We went back to the castle and Aeron was taken care off by the castle's healer magi.
The still room was drowning in a restless atmosphere.
Mama and Papa stood right in front of me as I just stared back at them, almost unblinking.
I don't want to miss any reaction they will make
...for finding out that their only daughter is a dark magus.
Will they throw spiteful words?
Will they make me an exile?
I wonder...
No one else was inside that room but us.
No one to interrupt the suffocating silence.
I may seem calm on the outside
but my heart beating crazy deep inside me.
"I wield dark magic... that's why they came after me. They simply want me to join them." I explained, finally breaking the silence. "I'm a... dark magus, Mama... Papa."
I watch Mama's eyes swells as it showed fear and yet despair while watching me.
Her legs gave up on her and she almost collapsed
But Papa was able to caught her up and assisted her to stand back up again.
"Since when..." was what Papa able to reply.
What does he mean since when?
Since I was born, I suppose.
What should say?
"I..."
Papa stormed to one side and rakes his hair aback, I can see his jaws tightening as he turned his back on me. "It's when they kidnapped you! They taught you how to wield dark arts and—!"
"You're wrong!!!" I cut him off.
He glances at me.
"I'm born with it."
"PREPOSTEROUS!!!! I never gave birth to a..." Mama halted and bit her lips. "Aerra, come here, my darling. We will look for a healer to help you out of that element. We will find a cure. We will ask my brother and..."
"You think it's impossible..." I blinked back my tears. "Like I'm ill and needs help?"
"We can give you all the help you will need," Papa says now, walking towards me. "But for now, we must dye your hair to white and we will find an alchemist to help you change the color of your eyes."
I stepped aback, "The workers by the farm and orchards already saw me." I said, "I let them feast their eyes on who I really am"
"THAT'S NOT THE REAL YOU!!!" Papa shouted, his voice echoed around the room.
The outburst made Mama begin to cry from behind him. She can't even look at me in the eyes anymore.
Is my eyes that scary?
It always hurts me to see Mama cry.
The sound of her shattering voice kills me like a knife stabbed deep in my heart,
I clawed at my chest,
It feels so heavy and congested.
"Your powers have not awakened yet, Aerrandria. You simply learned to wield a dark element because the mercenary taught it to you! It can be forgotten." argued Papa, no humor is seen from his gaze as he watched me, head to toe. I can see him cringe ever so subtly.
"When I was young, I always dreamt of dark things." I closed my eyes and began to explain. "Something inside me is beckoning. Like an endless charade, I never understood my nightmares. But then, it slowly progressed and as far as I began to see visions" I opened my eyes back and saw both Mama and Papa listening with both brows furrowed. "Even before I saw Faram from the party, those vision already began... I saw that... me and my brother, facing each other someday in a battlefield..."
"What are you trying to say..." Papa utters in a low hoarse voice, almost in a broken whisper.
"I have known for so long, Papa. I'm not going to become the revered young Lady like you all hoped I would be. From all the dreams, black out and visions... it's so clear who I really am. Who I will become..."
"NO—! STOP IT! You're just confused!!! Dark magi aren't born, they are created. Bad people who seeks for dark elements are those that become..." Mama interjected, but I cut her off
"And what if I did sought for the dark element? Would that make me a bad person? Am I a bad person now in your eyes, Mama? Can I not be your daughter anymore?"
The tears I held back escaped from the corners of my eyes.
Mama clasp her hands on her mouth, shock and yet upset, as she cried and cried with tear blurred eyes, while I waited for her answer.
But she didn't respond.
And it hurts more,
because her silence can mean so many things.
She simply looked away, holding on to her sobs as she concealed it from behind her hands.
"Aerrandria, you are our daughter. That will never change." Papa kneels down in one leg in front of me and gently lays both his hands on my shoulder. "But we need to rid you off that dark element. It's dangerous. People will think you're cursing these lands. We just want to protect you, understand?"
I bit my lips as I saw Papa's eyes began to swell now.
"Whatever happens, I will protect you, my princess. Papa will never turn his back on you. Do you understand me?" His tone is more assertive this time but his voice is wavering.
I nodded fervently.
My own tears were no longer mine to control.
Papa pulls me to his arms and embraced me. "We will find a way for you, my love. Papa will make sure you will live a beautiful and perfect life. I promise this...." I can feel the loud beating heartbeat on Papa's chest as he held me tighter, I wrapped my hands around him and hid my face on the burrows of his wide shoulders.
