Chereads / I Hate You, I Love You... / Chapter 33 - Where Secrets Lie.

Chapter 33 - Where Secrets Lie.

Sometimes secrets are contained for a very important reason, especially painful ones but in certain circumstances when the mood is right, and emotions are running high those secrets can have catastrophic consequences. Mia began slowly driving on the peer looking down at the aquamarine waves crashing against the marine cliffs. All she could recall was sitting at the top of the stairs listening to their concerns when Yu began spouting her biggest secret out in the open for Aiden to hear. Aiden was protective enough and she couldn't stand those sympathetic eyes looking at her any longer. Pity was either loved or hated and Mia hated it. Mia could feel the vibrations in her back pocket as her phone began ringing off the hook. Taking deep breaths, she pulled up to her usual crisis spot.

It brought back memories of the day she decided to leave Aiden. This time she needed resolve for something much different, Mia had the support she needed but being unable to find peace independently was killing her. Reliance was also an object of love and hate and Mia was stuck in the middle. As her feet hit the icy sand a shiver run down her spine reminded her just how cold it was to be alone. Mia began dragging her fee as she unwillingly took out her phone. There was a message from Yu as expected.

'Mia I'm so sorry for talking about your secret, were worried sick about you. Please come home.'

Mia clicked her tongue; it wasn't talking about her father that had upset her it was telling Aiden about it when he knew fully well his parents were responsible for it. Mia didn't want Aiden to feel even more guilty about her trauma. That was the issue here. Mia walked halfway down the beach feeling the sea spray coat her raven hair and face. It was refreshing to say the least. The minute her head hit the cold sand a calm came over her. Staring up at the cloudy sky Mia recalled a quote she used in her philosophy. There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. It was the perfect analogy for trauma, she also mentioned internally that it is impossible to deal with trauma independently because there is nothing available to overwrite those horrific images.

Subconsciously her hand slipped beneath her shirt feeling the swelled line where the knife had impaled her, and the pain was still there sullen beneath the white skin. In two days, she would see those eyes again, the eyes she couldn't forget. Mia was trying to work out what exactly had gone through his mind to go this far. Sam was a sociopath and exploited people to get what he wanted which is why he had payed Lang Hai to help him. But that night it was like something had snapped inside of him and he no longer cared about exploiting, all he cared about was getting her to submit. Perhaps her original diagnosis was wrong, maybe he was a psychopath after all. As Mia's head hit the sand suddenly it was like the sense had finally been knocked into her. It was a poem her father wrote when he was young, most likely where she received her wisdom. When looking through his things after his passing the words he wrote stuck with her forever.

'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Those from tattered origin will drown with lust. If those will choose that path to sway, then they will be cast down some day. Whether born with a halo or a long-tailed spike that will all change when comes the night. Darkness is siren for incoming war you are either the victim or the demon once more. If you should find your self stuck it that pit don't use your anger but instead your wit. Don't be discouraged as your body turns to lead you have your own demon except in your head.'

It was a detailed depiction of true survival or if differently perceived then true hatred. Mia always wondered what he meant by the demon in their head but slowly after a long process she could finally relate to his tale. Demons were metaphors for self-doubt and inner anger, and it didn't matter whether you had the purest soul in the world…everyone can become corrupted even before birth. Born into a broken family, home, world can destroy anyone which is why he mentioned wit or intelligence. If you were smart enough to not let that demon cloud your judgment that makes you a survivor. Then Mia smiled and remember the poem she wrote in school in her last year. It somewhat resembled her fathers' ideals. They were very alike after all.

'I am quiet, I am bleak. My presence is strong, some may seek. You cannot catch me although I am there, I am thicker than blood yet thinner than air. You may feel the tingle run down your spine, you look at your friend and tell them your fine. You are a liar, a fake a muse. When your lips aren't smiling you leave it confused. You may know what I am or be totally lost because this sneaky creature does not come without cost. Sleep calm and soundly while bracing the storm, you won't know I'm there until you are worn.'

Mia poem detailed unrequited love and abandonment. Those who bury their frustrations deep within and al it takes is that one sudden moment and that fake front you put on will be ripped away leaving your vulnerable. Most people are blind and let the pain simmer on a low heat until one day the gas explodes, or the food goes sour. Either way It will leave you a broken person so instead of pretending your fine, it's better to vent it out before it swallows you whole. Some feeling cannot be resurrected and so are buried deep beneath and covered in concrete. You will never win.

Mia looked up at the sunset orange glow cast upon the sand reminiscing some nostalgic memories. Yu and Aiden would probably be worried sick by now but at that time she wanted to be selfish and let them suffer a little. It was her punishment to keep them in the dark. Closing her eyes, the sound of sea spray hitting the nearby rocked and pitter patter on the rusty sand soothed her. Gulls called out above and faint whispers of the wind tickled her ears. Serenity was the best way to describe the feeling inside of her. But serenity only lasted so long.

