after typing something in the tablet, she put in back down and started talking about her day. some gossip about korean actors and new release anime episode of her favorite anime. The desserts and drinks came, kaori ordered me a cup of cookies and cream Milktea with lots of AD's on chocolate syrup the way i order it everytime. the cake is a soft roll Caramel cake with a chocolate leaves design atop, as for kaori as usual espresso and overload cake.
we talked more about certain things about the upcoming joint business between our friends when i notice the way kaori look at me
"Spill it Mei-mei, just look at you; one look and i can already predict you have a problem" kaori said as she put down her phone. looking at my face intensely, scrutinizing my face for the answer.
i signed and looked at my bestfriend helplessly, i really can't escape this girls eye
"Promise me you won't laughed or judge me or something" i said meekly
"okay... just what is it exactly, don't make it long and be straight to the point you know i dont like ths kind of atmosphere" kaori said, feeling that my emotions are in disarray making her nervous too, for me
"I....I met him.." i stammered, as i know Kaori would get mad as she thinks im obsessing over brother yi again.
"Him? who?" she asked curiously then her face darkened "The guy you've been obsessing?" she hissed, clearly is not approved of the thought of the guy
"Don't be like that kao, you know im the only one in love and he is not at fault" i hurriedly said, as i dont want her to think of brother yi in a bad way
she just crossed her arms under her breasts and looked at me in darkened looked and then sign helplessly
"You know i dont like you obsessing to someone, whom obviously you don't know personally and neither him knowing you. I'll hate him of possibility of hurting you unknowingly but i can't blame him; for you are the one, sure be the penetrator of your own hardship" she said and the darkened Look change into a worried one
"I know.." i bowed my head and look at the cake as i played the fork in my plate "I just got a chance to be his wife and... and i can't help of wanting it..." my voice totally became so low, even me don't even hear myself.
"You.... just what is happening really?" kaori was totally shocked, dont know if she heard me clearly but just from her high pitch reaction; she definitely hear it!
"I....`" i closed my eyes and feel my heart, if i really dont want or want it. Picture of everything from my parents death, me having mental issues because of that, the handsome guy whom take his time to slowly help me pass the critical stage of my mental disarray, the caring and happy smile.
yup, i already know the answer but I'm just hesitating because i dont want to selfishly pushed myself to him.
i don't want him to hate me, to disgust and avoid me.
my love for him is deeper than that.
I'm obsessed with him.