I swallowed hard to clear the lump in my throat as I raised my head up and stared at Papa's tear soaked face while he pats my head gently. "You're my little princess, and we have yet created a perfect Dukedom for you and your brother. So just stay put and Papa will fix everything for you..." He glances at Mama, "for my lovely wife, for your brother, and for the people. These lands will be our home and for the next generations to come." This time, he pokes my nose and manages to smile. Clearing his voice as he calls out to Mama.
Mama walks to us and sat on her heels in front of me, "We will overcome these ordeal, together..." Papa says. Mama nods and hugged me. Papa seals that embrace as he wrapped his big arms around us. "—as a family."
I shut my eyes tight and a vision flashed.
I began to cry my heart out
embracing them back...
not out of happiness
but for seeing a vision.
It's the one that will happen in the castle library.
The last part...
I finally saw,
clear as the day...
That the one holding the cane,
laying on the puddle of blood next to it,
and staring lifeless in thin air
—is Papa.
And beside him...
is Mama, whose eyes were swollen with tears,
closed shut with the agony as her lips parted open.
Her final words will be my name.
While my hands will be soaked from their blood.
And so...
as I stood back up straight to look at them in their eyes and smile to both of them,
and as Mama wiped my cheeks dry while combing the side of my head through her gentle fingers,
and Papa kissing my forehead...
I knew then—
that I really have to leave.
For them to live on.
••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••
I stood alone in the middle of the courtyard.
The temperature were that of the winters.
It was cold and yet peaceful.
I stared blankly at the tree that exist solemnly alone in this entire courtyard.
It was still lush green and the flower bed under it were still just as beautiful as the day we played out here when we were kids.
Aeron, Levi and me.
We played a tag game I called 'Fire and Ice' from back then.
And I intentionally turned myself as the villain to assure no one gets upset.
In the end, we all had fun.
Such a beautiful memory.
I wonder what Levi will do if he finds out I'm a dark elemental user.
I bet he caught the news about what happened here.
And surely, he will storm in to check on us sooner or later.
But...
I won't be here by then.
I sighed,
caressing the hairpin he gave me.
I hope he forgives me someday.
Surely, he will find a better fiancée than me.
Someone who won't stain his reputation for wielding dark arts.
Geez.
Why does wielding the dark element matter too much in this world anyway?
Oh, right.
I need to find the Sage too.
"I knew I'll find you here."
A familiar voice broke the silence.
Sound of footsteps behind me is getting closer.
I honestly don't know what to tell...
...or what to say to him.
To Eriol.
He—
He's the first one ever who never looked at me indifferently.
"It's dark and cold out in here, don't just linger around in a depressive place just because you're a dark magus!" He says in a cheerful tone. "It's over kill for your image!" He chuckles.
I just looked down blankly at the ground.
What have I thought about Isera back then?
Ahh yes...
People can't trust what they can't explain.
Eriol is one person I can't decipher.
That's why I can't trust him.
And I don't understand myself for it.
Suddenly, I felt his back leaning against mine lightly, standing still behind me as I kept my head down.
"You made up your mind.
You're... leaving, aren't you?"
"...!"
My eyes grew wide at his words.
How did he figured it out?
Am I that obvious?
"I understand... I know there are things you need to take care of. Things you need to search on your own..."
I pursed my lips in a hard line.
"So umm... good luck!" He concluded.
I nodded once.
"Thanks..." I murmured, unsure.
Suddenly, I felt him step away.
I was about to turn around
But his arms appeared on each of my side,
wrapping me in an tight embrace as he stood still behind me.
My body automatically froze.
His warm yet shaking breath grazes over my nape as he lays his head down on my shoulder.
"If you've gone tired... or simply can't take it anymore—
Just come back home... and I'll carry all the burden off your shoulders for you..."
In one loud exhale, his quiet sobs became apparent.
And for some reason, I felt like melting.
This must be the first time I was hugged from behind by a boy...
I don't know how to react...
With breath emitting like puffs of cloud against the numbing cold air, I blinked
and saw single white flake floating down before my eyes.
I glance up at the pale sky above us, and felt the snow fall on my face
Though faint and almost unrecognizable,
I realized the heavens was in a brink of dawn.
And it wasn't the usual starry dark blue, pink and yellow skies, it was only pure white. An empty canvas brought by the winter season's arrival.
Countless ice floated weightlessly downwards, each snowflake dancing and swirling around towards us, like standing in the middle of a gentle and lush rain of snow, in one cool yet dark winter masquerade,
Countless ice floated weightlessly downwards, each snowflake dancing and swirling around towards us, like standing in the middle of a gentle and lush rain of snow, in one cool yet dark winter masquerade,
and though the winds were drifting cold air around us, my body felt warm under his tight embrace.
