October 11 - November 5, 2016
The next day, Jace didn't come to school. He had texted Nick to tell him he was sick and couldn't make it. Nick was relieved. He wanted to talk to Luke without bringing up the drama from the day before.
He was a bit more assertive compared with before, and, due to Luke's slight guilt from the previous day, they actually had a proper talk. Nick was excited and he even got Luke to laugh again.
In the next three weeks and a day, Nick was finally at the point where he allowed himself to call Luke a friend. He would no longer ignore Nick and would even occasionally initiate a conversation himself! That day, Nick was finally ready to ask 'the question'.
They were sitting down on Nick's couch. Nick was sitting up straight, feet on the small table in front of them. Luke had his head resting on Nick's lap and was reading. Despite his original reluctance, he had gotten quite comfortable with Nick and acted as if they had known each other for years. Nick placed his phone down and pushed Luke's book down so that Luke would look at him.
"Luke?" He started.
"Yeah?" Luke didn't think much of Nick's nervous voice, as it was always that way. He was like a tiny puppy, happy if you played with him, tentative to ask questions, but incredibly persistent.
"I was wondering. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but. I- I was wondering if you would tell me what happened to you." Nick winced, as if expecting to get lashed out at.
"???" Luke raised an eyebrow at him. He didn't understand. "What do you mean?"
Nick took a deep breath. "Some months ago, you started acting different in class. I was wondering what had happened to cause you to become so gloomy and reclusive."
"I was always gloomy and reclusive," Luke stated simply as he raised his book once again to read, "I never became more so."
Nick frowned. "I told you that you didn't have to tell me if you didn't want to, you didn't have to lie to me."
Luke glanced at him, turning away from his book. "What?"
Nick smiled. "You always look at the person you are speaking to, but, when you lie, you look anywhere except at the person you're lying to. In this case, you looked at your book."
"Really? I do that?" Luke was surprised.
"Yup," Nick nodded, "Now, I answered your question. Answer mine."
Luke sighed. His face darkened and his eyes turned downwards. He looked longingly at the book, but decided that Nick deserved to know. "9 months ago... I lost my entire family to a car crash."
Nick's eyes widened, but then he just closed them and exhaled soflty. "I had guessed that you lost someone, but I never would have thought... It must have been terrible to lose your whole family in such a short time."
Luke nodded. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes, but he blinked them away. He hadn't cried yet, and he refused to do so just because he felt comfortable with this person. "Actually, not exactly my whole family," He corrected himself, "You know how every other day, I go somewhere?" Nick nodded. "I go to the hospital. My little sister Casey has been in a coma ever since the accident."
Nick frowned. "Do you think she'll wake up?"
Luke laughed dryly. "I have to hope, right? Otherwise, I'll have lost everyone and I really will be alone..."
Nick gazed at the person resting on his lap. He was so obviously trying to keep in tears. His lip trembled and his hands shook. It tore Nick's heart apart to see him like this.
Before he could think about what he was doing, he reached down and swept bangs away from Luke's eyes. He traced his hand down Luke's face, stopping at the chin.
Luke sat up slightly, leaning his elbow where his head used to be and looked at Nick in confusion. Luke tried to ask why he had done that, but before he could, Nick leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. It was quick and simple, their lips barely brushing, but it was enough to have Luke's face fill with the color red.
"You will never be alone." Nick's few words carried heavy implication, deepening Luke's blush and causing him to freeze. How come this cute puppy suddenly turned into a flirtatious beast!!!?! At that moment, Luke's mind caught up with the situation and he jumped up from where he sitting and ran to to the door, completely forgetting his backpack.
He ran down the street, heading home. He realized halfway that the direction he was running didn't go to Selene's, but to his old house. However, Luke didn't stop. He figured it was better to go there than to his current house. He continued running and reached his old house, the only place he had ever called home.
'Home'
As he reached the place, he wondered what it was that made up a home. It wasn't just the place you lived, though that's what people often refer to it as. Home also isn't only the place where you get a warm feeling and feel comfortable in. No, Luke had only realized after his family died what home was, at least for him.
