Home: the place where one lives permanently, primarily as a member of a family or household.
*
When the DJ finished, a playlist was put on rerun over some speakers. It was a mindless blend of techno, electro, pop and nightcore instrumentals, matching seamlessly with the childish disco theme of the declining hours of the restaurant still projected.
People had started leaving as twilight took over. Soon, it was only the girls and Amada on the dance floor, tiredly dancing to the strange music choice between laughs and smiles.
I had somehow started dancing with Alexis, one hand on her hip the other holding her hand as we stepped in time to the music, occasionally being so daring as to twirl her. "This has been nice," Alexis said, "Getting away from school, a beachside resort, funky music."
"Too bad its getting cut short," I replied.
"Well, a lot has happened. Can't say I blame everyone," Alexis informed, "Just want to put everything behind us. Who knew the school was a nicer place than this?"
"We still have a week of holidays left when we go back. It'll be fine," I assured.
"It'll be boring," she confessed, taking her hand from mine and placing it on the back of my neck. For a moment I didn't know where to place my hand, eventually placing it on her other hip. "The school is out of bounds during holidays, so I can't go back to my little shed or anything."
"Oh, you poor thing," I teased.
"I know!" She rolled her eyes, "The last time I brought work home it was broken days later by the twins because they weren't careful with it."
"What was it?"
She scoffed, "Hell if I know. I think it was just something I threw paint at once and my teacher was like 'Oh, this is nice. Is this what you're handing in?'" I chuckled, she elaborated, "Well it wasn't that simple, but you get the gist. Surrealism and stuff. Regardless, apparently, Amada punched through the centre."
I couldn't contain my laughter, "Seriously?"
"According to Amia," Alexis answered with a similar smile to mine.
Mid-laughter, we both leaned forwards, our foreheads pressing against each other. The motion lessened our laughter until we just stayed in this position, her nose almost touched mine as her smile became sweet. We continued to sway, virtually ignoring the music at this point, to just be holding each other.
Were we having a moment?
If you acknowledge a moment, was it still a moment?
Alexis lifted her head, her eyes looking into mine as our noses brushed against each other. My heartbeat started throbbing in my ears as she playfully rubbed our noses in a not-so-subtle flirt. I could feel my cheeks flushing, the sudden feeling in my stomach stretching up my spine and making me feel warm.
What was I supposed to do?
Was Alexis just teasing me like the other girls?
I liked hanging out with her, and she's a cool friend, but this was too in my face to ignore.
I wanted to kiss her.
I could, she was right there, but a lump formed in my throat as I started panicking whether I was reading the moment correctly.
I pulled away from her nose brushing and sighed silently, forcing my resolve as I leaned in, closing my eyes to go for it. But before I could move, my name was called, "Landon!"
Damnit! I mused, pulling away and looking behind me.
Amada walked over, and never have I wanted to drop-kick someone so intensely in my life. "What is it, Amada?" I tried not to hiss.
"Everyone is ready to go, but we can't find Mia," he informed.
My annoyance evaporated, "She didn't leave, did she?"
"Bonnie says Mia said she was going to the bathroom but that it was like twenty minutes ago," he informed.
I detached my hands from Alexis to fully face him, "Why didn't someone tell me this earlier?"
"Because you were dancing with Alexis," Amada defended.
Alexis laughed.
"Where has everyone looked?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed.
"Bonnie said she's checked the bathroom and everyone is looking around the dining areas."
I nodded, rubbing my temples, "Okay. She wouldn't have gone far, you and Amia ask the waitresses and I'll just the karaoke rooms," I instructed. Amada nodded and went off to find his sister.
"You really think Mia is in a Karaoke Booth?" Alexis asked crossing her arms.
I sighed, "We're talking Mia here. Who knows?" I said, "I'll be right back. Gotta find Jade Eyes."
"Who?"
"Don't worry about it." I walked across the dance floor towards the room we were in for karaoke. Some were locked due to the later hour, making my search easier when the first three I tried to open were closed. I knocked anyway, but Mia didn't respond. I could hear the muffled vibrations of some rooms in use. I knocked on one door, being greeted by a woman and some teens. When I knocked on another, a man answered, a woman I believed to be his girlfriend behind him, and no Mia in sight.
"Have you seen a little blonde girl?" I attempted.
He shook his head and promptly closed the door.
