Joke:

Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

A. Aye Matey! (I'm eighty)

Shower Thought (ST):

Those bitches on the magic school bus never signed a single permission slip.

Sh*tty Life Pro Tip (SLPT):

At night, leave your front door slightly open. If a thief comes into your house and robs you, they'll close the front door. That's how you know you got robbed.