She was stressed when she walked inside the university, passing all the bullies on her way for the nth time. Hindi na talaga siya masyadong apektado sa mga ito gayong may nagtagumpay nang kaibiganin siya. Ang tanging pinanghahawakan na lang niya ngayon ay ang pagbabalik niya sa club sa Biyernes upang makausap at makilala si Jacob.
She is on her typical place in the university. She sits under the acacia tree and peacefully writing something. She is probably composing a poem of her or something like an article. Nobody dares to go near her kaya masaya naman siya.
"Charity!" a not-so-familiar voice had called her.
Since nobody dares to get too close to her, she just thought of it as tripping shit. Hindi na siya magpapaloko pa sa kahit anong pagtawag lalo na't natauhan na siya. The last time she payed attention on someone calling her, she got her eyeglasses broken.
"Mia Charity!" It was another call from the same voice.
Again, she ignored whoever calls her precious name. She proceeded writing her brilliant poem.
After some few seconds, something hit her eyeglasses that made it fall on the poem that she is writing. Some kind of bully just threw a small rock on her, at ngayon, sira na ulit yung salamin niya.
"What the?"
She grabbed her broken glasses and tried fixing them. Pero hindi niya kaya. Her blood boiled in anger. Naiinis siya sa mga taong patuloy na nambubully sa kaniya. She faced the stupid person who threw a rock on her. She saw the guy and described it as an 'ass'. Umikot ang eyeballs niya at agad na kinuha ang kaniyang mga gamit. 'I am not safe here'.
She walked few steps away from the tripping guy. She knows him. Nakita na niya ito somewhere else. Pero wala siyang pakialam dito. She just wants to find a peaceful place to write on. She does not want her mood to affect her writing so she needs to cool down herself.
She is really trying her best to keep herself put up to be nicer and better. May mga tao lang talagang trigger sa galit niya.
She reached the journalism room, which seems to be loud and busy. She wiped her tears away before she entered the room. Biglang napatahimik ang buong silid nang makapasok siya. Parang may dumaang anghel sa gitna nila.
Is she too appealing to shut their mouths up? Hindi, takot lang talaga silang masigawan ng editor-in-chief nila. Kapag may sumusulyap sa kaniya, agad itong napapalingon sa ibang direksyon. They cannot stand her stare. They are like daggers, ready to kill.
"Articles?" she asked. Biglang nagsikilos ang section editors niya at inilagay ang mga ito sa table niya sa may pinakadulo ng room. It was the cleanest and most organized place in the whole room.
She went on her table and started reading articles. Supposedly, her associate editor must have fixed her signature on those papers. Sadly, she did not see any sign on those papers.
"Where's Jillian?" she asked as she fixed her broken glasses.
Murmurs covered the whole. Parang ayaw nilang kausapin ang editor-in-chief nila na ilang segundo nang naghihintay sa sagot nila.
"Ikaw na kasi, Cess," panunuro noong isa.
Napilitan lang si Cessina in that moment. She is the closest person on position next to Jillian, their former associate editor.
"Yes?" she said.
"Jillian migrated last weekend," sabi nito. Cessina is Jillian's best friend so she knows everything about her but this time she does not even know why Jillian did an immediate migration.
"Why?"
"I-I, do not know."
Napabuntong-hininga si Charity sa narinig. Nawalan siya ng isang efficient worker who can stand her character. Nawalan din siya ng isang taong super professional magtrabaho pero napakabait.
"So what know?" she asked. "Ikaw na ba ang associate editor ko?"
"Ahm, Miss, No-"
"Then who?" her brows raised and it gave Cessina some shivers on her body. Matapang si Cessina pero tikom ang bibig niya pagdating sa ed-chief nila. She cannot even answer Charity's question in straight English that is why she barely talk to her.
Unti-unting nang nasagot ang kaniyang tanong dahil naririnig na niya ang pagdating ng kanilang tagapayo. She seems to be with somebody. She heard other footsteps, probably her associate. Her eyes grew large when she saw the person with their adviser.
"Miss Locquias, meet Mister de Sevilla from the Civil Engineering College," Miss Teri said.
Mister de Sevilla, in the uniform for Engineering students, wearing thick eye glasses and effortless messy hair. She saw the not-so-typical Mister de Sevilla now. Mukha itong balisa at tahimik habang ipinapakilala ni Miss Teri. There is something mysterious happening with this guy.
"And he will be your associate."