I knocked on the final door, feeling the base of the music against the door while I waited. No one answered. I knocked again. "Hello?" I called, "Mia are you in there?" Before I could try the door, the handle turned, and I saw the top of Mia's head as she peeked out from the room. "Mia," I was relieved as I kneeled to her size, "You can't just wander off like that. You got to let us know where you're going."
Mia rocked on her feet, her eyes heavy looking. She was clearly tired. "You had us worried, young lady," I said picking her up. She hung around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. I scooped up her skirt as I readjusted her, making sure she was comfortable as I went to close the door but peered inside.
The karaoke machine screen had a finished screen, a bright blue light announcing, 'Well Done!', for the previous user's B+.
*
Mia fell asleep on my shoulder as we waited outside Karaoke Chaos for the cars. I found myself swaying slightly when Mia stirred, snuggling against the side of my neck, her nose was cold. None of us spoke while we waited until I noticed Robyn was staring at me.
"What?" I asked, my hands too full for me to check if there was something on my face.
Robyn signed at me, and I was surprised that I understood her. "You look cute holding Mia," she signed. She pulled out her phone, in an Eiffel Tower inspired case, and took a quick photo of us. When she showed me the picture, I frowned at the sight of my untidy hair.
Mia transferred her sleepy head from my shoulder to Estelle's lap when I laid her down in the car.
The car ride was spent in silence as everyone's heads occasionally drooped forwards in tiredness. Alexis sat next to me and rested her head on my shoulder as she closed her eyes. I spent the car ride looking out the window.
In cities or tightly packed buildings, light pollution hid the stars in the sky. New York, parts of Indonesia and London all outshone the starlight, making the air seem endlessly black. But in country settings, there was an entire world of stars above us. I've sat in fields with tribes, rooftops with village children, and on blankets at campsites with my Father's work colleagues staring up at arguably the same set of burning lights. Yet every time I've always seen something different, something new to appreciate, something pointed out to me; a story told, a theory explained, a drunken laugh as my company told their own legends not even regarding the stars.
I sat across from Robyn, who, like me, was being used as a pillow by Estelle. She looked up to the stars with her usual disinterested looking eyes. Despite this I watched them scan, brighter stars reflecting in her eyes as she sought them out and stared, unblinking, until she found another one.
I considered Robyn for a moment, wondering what she was thinking. Robyn always seemed so quiet, very reserved. Seeing the glimpses of intelligence in her eyes, as she considered the night, made me wonder whether that was her personality, or she felt she couldn't talk to me.
I caught Robyn's eye. Every ounce of aptitude disappeared as she returned to her absent looking expression. She signed, "OK?"
I nodded, signing back, "Yes. I'm OK." I paused, and added, "Are you?"
She blinked at the question and shrugged, signing slowly so I could understand. "My feet are sore from heels. I'm just tired."
Even though I couldn't hear her voice, I felt like she was lying, or perhaps holding something back. Before I could try and pry, she turned back to the window and closed her eyes.
*
"Hey Landon, you awake?" Alexis asked.
I stirred on the mattress, pulling my phone from under my pillow to check the time; 3:30 am. "I am now…" I grumbled, burying my head in my pillow.
"Come up here," she requested.
"Go to sleep." I rolled over in my bed.
"Fine. I'll come down." I heard her move in the bed, I sat up.
"No, no. I'll come up," I croaked, my voice sounding dead.
My limbs felt heavy, and every joint seemed to creak as I got to my feet, swaying momentarily before finding the edge of the bed and pulling back the blanket. Alexis shuffled in the bed to make room for me. The bed was comfortable, more so then the pull-out mattress was, and the sheets were heavy, weighing down on me in a cozy way. In the darkness, I could only sense how close Alexis was to me, and eventually feel her when she shuffled so close her head affected the weight on my pillow.
"Why?" I asked when she didn't say anything.
She yawned, "Can't sleep."
"Well I can, so shh." I placed a hand on her face, finding her lips and pressing a finger against it. I felt her smile against it as she pushed my hand away.
"Goodnight."
"Night."
*
We had a long day of travelling. Zietta admitted she wished her niece and nephew would stay longer but understood why everyone, or rather their parents, were so eager to get them back to the dorms.
I wasn't tidy about how I packed my bag, meaning I threw everything into my suitcase and forced it closed with my strength and Alexis' weight. I placed my bag on the ground floor and went into the dining room for breakfast. Ava and Robyn were already in there, Robyn fiddling with the silver cutlery and Ava cradling a steaming mug between tired sips.
