POV: Hisakawa Naoki.
It was a rainy day, thunder lit up the dark sky after the city lights went out temporarily.
I was asked by my aunt whom took both me and my sister in after we lost both of our parents,
"Naoki, go buy me cigarettes."
The nearest convenient store was 4 km away from home.
We didn't have the luxury of having more than one umbrella.
That rusted dark greyed umbrella was the only one we had, and it was for my aunt.
We weren't allowed to use it.
But on that rainy day, the aunt that usually yelled at us from the top of her lungs, gave it to me with a smile mile wide on her thin face.
I couldn't help but notice the veins popping out from the hand she waved when she was seeing me off.
The 15 years old me smiled merrily and ran like I was running on a field of flowers despite the harsh weather around me.
I reached the store and got the cigarettes.
I noticed the sale on the ramen and I bought three packets after I remembered how thin my aunt hands were before I left.
She need to eat more.
I quickly ran back home as fast as possible.
I wanted to see the rare smile again.
I opened the door slowly and quietly to surprise her.
As I peek my head over to see inside the living room, I drop the bag in my hand on the floor.
The smile I had on my face faded into a dull face and I dragged my feet inside and with a shaky voice I said,
"Aunt, please stop."
My aunt turned around facing me with her blood covered face.
Her droopy eyes squinted and she said between her huffs and puffs,
"You're back already!?"
Then she moved her body swaying back and forth till she left the room.
She grabbed the plastic bag I bought and went inside her bedroom.
I turned around, brought a bag of ice and went to close the door to the living room.
I slowly applied the ice on the crying face of my beloved younger sister as the blood rushed out of her wounds.
The more wounds I discover on her body, the bigger the lump in my throat grew.
I gritted my teeth to stop the water from falling out of my eyes.
My sister's lips moved sideways forming a huge smile with her eyes barely open she told me,
"The flowers didn't die in this weather, aren't they amazing?"
I was just about to scold her what is she thinking at a time like this! but I was speechless when I looked at her hand to see her grabbing a withered flower, which been dyed red by her blood, tightly.
My tears started dropping one by one, as I wiped her blood with my shaky hand.
"I'm sorry, Iori, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have gone out… I'm sorry."
She turned her head sideways to hide her tears as they drip out of her swollen eyes.
————
Iori is my little sister, she is very sweet and always leaves me flowers on my bed before leaving for school. She is a bright kid, her smile never left her face despite the harsh treatment she received from my alcoholic aunt that hit her on a daily basis.
As a big brother I always felt responsible, it was my responsibility to make my sister live a happy life.
I worked multiple part-time jobs to provide money for my aunt and sister, while I secretly saved money on the side so that when I graduate high school I would move out from that house with Iori.
Despite the cruel family hold that I was raised in, I was quite the popular kid at school.
With a mask that had a smile on it, I ended up being in the center of the happy noisy group.
I didn't dislike this at all.
I felt like the school was the only place where I can be without any worry.
And in school, I don't have to be alone, I don't have to suffer.
The price for this happiness was just one cheap smile.
As the giggles from our group risen, all the kids in class started glaring at us to lower our voices.
My eyes moved across the classroom till they focused on a kid that sat at the very end.
He had scratches all over his body, exactly like my sister.
I quickly stood up and headed toward him.
If I remember correctly, his name is Izumi, he is known for always having a loud and noisy voice and a glare on his face.
I sat at the seat in front of him, and kept staring at his hands which had scratches all over them.
"What are you doing?"
A voice came from his small lips.
I lifted my eyes up to see a confused look on his face.
I quickly wore the mask that always saved me in school, the smiling mask, and I said with a cheerful voice,
"Do you want to be my friend?"
Unlike the happy reaction I was expecting I was met with a glare.
"No."
And then he stood up and moved out of the class.
This was the first time I saw someone like this, people in school always tried to fit in, tried stuff they never liked just to gain popularity, making jokes frequently to let people get attached to them but this guy is not even trying to associate himself with anyone.
One of my friends came over and with a frown on his face he said,
"who does he think he is?! Don't let it get to you, Naoki."
I see.
I was supposed to feel ignited and frustrated.
But even when he treated me that way, I only felt admiration for the guy that didn't need other people's help to feel better about himself.
From that day on, I found myself always staring at him.
He was always alone in classroom and stared at the window, he seemed to be a very calm person till I noticed him talking to another person.
whenever other people approached him he always yelled and rushed into meaningless fights.
I guess he is not very good at dealing with other people.
Another thing I noticed was how his injuries kept increasing day by day.
——
"He sounds like a bad guy…"
My sister said as she rolled on the bed.
I stared at the homework in front of me and I said with a faint voice,
"But somehow I pity him for always being alone."
My sister started giggling and a bright smile surfaced on her face, she told me,
"This is the first time I seen you interested in someone other than me, I always felt guilty thinking I made you develop some kind of sister complex."
My eyes widened, and I made a pout face, I yelled,
"but you are way more important!"
She sat on the bed and looked me straight in the eyes with a confused look she started inspecting me,
"Siscon?"
