Re;Kingdom, Starting a Life with Amnesia from Zero
Arc 4 – "Eternal Contract" – Sanctuary Arc
Chapter 47 – "ーーMy Reason"
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Despite my consciousness being completely sane, and probably more healthier than that of the woman which sat in front of me, it felt as if my mind was being tortured. Thousands of needles being pierced through my brain, or it being completely covered in gasoline and set ablaze. As a matter of fact, none of these examples were the case, but my pain scorned as if my mental state was unstable.
Jens : "You… are letting me go?"
I asked, as this kind of response was unnatural to Echidna's extraordinary behavior. I gently tilted my head to the right, but stared at her dull yet beautiful black eyes.
Echidna : "I am giving you a choice."
Once again, and like always, Echidna had to respond with a clever answer. She moved her hand through her snow white hair, and then placed the cup of tea back on the table. I still was looking right at her face, and once she looked back at me, she raised a brow.
Echidna : "Did I say something weird? I thought I was being nice. Perhaps a new methodology is required for this affairーー"
Jens : "No, it's neither sympathy nor spite that I was questioning, it's just that I don't understand what choice you're giving me. Me having a choice between going away, or staying her and being even more mentally tortured?"
She closed her eyes, raised her hand to cover her mouth, and chuckled. Then, she reassured I was still looking at her by opening her eyes. A wicked smile rose on that beautiful face of hers.
Echidna : "I don't think you quite understand my intention. Rather, the reason why you are here. I am completely neutral Jens. Stay here, and I'll answer all your questions and more."
Her black eyes glistened under the moonlight, as if bestowed by the grace of a beautiful maiden. Still, her beauty wouldn't buy me over. There is nothing that would keep me from Emilia, thus I had to return. I had to go back, take the trials, and if necessary, go back to this place. I would do whatever it would take as long I could keep Emilia safe. That is, honestly, all that mattered to me.
Echidna : "Or go and take your trails, and meet the same fate as so many others. Or…"
Again, her cheeks blossomed red, her eyes widened widely, and her smile rose wickedly. She opened up her arms in excitement, as if to welcome someone she hadn't seen since god knows when.
Echidna : "Accept my Contract, and I will help you through the Trials, through the Royal Election, through the impossible war against Regulus and The Washuu King, find a way on how to defeat the Endbringers, and perhaps even learn more about Contessa and the world."
My fate was sealed, I knew that I was unable to accept Echidna's contract. Minerva told me already, that Echidna was not the person to trust. Either way, I wouldn't have trusted Echidna even if Minerva didn't tell me anything. The moment that I regained myself, I felt more alive than ever. All because Echidna gave me that god damn Tea, still, my choice remains the same. I will not forge a contract with the Witch of Greed Echidna, not now and nevermore.
Still, it was a lot to think about, especially if I would consider her help. After all, I hadn't known this much since our meeting. Echidna had taught me about how the first Four Great Maidens got formed. About Contessa, a woman who scorned our fate. She taught me about the forgotten Endbringers, even about worlds that I am not familiar with. This woman, she was extremely desperate to try and convince me into making a contract. However, I will not fall for her trickery.
I loosened the grip of my fists, as if my rest was reassured, and let out a sigh of relief. I looked up at the sky, and looked and the thousands of unfamiliar constellations that lied in the starry night sky. Then, I lowered my head again, and looked back at the Witch who was sitting in front of me.
Jens : "How do I take the trials?"
She clicked her fingers, and loosened her wicked smile into a genuine one. Then, she closed one eye and slightly tilted her head. It was such a cute pose she made, but the fact that the woman who made the pose was the Witch of Greed, the one who was the Master Trickster and tried to lead me down the path of Trickery, made it less cute.
Echidna : "A small disclaimer is required for this matter. I'm quite incapable of starting the Trials right now, however…"
She grabbed the cup of tea which lied in front of her on the white table, took a sip, and lowered the cup back at the table.
Echidna : "The next time you enter the Tomb of the Sanctuary, your Trial will start. However, you must summon Lewes to actually start the trial. She resides within the Tomb, and without her, you're unable to start it what so ever. So, in other words, I am basically allowing you to take the Trials as soon as you return to the Sanctuary."
Jens : "But I want to take the Trials now."
