guy look at me. I could think about him without clothes and not feel guilty.
I wasnt going to just live to go to bed anymore, I would live to do everything Rhett kept me from doing. I would start singing again, maybe dancing. I could work less and party more with Beth. Those were my 3 passions. I could learn to love again with Dylan. and Toni...I dont really know where he fits in all this but I know this, When my heart was at its emptiest, these people came and showed me that they could fill my cold empty heart. Rhett wasnt my life...he was my past, just another dirty chapter, and these people, anyone I allowed in my life after this, would be the people I needed. They would be the type of people who would help me and support anything I do, they would never give up on me. I would not allow negativity into my life anymore. I would not allow anyone else to hurt my heart, or me. This would be my life. Happiness. And I was determined to decide it for myself.