"Think of you as in?"
He only blinked, protruding his lips to a pouty shape.
"Oh well, you are for sure handsome. I mean who can deny that?"
"And?"
"And, you're nice and fun to be around too! There's that reason why you have so many fans."
"I'm not talking about the mass, but you."
"Me?"
"What do you think of me?"
"Oh." The sudden arrival of the question had me startled. Every knick-knack on my desk started to become my point of focus immediately, I quickly looked back at what was in my hand, engaging in an arduous, abortive toil to pore over, "What do I think? I think the same."
"Nothing else?"
"What else do you want me to think of you as?"
"Do you not find me attractive?" He uttered loud and clear, with no stutters this time. I was caught in surprise, failing to look him in the eyes as he did, fixing his eyes unwavering, demanding, at me.
"Y-yeah, you are attractive for sure. I uh-" I rummaged through the office supplies to get something more to have my hands stocked to meanwhile divert the course, "I have some works left to do. If you-"
"How much attractive? More attractive than anyone else?"
"I need to finish some work, Jimin-"
"Reply to my question, I'll stop." The ambiance suddenly started to get humid, aiding with nothing to ease off the heat struck within.
"What kind of question is even that? What reply do you want from me?" I slurred out in detonating exasperation. He gazed at me for some time, then looked away.
"Don't you know what kind of reply I want?" His face was turning into a shade darker than crimson, with an expression coming in a motley of intensity, anger, and vulnerability afloat, "Or do you just not want to?" He took a pause to breathe out slowly, "You had told me something back then - how you and I are so different...and you didn't wanna run anymore."
I silently waited for him to finish, for I couldn't perceive which direction he was leading the conversation towards.
"What are you running away from?" He gazed intensively with his kryptonite eyes, cocooning with such intimacy and assurance that he was so keen to hear. I didn't want this. I feared it the most.
"You had just said we are going to leave the incident behind and move on." I said, "You said you were impulsive, that you had meant nothing of what had happened. Then why are you bringing this back now?"
He lowered his gaze, saying nothing back for some time. "I lied...I lied, Y/N."
"What do you mean?" My hands started shaking from what emotions rushing back in the fore. It was the same feeling back, the premonition that I was about to lose it again. I felt my eyes red, soul blue, purple my veins with fast commencement of bloodstream to cause wreak havoc in my taxing heart.
"No matter how much I try, I'm the one who's back to square one."
"Jimin." I let my voice reverberate enough in the room, "Then don't be back to square one."
"Because then again, I have not much choice." He stood up taut, coming closer to my desk, "I have millions to say, so do you have to confess."
"What confession?" Apprehension captured me. He was in another mind, perhaps hearing nothing of my saying, talking to himself, "I am going nuts. And I don't know what is getting me so fanatic. I used to think I knew myself so well. Heck, I don't even know what is this thing about you that makes me so-" He stopped, "Tell me." His eyes shone of crystals of the desperation of nothingness. The enigma he was, would give out nothing but was demanding. "Even if you have to spit the worst straight to my face. Maybe, maybe, hearing what you think might give me a hint to my own answer. Who am I to you?"
I couldn't understand half of what he was saying, "You're an idol and I'm a part of the staff. I've repeated myself twice the damn time. Finding you attractive or not or whatever the else you want as your answer should not come as an expected from my side to your qu-"
"Screw that." He hissed.
"Screw what?"
"Screw your goddamn lecture of our working relationship. I don't care who you are and whether you work for me or shit."
"Then start to care about it." I replied, "Don't be such a dolt."
"Is the guy you're seeing is this great?"
"It's time we stopped the conversation." I picked up my stuff and was going to open the door to leave, in a trice, I felt a tug on my arm as I was pushed back and found myself standing with Jimin in front of me, his face above mine keeping a few inches of angular height.
"Stop ignoring me when I'm talking to you."
"What do you even want? If you ask me those goddamn questions again, I am not gonna reply."
"You have to."
"Make me."
Pindrop quietude grappled the room. I tried to perceive what he was up to scrutinizing his countenance. His eyes of fume gave out nothing besides. Looking down at his hand holding me, I tried to release myself.
"You do...you must do..." He spoke under his breath.
"Do what?"
His face snuggled closer, deleting the required space in between, mingling our breaths together enough for our lungs to start suffocating already. I tried to move back, "What are you doing?"
"Does your heart race as fast as now when you're with him?" He whispered, "I can hear the fast rhythm of beats even from up here." My orbs fixated appalled at him, body numb at its position, totally stiffened and off guard by my nervous system.
"Does your face flush so red as now when you see him too?"
My throat all perched up, my head leaving behind only a vacuous mind in a juddering state, "You have n-no idea what y-you-" I gulped while trying to keep my face all impassive. That was an immediate fail.
He smiled arcanely as if picking up my lies and throwing them to a bin, "Or is there even a 'he' existing in real life other than your statement?"
I tried to object yet on that, knowing how vain an attempt that would be, "Ji-" my lips shut themselves allowing no syllables to be further elicited. He seemed to have waited for a second for a reaction. This specific tugging moment of time dilation spoke everything. One constant eye contact, exhales, all buffering for the longest second, and the ringing white noise canceling everything out, an expected outcome at the end. When I tried to speak again, words got stuck, as his nose touched the tip of mine, lips enveloping my shivering ones.
And it stopped ticking after that.