Echidna : "Don't you want to know how it is going with your Silver-Haired, Amethyst-eyed Half-Witch?"
I clicked my tongue out of great anger, causing to make a dull noise like "Tch!". How could she possibly refer to Emilia in that way? "Half-Witch?", I repeated the disgusting words that Echidna said. Even I, the one who swore to protect her, was disgusted my those words. My loosened hand quickly returned to a firm grip. I tried to pierce the skin of my own palm with the nails, yet it didn't work due to Echidna's Dream World. It appeared that physical injuries and or actual death is something which did not exist here, only mental suffering was the case here.
Echidna : "Yes, Emilia. The Half-Witch, the daughter of the Witch. The one who sealed your fate, and will make you face your demise sooner than ever. Yet, I am able to manipulate that, and perhaps even I, the Witch of Greed, is capable of putting that demise asideーー"
Jens : "Shut the fuck up you bitch!"
I was not able to keep the fury that was flowing through my blood calm. The moment she started to call Emilia that, the moment she started to say that it is Emilia who will be the cause of my end, the moment she again offered her fucking contract, I lost control. It felt as if all the fury and wrath that resided within me had blossomed and descended from the depths of my despair.
Jens : "You don't know the slightest thing about Emilia! You don't know the slightest thing about me! You only fucking care about your self, about knowing things! You don't even care about me, nor my friends. You'll simply run away when things get too hard! I don't fucking want your contract!"
The words that were all stored up within me, and were all declined to come out by my consciousness, flopped out in an angry matter. Once I finished releasing all the anger, I jumped up, raised my body, and looked down at the woman which sat in front of me.
Her pale skinned skin remained pale, her snow white hair which wavered in the wind of the starry night sky, remained the same. Then, her dull, deep, void-like black eyes, remained the same. Then, her face, her beautiful graceful maiden-like face remained the same. All she did, was a single brush through her hair with her pale hand.
Then, I finally realized what I said, and to who I said those words. The infuriating fury which was burning within me, quickly turned into sympathy and sorrow once I looked her deep in the eyes. She showed no emotions, other than sadness. Her smiling lips, quickly turned into a facial expression of melancholy.
Echidna : "ーーYou know, none of those things you said were incorrect. It's true, I only care about self, and don't give a damn about you and your friends. Yes, it's true, I barely know anything about you, or your friends. But, I cannot just stay in a place like this, while there are things to be discovered outside of this world!"
She swung her arm to the rear, and let out a painful speech. She stood up from her chair, and walked towards my direction while she kept talking. Her cheeks, again, blossomed red out of excitement, and her eyes widened, all characteristics to make a point more clear.
Echidna : "With your Authority of Return by Death, with my knowledge, we could neglect whatever obstacle awaits us in the distant future. We could, with the power of my knowledge and Return by Death, find your memories back. We could potentially gain the Dragon Blood, we could kill the Endbringers, we could do whatever we want. Then again, there would be no cause to celebrate or be happy about our Eternal Contract, but imagine all the things we could do. I have no desire to be your best friend forever, or the acquaintance who is your guide through life, but it is what is required for the best outcome. I already told you, the only way to safe Emilia, or the Blue Haired Demon Girl, is to work together. Accept my contract, and I could make whatever future you desire a fact. I, Echidna, the Witch of Greed, the one who scorned the Calamity, could make a dream… a reality."
Jens : "You are right. Those things, all the futures that my selfish heart would desire, they would be in our reach if we would work together. However,"
I turned away from the woman who stood in front of me. Her pitch black dress wavered in the wind, and so did her snow white hair. She, Echidna, stopped her hair from hindering her vision by supporting the hair with her hand.
Jens : "There is no god damn way I'll leave you use me or anyone else! I am who I am, and there are people outside who actually care about me!"
The moment I said those words, Echidna's eyes rolled in annoyance. She crossed her arms, and let out an expression of disappointment.
Jens : "And I promised that I would never leave them! I care too much about my friends outside of this world! Emilia, Nathan, Felt, Otto…"
Echidna : "Then what about Regulus and Furuta? I can already say, without the help of my Book of Wisdom, that the chance of beating them is close to zero. Only by combining forces, only by combining my knowledge with your Authority of Return by Death, will we be able to scorn all the ones that will block our path!"
