I went over the railing as I felt the strong wind passing by. It wasn't scary knowing I am about to do something utterly stupid. The wind feels like it was pushing me - tempting me to jump from this five-storey building. I wasn't scared about knowing I'd die. What scares me is the fact I don't fear death at all. More than dying, being alive is a scarier state to be in.
Jump. A step in the air and I'll be gone.
I closed my eyes and imagined taking a leap. All I need to do is loosen my grip on the railing. But for some reason, I can't let go. As if my hand has a mind of it's own, it refuses to let go.
"Why can't I let go?" I whispered. As if someone can give me an answer.
"If you're going to kill yourself, make sure no one's around to stop you, stupid."
That voice, those eyes filled with nothing. You're smiling but I can't sense you feeling happy. I wonder why a cold person like you would stop me?
"I want to die."
"I can see that." He held my hand tighter and smiled at me.
"Then loosen your grip and let me do what I want to do." I tried to shake his hand off but he was too strong. "Who are you, anyway?"
"Why do you want to die?"
"Life is simply too boring for me." He stared at me as if figuring out if I'm just kidding or not.
I jumped over the railing since I figured I can't possibly die today with this guy insisting that I sholdn't.
"You're a cold one, huh." He let go of my hand.
"Not as cold as you." He looked at me intently with those cold, dark eyes of his. Like the light passing through, as I stare back at him, all I could think of is how much I want to escape from him. "As I said. . . who are you? Why do I feel like I know you?"
"It's because you do. You just chose to forget me."