After lunch was brought back and cooked. Kibbles, Puff and I started to talk about our next steps. I couldn't quite figure out the exact emotion that I felt when I used magic. Every time I cast magic I felt like I was floating. Like nothing mattered, as if I were meaningless and everything around me would disappear in a puff of smoke.
All that I felt was a slight burn that would course through my veins like a stream and exit through my hands. If I used magic to hear the thrum of the earth the burn would travel to my feet, ears and nose instead.
Trying to explain this to Kibbles was difficult at best, close to impossible at worst. He had spent the entirety of lunch telling me all he had to do was imagine a hot day and his powers would work. Since I had been asleep he had become much better at mastering them and even learnt his first spell, fireball.
He lit the fire with ease and had even picked up juggling flames. Puff as we all still called the elder ent, had told me that each experience is unique to the user and that is why this test is implemented in the first place.
" You are literally soul searching for the answer" Puff had finished on. Which in the end wasn't much help. In the end, we decided to break camp for a bit to go exploring. The soul scape was vast. So finding the correct emotion was like finding a needle in a haystack.
We looked near rivers for spirit beasts, in caves that we had found, and even checked the monkeys that we had first encountered. Although they were easy to beat now, none of them had resonated with me as Puff told me the beast would.
This continued on for some time, we decided that we would check new areas way out into the distance. There was no point in Kibbles and Puff travelling alone so we packed several days worth of food into makeshift bags and headed out.
It seemed the further we went out the more barren the world around us became. The soul scape had gone from a vibrant and lively place to an area filled with scorched earth and dead trees.
" I don't think this place is it Yuki!" Kibbles said slightly frightened.
" We should probably press forward anyway" Puff retorted.
As I looked around, the colour seemed to drain from the world. From vibrant greens, the earth had gone a deep brown. The sky had become a deep red and it was entirely uninviting.
" What do you think of when you see this place? " Puff said as we walked.
Kibbles stuck next to me, most likely unhappy with the land around him.
This place had made me really uncomfortable.
" Is this really part of my soul? " I said gloomily.
" Mm it is a place that reflections your emotions just as much as anywhere else. You may have forgotten this place, but from the looks of it…" Puff said and trailed off into thought.
I stopped walking and closed my eyes. Feeling out with my magic I noticed a gentle hum off in the distance. It was calm, patient and strong.
" I can sense it! The Spirit beast we are looking for is definitely here!" I pointed to the north excitedly.
We headed further and further north. Stopping only to take a break and eat. We became tired a few times so we had to set up camp. Afterwards, with sheer determination, we pressed forward.
The ground's deep browns had turned into blacks as the sky had become darker and darker. I had finally realised what this place was.
I just didn't want to admit it to myself.
This pitch black oblivion, that was scarier than the death I had experienced when Kibbles had been upgraded. My feet began to stumble as I took the next step. Feelings poured into me as if I had just experienced them.
" Are you okay Yuki?" Kibbles said as I stumbled.
" Don't push yourself too much, you know where we are don't you?" Puff responded and looked over into the distance.
" Mm… the past" Is all I could muster in response.
Some spirit beasts had appeared at that moment as if created from thin air. They looked like leafy tigers that were rotting. Their faces had been replaced by the kabuki masks I had seen at the Bright Festival last year.
" Hahaha, that little queer you see the look on his face when he kicked him?!" The first spirit beast said.
" Yuta should just kill himself! Oh, he is behind you! Shhhh!" The second one said.
[ Stop it! ]
" I think that Anzai just feels sorry for him because he has no friends," The first spirit beast said before laughing an eerie laugh.
" CUT IT OUT!" Kibbles yelled as he charged forward to attack the beasts.
I stood there absentmindedly unable to move.
Puff had then joined in the fray and began to attack too.
The spirit beasts easily dodged and laughed more.
" Hey, trash! Move out the way we are talking to Yuta!" The first spirit beast said in a sing-song voice.
" You don't wanna help this little f ***t do you? You will end up like Isayama, Alone, alone!" The second beast chimed in.
The first spirit beasts head crooked to the side and began to run straight at me. Listening to their jeers and remembering all the hurt I had been through.
I wanted to shut it all out.
" Please stop," I begged tears forming in my eyes.
" It's your fault Isayama was not as popular as he could have been, I bet he is doing so much better now that you are gone!" The first spirit beast said. He began to laugh and started to grow in size.
" IT ISN'T TRUE HE WAS MY FRIEND… I am ..sure.. He was.. Happy." I retorted as I picked up the makeshift weapon I had on my back.
" Son, What is wrong with you?! Can't you just marry a nice girl like a normal boy? Your mother and I are very disappointed in you!" The voice of the second spirit beast changed into my old father's.
I held my head with the sword still in my hand.
Puff and Kibbles were hitting the two beasts but it was like they were made of air.
" STOP IT!" I said as I dropped my hands from my head and began to charge at the beasts. They seemed to be getting stronger and stronger.
" YUKI!" Kibbles yelled at me. I could barely hear him over my rage.
I swung my weapon at one of the beasts. I missed completely as it jumped backwards. The second one came up from behind and slashed at my back with its claws.
A burning pain spread all over my back as I fell to the floor.
Tears in my eyes.
[ Why do I have to remember all of this?! ]
" Seedling, calm yourself. This is a test" Puff had said as he shoved the beast who had hit me away.
[ A test? ]
I looked at the dragon who protected me with its tail as Kibbles was fighting off the charging spirit beasts.
" See, your friend over there is fighting hard to save you. I too am fighting hard to help. We have to do this together!" Puff said.
The beasts had begun to visibly shrink.
" Loser! Loser! Yuta is a Loser!" One of the spirit beasts shouted.
I thought about what Puff had said and looked over to see Kibbles trying his best to fight off the two spirit beasts in front of him. Dodging, ducking, flipping and slicing.
I then thought about all of the new friends that I had made along the way and my heart started to fill up again.
One of the spirit beasts had broken away. Its shape had distorted and it became a person who looked like the princess wearing a mask.
" Yuki? This is why you can't be with me!? You like men? How disgusting!" The beast said using the princess's voice.
It walked towards me in slow steps.
" You think that my brothers, your tutor or even your maid would still like you after they find out your little hobby? I mean it's just a phase right?" The beast continued.
" Don't listen Yuki, The beast is just trying to use your emotions against you!" Kibbles yelled after slicing at the beast it was attacking.
" You haven't told anyone though, have you? Don't you feel bad for deceiving everybody? We all know why you haven't told..." The girl continued then giggled.
" If they knew what you were really like…" The mask on the girls face turned into a disturbing grin.
" YOU WOULD BE ABANDONED JUST LIKE BEFORE!" The beast picked up its pace and charged at me.