After that one particular event, I became a much frequent visitor of my brother.
We don't really talk, especially my brother, or communicate. We just spent our time in each others presence, bonding without words.
One day I was really bored doing nothing beside my brother in the room, which I figured out was a very old and dusty library, so I took one of the books and attempted to read it.
I quickly realized I couldn't read any sentences. Apparently the alphabet in this world were different even though they use the same language with my past world.
So I just stared blankly at the book which I don't even know was upside down at that time.
Suddenly a piece of paper obscured my sight, when I focused on it, I realized it was some kind of words in orders. What's more cooler though is how when I pressed it, a voice came out to pronounce the alphabet.
My eyes glimmered in excitement, quickly I looked at my stoic brother who's trying to hide from glittering eyes.
"Thanks Nii!"
~~
Time passed by quickly, suddenly I'm 4 years old. All this years I spent it all with my big brother, I read a lot book and discovered important things about this new world I live in.
The world I live in are the epitome of chaos, there's always war and people fighting for power. Here people recognize power above all, for that simple reason, other things doesn't matter like it use to be in my last life.
There is no such thing as love, sex, money, loyalty or pride. People just crave the simplest thing in the world which is power. People would do anything to be in power, fight until death, to buy slaves that fight for them, and even selling their own treasure and freedom.
It is very suspicious how, with such mindset, they built civilization, and how there's still a ruler or even an organization?
There's 4 continents connected with desserts and rivers. The north is not civilized unlike the rest and incredibly, 3 countries stand in their own continents. Called the upper, middle, and lower nations.
Lame name right? I thought so too.
But apparently, the name is a symbol of victory for the nation who won on the last war. Which means the name of the nations always shifted every time a war comes out.
The upper, obviously are the one who are victorious in the 250th war are located on the west.
The middle are those who did not come victorious nor defeated, they're located in the east.
The lower are those who has been defeated, they are located in the south.
These three nations continue to bring war among themselves to the point they don't remember what started it and it became something like a habit. After the end of every war, the upper would rule over the other for 50 years before the war would begin again.
For what? No reason.
It is such an insane system that even I have never thought of in my past life. But I couldn't really judge, if I was born here first, I'd thought it was normal too.
It has been 35 years since the 250th war, which men the next war will come in 15 years. From what I heard it was extremely bloody, each countries lend their absolute strength, uncaring of the consequences, for victory.
There's also a kind of magic in this world, but not something like spells and such. It is more of a lineage talent or power, a power that goes down from generation to generation. Because of that, people with power become 'noble', but since this power are rare, people don't really use it in war. They have bunch of incredible technology to cover it.
Technology here is very advanced compared to my last life, but only for the sake of war. weaponized suit are the most common, but a huge robot or mecha also exist.
After realizing that magic's more of a thing of genetics, I immediately given up on trying a little magic.
Anyway, the place that I lived with my brother are unsurprisingly a separate mansion from my adopted parents. It's very quiet , and only less than a dozen servant/bodyguards are here.
They're quite scary, each times I saw them they don't move or express any emotion.
I wonder if that's what supposed to happen to future me and brother.
As an introvert I really love this quiet mansion, even though I have to do things on my own, except cooking because food just arrived at our table without any notification and I also never seen the chef, this is the quiet life I have always wanted.
In the past..
But sometimes I feel very lonely, I used to have a very loving family and to be suddenly put in a cold house like this leave me unfeeling. So I pick a hobby I used to have in my past life which is cooking.
I didn't even remember how I started baking, I just felt the need to connect myself back to my past so I won't lose myself.
At first, I ate it all by myself. After all I had no one to share with. But one day I was really full and got the idea to give it to my brother.
It was a success.
My brother and I found out that he was a sweet tooth.
His actual reaction was nonexistent but as the little sister who are by his side for the past four years, I can see from the twitch of his eyes that he likes it.
From that day on, I bake twice (actually more than twice) a week for both of us.
In this past year, I seem to be able to read my brother better than anyone else.
From a twitch of his eyes, I could know if he is mad or happy. I can't tell if he likes me or not, but from what I see, he tolerates me very much. After all I have never seen any servant or people who came in contact with him. Its as if the people are too disgusting for him to even look at.
And me?
I am very comfortable with my brother. Too comfortable even, because sometimes I took a nap beside him. I don't know why, but being near him make me warm and fuzzy that I feel like dozing off.
One day I didn't really sleep well, when I read some books beside my brother I accidentally doze off again.
I had a dream, it was my past life family. They were laying on the ground, gouged hollow eyes staring at me.
"Why did you kill us?"
With a startled gasp, I woke up panting in someone's lap.
My eyes blurred with tears, I started sobbing with tears. I want my family back, it was all my fault. because of me they died, if only they didn't follow me. Why was I reincarnated? I don't deserve a new life.
All of my suppressed emotion spilled just because of one unguarded moment. A hesitant hand pat my head very gently, I realized I was crying on my brother's lap. His whole posture was stiff as a rock, not knowing what to do with me.
Desperation engulfed my mind, I want warmth touch, I want comfort, and even though this little guy never touched anyone and look uncomfortable right now, I did not care.
I hugged him tightly, because he was my only light. My hands trembles as I sobbed in his wide chest.
His didn't move a centimeter, looking even more uncomfortable. His hands hovering around my back.
I slowly calmed down, I did not expect any touch in return but still disappointment bloomed inside my heart. Just as I was about to let my brother go, his hovering hands finally hug me back slowly as if I'm a fragile glass.
My tears once again blurred with tears, he was returning my touch, and his embrace was so wamrth, guarding me from everything that's trying to swallow me.
I looked at my brother's soft but confused face.
"T-Thank You, Nii-chan."
Ever since that day, touch wasn't a problem between us, we hug frequently and sometimes I even sleep with him so I won't be away from him.
The darkness in the edge of my mind never came back, it was gone the moment he gave me his touch.
And I never want to let him go.