Her brows went up like, "I-Is it for real?" she said. "I mean, Ma'am, I prefer to work with the most efficient person in the world-"
"He is the most efficient one."
She has been hoping for a better associate. She cannot believe that Esaac is the most efficient person that they can ever choose. Naguguluhan na siya. She cannot believe it.
"Ma'am, I could work on my own," she said with a fake smile. Alam naman nila na hindi niya kayang mag-isa and she is just saying those lies to keep Esaac away from her.
"No, Miss Locquias, it is final." Nakangiting nagsalita ang adviser nila at saka iniwan si Esaac kasama ang iba pang editor ng dyaryo.
Her mouth dropped open because of everything. Hindi siya makapaniwalang ito ang binigay sa kanya. She can resign if she wills but this is the only thing that she has right now to be noticed by her parents.
"So, I'll be sitting next beside you, Miss Editor," he said with tease.
"Stupid," she replied.
She kept herself busy with reading those articles. She is not focused because he attracts her - I mean, distracts her.
It was never in her mind. She cannot be in love. Marami pa siyang kailangang iisipin maliban sa pagmamahal na iyan. Love was not her and love will never be her. Kailangan pa niyang ma-impress ang mga magulang niya so that soon, soon, they will love her. At iyon lang ang unang pagkakataong may magmamahal sa kanya.
She is into winning her parents' love. Iyon lang naman ang kaisa-isa niyang kagustuhan sa ngayon. She perceives to be on top because she believe that the best people are the ones who always get attention. She believes that everything known started from being the best. She is working on it. She has actually worked for it but the thing is, she never get the credit.
Mag-isa lang siyang anak ng mayamang mag-asawa. She got all the riches and the wealth in this world. She also had all the intelligence, talents, and abilities that uses brain. She got all the vices in this planet. She got all what she needs but she never had the attention that she wants.
How ironic right? We used to think that needs are better than wants, that wants are just part of vices but never virtues. In her case, she has this want for her own sake. Love.
Hindi namalayan ni Charity na nakatulog na pala siya. She woke up with pained neck because of wrong sleeping position. Nakakalat din sa paligid niya ang mga papel na approved na niya at mga hindi pa niya nababasa. She looked at her watch and it is already past six. Kaya pala madilim na sa labas. However, nobody woke her up. Bakit ganoon?
"Charity."
"What the heck?" she shouted in shock. Hindi niya akalaing may tao pala sa loob ng kwarto maliban sa kanya. "You scared me!"
"Would you mind to stop cursing?" he asked in sincerity.
"Why would I?" she asked. "Sino ka ba? Kaibigan lang kita sa labas ng school, remember that."
"I am your associate editor, Mia, and aside from that, you are my friend. Sa bar lang ba matatapos ang pakikipagkaibigan? If that's what you think about friendship then it is not friendship at all."
"So?" sabi niya na may kasaman pagtaas ng kilay. "Kaibigan lang kita sa labas ng lugar na ito. Iyon lang at wala nang iba. You do not even have the right to tell things to me."
"I am just saying," he said. "Kung ganoon lang pala, sana hindi ka na pumayag. Sana hindi mo na lang ako pinayagang kaibiganin ka kung hanggang kaibigan sa labas lang naman ako. Itigil na lang natin ito."
They talk as if the topic is not serious. Chill and civil, that is how they act. Sino ba namang mag-aakalang may tinatawag pa lang 'kaibigan sa labas', iyong kaibigan mo lang sa harap ng piling mga tao at walang kasiguraduhang kaibigan ka ba nila kapag maramihan na.
"Fine, fine, whatever. Ayaw ko rin ng kaibigang katulad mo. You did not even care to tell me that you study in this same school. Wala na rin akong pakialam kung paano at bakit mo tinanggap ang ugali ko. Hindi ko kailangan ng friends."
Tumalikod na si Charity at sinimulan Ang pagsasaayos ng mga gamit niya. Akala niya tapos na ang usapan nila ni Esaac pero, "Ay, oo nga pala, Miss Editor-in-chief, pinauwi ko na sila."
"What? At sino nagsabi sa iyong pauwiin mo na sila? Alam mo bang marami pa tayong gagawin? And who are you to make decisions? Ikaw ba iyong school paper adviser natin? Di ba hindi naman? Sumagot ka!"