"No matter how long it takes,
I'll wait for your return.
So come back home if you're ready. You here me?" His voice reached me and is somehow... making all my inside churn.
No...
It's— it's like butterflies are on a rampage inside my stomach.
My heart is drumming so fast.
My face feels feverishly hot.
And my body feels so electrified,
making me wide awake, baffled, yet leaving me rather raw.
This feeling is —weird.
What is it?
I shut my eyes close
and I gently touched his hand that wrapped around me like a scarf...
But he slides it off pass my grip,
and flexed his fingers close until they were entangled in between mine.
I blankly stared at our folded hands
and felt like my heart will explode anytime soon.
Maybe...
—this is one reason why I can't fully trust him,
Because I can't explain to myself for behaving so uncharacteristically when he's around.
I always find my thoughts are all over the place,
I act irrationally and impulsively
But right now,
even thought my entire limbs are shaking for an unknown reason and my insides are in a mess,
I...
admit...
That I feel so...
Very
very much...
—warm and fuzzy.
"Aerra—! Y-your... your hair!" he gasped as he steps away.
I opened my eyes and saw the black color of my hair transitions back to white.
My real hair color...!
I turned around and faced him
And found him smiling,
his usual half smile that shows only one dimple, like a sneer...
But his cheeks are too damp yet.
Was he crying?
"You look cool with black hair and red eyes but honestly speaking, I prefer it better when you look like that, snow head!" he says, cheerfully.
Blood began to rush to my cheeks.
I veered my eyes away and his hand suddenly touches my face, caressing my skin lightly with his thumb.
"I'm starting to understand now why I'm like this with you..." he says,
I watch his dark purple eyes as it studied me.
"—though it still needs further investigation to confirm my hunch. But for now, I'll keep your family safe for you... so you wouldn't have to worry and just concentrate on what it is that you have to do."
I opened my lips.
"I..."
I closed them back and took a deep breath.
It felt like my voice will shatter
And I don't know why.
Eriol is such a riddle to me.
When will I solve you?
"I promise—!" my voice peaked a few volume than I intended, "when I return, I would have remembered everything about you!" I declared,
"I'll look forward to it!" He suddenly grins, patting my head like a child. "Stay out of trouble, my little walking disaster!" he chuckled.
And with that, wind bursted frantically around us.
I closed my eyes
And waited till it calmed down.
But when I opened them back
He was no longer around.
What a grand exit, I thought.
That... t-that Eriol—!
I sighed and placed a hand on my chest
and watched all the falling snow around me.
Oddly, I found a smile plastered on my lips.
One that I can't seem to erase.
'Farewell for now, Eriol. Next time we do meet, I will make sure I'd remember...
—who you truly are to me.'
••▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅••
I walked to the entrance of the dungeon.
The same place where I first encountered Aide.
And I stood before the huge barred door.
This is where I suppose it would lead me to the sealed chambers, the one under the lake, I bet.
And if my hunch is right, further ahead is where I will meet Faram.
I looked at my hand and watch dark veins appear like I was able to do back at the orchards awhile ago.
So despite my hair and eyes turning to normal, I can still summon the dark element in my hand.
So odd though, I don't think this is the Null.
I wonder what kind of power this is?
I'll just have to ask Faram myself.
I broke the lock of the door and pulled it open.
Suddenly I hear hurrying sounds of footsteps running from where I came from, just even before I could have stepped inside the doors.
I turned around to look and see who it was, but to my surprise, I realized it's Aeron.
He's suppose to be resting to recover!
His gashes seemed to have closed but it's pretty clear that he hasn't fully healed.
He ran up to me and grabbed my wrist.
"Don't go!" he pleaded, pulling me to step away from the door. "You promised..." he says as I just watched him, there's nothing left to say actually.
"I know I'm not strong enough but if only you give me more time...! I will uplift your curse!"
I pressed my lips tight before opening them, "You think... I'm cursed?"
He didn't respond, he just eyed me back persistently.
I tried to pull away from his grasp but he gripped tighter, dragging me towards him as we walked further away from the door.
"I— I don't know what say... or what to do for you to understand... that I'm doing my best to keep you on my side...!"
"I do." I replied
"NO YOU DON'T!!!" He shouted, shutting his eyes close. "Because if you do, then why do you have to leave?!?"
I didn't answer.
This is my fault why he's like this...
I held the hand that clasped around my wrist and forced it to release me.
"WHY— WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO?!" He repeated, persistently.
"Aeron, be calm." I said in a tone just above a whisper.