"If you're still tired why don't you go back to bed?" I asked sitting across from her, "We don't leave for another two hours."
"I'll sleep on the train," Ava replied, her eyelids fluttering, "I've been up since 5:30 am to have another workout at the gym. My fists are getting sore." As if to show this off, she lifted her bandaged mug off the table and brought the cup to her lips with an unsteady shake.
"Are you okay?" I furrowed my brows.
She replaced the cup and nodded, "Yes. I'm fine. Hands do that when I strain them too much," she informed. A spoon flew across the table and clinked against her mug, startling her, while Robyn smothered a chuckle. Ava reached forwards and pushed some hair from her ear, "Where's your hearing aid?" she asked, trying to reach to look at the other. Robyn covered her ears and made a quick sign, but my attention went to the waiter who placed a plate of pancakes before me.
"Where're the twins?" Alexis asked, reaching blindly for her cup.
I passed it to her, grabbing a pitcher of juice on the table to pour. "They're eating with Zietta," Ava informed, "Since they haven't had much of a chance to hang out on this little vacation."
Bonnie was the next to come to the dining room, unlike Ava she was awake and aware, her hair already straightened, her clothes impeccable and her attention much more alert then mine. "Is Mia here?" she asked, rolling by the table.
I frowned, replacing the pitcher on the table. "You need to take better care of your Mia's, Bonnie," I joked, "You seem to lose them easily."
Bonnie rolled her eyes, "Ha-Ha, I'm serious. I woke up, and she was there, but when I got out of the bath, she was gone. I thought she went to breakfast, but if she isn't here, where is she?"
"Maybe she went for a walk," Ava grumbled, resting her forehead against the table. Robyn stole Ava's cup and took a drink.
"She hasn't packed her bag yet," Bonnie remarked, reaching for the pitcher and being just inches from its handle. I nudged it towards her, earning me a slightly irritated look but no comment as she poured herself a glass.
"If she doesn't come to breakfast I'll search the beach," I assured cutting through my pancakes, "I've already packed my bag."
"Yeah, packed," Alexis chuckled, sipping her juice, "Not stuffed."
After breakfast, Mia didn't join us, so, as I promised, I went to the beach to search for her there. On the walk over, I wondered if she would be on the Platform, eyeing it in the distance with a sickening moment of dread.
I walked along the pathway and looked down the sand, on the very edge of the waves I saw a small person squatted down on the sand. I sighed, "Mia…" I breathed hopping over the plants that lined the pathway to wander along the sand.
When I approached the figure, I was sure it was Mia. Her hair was being thrown around by the morning wind. Her feet were buried in the wet sand, occasionally her toes wriggling their way to the surface before disappearing after a small wave washed over them. The skirt of her blue sundress was weighed down at its edges by water, a dark blue colour stretching up the hem from where the ocean water touched.
When I stood next to her, her eyes remained glued to the sand, but her arms hugged her knees. I squatted down, hovering over the wet sand next to her.
"What's going on, Mia?" I asked. She leaned forwards and drew circles in the sand, the indents getting flooded as another wave washed over it. "Bonnie says you haven't packed yet," I commented, "As I recall, you were the one who didn't even want to come on this trip. Now you don't want to leave?" I asked her this with a hint of amusement.
Mia didn't share my joke. She stared blankly at the sand in front of her, virtually ignoring me.
"Mia, what's this about?" I asked, taking on my serious tone. She remained silent. I didn't know what I was expecting, a willingly mute girl, who has yet to speak a word to me or anyone, wasn't going to break her silence to explain a tantrum to me. Time to play twenty questions.
"Is this about what happened on the Platform?" I tried.
Still silent.
"Do you not want to go back to the dorm?"
Mia's lip twitched.
I bit the inside of my cheek. "Is this about school?" I asked.
Mia nodded slowly, offering a long sigh in response.
"Did something happen?" I quizzed, "With those girls in your year? The Delinquents?"
Mia's hold on herself tightened.
"Mia, do you recognise this is illogical?" I asked, "You have to go back. You can't stay here, no matter how delightful of a guest you are." I didn't even get a smile. "Whatever is going on at school, it shouldn't scare you. If it's those girls, they don't deserve the amount of time you're giving them by worrying about it." Mia finally looked up to me, her usual methodical jade eyes seemed fragile, glittering from the morning sun in a way that seemed to tremble.
