Only one thing was certain, her name was Jiang Xiulan.
Or, was it?
Maybe it was Liu Lan?
She could barely think over the steadily throbbing pain that pierced holes through her brain. Unaware of the passage of time, she sat there, eyes closed, and rested her head against the cool stone wall of the dark cave.
Slowly, bits and pieces of herself returned to her.
Memories of a dirty street rat doing her best to survive with an unrelenting hunger in her belly that was never sated, of a little girl whose dreams were kindled for the first time when her spirit roots were discovered and was taken in by the Cursed Ghost Sect, of an outer sect disciple disillusioned by her own lack of talent and the unsurpassable gap between herself and the inner sect members.
Memories of a girl named Liu Lan.
And yet?
Who was Jiang Xiulan?
She was uncertain, yet strangely certain, in the affirmation that she was not Liu Lan and was instead Jiang Xiulan. Despite the fact that all her memories consisted of the life of Liu Lan, deep in her heart, something was missing.
The dull ache of sorrow and resentment burned in the depths of her soul, the flicker of a weak flame. She clutched her chest and immersed herself in that familiar emotion, more familiar to herself than the memories of her own body as they returned to her. The flow of memories ceased with the recollection of Liu Lan's death. She had died, in an ironic twist of fate, directly after discovering hope to change her fate.
After an unfortunate encounter with a nest of Poisonous Devil Wasps, Liu Lan had stumbled into a mysterious cave on her way back to the sect, returning from a regular herb-collecting mission. As she cursed her luck, she made her way deeper into the cave and was astonished to find an ownerless storage ring laying next to a broken skeleton.
Once she fed the ring a drop of her blood, Liu Lan was filled with a wild ecstasy when she discovered that it not only contained three mid-grade spirit stones, but it also held two cultivation manuals. Regrettably, before she could fully enjoy this unexpected windfall, she was stabbed by a vague feeling of unease and found, to her dismay, that she was completely unable to move.
A voice filled with lazy amusement spoke, "Little girl, what on earth has got you so excited? You would not mind showing me that tiny trinket, would you?"
Liu Lan felt that fate must playing with her life, forcing her to experience the highest highs of happiness before cruelly dragging her into the deepest depths of despair. Her last memory was of watching her body collapse to the floor as her soul was brutally crushed by the pressure of the senior looming behind her.
In those last moments, her biggest regrets were not knowing who killed her, how they found her, and why they coveted the storage ring so badly. With a strange mixture of curiosity and regret, Liu Lan left this world and Jiang Xiulan returned. Her head cleared, and the girl in the cave finally opened her eyes, processing the memories.
Liu Lan was dead. Her memories proved this.
Yet, she knew nothing of the Jiang Xiulan she was certain she was.
She thought through her situation more carefully, piecing together a hypothesis. Was it possible that after Liu Lan's soul left her body and died, Jiang Xiulan's had entered?
The thought rang true as she concluded this to herself.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the musty air of the damp cavern and caught the faint whiff of a sharp chill, penetrating through the stale atmosphere. Step by step, she walked towards the mouth of the cave as pale moonlight grew more and more visible. After she fully emerged, like a baby leaving the nest for the first time, she gazed blankly at the world that rapidly expanded in front of her eyes and resolved to live for both Liu Lan and Jiang Xiulan.
For Liu Lan, who had provided her with a body, she would avenge her death.
For Jiang Xiulan, who had provided her with a soul, she would regain those lost memories.
For herself, who was both women and neither, she would live as Jiang Lan and find her own way.
Jiang Lan headed back to the Cursed Ghost Sect, reasoning that since Liu Lan was already an outer sect disciple, it would be easiest for her to continue cultivating there. Her body was weak from malnutrition and dehydration, but she regained her energy little by little, using Liu Lan's knowledge to trap small prey, forage edible flora, and find water sources. Four days later, she finally returned, tired but strengthened by her travels.
Fortunately, though Liu Lan's murderer had snatched the mysterious storage ring, the murderer had not deigned to take her storage bag, rightfully discerning that there would be nothing of worth to a senior cultivator. This had saved her the hassle of having to re-gather the spirit grasses necessary to complete the herb-gathering mission and allowed her to easily re-enter the sect after displaying her identity tablet.
Jiang Lan made her way to the mission hall to hand in the fruits of Liu Lan's hard work. The familiar stoic face of Wei Li, a scholarly looking inner sect disciple who regularly manned the mission desk, frowned as he collected her submission, "Junior Sister Liu, you've returned? You've been gone a week longer than normal."
Jiang Lan calmly replied, "Junior Sister thanks Senior Brother Wei Li for his concern. I was unfortunate enough to encounter some Poisonous Devil Wasps and was injured during my escape. "
Wei Li's frown deepened imperceptibly, "Report this to Senior Uncle Sun immediately. We must place an extermination mission so others do not fall victim to those foul pests."
"Of course, Senior Brother Wei. Liu Lan will report the infestation right away." Jiang Lan left the mission desk a few low grade spirit stones richer, and headed straight to Senior Uncle Sun, an older inner sect disciple in charge of overseeing the outer sect.
He had the reputation of a pervert who enjoyed preying on beautiful female outer sect disciples, but was mostly harmless to those he was disinterested in. He would take bribes when assigning chores, but was no better or worse than any of the previous overseers.
Liu Lan was blessed with an incredibly ordinary face, and therefore had an indifferent relationship with Senior Uncle Sun, blending in with the masses as a plain female disciple who gave him just enough spirit stones to escape the worst of the chores. Jiang Lan briefly reported her situation to Senior Uncle Sun and was quickly dismissed.
The sun set, painting the sky with streaks of orange, pink, and red as Jiang Lan trudged her way to her quarters, exhaustion catching up with her as she finally allowed herself to relax.
She had made it back.
No one had noticed that Liu Lan was not quite Liu Lan anymore.
She cradled the bit of ambition that fluttered in her heart, now that she had two definite goals to work towards.
Jiang Lan quietly slipped into her room, offhandedly noting the empty bed of her roommate who had yet to return, and slid onto her own lumpy mattress. As she closed her eyes, she finally put down the countless worries plaguing her mind and allowed herself to rest, falling into a deep sleep.
Four hours later, Jiang Lan was startled awake by the embrace of a warm body in her bed.