It had been three weeks since the attack with Edgar happened. Everyone agreed that space and time would help heal half of the problem. At least the physical parts of us all. I wanted to confront Tony I wanted to rip right through him for lying to me but after everything that happened, I didn't have the strength. I was weak both mentally and physically, Charles had decided he'd stay with one of the guys to give Emily space and Tony stopped coming around. Every now and then a few of his men would ride past on their bikes to make sure Emily and I were okay. I felt bad they had to spend their time watching us but it was all Tony's idea, as much as I wanted to tell them they could go they wouldn't disobey his direct orders.
"No! No! Stop! Get off me! STOP!" I jumped awake covered in sweat but a chilling shiver went down my spine. My chest heaved as tears streamed down my face and suddenly Emily burst right through my door. "Hey, hey… you're okay. I'm right here, you're okay…" She slid her way next to me in my bed and took me into her arms as I cried. Every day since I've been home I've had nightmares of Edgar using my body for his pleasure. The feeling of him hovering over me as I struggled against the ropes remained a reminder of how weak I was. I was powerless and vulnerable. Edgar was able to violate me without any problem. I just did nothing...
'Women are too weak to be leaders.' Edgar's voice echoed through my head as Emily held me against her chest. Maybe he was right, maybe I should step down from the gang. It brought me closer to the men and women I loved, building never-ending bonds and a huge family. Yet at the end of the day, I was abducted and raped with ease. In the back of my mind, I knew what I was signing up for but maybe it was too much to handle.
The next morning I woke up to Emily still holding me in her arms. I had fallen asleep right on her chest and I watched as she slept peacefully. A small smile spread across my face and I gently moved a strand of hair from her face. Emily had been my best friend for years and even now she's been at my side through my worst. After I was brought home she stayed by my side as much as she could and took care of me. It was thanks to her that I was feeling so much better. I slowly made my way into the bathroom being sure not to wake her and I looked at myself in the mirror. My bruises were slowly starting to fade away from my cheeks and eyes but they were distinctive. I sighed softly before grabbing some ointment and taking a seat on the counter. I gently started to massage it into my wrist and then my ankles as I winced a bit.
My scars and bruises were a terrible reminder of what had happened to me. Until they went away along with my dreams it seems I wouldn't have any ease in my mind. I heard the floorboards creak and as I looked over at Emily she gave me a weak smile before sitting across from me on the counter.
"Good Morning." "Morning…." There was a bit of silence as i continued to treat my wounds. "How long have you been awake?" "Not too long…" "You're waking up earlier and earlier every day Rachael… have you given any thought about going to see a therapist?" "Emily I'm a gang leader I don't need a therapist. I have to get used to stuff like this if I expect to run the gang." "Get used to it!? You think you should have to get used to being raped?" Her words cut me open like razor-sharp blades as she shouted at me, I hadn't heard it out loud. I hadn't heard anyone else say it, for some reason it seemed so much more real. I felt my mouth go dry as the feeling of Edgar's body overpowering mine washed over me. I look down at my hands as tears welled up in my eyes.
"I'm sorry Rachael I didn't mean to… I was trying… I just want you to be okay." I watched as tears filled her eyes and she shook her head slightly. "It was hell worrying about you and just not knowing if you'd make it out alive. I could barely keep going every day thinking that my best friend could be dead." I scooted closer to her and I hugged her tightly. "But I'm here now Emily." "No you don't get it, I could never imagine how you must have felt or what you went through. You keep comforting others and being strong for others but you can't keep holding that stuff in Rachael. I just want to make sure you're okay this time." I couldn't hold it back anymore, Emily threw her arms around me as I started to my tears pour. We sat on the counter and she held me tightly with my head against her chest.
My vision blurred as the tears just kept coming and coming, I was damaged goods now. I was beaten and violated like I was nothing and right now I felt like nothing. The entire time I was trying to be strong and fight my way to get out of there but there was no hiding it anymore, it had broken me. "I don't know what to do Emily! I can't stop thinking about what he did to me! I was so scared!" "Shh, it's okay, I know. I know Rachael…" Tears started to stream down her cheeks as she continued to hold me. Suddenly the rumbling sound of bikes was heard pulling up to the house. She slowly let me go walked to the window and sighed before looking at me. Before she knew it I jumped off the counter and ran downstairs.
"Rachael wait!" Emily couldn't stop me I was hurting and I was angry my emotions were mixing to make one hell of a bitch cocktail. As I walked out the front door Tony climbed off his bike and I marched right over punching him in his jaw. He groaned a bit before nodding and flexing his jaw a bit. "Okay, I deserved that." "Don't let her hit you like that Tony!" My glance landed on Sabrina on the back of Tony's bike and I clenched my fist. "Who the hell do you think you are to comment on anything between Tony and I?" "His girlfriend, that's who." I returned my gaze to Tony and without hesitation, I took my fist and rammed it right into his stomach my hardest.
He had lied to me, he was the reason I was abducted and after everything, I went through he dared to show up at my house with another female. After everything he would just turn his back on me. My anger blinded everything, I felt stronger than ever. I shoved, punched, and kicked him as hard as I could. Emily blocked Sabrina from me until Charles grabbed me from behind. "Hey! Hey! Easy Rachael… calm down." I managed to pull away from his grasp and glared at him. "Calm down? You want me to calm down Charles!? He's the reason I was abducted! He lied to all of us and because of his fucking family issues I was violated!"