I clicked my teeth, and didn't look back. No matter what this woman would say, there is no way I could believe her. But then,
A loud, irritating noise pierced through our eardrums, as if glassed shattered into a million pieces. Due to this, both me and Echidna turned to the rear, where another silhouette made an appearance.
Her light blonde hair, her watery blue eyes, and her white and blue clothes that made out the person who isーー Minerva, the Witch of Wrath made an appearance.
Minerva : "Stop! Stop! Stopstopstop! I cannot listen to this ridicule anymore~! Stop leading this kid into trickery Echidna! You promised us to never make this contract a thing, yet you are doing it again!"
The woman known as the Witch of Wrath, who stood there infuriating from inside, descended from shadows and stomped the grounds.
Echidna : "A lower life form like you, lower than even Jens, has no rights of telling me what I can or cannot do. Did you forget your position Minerva? As a matter of fact, the capabilities of humanity is all restricted to the person themselves. Thus, why would I listen, to someone of a lower position, about rights? Jens is the one who can free us from the Sanctuary, yet you are refusing to cooperate? Perhapsー"
Minerva : "I don't care~! We made a vow that we would not get between Jens and his plans, yet you are doing it! You, Me, Typhon, Sekhmet, Carmilla, and Daphne, all of us made a vow!"
Echidna's eyelids lowered, and a wicked smile grew on her pale face. I took two steps back, as I felt quite out of place between these two human. The aura that these women let out was that of some monstrosity that was ready to devour the world. The wicked eyes of Echidna, hungry for knowledge, were enough to incarcerate one's soul. The infuriating wrath which Minerva's body language let out, was that of a fighter that would never give up.
But I, the one who stood at the rear, was just a normal boy. I didn't feel special in any kind of way. Yet, this women talked about me as if I was something greater, even greater than the Witch of Wrath. Truly, it was confusing.
Echidna : "I am following the rules Minerva. Contrary to belief, the rules tell us to not physically interfere, which we are not capable of doing so. However, by forging a contract with Jens, we could neglect those rules, and walk freely on the surface of reality."
Minerva : "Still! I won't allow it! I won'twon'twon'twon'twon't allow! Stop leading people in trickery!"
The light headed woman which stood next to me, ranting towards the Witch of Greed, her eyes glistened in tears that were overflowing her cute face.
Jens : "Guys stop!"
I tried to stop them by telling them so, but all I got were the two of them, looking at me with their beautiful eyes. Again, I felt out of place in this place. The two of them talked about a promise that I could not remember, thus that was the first thing I questioned.
Jens : "What… promise are you talking about?"
Minerva : "Tch!"
The Witch of Wrath formed fists out of her gentle, unscratched hands, and looked away. She made a dull noise by clicking her teeth together, and looked away.
Echidna : "We are not allowed to tell you anything about that promise. Even forging a contract with me, wouldn't neglect such promise."
Jens : "I see… Well, stop fighting for fuck sake!"
Then, the beautiful maiden tilted her head slightly while looking at me, as if I said something out of the ordinary.
Echidna : "I don't see any physical interference that was caused by a conflict between me and Minerva. This is a mere reminder that Minerva forgot her place."
Jens : "I don't care. Stop this conflict. You won't get anything out of it, as I won't accept your contract what so ever."
A smile rose on Echidna's face, a wicked smile as a matter of fact. Her eyes widened widely, and her cheeks blossomed red. Confused as ever, I looked at Minerva, who with shocked eyes looked at Echidna.
Echidna : "So you have made your decision… I see…"
Minerva : "ECHIDNA NO!"
The Witch of Wrath took a big step towards Echidna, and tried to jump on her. But before I could realize what happened, my consciousness stagnated in mere darkness. Everything around me started to grow jaded, as if I was getting pushed, being pulled, as if my soul was being unraveled. Everything shattered right before my eyes. Darkness overwhelmed Echidna's Dream World, and before I knew it, there was nothing but darkness.
There was nothing. I was embraced by nothingness. Pure darkness embraced my body, and it felt as if I was going to be engulfed by the shadows. I didn't know what was happening. However, in the far distant, in the abyss of the darkness, I saw a single light. The light chimed, and grew stronger. I raised my hand, and tried to touch it, but right before I could come in contact with the light, a scary, dark voice echoed in my skull.
