He squatted down and scooped her up princess style. He took her into the staff room and laid her down. Then he proceeded to lay next to her.
"That day when I left, I got a call that one of my teammates died during his solo mission," he said softly.
Claudia listened patiently. She put her palm on his cheek as if comforting him.
"He left behind a pregnant wife. He was going to retire after the job was done to be with her and their baby."
His voice was starting to crack.
"I can't get the visual of how much pain his wife was in when he was buried. It broke my heart so much."
A tear ran along Claudia's face when he said that. She wished she could take on that pain for him.
"I began to think... what if that was me someday? Would you also be that way? I couldn't bear the thought. So I thought it was better not to start with you at all. I wished for you to find someone who would stay beside you and not cause you pain. I wanted to protect you in my own way."
Silence took over the room. She withdrew her hand from his grasp. So that was why he pushed her away, she thought. He put her through so much pain because of his fear and someone else's pain.
"Who gave you the right to make that decision for me?" She said angrily. She sat up on the bed. Justin followed.
"You are so selfish. Did you ever ask me how I'd feel? Did I ever tell you I couldn't bear the weight of your job? Did I ever complain to you? Did I ever tell you to quit? You hurt me so much."
She was balling her eyes out. Justin looked at her helplessly. He tried to hug her, but she kept pushing him away.
"I'm sorry Winnie. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry."
The only thing he could do was apologize.
Finally, she let him hold her. She cried herself hoarse. He held on to her and let her.
After a while, he noticed she wasn't moving. He called her name, but she remained unresponsive. He laid her back on the bed and saw that she had fallen asleep. She slept with a sweet smile on her face. He accompanied her until morning, leaving only at 6am.
This time, he left a longer note.
"My dear Winnie. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm an a$#hole and I willingly admit to that. Give me a chance to make it up to you. I'll come pick you when you get off work. Love, J."
"P.S. who was that guy you were all over at the bar?"
For them, it was a new beginning.