"Oh, Jade Eyes," I muttered, offering an arm out to her. "You know that no matter what you have people on your side. I'm here to help you, Bonnie is here to help you, Estelle will help you," I assured, "Whatever it is, you don't have to worry about it alone."
Mia stood up, becoming the same height as me, and embraced me. I gently patted her on the back, "You matter, Mia. I don't like to see you sad." I felt her sigh next to my ear, but her grip tightened. "Okay… so how about this?" she pulled away from me, "You and I have a little walk on the beach and see if we can find you another pretty seashell for you to take home." I dusted off my pants as I stood up. "That way, you aren't completely leaving this place behind."
Mia rolled her eyes, likely at my cheesiness, but nodded, her fragile expression turning happy as she beamed me a bright smile.
*
Mia watched the light reflect off her new shell as we waited for the train. She sat on the suitcases, tilting it to cause a pearly rainbow effect.
"Where'd you find it?" Bonnie asked.
"In the rock pools. She reckons it's even prettier than the first one she found," I informed, "Perhaps make a necklace or something." Bonnie faced the train tracks, shading her eyes from the sun as we waited. "Hey," she turned her head, "Has something been up with Mia?"
She scoffed, "Something is always up with Mia."
"Anything out of the ordinary," I clarified, "She doesn't want to go back to school, but I'm not too sure why."
"I feel like we've explained that to you already," Bonnie replied, slouching in her chair. "She's an eleven-year-old living in the 'Disability Ward' surrounded by stupid hormonal teenagers who she doesn't talk to and is smarter than." She crossed her arms and pouted, "Everyone sucks. I wouldn't go back if I had a choice." She stretched her arms above her head, soaking in the sun as she sighed, "I'm excited to see Fritz again though."
The train barrelled down the rails, sending a wall of metal-scented wind as the breaks creaked the carts to a halt. Only a handful of people hopped off the train.
The train was different from the one we had arrived in. Due to such short notice, we didn't get a sleeper train for the overnight trip home. The interior was lined with cushiony red wallpaper, the same pattern appearing on the rows of seats crammed in the cart. I saw the tops of people's head in a few of the seats, but even with them, it was silent.
I started shoving the bags in the storage above our heads, staring with uncertainty at how much one of the bags dangled over the edge. Amia took off her backpack, reaching up to fit it amongst the other luggage, but wasn't quite tall enough even on her toes.
"Attack!" Estelle shot her arms out and tickled Amia's sides, in a bout of fright and laughter, Amia screamed out in surprise and dropped her arms, the bag falling from the shelf. I barely managed to catch it before it hit the ground.
"Estelle!" Amia snapped, rubbing her sides where she was poked.
Estelle made an ingenuous apology as she shuffled over, patting the seat next to her for Amia to sit.
Ava passed me the rest of the bags, Estelle's being the heaviest and one I had no chance of holding above my head. Bonnie felt awkward when she saw there was no place to park the chair, eventually sitting next to Mia, who still stared down at her new shell, running her fingers over its smooth edges.
After six hours of hand games, I-SPY, travel games, several trips off the train at certain stops to get vending machine food, and many strange girl topics I could barely contribute to, everyone started to quiet down. Some wearing headphones, others staring out the window in a daze or slowly falling asleep on their neighbour's shoulders. I was facing Mia, who was succumbing to her drowsiness too as her head started nodding forwards, her small hands' grip on her shell slipping, eventually falling to the ground. Not wanting it to get crushed, I picked it up and placed it in Mia's bag on the floor.
Amada hadn't spoken much during the train ride, if at all. He was sitting behind me and startled me when he reached over with a handheld console. "Wanna play something?" he asked.
I took the game and switched it on, the console familiar in my hands from many childhood hours playing Mario or Pokémon on plane rides. The wireless was on and asked me if I wanted to play multiplayer with an Avatar screen name AmadaDrama.
I tried not to laugh, but Amada caught it and grumbled something as he slid back down his own seat. For the next couple of hours the two of us battled it out in various arenas and outdrove each other in racing games until it became night time and Amada said he was going to sleep.
Sleeping on a train, or any transportation, is an art in my opinion. Throughout the night I felt various body parts grow numb, namely my backside and occasionally my leg, before I was forced to walk up and down the aisle to distract myself. What little company we had when we started on the train had disappeared, leaving me to wander around anywhere I wanted on the cart with zero complaints.