"Doctor James?" Mia jumped slightly and gripped the sand in between her fingers and beneath her nails in frustration. Why could she just be left alone? However, her visitor was not one she was expecting. Mia lazily opened her eyes which widened upon impact seeing a woman she barely recognised anymore.

"Taira?" Oh, how the past always saves you, Mia thought. How could she forget the house call that started all of this?

"You've got leave, that's good to hear." Taira looked away in distain, Mia couldn't help but feel confused seeing the frown on her lips. Shouldn't she be pleased? Perhaps she felt somewhat responsible for what Sam did to her. Mia was about to console her when she sprung up hugging her like it was her last bout. Mia sat there frozen feeling the waves splash against her feet. Ah, such a subtle sensation, at least she could feel cold.

"You saved us! I wanted to save you too but they wouldn't tell me where you were. I was desperate so I asked for temporary leave so I could look for you, I'd just given up when I saw you in the distance. I thought I was going crazy!" Mia slowly relaxed and felt a warm sensation in her chest. Taira had gone out of her way just to see her, it looked like the patient had become the clinician.

"Maybe it was fate…because in my head I was asking for someone to save me. You have good intuition." Taira squeezed her harder nuzzling her face into Mia's stomach, at that moment the painful throbbing seemed to disappear under her weight.

"It's okay he can't hurt us anymore, there's no way he will get away with this. If I had known, he was in the clinic I would have helped you." Mia chuckled; she knew that without a doubt because Taira was strong. I guess her son fuelled that fire inside of her to survive. The same as Aiden was her fire.

"I wouldn't doubt that statement for a second, your stronger than me Tiara. I knew from the moment I saw Hiro in your arms that day I came to help." Taira body shuddered as she began to sob. Mia couldn't believe she would shed tears for her and genuine ones at that. Thinking about it considerably Yu had shared those same tears. Mia wanted to know something delicate to her.

"Taira are you angry?" Her body stopped crying as she looked up with big brown eyes stained with red sores from crying, she looked slightly stunned as if not expecting that question. Since approaching her Tiara could tell the usually alert Doctor James was dazed as if waiting for something.

"Of course, I'm angry. You didn't deserve that, any of it. He's been a thorn in your side since high school, right? You have every right to be angry." Mia settled against the sand allowing her elbows to penetrate the hard sand beneath her. It hit her like a ton of bricks…she had every right to be angry. Mia didn't have to forgive him at all, this was her battle and her verdict. Yet she had been suppressing her emotions to seem strong so obsessed with not being weak.

"Your right…I'm not just angry I'm pissed. Come on I'll walk to back to the facility." Mia lifted Taira up giving her signature smile to ease her worries. Concern can be heart-warming or shortcoming, would Tiara of found her if she hadn't also been a victim. Mia didn't really care anymore; this was enough to fuel herself. As they slowly walked back neither of them said a word, Mia was so deep in thought she forgot the way. Taira and her both walked down a back alley to cut through, leave times were almost over and if Taira was late it was jurisdiction to remove her privileges. Mia started thinking about her fear and what exactly was stopping her from facing him in court. Sam hadn't won…Mia had.

"Oi Oi, what are two high class ladies such as yourselves doing here?" Taira gasped and took a few steps back. Whereas Mia who was still in a daze continued walking until her head bumped something hard. As she regained her senses, she looked up to see a group of very strong men smoking in the alley. At first, she couldn't wrap her head around what was going on, this wasn't the way to the clinic?

"Sorry, we'll be leaving now." Tiara said fearfully. Mia glanced at her coldly as if crying to communicate something. In these sorts of situations, you had to be careful with how you spoke, signs of fear where somewhat erotic to delinquents like them.

"What's the rush?" One of them slipped past Mia and grabbed Tiara by the arm, Mia could see her trauma rise to the survive as her knees began to give out. Both of them were damaged goods and due to Mia's negligence, they were sheep in a wolf's den. Mia glanced around until she et eyes with a tall black-haired man at the back who seemed to look her up and down.

"Hold up, isn't that the chick from the TV?" Mia felt her teeth chatter, so they already knew she'd been a victim, that made it so much more exciting for twisted men. Mia didn't want Taira to get hurt so began deducting the situation. Although they were surrounded both women were nimble and quick. Muscle was heavy and enduring so a fight would be pointless. Mia opened her mouth to talk when the backdoor of the alley swung wide open. Most likely the leader began conversing with him, but Mia couldn't make out their voices nor see the man who just emerged.

"Thanks Doc, we'll pay you well." Doc? This man was a doctor? Mia switched into survival mode and decided to attract their attention while Taira got away. It was common gangs would migrate around the city looking for their next fix, but these guys seemed different. Mia knew the behaviour of those under the influence of drugs.

"Tell me what sort of buzz you get from abusing the weak?" All of them turned their heads in awe, she sure had a hard tongue.

"Is it for dominance, superiority or pure sadist pleasure. I'm interested, you know I'm a doctor, right? Why don't you share your secret with me?" All of them began chuckling apart from the mysterious doctor still swept in the shadows. Night-time was approaching quickly and so was her time. The man apprehending Taira loosened his grip and grabbed Mia instead. Looks like muscle heads were stupid after all. Mia looked at Taira and mouthed carefully to run while they were all focused on her. Mia swung back round to face the leader.