Echidna : "I'll see you once you enter the Tomb again."
Right that moment, my consciousness trembled in mere shadows.
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Returning from the darkness that I descended from, I tried to open my eyes. Mossy stone bricks and cracked stone, that's all that lied in front of my eyes. As soon as I realized that I was looking at the ceiling, I raised my back, and looked around. I found myself, again, back at the Tomb of the Sanctuary. This was the place where I and Furuta talked regarding the future, which didn't brighten my day. I had a small head ache, and felt a little bit dizzy because I raised my body too quickly. Thus, I leaned my right shoulder against the wall. Before I could realize it, the dizziness and the head ache vanished. That right instant, I moved forward.
I walked down the same path which I followed when I entered the sanctuary, and after a few minutes, there was a dead end. I looked up, as there was light coming in from the entrance. I looked at the palm of my hand, and summoned the spear which I used to teleport myself. Thousands of sparking lights collided with each other in the palm of my hand, and in the matter of seconds, those scattering sparks became a physical weapon. I held the spear firmly in my hand. I put the spear behind my back, and then threw it with all the power that I had as high as possible.
The spear collided with the solid surface of the stairs that were at the entrance of the Tomb, thus I teleported to that exact location. I grabbed my spear, and entered my battle stance, as I was quite unsure what would happen once I would leave the Sanctuary.
I looked around me, but the scene remained nearly the same as from what I could recall. In the distance, I saw Emilia sitting on her knees, healing a woman that I wasn't familiar with. Next to Emilia, there was Yang Xiao Long and Weiss Schnee. Behind the two of them, there was Frederica Baumann talking to Ram. Two men I wasn't acquainted with were talking in front of the entrance of the Sanctuary, and Tattletale stood next to them. Then, I saw Angel, who stood right beside Melissa Lestrange, who was working on the wounds of Nathan Harmonia.
I walked down the stairs, and the moment I stepped on the solid surface of the ground, everyone turned their faces towards me. Never in my life had I seen this amount of happiness in people's hearts. Truly, it warmed my heart.
Emilia : "J…Jens!"
Emilia, the one who I swore to protect, rose from her knees, and ran towards me. However, right once she came close to Tattletale and the two men, she stopped running. Placing her hand on her chest, she looked rather worried than happy like two seconds ago.
Jens : "What's… Going on?"
I tried to ask the most common question as possible, but even that didn't calm Emilia. Tattletale turned towards Emilia.
Tattletale : "It's alright. You can come as well."
Those simple, meaningless words that Tattletale spoke out made a smile blossom on Emilia's cute face. Then, everyone else, except for Emilia, Tattletale and the two men, turned their faces back to business, as if there was something very important going on. I walked towards the two men, Tattletale and Emilia and looked them in the eyes.
The first man was a rather tall person, with clothes out of the ordinary. I felt somewhat intimidated standing in front of him. He looked like an iconic superhero from comics. His short brown hair wasn't a noticeable feature of men, it was rather ordinary. His actual eyes were not able to be seen, because of the eye mask which was in front of them. All that was able to be seen was a powerful person, with a skin-tight white and blue outfit.
Then, the second person. His eyes were crimson red, and his hair gray black. He had a rather pretty face for a man with slight stubble along his jawline. Along with a red, tattered cloak, he wears a gray dress shirt with a long tail, black dress pants and black dress shoes.
Jens : "…Do I know the two of you?"
The first man took a step forward, and then, before I could notice it, he was kneeling down. He closed his eyes, and raised his voice.
Legend : "My name is Legend, first in command of the Wardens. I, like Tattletale, have abandoned the Wardens in order to protect the one who I held dear, which is you."
He spoke in a heroic matter, yet his voice was somewhat unfitting to his appearance. According to the man in front of me, Legend, he is like Tattletale. Which means, he isn't my enemy anymore. However, I was still confused regarding the First in Command title. Did that mean he was from Eldia, working within the Wardens?
Jens : "You… are from Eldia?"
Perhaps it was quite stupid to talk about a whole different world this casually with people I wasn't familiar with. In an instant, the man raised his face towards me, and raised his body right after. He was a head taller than me, and looked down at me. Then, the man next to him widened his eyes slightly.