"HOW COULD I—?" He clenched his teeth together, almost grinding them as his eyes began to pool tears.
"How could I... you're leaving me behind—!!!"
I watch him...
As he began to cry.
Looking at him now reminds me of our younger years together.
I blinked my eyes close, reminiscing.
And all I see is that young eight years old Aeron from back then, standing in front of me...
And all I see is that young eight years old Aeron from back then, standing in front of me
________________________________________
「He suddenly turned to me and raised his voice, "How would you know that?! H-how sure are..." His voice shattered and he didnt finish his sentence. I watch in transition as his eyes slowly fills up with tears. He bit his lips in frustration. I sighed. I tried to reach out and touch him but he slapped my hands off. "You wouldn't know because I wouldn't too! No body could. So who would be there to protect you if that happens again, you dimwit?!?" His tear blurred eyes went pouring uncontrollable tears that even he can't stop. His nose started to run too.
"I need to... beside you... always so..." he murmured, almost howling inaudible gibberish.
He went on crying until he started wailing in such painful tone that I was left speechless. Watching him cry like this makes my chest feel so tight, I feel like crying too. Is this what twins suppose to be like? I feel so much pain by just listening to his cries.」
~[Ch3: Fiancé Predicament]
________________________________________
Or the one when I tried to pretend I cried just so that I can get his attention.
________________________________________
「"Ah geez!?" He rubs his nape, "Don't cry, Aerra" he took both my hands and placed it on his face. His eyes looked directly at mine. "You do good acting but I'll let it slide this time" he whispered, letting my hands go. He then reaches my own face and wipes the tears from the corners of my eyes. "But don't use those tears like this. You're a Lady of this House. No body should see these tears, okay?" He sighs and then closes his eyes. "Go do it" He cringes, expecting my hands to pinch his face... So I hugged him.」
~[Ch3: Fiancé Predicament]
________________________________________
Or the time when we made a pinky promise for the first time.
________________________________________
「"Eww! You're ugly!"
"Jokes on you. We're twins!" he wipes his eyes dry with his sleeve. And then raised his little finger before me to a pinky swear gesture.
"Hey, you called me ugly too– a lot of times" I retorted while wrapping my own little finger around his anyway. I felt him lock his in place.
He gave me a big profound smile and uttered, "Like I said— we are twins!"」
~[Ch3: Fiancé Predicament]
________________________________________
I remembered the time he stormed inside my room just to check on me,
And I taught him then that screaming is relaxing. So we went screaming, almost competing until we woke the entire castle.
________________________________________
「"One last time" he says as I agreed and we went for another round (screaming). Suddenly soldiers and servants alike came rushing in. I forgot the door was wide open.
Our parents eventually came as well in a rush, worried that something happened but Aeron and I just ended up laughing from all the commotion that went off because of us.
"You're right. That was relaxing but you never said it would be fun." Aeron tells me while pulling my arm. "Here" he says putting something in my hand. He closes it into a fist and leaves the room. The rest of the people of my household also left the room including my parents. Darion stayed however.
I opened my fist and saw a peculiar looking rope tied in knots... it was an anklet.」
~[Ch2.5: Bond of Twins]
________________________________________
I looked at his hand that fisted on both his side and reached for them.
The same hands that held mine from the farthest memory I could recall.
These gentle hands never let me go and it guided me from I was still a little toddler, a crybaby, up until I grew and learned to climb trees on my own.
It has always been Aeron, my twin brother, who is there on my side.
And we were inseparable then.
But he'd readily gamble his own safety for me when the danger came,
________________________________________
「"Aerra..." he begun as he got on his one knee and reached for my feet. He tightens my shoe laces and then stood back up. "This is the only way at least one of us can get out of this. So I need you to cooperate with me, please."
What's happening...?
His seriousness is making my heart drum wild against my chest in anxiety.
"If I say 'go.' Aerra, I want you to run. Run and never look back. Not a glance, not even for a peek. Just keep running back towards the palace and don't stop for anything. Not even for me. Understand?"
"Aeron, you're really scaring me." I replied in a shudder. It's as if his feelings of anxiety and dread has reached me, my body began to tremble.
He fixes my hood in place...
"Aerra" says Aeron as I looked at him.
He smiled at me.
"It's going to be alright."」
~[Ch4: The Plan is to Run!]
________________________________________
Aeron has always assured we will be together.
Assured he could provide for me and that we don't need anybody else.
________________________________________
「"That's the main point! I want you to depend on me. Just grow and do whatever you like. You don't have to be stronger. Just trust me. I will take care of us, Aerra. Just you and me. We'll rule over Greenrun together!"」
~[Ch5: Desert Astray]
________________________________________
That he's always there for me.