Natatawa ang tikom na bibig ni Esaac. Hindi niya alam kung paano aakto sa panahong ganito, mga panahong naghuhuramentado ang pinakamasamang magalit na tao sa buong campus. "Yeah, pinauwi ko na because it's getting late. It was about 20 minutes ago when they depart. Sabi kasi ni Miss Teri-"
"Fine, fine, I get it. Just shut up," she said as she gestured him to stop.
Inasikaso niyang bigla ang mga nagkalat na papel sa lapag. Hindi niya na rin pinansin si Esaac na kasalukuyang nakatingin sa kaniya at pinagmamasdan ang bawat galaw niya.
"Aren't you going home?"
He is annoying. He is not that sensed to know that she is not into talking. Ngayon lang siya nakipag-usap sa tao nang more than ten dialogues of exchange. Hindi siya sanay gayong hindi naman siya palasalita.
"Ikaw, bakit hindi na lang ikaw ang umuwi. You are bugging me. You are effortlessly annoying. Don't you get it?" She always thought that he would stop talking to her knowing that she is already pissed off. However, as always, he did not stop talking.
"Ah, so that is my effect on you?" he said. There was a certain tickle in her body when she heard him. Nag-init ang pisngi niya nang matanto niyang may matinding epekto si Esaac sa pagkatao niya.
"No, whatever." Ito na lang ang nasagot niya kay Esaac thinking na titigil na ito. He must shut up now so that she will not get completely pissed off.
Esaac smirked when an idea popped out of his mind. "So…"
"What the f?" she said in annoyance. "Can you just shut your freaking mouth?"
Napakamot sa noo si Esaac. "Do not curse, Mia," he said.
Biglang lumambot ang kunot niya sa noon ang muling marinig si Esaac. She has to be calm and put up. Nameywang siya at pinakatitigan si Ez. "Fine, ano ba iyon?"
"Eat." Nagulat siya nang marinig iyon mula sa binata. Inabutan siya nito ng pagkain na siyang nagpainit muli ng pisngi niya. "Hindi ka pa kumakain ng lunch kahit dinner na."
"Ah?" Bakas sa mukha niya nag pagkagulat sa sinabi.
"Masamang magpagutom, Miss Ed-Chief."
Her heart melted with what he is doing. He is out of his mind. So as she. Nababaliw ang organs niya sa "kilig" na nararamdaman. Kilig nga ba iyon? Ngayon niya lang naramdaman ito. If it is, she will probably suffer from heart because of too much palpitation that scares her out.
"Kain na, Miss Mia."
Sinalubong siya ng mga nagbabanggaan niyang lamang-loob nang marinig ang mga sinabi ni Esaac. She is definitely uncontrollable. He is affecting her, too much. Hindi na niya maintindihan ang sarili niya.
Akala pa naman niya, matibay na ang kalasag niya laban sa pag-ibig sa ibang kasarian subalit hindi. She is weak. She is vulnerable. May kakaibang emosyon ang sumasalakay sa kanya sa tuwing pinapakitaan siya nito ng mabuti. Iba man ang intensyon ng taong iyon, she is getting wrong signals. Kabaliwan.
She grabbed the food that he had given her. It was a cute packed food like a bento box. Napangiti siya sa nakitang laman nito lalo pa at pagkaing Hapon at Koreano ang laman nito. She took consecutive spoonful of it and took multiple sips on the foiled juice.
Hindi man niya ikaila, masayang-masaya rin niyang pinapanood si Mia Charity. It was the first time that he saw legit happiness on her face without the influence of alcohol. Natutuwa man siya kapag nakikita ito sa Club but he is getting happier now that he sees her in herself, in school, as Mia Charity Locquias, their editor-in-chief.
Natapos kumain si Charity. She chose to fix her things then a missed moved had popped out of her mind. She may be cursing but she has this heart of gratitude. "Ahh, thank you."
Ikinagulat ito ng associate editor niya na kasalukuyang nag-aayos na rin ng gamit. "No problem," he said. "You are always welcome."
Kawirdohan lang siguro ang kanilang pag-uusap. It is as if they are awkward with each other with the way they talk and converse. Nakailang ulit man silang nag-usap, ganoon pa rin ang pag-iingat ni Charity sa kaniya.
They both went out of the journalism room and took few steps out of the school. Nagpaalam pa si Esaac sa school guard as if they were really close. Napataas naman ng kilay si Charity sa ginawa ng kasama then she took faster steps away from him.