"So, it was you after all? You have a fetish for being stabbed or something?" Slowly he whipped out a swiss army blade and stroked the hair on her head, Mia felt her stomach convulse as the sickness returned. This was the worst time to have an episode, she needed to keep it together. Mia bravely quivered a smile.

"Not really, I'm just trying to work people like you out for my own mental clarity. When I see a blade, I see an asshole looking for excitement. Is that your intention?" They all began grunting I discomfort; Mia was amazing at hiding fear. Luckily humans couldn't smell it.

"Big mouth for such a little woman, maybe you deserved what you got?" Mia felt her anger flare up, deserved? What a stupid testament, nobody deserved grievous bodily harm. Not even Sam, that would make her just as despicable as him.

"Huh? Are you implying I'm annoying? I get that a lot, I don't need you to tell me. So…what are you going to do, you don't have much time left." All of them looked either confused or itching to hurt her, Mia glanced around until her eyes caught something interesting. Against, the dirt stained door stood someone familiar to her. That hair and coat, she had seen him before…

"What are you talking about we have all the time in the world?" Mia quickly drew her attention to the leader; he had a scar on his left eyes and a dragon tattoo peaking from under his tank top…Yakuza. That meant these men were some of Lang Hai's, this was more trouble than she was expecting. If news got back, she'd challenged them again god only knew what type of war he would wage.

"If only. My friend ran away a long time ago, the police are probably already on their way. I'm under protection of police custody so hurt me if you like. I'm sure Lang Hai will be pleased you've attracted their attention." Suddenly, the man fearfully backed off. Mention of the boss's name outside of Yakuza territory was forbidden and Mia knew this. Aiden had filled her in on their laws after being involved with them previously. Know thy enemy, a very powerful phrase.

"How do you know the boss?" Mia smirked feeling their grip loosen, perhaps they believed she was important to him?

"I've met with him on numerous occasions, he's an acquaintance of my fiancée's. Your familiar with the Li family, right?" They all seemed to twist their faces in hatred, the message of being untouchable worming their way into her brains. It was a solid plan but sadly had an unexpected loophole. Yet again the squeaky hinges of the back door sprung open almost knocking the doctor off his feet. As his face finally found the light Mia's body went numb. Kira Haruki…the new head of Accident and Emergency, the one she'd clashed with at the meeting. No wonder he seemed so suspicious to her; he was working for the Yakuza. The shocking events didn't stop there as she met eyes with the man emerging from the dark. Of all people, it had to be him that saw her. Akira's eyes also widened seeing a fellow doctor in their presence.

"You've got to be sh*tting me? Mia is that you?" Lang Hai spoke quite casually as if she were an old friend. Mia didn't know what to do, that protective layer she'd formed would rip if he exposed their relationship as rivals.

"Long time no see Lang Hai. How's business?" she said sarcastically, he smirked before squaring off face to face yet again. This time Mia didn't have the strength nor availability to fight back. She may as well hit a brick wall.

"Even with your injuries your still as beautiful as ever. Shame your with Aiden or we could have had some fun." His men gasped looking at her in a different light, Mia was confused. Did Aiden's name install fear into them?

"Alright were done here so nobody lay a hand on the princess ir we'll be in real bother. See ya Mia." They all put their guard down and waltzed straight by her as if she were air, Mia spun around still unsure if they would really let her go but as a black van pulled p and they all climbed inside she was left alone in the alley still in shock she was still breathing. Finally, her legs collapsed beneath her and she could breathe again. However, she'd disregarded one important person.

"Mia? What the f*ck are you doing here?" his voice was hoarse and trembling, she sat down and swung around to his position, he was shaking holding a brown envelope in his hand clearly money. How could he do such a thing? He was a respectable doctor…

"I could ask you the same thing. It's Haruki, right?" he sighed and also slumped down to the floor.

"So, you do know my name after all. This is troublesome." He chuckled painfully; she could sense his despair feeling his career go out of the window. Mia recalled back to their last chat. Akira had asked her if she held a grudge against him and if she remembered him at all…

"I pay attention in meetings. I have another question and if you answer me honestly you might get to keep your job." She said threateningly, his face went pale with reason as the fault sunk in.

"Not here…Central Park at 9pm tomorrow night. I'll tell you where we know eachother." He stood up and walked past her nonchalantly leaving an eerie feeling in her gut. Surely it wasn't so secret she had to meet privately. Just how far did this rabbit hole stretch? It wasn't long before a police car pulled up along with a very frantic Aiden and Yu. They swept her off her feet and walked her on to the street assessing if she had any injuries. Mia was still slightly in shock but when Aiden's arms wrapped around her it was like her safety blanket coated her tightly. She couldn't reveal what had just happened meaning she would have to lie yet again.

"I'm fine guys. Trust me."