"Aw, come on!"
I stepped out of the office after just about the worst day ever. My boss personally had it out for me, I was stuck in meetings all day, and I was still late on bills despite working overtime.
Now it was raining. Oh, and my bike had mysteriously disappeared.
The remnants of the sawed through bike lock were there instead, discarded like unwanted pieces of meat.
Today was not my day.
I was no stranger to bad luck, in fact, it seemed to follow me around wherever I went. The guys at the office took great joy in nicknaming me Bad Luck Brad. No matter how many times I told them to stop it, the name had stuck. And so had my bad luck.
I pulled the hood of my jacket up over my head and sighed. It was three miles back to my shithole of an apartment, and I didn't particularly feel like walking the whole way. Maybe it would dry up if I sheltered for long enough?
Waited ten minutes. It didn't. Now there was lightning and thunder in the mix too, along with a sharp wind that blew the rain into my face even from my place of shelter. So much for not getting wet!
I could have called a cab, but that would have taken money. And money was something I was fresh out of.
So instead I drew my hoodie closer around myself, set my jaw, and strode out into the rain.
* * *
When I returned home, completely sodden and dripping, my mood was no less foul. I stripped off the wet lump of clothes as soon as I was in the door and tossed them in the laundry basket. What a day. The small studio apartment I rented was nothing special. It was sparsely furnished with nothing more than a bed, a lumpy futon, a TV, and a few kitchen essentials, but it was home. At least until I could afford something better.
I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sunk down onto the futon with a groan. For years I felt like I'd been running the same rat race. Like I was stuck on a never-ending treadmill while my coworkers and neighbors had it all figured out. What did they have that I didn't have?
I grimaced and sipped my cheapo beer. All throughout my life, I felt like I'd been missing some essential manual to success. While others got married, got promotions, or started families, I was stuck here in my shitty little apartment with my shitty beer and shitty futon. I was stuck in a job I hated, my social life was non-existent, and forget about dating.
But this was my lot in life, at least for now.
I shrugged and grabbed the TV remote, flicking it on. My favorite show had just started and I settled back into the cushions for an evening of blissful escapism.
That's when it happened.
The lights flickered, then went out. The TV snapped off. Everything was silent.
"Hey!" I screamed to no one. "My show!"
I gritted my teeth as I got up to check the breaker. Surely they hadn't cut off my power, too? Someone up there was seriously testing me, and not in a good way.
Before I had a chance to pry open the door to the breaker cabinet, the power came back on with a mechanical whir and the TV flashed back to life.
Weird.
"Huh," I thought. "Must have been a fluke."
When I sat back down in front of the TV, my show wasn't playing anymore. No. There was a large room filled with people like you see for those political press conferences. There was a stage and a podium. "Announcing Dr. Jack Harrison."
"What?" I mouthed. "This isn't..."
I flipped the channel, thinking things must have gotten messed up with the power outage. Maybe it had changed the channel somehow.
Flip, flip, flip. No. Every channel was the same thing. The same guy. What the hell? I'd never seen something take over all the channels like this before. Only seen it in movies. But whatever it was, it must have been breaking news to take over all the channels. I held my breath and listened in.
The crowd echoed in polite applause and a man strode out onto the stage. He was a middle-aged guy or older, salt and pepper hair and spectacles. Unabashedly academic. The man, who I assumed was Dr. Harrison, tapped a stack of papers on the podium, adjusted the mic, and began.
"You are all living in a lie."
Those were the first words out of his mouth. Great, another crackpot. And this was important enough to interrupt my show? I considered calling the cable company to complain when he continued.
"Yes, you heard me correctly." His steely gray eyes stared straight at the camera. Almost like he was staring right at me. Creepy. "Your life, your relationships, the way you perceive this world, have all been preordained. Programmed, you could say."
Mutters of confusion and surprise rose from the crowd, and despite myself, I was on the edge of my seat too. What was he talking about? Some kind of conspiracy theory?
"My colleagues and I have been researching in secret for the last decade, and finally we've come upon some definitive results. Take heed, my friends, and take notice: you are living in a simulation. A fantasy. A game, if you will. And this means that--"
The image on the TV screen went dark. I heard shouts of dismay and the sound of chairs toppling. Then everything stopped.
I blinked at the screen, mouth agape. What the hell just happened? My mind was still reeling with news of the simulation. The more I thought about it, the more uneasy I got. He meant...I wasn't in control? That someone, somewhere, was playing with us, like a game?
I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. No. It wasn't a dream. Or should I say, a nightmare? My breaths came quick and my heart thundered in my chest as I heard a crackling sound from outside the apartment. When I looked out, I could see the streetlights going out one by one, plunging the neighborhood into darkness.
And then encroaching blackness was coming my way.
I didn't know what to do. I tried to keep a good head on my shoulders, but my brain was already speeding like a race car. First this shitty day, then the weird conference, then the blackout, and now...
The lights went out in my apartment, leaving me alone.
I tried to rush to the kitchen cabinet where I kept emergency candles, but I couldn't move! I tested my arms, my legs, my head. I was stuck! Trapped! Paralyzed!
I could only watch with wide, terrified eyes as a floating green hologram appeared in front of me.
= EMULATION AND RECOLONIZATION TESTING HUB (E.A.R.T.H.) SYSTEM MESSAGE =
[ Warning: E.A.R.T.H. Core Destabilized. ]
[ Recalibrating... ]
[ Recalibration failed. ]
[ Corrupted data found on levels 1, 2, and 5. ]
[ Initiating fallback routines... ]
[ Error: No fallback routine found. ]
[ Error: E.A.R.T.H. Core critical. ]
[ System damage imminent. ]
[ Emergency protocols engaged... ]
[ Warning: Data loss may occur. ]
[ Going down for hard reset in 5...4...3...2...1... ]
[ ... ]
The reality ceased to exist, and me along with it.
At first, I thought I'd fallen asleep. That I was dreaming, somehow. It was like those weird out of body experiences some people say they have when they're about to die.
But this was different. I wasn't even sick! I was just...there. I was on my couch, watching TV, and then...
######
[ Welcome to the Emulation and Recolonization Testing Hub (EARTH). ]
[ Hub #238: 'Magnificence Through Might' is coming back online... ]
[ Loading, please wait... ]
[ System checks: ]
[ Life support systems: OK ]
[ Ecosystem Initialization: OK ]
[ Restoring Saved Data: ... ]
...
...
[ ERROR ]
[ Save file has been corrupted. Reverting to factory settings... ]
[ Generating new world seed... Done! ]
[ Launching new seed #6207, please stand by... ]
[ Generating lifeforms... ]
...
...
...
[ Welcome to E.A.R.T.H. #6207 -- 'Valor and Wrath' ]
[ Due to a system glitch, we were not able to retrieve your character. Please inspect your new assignment below: ]
[ New Species: Dungeon Core ]
[ Apologies for any inconvenience -- have fun! ]