Legend : "Did Echidna tell you about that?"
??? : "Oh… great."
Legend asked me something, and the other man rolled his eyes while he said that. There was nothing to hide from these people, as it appeared that they were my allies, thus I spoke out the truth.
Jens : "Y-Yeah…"
I stuttered, as I was still recovering from the Dream World to Reality. Well, in reality, the two were not that different. I felt exactly the same as in the Dream World of Echidna, exactly as in the Tomb of the Sanctuary, but some bits were slightly different. Now that I walked down upon the surface of the world with the new me, with my Gate completely healed by Minerva, I felt alive.
Though, as I spoke out in confirmation of Legend's question, he made a face out of concern, and looked at the other man. I looked at the other man, with hair of darkness and eyes of dull crimson, the man looked down at me and smiled.
??? : "'sup pipsqueak."
His mature and manly voice was somewhat fitting to his character. His learn character and his basic clothes were somewhat noticeable for a person like him.
Jens : "Sorry, but who are you."
Qrow : "Qrow Branwen is the name. I am Raven's younger brother and a former member of Team STRQ."
I tilted my head slightly out of confusion. I hadn't seen Raven Branwen in a long time, thus I had to think hardly on how she looked like. Though, that woman's appearance was scorned on my mind, as she played a major role when Furuta attacked the mansion of Roswaal. And… Now that I thought about it, it wasn't quite a surprise that this man was related to that woman. Actually, they looked quite similar. In addition to that, a former member of Team STRQ… Those words left me in confusion once again.
Jens : "STRQ…? I assume RQ stands for Raven and Qrow, but what about the former two?"
Legend : "Summer Rose and Taiyang Xiao Long. The former was the mother of Ruby Rose, and the latter is the father of Yang Xiao Long. However, Summer Rose passed away after her final mission, and Taiyang is currently working and operating at the combat institute of the Dragon Kingdom of Lugnica."
Right, it felt like I heard something like that before already. Perhaps Ram once explained me back in the days, but I couldn't quite remember when or why. Anyway, I placed the palm of my hand on my forehead and started thinking. I needed to think regarding what to do now. I couldn't simply go back in the Tomb already. Echidna, the Witch of Greed told me that I would fail the first Trial what so ever if I would return instantly. I couldn't doubt those words, as I took them very, very literal.
Tattletale : "Jens. What happened?"
I raised my face, and looked at the woman who asked the question. Tattletale, Lisa Wilbourn, who stood in front of me and formed a face of genuine concern. Her outfit though, her lavender purple and black outfit was scratched and shred, as if she got caught up in a serious fight. Speaking of which, as I looked around, everyone was in a miserable state. Ram's maid outfit was destroyed, just like Frederica's, Nathan was unconscious, Emilia's arms were covered in blood, something happened.
Jens : "That can wait. What happened to you all?"
Now that I looked around, I noticed that two of the Emilia camp were missing. Meili Portroute disappeared since the Crusade against Greed, thus I assumed she already passed away. Though, Otto Suwen and Garfiel Tinsel were nowhere to be seen.
Jens : "Where are Otto and Garfiel? Are they alright?"
Tattletale : "We fought against the Damsel of Distress, but I lost track of where they were. My Semblance wasn't able to guess their exact location, and I couldn't find any traces of their fight."
Jens : "The Damsel of Distress? I thought she was imprisoned after Emilia and Puck dealt with her? What even happened while I was gone? The Witch of Greed told me that the time I spend in the Tomb wouldn't effect reality, but it seems I was gone for over an hour!"
The man in the skin-tight suit frowned his pretty face. His eyes narrowed, as if to pierce the sky, he growled and clenched his teeth.
Legend : "That woman is still a liar. You were gone for around an hour indeed."
Qrow : "Calm the fuck down, shall we? Jens."
I looked at the man with slight stubble along his jawline grabbed a flask out of his gray dress shirt. Based on the flask, I assumed there was alcohol in it. I slightly tilted my head once more, as I was somewhat confused why he would drink alcohol in a place like this, especially under these circumstances. I raised my face slightly as the man spoke out my name.
After he took a sip of the flask, his face frowned, thus confirmed that it was indeed alcohol which resided within the flask. The man then sighed, and looked at me. His face expressed a tired expression. Though, I was easily able to tell that the man which stood in front of me, was really freakin' drunk.
