"Well, actually. There is someone," Nick said with a smile
"Oh hoho. Who could it be, to be able to win the friendship of my dear, socially anxious, baby brother?" Devin wondered. He raised his hand to his face and made as if to stroke an imaginary beard.
Nick blushed slightly and murmured, "He's not exactly~ my friend yet... But I'd like him to be! A-and we converse sometimes."
"Oh, so it is a very special~ friend," He teased, knowing full well his brother's preferences, "One that starts with a 'c' and ends with a 'rush'... Eeep!"
Devin yelped as Nick came up next to him and gave him a strong shove, knocking him to the floor. Nick then snuggled into the bed's blankets and grinned. He stuck his tongue out at Devin and pushed his brother off, foiling his attempt to retake the bed. Devin eventually gave in and retrieved a spare blanket from the closet. He sat down on the couch opposite the bed.
"Really though. Who is it? What's he like?" He asked after finishing setting up a makeshift bed on the couch.
Nick happily sat up to converse, ignoring the fact that he had just kicked his brother off of his own bed. "He's really quiet. And he's super cute! Like, incredibly cute. He has dark, red-brown hair, and really big Amber eyes. He always wears thick rimmed glasses and pins his hair out of his face with a bobby pin.
He's super studious, but also kinda gloomy. But you should see the way he used to light up when he got top grade! And when he was working on a group project, he became extremely serious. He did a complete 180° from his usual, introverted self, and would become almost like a leader. He's so cool, but also cold." Nick realized how much he had said in a single breath, and heat rose to his face.
'Seems my brother is unusually infatuated with this boy. I'll see for myself whether he's worthy of the care or not later.' A question struck Devin soon after the thought. He mentioned, "Past tense? What happened?"
Nick's face seemed to loose it's luster and he turned gloomy. "That's the thing! All of a sudden, he was absent for around 3 weeks. After that, he changed. He stopped participating in group activities, and he no longer cares about his grades, though he still studies a lot."
"If he still studies a lot, then how do you know that he doesn't care about his grades anymore?" Devin wondered.
Nick frowned as he replied with, "He doesn't smile anymore when the teacher calls his name for top student, or top grade. He also stopped listening during class, instead reading textbooks or novels."
An eyebrow rose on Devin's face. He stared at his brother with a dubious expression. "That's still a wild conclusion to jump to. I think that you are way over analyzing this." Nick glared at him and Devin raised his hands in a conceding gesture. "Okay, okay. Something's wrong with him, I get it. You know him better than I do, I'm just giving you my opinion. What's his name, anyway?"
Nick regained his normal happy attitude and replied, "Luke Servelious."
Devin froze, halfway through a yawn, and started coughing. "Wh-what! Are you sure?!" Nick nodded his head in confusion.
Devin stared at his brother incredulously, hardly believing him. A look of interest flashed across his face.
Nick frowned. "What? Do you know him?"
"Nope, I've just heard of him." Devin replied.
Nick perked up. " Then, do you know what happened to him?"
"Yep, but I'm not telling you," Devin saw the look of anger on Nick's face, so explained. "It wouldn't be fair to expose his personal life to a stranger. He'll tell you if he wants you to know."
'And besides, it'll be interesting to see how you deal with him. I wonder if you'll be able to crack his barrier. Probably not.... It's not that simple to get over loosing a family member. Especially the whole family. I know first hand. After all, that's what happened to mom. And well, see how she turned out?' A small half smile came into existence on his face as he looked forward to a good story that would come from his brother's attempt to 'befriend' a newly made orphan.
Nick, on the other hand, deflated. "I guess that makes sense," He muttered gloomily.
"Hey, cheer up, bro!" Devin consoled, "Who knows, maybe this time you'll actually get a boyfriend!"
Nick's frown deepened and he curled up into a ball, turning his back on his idiot brother. 'Ah, mierda*, definitely shouldn't have brought that up. I'm an idiot. I am an absolute moron! Why would I bring this up now, of all times!??' Devin face palmed at his own stupidity.
"Sorry," He tried, "I didn't mean to... Uhmm, yeah. Well, you get it, right? I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to mention 'him'." There was no response. "If it makes you feel any better, Luke is completely different from that bast- erm, person. A-and anyways, there's no way you can be so unlucky as to have two terrible first relationships, right?! So, just think of your first one as... a trial run? Getting rid of your bad luck? I don't know..." After a minute of silence, Devin finally gave up. "Well, goodnight..."
Nick, who had already been having a bad day, couldn't wait to sleep away his stress and start a new day. Unfortunately, his thoughts had different ideas. Thanks to his half-wit brother, he couldn't get a certain someone out of his head. And when he finally did sleep, it was far from peaceful.
Late that night, he woke up, a scream half way built in his throat. Tears were forming at his eyes and he was breathing heavily. 'Maldita sea*, do you even have to invade my dreams? Aren't you satisfied enough with torturing me in the waking world? Can't you just leave me alone? For once? Are you going to torment me for the rest of my life?! Please. Just. Go. Away!' Tears streamed down his face as he thought this. He was sitting up on the bed against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest.
Across the room, Devin felt his heart ache. His hands trembled as he resisted the urge to go over and hug his brother close. He wished he could just take away all of Nick's pain, taking it upon himself. He cursed the boy who had left his precious brother traumatized. Nick had enough to deal with, he didn't need this. But Devin cursed himself even more. Cursed himself for bringing 'him' up. Cursed himself for not being able to help his own brother. For knowing that, no matter how hard he tried, he would only serve to make it worse.
Devin hated that he had no way to help his brother, either with their parents or Nick's trauma. He hated that all he could do was allow Nick to stay at his house every few nights. Hated that he could only watch as his only brother trembled and cried.
The next morning, everything was back to normal. Both brothers acting as if nothing had happened the night before. They told their usual jokes and jabs. They smiled and laughed. To anyone else, it would seem to be as average as ever. But to them, it was not. They could feel the slight tension in the air as they had breakfast. They also chose to ignore the red eyes Nick had that came from crying. What was difficult to notice to others, became blaringly obvious in front of those who had known each other their whole lives. Each one could feel the slightest changes in the other and they were as close as brothers could be.
So, they both knew well enough by now to not talk about what had happened the night before. They wiped the memory from their minds and continued on with life. Both brothers had the same thought, as they often did. 'No use dwelling on the past. It was best to move forward when you could, and let time heal it when you couldn't.' There was no use for meaningless talk. They just moved on. Maybe not the best way to look at life, but it had let them survive everything that was thrown at them so far. It was a philosophy learned through years of heartache and difficulties. It was a concept formed by the hands of experience, and they trusted it more than some flimsy ideal. It was how they lived life, and it would not change for anything... Or so they thought.
They didn't understand, no. Couldn't understand that, sometimes, time wasn't enough. That sometimes, more was needed than silent sympathy. Sometimes, you couldn't just live with it and move on. No, doing that would just let some wounds fester. Those injuries will grow and grow until, finally, you are unable to hide it any longer and it is finally found out. This time, worse than it ever was in the beginning. With those wounds, such a simple thought process will simply lead you to your downfall. They are the ones you can't heal by yourself. The ones that need an experts care. Or at least the care of someone careful enough not to just make it worse.
Unfortunately, they are also the ones we want to hide most desperately.