Charles had dropped his head as if it was too painful to even look me in the eye. I turned back to Tony as he spit blood on the ground and he wiped his mouth. "You dare tell me you had feelings for me only to be fighting for her! The entire time I was by your side you were thinking about her!" "Rachael..." "No fuck you, Tony! Fuck off!" As much as I wanted to punch him again I just clenched my fist and walked inside slamming the door with all my might. I went straight to my room and I changed into spandex shorts and a hooded crop top before lacing up some old sneakers and grabbing my keys. My anger was boiling to the surface and soon enough I was worried I'd do something I couldn't control and I'd regret it. I needed to be alone, so I headed downstairs and outside without saying a word to anyone I got in my car and sped off.
BAM
BAM BAM
BAM BAM BAM BAM
My fist connected with the swinging punching bag as I dodged it back and forth. The gym was empty, I had made sure of it. I couldn't have taken the risk of putting my anger onto someone else. "Those are some impressive moves, although you're shifting your weight wrong." I stopped and grabbed the punching bag as I turned to look behind me. Charles was standing in basketball shorts with a fitted shirt and he gave me a slight smile. "I knew I'd find you here." I just shook my head and went back to focusing on the punching bag. Each hit made my sore arms numb but I didn't care, I knew my body was still healing but I needed to feel something, anything.
"Look Rachael I know you don't want to talk right now and I understand how angry you are, but Tony thought she was dead." I listened as his footsteps started coming closer and I hit harder trying to drown out the sound of his voice. "Rachael you know no matter what I'd protect and care for you. I wouldn't just be okay with him hurting you if it was intentional. Yes, he lied about Edgar but I'm sure for good reason." I clenched my fist tighter and I hit harder sending all my force into my punches. "He didn't choose what family he came from Rachael, but he proved where it was he wanted to be." "Why are you justifying his actions!?" My screams echoed through the quiet gym as I turned my attention to Charles. He let out a soft sigh and took a step closer.
"I'm not, but he fought against his brother to help save you. If he was against us I don't think things would have gone down the way they did." "It's more than that!" I swung aiming straight for Charles' head and to no surprise he caught it. My breathing was heavy as he held my hand looking into my eyes. "You know I love you as my little sister Rachael, I need you to trust me on this." I hesitated for a moment before yanking my hand away and going for another punch but he dodged it. "You're letting your anger overtake you, it's giving away all your moves. Breathe, relax, and think okay…" I watched as he got into a fighting stance and I took a quiet deep breath before attacking.
I went to throw a punch and just as Charles moved I nailed him right in the gut and he smirked. "Alright, you wanna play? Let's play." Charles grabbed my arms and flipped me over his shoulder with ease. I hit the mat with a loud thud and I wrapped my legs around his arm before bringing him down under me. I yanked his arm as I pressed my legs against his chest and throat with all my might. "Okay! Okay!" He tapped the mat and I let him go before standing up and offering him my hand. As he rose to his feet he pulled me close and looked into my eyes. "Trust me okay? Hear him out please…" I hesitated as I felt my tears swelling back up and I nodded slowly.
"Fine…" Charles flashed me his perfect smile before we started sparring again. Even though I agreed to hear Tony out there was a great amount of doubt in my heart. It wasn't just the fact that Tony lied or that he was invested in someone else, but also that he was the reason I was abducted. If he had been honest about the link between him and Edgar we would have taken different precautions. He should have known when things get personal your enemy hits you exactly where it hurts. First, Sabrina, his girlfriend was taken then he started getting invested with me without even thinking about my safety.
Of course, Edgar was going to come for me, he should have known and taken it so much more seriously. It was me who paid the price for his carelessness and I was unsure if I could forgive him. Hours later Charles and I were seated at a diner in the middle of town. "You have any idea what you're going to say to him?" I looked into his eyes and then out the window as I sighed softly. "He willingly put me in danger Charles, don't you see that?" "I do and I completely understand, trust me I want to rip his head off too. I also do realize we can't blame him for being a complete idiot. He was being selfish to think about his feelings and not the consequences." I nodded slowly and let out a heavy sigh as my gaze dropped to the table. There was a long moment of silence between the two of us until the waiter brought our food.
"Thank you…" I sipped my coffee and I closed my eyes relaxing a bit more. "Sabrina…" Charles's voice made me open my eyes and look up at him as I took another sip. "She's my ex-fiancé, that's why I decided to move out." "Ex fiancé? Emily hasn't said anything does she know?" He gave me a quick nod. "She knows and that's why I wanted to give her space. Rachael when I told you Tony had done us wrong in the past I meant me. He was always loyal to the gang and Caliber, but one night I came home and found him in bed with her." I slowly set my cup down as I watched his eyes darken and fill with pain and sadness.
"He was my brother I knew I couldn't bring myself to kill him no matter how angry I was, so I set him up. The next day we hit a big job, stealing cash from another gang and I hid some in Tony's bike." "You set him up?" "Yeah, I'm not proud of it but I told Caliber I overheard Tony talking about stealing and I told him where the money was. When he found it I ended up shooting Tony and Caliber banner him from the gang…" "Tony told me when we first met that the altercation was because some money went missing, does he know you were the one who did it?" Charles ran his hand through his hair and nodded. "Yeah the last thing I said to him was that he should think before fucking someone's wife again and after that, I never saw him or her again until he turned up at the club that night."
I looked down at my plate taking in everything Charles had told me. Tony was never unloyal to the gang, he was a shitty friend and made a stupid mistake but it seemed like he was famous for those. "I just thought you'd like to know the whole truth about him before you had that talk with him." I have Charles a weak smile and I nodded before we both started eating and enjoying our breakfast. Maybe I could forgive Tony, or maybe it was best for me and my gang that we kept our distance. Whatever the outcome was going to be we'd find out soon enough.