All the lights were switched off to make sleep easier, leaving me to stroll blindly with the moon's light as my only guide against the sharp corners of armrests. In one of my routes, Ava stood up and stretched in the aisles, not too sure if she knew I was awake still.
Ava walked away from me, leaving the cart altogether. Curious, I followed her.
The cart we were in was near the back, as I followed Ava she went to the next carriage, and the next one, and out the back door of the final one. A freezing gale washed through the cart when she opened the door. I rushed to the door and peered out the window, the back of the train allowing you to look outside with cage-like bars to keep one from jumping off.
Ava was leaning on the railing, the wind throwing around her hair as she turned on a torch. The small beam of light barely did anything against the mass of night-time darkness. I opened the door and came outside, the cold hair sending goose bumps across my skin. She turned, shining the light in my eyes, somehow blinding me again.
"Can't sleep?" I asked, blinking away the light burn behind my eyes as Ava pointed the beam on the ground.
She shrugged, "Just needed some air." Ava turned back to the scenery and leaned on the railing again. The train's swaying occasionally made us stumble, but otherwise, it was smooth travelling. I stood next to her, holding onto the bars trapping us in.
"Seems excessive, don't you think?" I wondered, pulling at some of the bars, they didn't even budge.
"They wouldn't be here unless something's happened before," Ava answered with a flat tone.
I dropped my arm, "That's ominous. You okay?"
She started playing with the torch, switching it on and off as she looked down at the railings. "What happened the other day was messed up," she stated, using the bar to help her arch her back, "I mean like…" She seemed lost for words, gesturing with her hands in an unintelligible way before ultimately gritting her teeth and slamming the torch against the bar, sending a loud hollow sound between us and the lightbulb in the torch flicker for a moment before regaining its brightness. "Why did that have to happen to them, Landon?" she cracked.
Unlike before, there wasn't a punching bag to take her aggression out on. My back was pressed against the railing, trying to create as much distance between Ava and myself in case she lashed out again.
But she seemed frustrated. "How are they ever going to forgive us?" she snapped.
I shook my head, "Ava no one blames you."
"And how the hell would you know? It didn't happen to you, and you're a man, so it can't happen to you," Ava countered as she paced. "Robyn's changed, Mia's changed, Estelle has bloody changed. They didn't deserve this, Landon, why did that have the happen?" She pressed her hands to her head and squatted down, glaring a hole into the ground as her breathing became heavy.
I felt awkward standing here while my friend had a mild panic attack, so I approached her and squatted down to her size. "No one blames you, Ava," I assured slowly, "Everyone is safe now."
Ava wasn't crying, but she pressed her hands to her cheeks like she was wiping tears. "Their parents might come after us…" she informed looking at me, despite how close we were neither of us were in the mood to find it awkward, "I don't know what I'm gonna do if that happens."
"No one is coming after anyone," I assured.
"You don't know that," she answered, her hysteria turning to levelled calmness, "And even if they don't, do you think Bonnie's parents are gonna loosen their hold on her after this? Or Estelle's think the heir of their throne is safe amongst the public? Even if they don't come after us, this incident may ruin their teenaged lives via helicopter parents." When Ava spoke, she usually gestured a lot, throwing them about without regards to those around her, but when she spoke now, they rested on her knees, not a hint of movement seen.
"Ava, this isn't your fault. If we must assign blame, it is all mine," I explained, "If there's any serious backlash, it's all on me. I'm the Dorm Guard, you're Robyn's translator. I should've known better, and I'm prepared to take full responsibility for whatever comes of this." Ava shook her head as she looked at the ground. I placed a finger under her chin and made her look at me, "None of this is on you, Ava. I will make sure that nothing happens to you."
The wind continued to blow her hair around as she pulled her chin from my hand, still annoyed, this time by me. "But what about you then?"
"You don't need to worry about me," I informed, "It's late. We've had a hectic couple of days, try to get some sleep." I held a hand out for her. Whether she was too tired to argue or not bothered, she took my hand to help her stand. I opened the door to get out of the wind when we passed a sign bordered by light. The sudden colour and light caught our attention.
WELCOME TO LOCKVILLE METRO
We were in the region of our stop now, roughly four hours away.
"Welcome home…" I heard Ava say as she disappeared back inside the train. I watched the sign get smaller, become a spec in the distance, before following.