Qrow : "Ya didn't quite miss anythin' important. The Clown though, Roswaal L Mathers got away. Emerald Sustrai, the one in association with the Blood Cloud, and apparently in association with Roswaal and the Washuu King also disappeared."
Tattletale : "Then, the Damsel of Distress and Adam Taurus. Yes, we did indeed imprison her when we entered the Sanctuary. However, someone or something freed her from her Magical Prison, presumably Adam Taurus. He was the one who was at the Crusade against Masquerade during the Royal Ceremony. He fought against Yang, Weiss and Blake, but lost apparently, yet is as well, no where to be seen."
Legend : "That said, the Blood Hunter Elsa Granhiert is also gone, and she left no traces of herself in the Sanctuary. It is a disgusting thing which I am about to say, but I assume they are retreating for the time being, and will return once it's their turn."
Again, a lot of information. At this point, I was quite used to the "Question Everything You Learn" method. Though, there was no thing to question as the three of them spoke out what happened. I looked at the sky, and simply hoped that Otto Suwen and Garfiel Tinsel were safe… But there is no way that I can just go take the Sanctuary Trials while they are gone. That's simply beyond my actions and what I am capable of.
Jens : "I see― hmpf!"
Suddenly, without expecting such comfort what so ever, Emilia's arms embraced me in sympathy. As she hugged me without me expecting it, I fell down on the ground and collapsed.
Emilia : "Idiot!"
However, I did not expect such a response. Still, she was hugging me. I pushed her away slightly but was still sitting on my knees. As I looked at Emilia's beautiful face, her eyes glistened as they were completely overflown by tears, and engulfed by her beautiful silver hair which swayed in the wind.
Emilia : "You left me all alone! You told me everything would be alright! But we nearly died! How could you! You… You… Liar!"
A piercing void embraced my heart, and left it with a scar. I was basically unable to say anything what so ever. Those words left me with a speechless expression as I was still starring at her face as if she was the one that stole my heart.
I looked around, and noticed Tattletale, Legend and Qrow both looking away with a sad face. As a matter of fact, I almost forgot that they were standing next to us. To be honest, this wasn't quite a pretty place to stand, so I gently requested for a moment for just me and Emilia.
Jens : "Tattletale, Legend, Qrow… Mind giving us a minute."
Without a response, they nodded and turned around. They walked towards the other members of the Camp while they were starring at me and the crying Emilia. Their eyes all stared at me, as if they were thinking I said something wrong, which I did not. Ram's facial expression in particular was the scariest. She looked at me as if she was ready to choke me to death. However, that could wait. For now, I needed to calm Emilia down.
Jens : "Emilia… I am sorry! I didn't mean to leave you here just to worry. Like I already told you, I would return, and look! I am here! Probably more sane than ever before!"
Emilia : "Quit the talk! I worried so much!"
Her tears streamed down to her chin, and scattered on the surface of the soil. Her beautiful amethyst eyes that glistened in the sunshine and the overflowing tears, left me breathlessly. Then, her silver hair which was being swayed by the gentle wind, left my body motionless.
Jens : "I know… And I am sorry… I didn't want to leave you just to worry. It is me who needs to take the Trials. It's just me who can take the Trials after all."
Emilia : "STOP LYING!"
The long lashed bordering her eyes trembled as I tried to calm her down. She punched the soil with her pale-skinned yet gentle hands. Out of all that she could have said, that was the last thing I expected from Emilia.
Emilia : "You are just a Liar! Why can't you just tell me why? It was me who was supposed to take the Trial. I am the Royal Election Candidate who is supposed to rule the Kingdom. I am the one who should take the risks. It's me who should protect her friends and Camp Members from fiends and distress. Then tell me―― Why are you the one who is protecting me? Just… Why!"
Jens : "Because I love you."
Seeing her frozen right in front of me, with even her thoughts ground to a halt, my cheeks slightly softened. It wasn't a relief, and certainly not a ridicule. If one must give it a name, it'd have to be nostalgia. I hadn't said those words in a long time… But now had to be the time.
So nostalgic that I wanted to shout out everything inside myself, alongside everything that she wanted to hear.
