I thought that since I had a new start in life I would never have to feel these emotions again. It was like each emotional wound which had been licked cleaned and mended had split open again.
I reminded myself that these spirit beats that were more akin to demons had been hiding inside my very soul. They had been waiting all this time to tell me what I should have already known.
I am going to be abandoned again.
The grand delusion of thinking that I had finally made friends who at least cared about me had in a second vanished and been replaced by a desolate loneliness. Kibbles I felt just stood by me because he had to.
The princes had just become my friends because they thought I was going to marry their sister. Riku was just there because he was paid by my family to teach me. Ren and Ki were under my new family's household. Regardless of whether they wanted to or not they had to be there for me…
It was their job.
Not one person who was in my life had a choice to be.
Even Cupid who had given me this opportunity was only there because he screwed up my life to begin with. Wasn't I here anyway to be the whipping boy for some male lead of a novel that didn't write me in to begin with?
[Was I really to be punished for being born the way I was?]
[Is there really no place for me in this or any other universe? ]
[ Maybe I shouldn't have woken up from the car accident….]
The sky around us grew solemn, rain clouds had formed and started on what felt like my behalf. The beast that wore the princess skin stopped running towards me. It paused its steps and looked straight into my eyes.
The second beast who had been fighting kibbles had also stopped.
All eyes were on me for some reason and it made me sick.
" I knew you would understand" The spirits beast said. Its voice now sounded like a saviour who had finally revealed the truth.
" mm.. I understand… I shouldn't be here should I? " I responded after a few moments.
" Yuki what nonsense are you saying? Don't listen! You belong here! You have friends who care about you!" Kibbles cried out.
" UNTIL WHEN KIBBLES?!" I shouted angrily.
" UNTIL THERE IS NO LONGER A USE FOR ME? UNTIL MY FAMILY DOESN'T PAY THEM TO BE NICE TO ME? Until they.. Find out.. I could never be normal?" I wanted to cry but there was nothing left. My last words had come in almost a whisper.
I held my face in my hands for a moment. Rain had fallen in between the cracks of my fingers cooling my puffy face.
I looked up to the sky after a moment and began to laugh.
" Hahahah..haha they are not even my family… My real parents threw me away as soon as I was old enough.. You know this! Why are you trying to lie to me?! I have had enough of playing pretend! Why would someone as disgusting as me deserve such good parents like the Aikyo's" I laughed and said dejectedly.
" Yuki, You know this isn't true… none of it is.." Kibbles said weakly.
" You either fight your inner demons or you and your spirit beast friend will be trapped here together. " Puff had said sternly.
I looked over at Puff who still had his tail wrapped around me.
He looked at me as if trying to stare under my clothes and sighed.
"Kibbles and I cannot fight this battle for you, you must overcome these feelings yourself. I believe in you.I do not understand what these vile spawn are saying but I can tell you, your father loves you very much.." Puff said and nodded to me.
" Quiet Lizard! " The spirit beast in the princess outfit said.
" Mm that's right! Riku spends more time talking to you then teaching you! Remember when he looked after you in the festival? Ren and you also fist bump, is it not a sign of friendship?!" Kibbles chimed in.
" You just gotta believe in yourself Yuki" Puff said.
The two spirit beasts became angered and started to battle again. Kibbles smiled as he sliced the beast who was attacking him. Puff stood in front of me and countered the beast that took the princess's form.
I closed my eyes listening to the rain splashing on my ears. The sounds of weapons clanging had become distant as I thought about what Kibbles and Puff had said.
[ Maybe.. They do care? ]
[ What if they don't? ]
[ I guess.. I will just have to believe in them! ]
With my eyes still closed I whispered " I guess even if I was abandoned in the end, it wouldn't change how I feel about everybody."
" A tree does not bother about the things they cannot change, why should I?" I mumbled again.
" QUIET LOSER! " The princess beast shouted.
" NO. YOU BE QUIET! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, TIME TO END THIS." I yelled out loud. My blood began to boil and the sky began to clear.
I stood up and grabbed my weapon walking toward the spirit beast as it had done to me.
" So what if they abandon me, so what if I cannot marry the princess!" I said in a low voice.
" I will just find people in the world that will accept me. There is 7 billion people aren't there?!" I said.
The spirit beasts stood back in shock.
" You said we were right, why change your mind now? " the beast who was shaped like the princess said. The mask on her face appearing as a frown.
" Because there are people here who believe in me!" I said out loud and began to charge,
" Mm! Well said seedling" remarked Puff.
" Let's kick some butt friend!" Kibbles said jovially.
" No you can't!" The second spirit beast screeched as it backed away.
"I will deal with both these creeps! Sorry I took so long!" I said smiling.
I charged towards the first beast shaped like a princess, weapon in hand. For some reason it seemed liked it was attacking in slow motion. With a slice of my sword the beast shattered like glass.
As it broke into a million pieces. I rushed at the second one that had started to flee from Kibbles. It too seemed to run in slow motion as I cut it in half with a single stroke.
The sky cleared up and a rainbow had appeared in this gloomy place. Kibbles ran up to me and held me up in the air as if I was an ice skater.
" Yuki you did it!!" Kibbles said happily.
" Sorry for making you worry" I replied embarrassed.
" You did well, from a seedling I see a sapling today" Puff replied.
Kibbles put me down and I walked up to Puff who was waiting for me.
" Could you not tell anyone what you have seen today. It was kind of personal" I said as I scratched the back of my neck.
" I am not sure what you are talking about. We are doing a test, not an investigation!" Puff said before he winked.
" Thank you " I replied gratefully before bowing.
" Right we have a spirit beast to find! But first can we rest!?" Kibbles whined.
" We can have some lunch and keep going, I do not think that we are too far away" I said as I closed my eyes.
The pulse that beckoned me felt really strong as if it were a magnet pulling me along. We set up camp and ate some rations.
Kibbled had glanced up at me more then usual. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but after everything that had happened.
I felt emotionally drained.
[ I guess Kibbles and I will need to talk when we get out of here.]
We packed up camp with our bellies round and our aches massaged before heading over to the final destination of our journey.
"To find and tame my magic avatar!" I said excitedly as I took my first step!
" Let's get out of here!" Kibbles said excitedly.
" I need a nap" said Puff.
We all marched in the direction of the magic avatar's pulse.