Kasey's POV
It's my second day sa pagkukulong kong muli sa apat na sulok ng silid na ito. For the whole day pinag isipan ko ng mabuti ang mga sinabi ni Kuya.
Tama sya, I need to move forward and get my self out of my cage. Hindi na ako nag iisa ngayon dahil ngayon ay mga kaibigan na ako na handa akong samahan ano man ang mangyari. I shouldn't be afraid anymore, I need to be strong if I want to be free and be happy.
Walang ibang makakatulong sa akin kundi ang sarili ko lang din, at ang pinaka matindi kong kalaban ay ang sarili ko lang rin. And be able to be back on my track I must tear down this walls that I build in to see my light and the road to happiness and freedom.
"Kasey?!" gulat nilang sambit ng makita nila ako
"okay ka lang ba?, may masakit pa ba sayo?, gutom ka ba?, may pagkain dyan gusto mo?" sunod sunod at sabay sabay nilang sambit
"okay lang ako, sorry kung pinag alala ko kayo" pigil luha kong sambit
"wala yun, ang mahalaga ay nandito ka na uli" sambit ni Cherry at saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit
"ako din" sambit ni Denise na ngayon ay nakayakap na din sa akin
"I'm glad" narinig naming sambit ni kuya
"kuya?, wala kang trabaho ngayon?" tanong ko
"meron, but I just drop by before we move on to the next location, and it must be good that I did" nakangiti nyang sabi
"thank you kuya" I said as I walk towards him and hug him and buried my head on his chest
"It's nothing, as long as your alright"
"kuya, it was now alright for me, I think I can now" I said as I face him
"what do you mean?" taka nyang tanong
"I'm ready to talk to him now, I need to settle and clear everything about us" I explained, he must know whom I'm referring to.
"I get it, I'll talk to him first before I let the both of you talk, but for now... Maligo ka na muna, ang baho mo na oh!" pang aasar ni kuya
"oy!, hindi kaya ako mabaho, baka ikaw yun, saka nakaligo naman na kaya ako kanina" depensa ko
"ito naman biro lang, sige na mauna na ako, bye guys, bye lil sis" paalam ni kuya
"pasalubong ko kuya ha!" pahabol ko
At isang senyas lang na ok ang ginanti nya.
"Kasey" narining kong malumanay na banggit nya
"Ryouma, you're here" sambit ko ng maka upo sya sa upuan sa harapan ko
"Thank you, because you allowed me to be meet you today"
"there's no need for me to say No anyway, there's no reason for me to avoid you"
"you're right" awkward nyang sambit
"Kasey the reason why I wanna meet you is because I wanna say sorry, I'm sincerely sorry for leaving you behind, for not protecting you, for turning my back to you. . . . It was just I'm afraid, I'm afraid that if I continue in standing by your side all of those who bullies you would never stop and I also thought that if our relationship has been exposed your image will be ruined, I ... I didn't know that you have been in such incident that time, I'm so sorry Kasey, I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't be a coward back then, I'm really sorry" he said as his tears started to fall slowly
So it means that, hindi nya talaga ako iniwan sa ere na kaya lang sya lumayo sa akin ay dahil sa gusto nya akong protektahan sa mga bullies na yon at sa mga possible issues na kumalat sa TV if they found out that I have a boyfriend.
"Ayase and I are not dating, what you saw that day was a misunderstanding, I was helping her that time on her part time job, and the reason why she avoided you was, because she don't know how to approach you after that day, the day that it was revealed that you're a model, she lost her confidence to stand by your side when you were surrounded by cameras, and she don't want to make you worried about her, she was very sorry and she was depressed since the day you transferred, so can you please forgive Ayase?" he said
I didn't say any words, thus, ang nakabibinging katahimikan lang ang maririnig.
"Kasey, can't you give me another chance?, this time I would do anything, I could even ask and beg for my parents to allow me study in Philippines if you wanted me to do so" he said as he hold my hands after a minute of silence.
I don't think I can because, I already have made my decision earlier, and it hasn't been change.
"I'm sorry Ryouma but...."