Jens : "I love you! I love you, love you, love you, so much that I can't help myself but love you!"
Emilia : "W-What're you… saying, all of a sudden….?"
Jens : "I love your super-pretty silver hair, I love your amethyst eyes and how they look like jewels when they're wet, I super-love your voice and how I get dreamy just from hearing it, and there's your slender long legs and your fair-white skin, and our crazy-ideal height difference, and the face that just being with you makes my heart race uncontrollably, and all of it makes me fall head-over-heels in love with you! I love you soooo much Emilia!"
I grabbed Emilia's hand, just to make it even more clear.
Her beautiful and oh so special eyes, her silver hair that could make one breathless, everything about her was perfect. I am sure that I am not the only one who loves her, but she is the only one who can't love herself. All she needs to understand is that she's amazing the way she is.
Emilia : "――"
Adrenaline pumping, my forehead started to sweat, and I was pretty sure my cheeks blossomed crimson red. Actually, I think my entire face turned red the moment I grabbed her soft hand. Still, she was crying, and made a face out of sorrow. I had to make it even more clear, this wasn't enough.
Jens : "I love how dedicated you are, and it's adorable how you put your best into everything, I admire how fervent you get for other people's sakes, and the way you disregard yourself makes me feel like I just can't leave you alone, and nothing would make me happier than to be able to watch all of your expressions and all of your emotions from here at your side... that's what I've always felt. Thus, I am so sorry for even leaving you alone for a second… Just like when Regulus Corneas took you from me, I saved you. This will be no different, I will never leave you in a dangerous situation! I will not allow anyone to hurt you! Because… You are the one who stole my heart y'know"
I winked. But I kind of cringed at myself for telling all this. Actually, now that I think about all of this. This was the first time we shared our actual emotions with each other. Surely, we told each other we like each other, though she didn't understand. Now that she was angry at me, was the perfect moment to tell her how I feel.
Emilia : "Back when Regulus Corneas took me… You were not angry?"
Jens : "Never!"
Emilia : "Now that you took the trials, instead of me… You are not angry?"
Jens : "No!"
Emilia : "The fact that I can't understand love… You aren't angry?"
Jens : "Of course not!"
Emilia : "I see."
Tears stopped flowing, hair stopped being swayed, as if time's flow got disturbed by those powerful questions. Yet, I still held her hand in mine firmly. I looked at her, and didn't lose her out of my sight. To me, Emilia was all that I cared about. She was my reason to believe. She was my reason to exist. She…
Emilia : "You're not… Angry at me. ――You won't… even get angry at me."
Her voice was quite, hoarse and trembling. By the time I furrowed my brows in astonishment, it was already too late. Looking down, biting her lip, Emilia's eyes opened wide. Tears welled under her eyelids as she tried to keep them from spilling once again.
Emilia : "Why… can't you be angry."
Jens : "Emilia please…"
Emilia : "I did something selfish… didn't I? I did something that distressed you, didn't I? I disappeared without saying a word, and I worried you, didn't I? I made you anxious, wondering if I'd run away... that's the sort of thing I did, wasn't it? And when someone does that to you, shouldn't you be angry? Or aren't you like that, Jens?"
Nothing that Emilia could do would make me angry. All that infuriated me, was the fact that just now I realized how unnatural my behavior was towards Emilia. I lowered my face towards the ground as emotions started to get the better of me. I didn't cry, I wasn't angry, I wasn't actually really sure what kind of face I was making. Was I sad? Was I disappointed? Was I destressed?
Emilia : "Why aren't you angry….? You're not angry… because you never expected anything from me in the first place, right? You saw how I failed, but you're still being kind to me…. Because you aren't even disappointed in me, right? Because you never thought I could do anything… Right? That's how it is, right!?"
Perhaps those were the fears that Emilia had always harbored, but was never able to voice, like a darkness wallowing in the depths of her heart. Just the thought of this made me nauseous.
Jens : "No! You don't understand in the slightest! I… I just love you… Is it really that bad to do something out of kindness…?"
I raised my face, and looked at her shocked expression. Just like her, I was defiled by the anxiety and the overflowing of emotions. I raised my right hand which was holding hers, and looked at her.
Jens : "I… I just love you!!"
Emilia : "You're lying!!!"
