Tang Yian had never been one hundred percent sure that Lu Xiaoling would marry him again until he had plucked up the courage to propose.
At first, he had been worried that despite their improving relationship in the present, their past fights would come to overwhelm them and they would break as they had when they were young. But this wasn't the only problem...
Ever since Xu Shen had left, Lu Xiaoling had seemed a bit somber and incomplete. Tang Yian couldn't blame either her or Xu Shen for this because they had been together for years... and no one could erase the presence of the other that the both of them had gotten used to over the years. Though, this thought, bread other questions and fears.
In his younger days, Tang Yian hoped to be Lu Xiaoling's first and only love. Up until he had lost his memory he had hoped this.
But what if Lu Xiaoling's affection belonged wholly to Xu Shen, what if by getting a divorce she had realized where her heart truly belonged?
These thought kept the man at an impasse for way too long. And they plagued him the most when Lu AnLing had left.
Without their daughter to connect them, it was just Tang Yian and Lu Xiaoling; a man and a woman. With no real connections except for a painful past.
And despite the fact that Lu Xiaoling had accepted his proposal, Tang Yian still wanted to rewrite this.
Sitting across from Lu Xiaoling as they ate dinner, Tang Yian gazed upon the woman's small face as she elegantly cut her meat.
He examined the woman's face and smiled kindly.
Lu Xiaoling blushed under Tang Yian's gaze but to cover this up, she frowned and said, "What are you staring at?"
"You." Tang Yian said simply.
Hearing such a straightforward answer, she frowned even more and then she said, "take a picture, it'll last longer!"
To her childish remark, Tang Yian laughed.
Tang Yian always felt younger in the presence of Lu Xiaoling. She was never changing with him.
Tang Yian was going to retort and keep the bantering between the two going but suddenly, his phone rang.
"Father?" Tang Yian said when answering the phone. There was slight worry in his voice.
Elder Tang: "Yian... I would like to speak to you."
Looking down at Lu Xiaoling, Tang Yian frowned slightly, "...Nows a bit..."
Hearing the hesitance, Elder Tang sighed, "it's fine... you don't need to come now. It's just... what I have to say is important... but it can wait..."
It was obvious that Elder Tang was trying to guilt trip him. It was so obvious that the old man's words made his ears burn.
However, no matter what Tang Yian wanted to spend more time with Lu Xiaoling but seeing that he was unable to say no, Lu Xiaoling gave a simple smile and said,
"It's okay."
Hearing this, Tang Yian sighed and then he said, "I'll be there soon."
***
Tang Yian had barely spoken to his father but this wasn't out of the ordinary. The both of them had always been somewhat awkward around each other and so, it was today, when his father had approached him had Tang Yian felt truly uncomfortable.
"Yes father?" Tang Yian replied stiffly.
Looking at his son dead in the eyes, the old man sighed. "Come."
Tang Yian's body stiffened more than it hard when he had heard his father call him over. Yet, the man still found the strength and will to walk over to the man.
Elder Tang told his son to sit down but Tang Yian could not bring himself to do that, instead, he frowned slightly.
"What's wrong?" Tang Yian said with hesitation in the back of his throat.
"Wrong? Nothing really... there is just something I would like to share with you." Elder Tang said nonchalantly. He seemed completely calm and composed, and yet, inside, his heart was beating in a frenzy.
To that reply,Tang Yian stayed silent.
Sensing that his son was completely passive at the moment, Elder Tang ribbed his palms together and took a deep shaky breath.
Elder Tang: "I have decided to go live in France..."
"...with AnLing?" Tang Yian said, practically finishing the man's sentence.
Elder Tang nodded.
"Do the kids know about this?" Tang Yian asked quickly.
Elder Tang shook his head. "Not yet."
"Then did you tell AnLing about your plans?" Tang Yian said. As he said this, his jaw clenched unintentionally.
Tang Yian wanted to visit his daughter and yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. She had a better life now, with a husband and children and they were happy. Without him and the rest of the people they had left behind. That was their plan after all. So he couldn't help but feel a little frustrated at his father's decision but at the same time, looking at Elder Trang's obsidian eyes which seemed to be so alive and full of emotion, Tang Yian could only question him; not accept his decision, nor refute it.
"You know, if you're doing this out of pure regret for not being there for her, AnLing won't accept your request." Tang Yian said. His voice raising ever so slightly. At first, it sounded like annoyance, but the way the man's eyes glistened slightly showed his worry.
As much as their relationship had deteriorated after the years, he didn't want his father to be hurt. It wasn't Lu AnLing's duty to accept the man's request. They had only met and become a family recently, and so, he wasn't sure how filial Lu AnLing was to the Tang family.
This was purely his fault. Tang Yian realized this and so, he felt the need to bring rationality.
Looking at his son, Elder Tang felt a tug at his heart. It had been a while since he seen such care but due to their everyday relationship, Elder Tang's body unconsciously stiffened and he rolled his eyes.
Realizing what he had done, the old man cursed himself internally.
"I know that..." Elder Tang replies after a while. Trying to soften his voice. "I'm not doing it because of guilt. This is something I want to do..."
Tang Yian was not wholly convinced and he was going to say so, but before he could, Elder Tang continued to speak.
"You know... France was where your Mother was born and raised. It's the country that made her and the country where her ashes lie. And out of some cosmic coincidence it was the country that your daughter was placed and then country which she has decided to return to and raise her children... it's like a second home." Elder Tang spoke these words with a clear voice. Full of passion, despite how soft he spoke. "I want to be there too."
Tang Yian looked at his father without retorting.
If there was one thing Elder Tang could do seamlessly without fault, it was this. Convincing someone of his intentions with no room left for discussion.
After a small bit, Elder Tang sighed.
"I'll tell her at your wedding." Elder Tang said. After saying this, Elder Tang walked over to his son. His cane clacking slightly on the floor as he approached and then the old man put at hand on his shoulder and said, "congratulations on your marriage son. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you and Xioaling will forever be happy."
Hearing this, Tang Yian felt as if he had been struck in the heart with an arrow. He was complete frozen and then, suddenly, he felt a rush of blood warm his heart and travel up to his head, gathering around his eyes, before they began to water. He felt heavy hearted as if he was going cry but then suddenly, he stopped himself.
"Thank you father." Tang Yian said giving his father a happy yet fatigued smile.