"Is it because of him?, is it because of that guy named Nice?" he curiously asked
"yeah, I'm really sorry"
"My rival was really a strong opponent, but, if that's your decision I will respect and accept it, but... Can you do me a favor?" he said as his voice started to cracked down
"what is it?"
"can you let me, love you from afar, until my feelings for you fade away, is it possible?"
"I can't control your feelings, I can't just shut down that heart of yours from loving, but I don't want you to get hurt .... I'm really sorry" I said as I tried to stop my tears that are about to fall down
"You don't need to be sorry, I should be the one, I'm the one who left you alone in the first place and this was just right for me, besides it was definitely impossible for us to go back to the way we were before, we can't turn back the time and were not that same persons anymore, it's different now" he said as he force a smile.
"Ryouma, to be honest. . . . When you kissed me that day, I don't feel anything, but instead it made me realize what my true feelings is" I honestly said
"then I should be glad that I helped you"
I just nod.
"i'm sorry Kasey, but I need to go now" he excuse himself
"alright" I simply respond
I know that it was just merely his excuse.
"Ryouma!" I shouted as I follow him outside the restaurant
"yes?" he said
He's crying?, he is. I can clearly see that crystal clear tears that are flowing down his cheeks.
"I just wanna say that, we're still friends right?"
"yeah, we are" he simply reply
Friendship is all I can give him.
"then, I will be looking forward to see you at the temple on new year"
"same here"
"then, bye bye" I said as I wave my hands to him
"bye bye" he said as he turn his back at me and started to walk away.
"I'm really sorry Ryouma" I whispered to myself
On that very day, on that moment I realized and fully understand my feelings.
I finally understood it, Nice was not just a friend to me. Natakot lang ako noon at pilit na binalewala ang tunay kong damdamin, natakot ako na baka masaktan akong muli, napuno ako ng alinlangan at takot dahil na rin sa mga karanasan ko.
Pero ngayon, I must accept, admit at tanggapin ng buo ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya bago pa ako mahuli, bago pa sya tuluyang lumayo.
It was now or never. I will tell him honestly and sincerely.
"JAMES!!!, JAMES!!!" dinig kong sigaw ni Denise mula rito sa gate ng bahay.
Kaya naman sa pag aalala na kung may ano ng nangyayari ay tumakbo na ako papasok.
"James!, guys bilisan nyo tumawag na kayo ng ambulansya" Tarantang sambit ni denise habang yakap yakap si James
"natawagan ko na, they will be here in a minute" sambit ni Nice
"anong nangyari?" nag aalala at taka kong tanong nang lapitan ko si Denise
Pero hindi na nila kailangan pag sagutin ang tanong ko dahil, alam na alam ko na ang nanagyayari. James is having a heart attack. He was barely catching his breath, he was clenching his fist so hard, he was sweating, while Denise was crying a river of tears.
Bakit naman ngayon pa?, this was supposed to be a vacation not a nightmare.
"nandito na ang ambulansya!" sigaw ni Cherry
Thus, we let them, the professionals to take James. Sumama na din si Denise sa mga rumispunde habang kami ay sumunod na lang sa kanila.
"magiging okay lang sya di ba?, di ba?" paulit ulit na sambit ni Denise habang paroo't parito sya.
"he will be fine, malakas at matapang si James, kaya kumalma ka na muna Denise, James will be mad at us if he see you acting like that" Kris said
"paano akong kakalma, nasa loob ngayon si James at madaming maaaring mangyari sa loob ng emergency room Kris, sa tingin mo magagawa ko pang kumalma, we all know James condition" naiiyak na sambit ni Denise
We can't do anything to console her, it was also hard for us. Seeing a friend in a sudden verge of death. James meant a lot to us, most importantly on Denise.
But, ang mag intay sa paglabas ng Doktor at ang mag dasal para sa kaibigan na lang ang tangi naming magagawa sa mga oras na ito.
I don't think I can tell him what I feel in this kind of situation.
The atmosphere was not that good to shout out my feelings for him, I also think that I won't be able to say it.