I spewed forth all my emotions in desperation, only for Emilia to shout over me. How much of a detour did I once take just to voice these very feelings? How many obstacles had I overcome just for the sake of conveying those words to her? These confessions of love, thrown around so much that they begin to feel cheap, were all my truest sentiments, fused with the whole of my being, seeing through every portion of my very own soul.
Jens : "I am not lying! I love you! But how about you tell me what you feel about me for once! All you've ever given me is insinuations! Do you have any idea how much it jolts my heart every time you make those cute expressions and it seems like there's hope?! Stop messing with me and be real for fucking once!"
Emilia : "I-I am not messing with you what so ever! I-I'm just being normal, stop saying weird things! I have so many things to think about right now and I'm facing such serious problems, and you're asking me how I feel about you…. I can't think about those kind of things! Stop it! Stop bullying with me!"
Jens : "Who's bullying who here!? It's you! You're the one bullying me!"
Emilia : "No! Stop! You're bullying me and it's just you Jens!"
Without a shred of any kind of logic, it was a clash of emotions.
Like two children throwing tantrums showering insults at each other, me and Emilia loudly asserted our perspective feelings. Our voices echoed through the hollow, square of the village, shattering the long silence that'd existed since the creation of the Sanctuary. The intensity of our argument could practically slap the Tomb's sleeper awake, with the two of us raggedly panting as we guided our fruitless quarrel towards its conclusion.
Emilia : "I can't trust anything you say anymore! Do you realize that!? You're simply a liar! You broke your promise about your return, and then you just show up in front of me again like nothing happened….. Y-You thought I wouldn't notice, didn't you?!"
Jens : "Quit putting a drama scene all of a sudden! Everyone is listening to us! Aren't you embarrassed to act like an emotional child?!"
Emilia : "I shouldn't have to hear this from a promise-breaking liar!"
Jens : "Me breaking my promise has nothing to do with this for fuck sake!"
Emilia's cheeks blushed with fury as I callously tried to sidestep the issue. So overwhelmed by emotions that she couldn't even speak, Emilia took several ragged breaths before finally wrenching out the words,
Emilia : "You promised that everything would be alright while you were gone… Why didn't you keep your promise…? Nathan nearly died, Yang nearly lost her life, Blake is injured, Otto and Garfiel are still nowhere to be seen… even I almost died if it wasn't for Legend… Why did you make a promise you couldn't keep?!"
Jens : "Just so you could fucking rest for once! Don't you realize how stressed you are all the time? We are currently in a War against Time! We barely have time to make decisions. We need to make our steps through out this adventure. Why don't you just simply understand that YOU are the reason why I am here? YOU are the reason why I wake up every morning. YOU are the reason why I want to risk my life!"
Finally, with such words leaving my mouth, she crawled back a little bit. Her eyes frowned a little bit. Not out of fury, but because she was shocked. She placed her hands on chest, and then gently breathed out.
Emilia : "I… I just can't understand. You're going through hell… just for me. But I never did anything for you. It was me who was supposed to take the Trials of the Sanctuary, yet you went there yourself. It was me who was supposed to save the civilians of the Capital, yet it was you. I haven't done anything worth noticing, yet you are the one gives me goosebumps. You are the one… I… I…"
Jens : "Just tell me Emilia… You can do it…"
Emilia : "I just… want you to be the one that I will come to love someday."
Finally, with such words leaving her mouth, my consciousness was shaken. As if the sky became clear, as if all wounds on my body got healed, as if all void and darkness was enlightened by such words, a smile scarred on my face.
Jens : "I am sorry for breaking that promise… I won't make a promise I cannot keep, not now and nevermore."
Emilia : "――Ha…Ha… You dummy!"
The last thing I saw was a smiling Emilia, with in the corner of her eyes tears, and her cheeks bright red, who sat on her knees in front of me. The moment Emilia spoke out those words, that right moment she jumped towards at me. She opened up her arms, placed her white maiden-like fingers on my cheeks.
I was unsure what was going on. Was she going to stretch my cheeks out of anger? Was she going to punch me in the face? I closed my eyes and frowned my brows out of fear. But when I opened my eyes, I saw Emilia closing her eyes. Her gentle, maiden-like lips approached mine, and before I could comprehend why this was happening, we kissed.