Even to cheer me up...
________________________________________
「Aeron sat back up and reached for my cheeks. "You're ugly when you sulk and frown!" he pulls both my cheeks apart, squeezing it between his fingers and stretching it widely. "So just stop worrying....! It's too bothersome, even for me!"
"Awww, weh me gooo! It hurthsss!" I struggled to take his hands off my cheeks but he just pulled harder for a second before finally releasing....
I glared at him while patting my face together.
———
We pulled the blankets over and up to our necks as Aeron took one of my hand. "Good night, Aerra." he says, lying on his one side, facing me.
I took our hands closer to me as I also shifted to my side to face him. "Good night, Aeron."
He closed his eyes
I closed mine.
The heavy feeling in my chest disappeared.
Setting the problems aside,
I'm just happy to still have Aeron by my side.
He's my greatest ally that I cannot live without.」
~[Ch9: Partings and Meisters]
________________________________________
The face that doesn't perfectly resembles mine but it's the face I always see for all the days of my life, and I never got sick looking at it.
He's always a figure of support and also an ally. My protector. My best friend.
________________________________________
「...I still feel anxious with all the eyes watching but honestly speaking, I wouldn't be this calm if Aeron's not here by my side.
Finally, Aeron... had me stand before him. He placed his hand on my waist as his other held my other hand in place.
On cue, music began to play... and we danced.
"Now, you're the one looking down!" Aeron chuckled, I glared at him.
"Well sorry, I'm just trying to concentrate in praying to all the gods so I won't stumble and embarrass myself here!" I grumbled.
"Just relax and follow my lead." Aeron whispered as he took greater steps, "Look sharp! Straighten your back more and stop staring down, you dimwit!"
"What are you, my governess? Just keep dancing and I'll keep—!"
"Praying?" He supplied, rolling his eyes.
I glared at him for a moment, deadpan.
"Seems like the gods are listening. See? You're doing well!"
Ah.
He's right.
Without really thinking too much about the sequence of steps, my body just went moving on it's own.」
~[Ch11: Banquet]
________________________________________
「"You're cold? You should wear something thicker." Aeron grumbles, taking his scarf off and walks in front of me to wrap it around my neck snuggly. "That should keep you warm a bit!" He says reaching to pat my head but ruffles my hair instead.」
~[Ch13:Harvest Day]
________________________________________
We were born together,
We grew up together,
Yet we know...
our world has began to widened.
And now our paths have forked.
It's time to let go of the hand.
"Aeron, we will meet again." I said and he persistently and vehemently shook his head.
"Don't leave me... Let me just help you... you don't have to join them! I can... help you! I can protect you! Please please... PLEASE!
Aerra—!!!!"
I got his hand to finally release me and I began to walk away.
From behind me, I can hear him shatter as he called my name repeatedly.
"AERRA!!!"
"AERRA!!!!!!!!"
I closed my eyes and held back my own tears.
Hearing him cry like this...
This must be one of the most painful sounds I have ever heard.
And I told myself not to look back as I finally stepped in the door
and suddenly it began to close on its own, I looked up and realized Faram is standing deep in the dungeon passage further ahead from me.
I stared at him for a moment.
He nods briefly and began to walk farther away.
I bit my lips and gathered my guts to glance back.
'Just one final glance...' I told myself.
Both hand fisted.
I turned about face
and from the remaining slit between the closing doors,
I saw Aeron on his knees, crouched on the ground, crying.
"AERON—!!!" I called out as loud yet cheerful as I can
"AERON—!!!" I called out as loud yet cheerful as I can
He looked up.
I grinned at him profoundly,
"GOOD LUCK TO US!!!"
I showed him a thumbs up
His eyes widened.
Tears gushing like waterfall on the corners of his eyes and cheeks.
His sobs stopped and perhaps something deep inside him finally understood.
Because...
As the door finally closed,
I saw the ugliest smile from him I have ever seen...
He forced himself to grin wide despite his swollen face and tear flooded eyes,
He looked torned but he held a thumbs up for me.
"See you soon"
So in the end...
Aeron knows I have to go too.
I turned around...
and then began to walk the dungeon passage to the direction Faram went to.
This time, no turning backs.
'From here on out...' I thought as I caught a glance of four figure of people ahead, idly standing by and just waiting for me: Faram, Aide, and two others I'm not familiar yet.
'everything is going to change...
and joining Ouboros— marks the beginning!'
———End of Chapter 14———