Ang pagkahulog, iyon ang tanging problema ng dalaga kapag naiisip niya ang pakikipagkaibigan sa binata. Love and friendship has a very thin line in between. Gaya nga ng sabi, nagsisimula ang pag-ibig sa pakikipagkaibigan. Ito ang ikinakatakot niya ukol sa pagmamahal. Subalit may prinsipyo siyang sa paghihiwalay din nauuwi ang pagmamahalan.
"Oh, wait," ani Esaac na nagpatigil sa pag-iisip niya. "Let me take you home."
Hindi makapaniwala si Charity sa naririnig niya mula kay Esaac. Does he even know where she lives? Or does he even know if she wants to be with him? Kalokohan nga siguro ang may maghatid sa kanya sa bahay.
"Close na ba tayo?" she asked him.
Lumapit ang binata sa tabi niya. "If close, means this close." He smiled. "Yes, let's be close."
Close. Ibang close ang gusto ni Charity. She wants close, as in, close the doors and windows for the possible robbing of her heart away from her. Her heart beats in a different beat. Kakaiba ang pagtibok ng puso niya lalo na at katabi niya si Esaac ngayon.
"Lumayo ka nga." Tinulak niya ito papalayo sa kanya. He chuckled. Natutuwa siya dahil naaasar niya si Charity.
"Please, gabi na, Miss Locquias, baka kung anong mangyari sayo."
"Nope," she said. "I could handle myself. Ayaw kong sumama sa tulad mong maraming sikreto."
"Nope, you are coming with me." Hinawakan ni Esaac ang kamay ni Charity. Lalong nanginig ang lamang loob niya sa ginawa ng binata.
"Shut up, kaya kong umuwi ng mag-isa!" she shouted. "Bitiwan mo ako!"
"You are being scandalous, la mia amor. Stop it."
"What?" Taas kilay itong tumigil sa pagpupumiglas. "Did you just call me, la mia amor?"
Binuhat niya si Charity dahil wala na siyang maisagot. She almost faint in shock when she found herself off the floor. Agad siyang inilagay ni Esaac sa passenger seat ng kotse nito at mabilisang umikot sa driver's seat.
"You are crazy!" sigaw ni Charity. Pilit niyang binubuksan ang pinto ng kotse but she cannot. It must have been locked by the driver himself.
"Yes, I think so." He started driving at his normal speed. Pinagpapapalo siya ni Charity habang nagmamaneho siya at nagsasabing ibaba na siya agad.
"Huwag kang malikot, we might get into an accident."
She kept herself calm when she heard the word accident and started to exercise her breathing. Chill. She told herself. Hindi niya alam kung bakit ganoon but the thing she knows, Esaac made her calm.
Nanahimik na lang siya sa pagkakaupo at matamang pinagmasdan ang mga bituin. She thinks of them as free creatures in the sky that waits to die for them to glow at its shiniest. Maybe she needs to die to be remembered as a shining star. Maybe she needs to die to get the attention that she wants. Maybe it is her way to get what she really needs. It takes death for the stars to shine brightly that is what she knows.
"We are here." Charity got shocked when they reached the front of their house. Hindi siya makapaniwalang nakarating sila roon nang hindi niya naman sinabi kay Esaac ang address niya.
"Are you stalking me?" she asked with a bit of fear. "Why did you know my address?" Abot langit ang kaba ni Charity sa nangyayari. He might have been following her. Natatakot na siya ngayon, lalo na't nasa loob pa rin siya ng kotse nito. "Answer me, stupid."
"No, I am not your stalker," he said. "See that?" Tumuro ito sa labas ng kotse, patungo sa pangatlong bahay mula sa kanila. "That is my home, Miss Locquias. Kaya alam ko kung saan ka nakatira because we are neighbors."
She held her breathe until Esaac went out of the car and went nowhere. Doon lang siya nakahinga ng maluwag. Umikot pala ito para pagbuksan siya ng pinto. Agad siyang lumabas ng kotse at pinakatitigan si Esaac.
"You're welcome," sambit nito at saka ngumiti. "Ingat ka, Mia Charity." He immediately went in his car and drove to his house, few houses away from her house.
Nagkakagulo pa rin sa loob ng katawan ni Charity habang papaakyat siya sa kwarto niya. He affects her so much. Kakaibang pakiramdam ang sumasalubong sa kanya ngayon.
She is now being irrational. Irrationality – that is how she always describe love. By the time you fall, you cannot explain it. Whomever you fall for, you will never be able to explain it.
They say that true love takes an infinite group of words to explain. In her case, she is slowly collecting letters to form sentences and soon, an endless paragraph of their love story.