Home was a place where he belonged. It didn't matter if he was angry, sad, or happy. Home was a place where memories, good and bad, were stored. A place where he had gone through challenges and overcame them. A place where he felt he could truly 'live'.
Unlike in Selene's house. Oh, it certainly held memories. But they were not ones that were forged there, but ones that were stolen. At least for Luke. It would be different for Selene and her parents, but for Luke it would always be a place where the memories of his family hung in the air. Put there by Selene, her mom, and even himself. Maybe it could become home, but only if Luke was willing to put an effort into it.
Luke thought of his time spent with Nick. How comfortable he felt. How, in the beginning, he had resisted Nick's exploits. And especially how, in the end, Luke had surrendered and grown close to Nick, Alex, and, even though they still fought sometimes, Jace. They were people he could proudly claim as his friends.
Luke stepped up to the front porch. They had never sold the house, it was too important to Luke for it to simply be given away. It represented all he had done in life, all he had gone through, all he had achieved, all he had loved...
He opened the door with the spare key and stepped into the house for the first time since he had heard of his family's passing. He walked through it. Reliving old memories, happy and sad. Knowing that these times had passed, and that they could never be regained. He walked upstairs. He entered the first room to the right, Mike's room.
Everything was as it had been left. Untouched. As if Mike had just left, and would return any minute. The only evidence of the passing of time, the dust that covered the room from head to toe. Luke picked up a journal which was lying, closed, on the desk. It was a diary. He flipped to a random page and read it's contents.
Dear Diary,
Luke stayed up in his room all day today. Again. Sometimes he worries me. He's never brought a friend over and also never hangs out with people his age. He's always either hanging out with family or studying. Is that normal? Then again, maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe that's just the life of a scholar. Maybe it's the life he wants. But still, I worry. I'm his big brother after all, I want him to be like me. Do sports, hang out with friends, get a girlfriend. But then, he's never wanted to be like me, has he. No, in the end, I'm the one who always aspires to be like him. *sigh* To spend more time with the family, to help out more. And especially to get better grades. Urgh, I definitely need better grades if I want a good job. And I need a good job of I want to be able to provide for me and Selene when we get married. Then again, she has good grades. Maybe she'll be the one providing for the family? But I've always wanted to be a father who provides for his family, a real man, sexist though the wish might be. Speaking of which, I wonder if Selene wants kids. I've never actually asked her, too embarrassing. But-
Luke read through the page with some difficulty, tears threatening to fall from his eyes once more. He had always tried to keep his family from worrying about him, but it somehow touched him and made him feel loved to know that Mike had cared so much for him. He spent the night in his old room, texting Selene so she knew where he was.
The next morning, Luke woke up and made his bed. He explore the house a bit more, looking through his family members' rooms, reading a bit more of Mike's diary. He checked every nook and cranny, as if searching for something.
As he walked out the front door at half past noon, he took one last glance at the house behind him. That place would always be a home to him. A place of memories and a place of family. But, as he thought about his new friends as well as Nick, he realized that he had a new home. In his friendships with them. As he thought about the day before, heat rose to his head. Maybe as more than a friend, in the case of Nick.
He stared at his childhood home, etching this scene into his memory. He knew that the memories of his past, his family, and the pain of loosing them would always be a part of him. But he also knew that, though his grief had barely diminished and he was unsure whether it would ever fully fade, that it was time to begin the healing process. It was time to exit the second to last phase of grief, and enter into the beginnings of the next and final stage. Acceptance.
Alternate Ending:
Nick peered into the eyes of his crush. Luke was so obviously trying to keep from crying, bottom lip trembling, hands shaking. Nick used the side of his hand and turned Luke's face towards his. Luke sat up, leaning on his elbow which was placed where his head used to be. He raised an eyebrow towards Nick, asking a silent question. Nick slowly pulled Luke's face closer to his.
"Wh-What are you doing?" Luke said, slightly flustered.
Nick pulled his face ever closer, until a slight movement was all it would take for their faces to touch. "Isn't it obvious?," He started, his breath washing over Luke's face. He searched Luke's face, turning it up, down, and all around. Examining every inch of it, "I'm.... tryin to figure out what people see in you..."
"..."