She stood up and crossed her arms together, and with eyes full of worry she announced,
"I can't let my brother be a creep! I'll introduce you to girls! Don't worry! I'll find someone better than me!"
I started laughing uncontrollably,
"Then I'll be counting on you, little sister."
She laughed with a proud look,
"Fufu!"
And left the room.
I stared at the closed door, and my determination had only increased.
I will definitely make her live a happier life.
—–
As I graduated and got accepted in a scholarship in one of the public universities, I was able to afford renting an apartment.
And after leaving a note, we both packed our stuff and moved at night.
My sister giggled excitedly,
"It's like we're filming a movie!"
Instead of the mask I always wore at school, I always find myself smiling happily in front of my sister.
We had already moved to an apartment in Juwan city and in there we decided to start fresh and live a happy life together.
But I never thought that even after escaping my aunt there will be another disaster that will befall on us.
The smile that was on my sister face faded to pale blue face when I took her for a checkup in Juwan general hospital.
"She has lung cancer… it has already reached a late stage, there is nothing we can do about it at this point. You look young but for the following 4 years you should do what you want to do, with it spread this much at best you have only 4 years left."
I raised my hand and swayed it till it hit the doctor face.
I gritted my teeth and pulled my sister out of the room.
No.
No.
No.
This can't be happening.
If there is a god in this world, how can he be this cruel?
How can such a thing be allowed?
What wrong did she do?
Why?
Why is it always my sister?
I won't accept this.
I won't ever accept this.
"Apologize."
A tone I never heard from my sister went out of her mouth.
I stopped and stared at her, her hands that usually are trembling and full of scratches, were just there holding mine.
They weren't shaking, and the scratches on them have already faded away.
I had forgotten that, so much time have passed already.
So much time.
This person in front of me, was not my little sister anymore, she was an adult that can handle a shock like this with a straight face.
She handled it better than me.
Her black eyes gleamed as she pulled me back to the doctor.
She reseated on the seat and bowed her head down and apologized,
"I'm sorry for my brother's behavior earlier."
The doctor patted her head and replied,
"You're very strong, do you want to be hospitalized? It might end up not working, but it might work and your illness… we might be able to find a cure."
Hope.
His words weren't as assuring to be called hope, but I could see a faint light inside them that seemed warm enough to be called hope.
Iori raised her head and said,
"No, I refuse to be hospitalized."
I shifted my head toward my sister who had spoken an unbelievable thing.
Unclenched by her previous statement she continued,
"I want to die at home not in a hospital."
Like a knife called reality, her words stabbed me.
My sister just announced the bitter truth without any sugarcoating.
She acknowledged that fact already.
Why?
Why can she say such a thing with a straight face?
I can't understand.
I tried to convince my sister who just spoke of death as a calm thing,
"Iori, I know how small the chance is but its still a chance! and you might find a cure!"
My sister met my worried eyes with a glare and said,
"I mean if we are expecting death anyway, we won't be surprised when it come, and rather than spending a lot of money on a deathbed, I want to spend it to live."
I can't say anything to the unknown expressions my sister is showing.
The sister that always used to smile by my side was glaring at me with eyes that have lost every hope in the world.
Is it the money?
Does she think I can't afford it?
Is she worried about me?
She really is an idiot.
When her life is in danger, how can she be worried about me?
The doctor said with a soft tone,
"Death is not a surprise at this place. However, death should be surprising…regardless of the location."
The tone in his voice turned into a threatening one using words as cold as ice he said,
"Do you wish for your brother to be the one feeling helpless being unable to help you or us at the hospital?"
I stood up with anger on my face, glaring at the doctor.
Just what in the world is he telling a sick person!?
I shifted my eyes quickly toward my sister, to see her eyes wide open.
My sister lips started twitching and tears started flowing down her cheeks as her long brown hair fluttered.
When I saw that scene, the scene I tried to prevent my whole life, the scene of my sister crying, my heart tightened and breathing became the heaviest action.
I pulled my sister into a hug while her sobbing filled the room.
"I'm sorry, brother, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
I patted her back as she cried at the cruelty of her fate.
I pulled her back and I wore it for the first time in front of my sister, the smiling mask.
"It's fine! I already have enough money to put you in the hospital right away, and I felt bored not going to part time jobs anymore, so this is just the perfect timing to get started again. Don't worry, I'm sure, this will pass too! After you get better let's live in that big house you wanted! Just leave it to your brother!"
This is better.
This is for the better.
Happy life?
Make her forget that pain she suffered so far?
That was just a dream.
Life isn't kind enough to allow us to dream.
I won't try to aim for that dream anymore, I'll make it a reality.
I'll find a cure for her.
I'll make money for her.
I'll make her happy.
I'll make her smile again.
I'm the only brother she has, I have to do it.
As I took the mask off, I saw it.
A face that held more grief than when she learnt that she will die.
A face that held sadness in its core.
On that day, my sister broke.
—-
"Excuse me, I want to see my sister."
I said to the nurse exiting my sister's room at Juwan general hospital.
After looking at me closely the nurse said with apologetic tone,
"She doesn't want to see any visitors."
Today too, I was unable of seeing her.
She kept rejecting my visits every single day.
As I exited the hospital, a voice called out to me,
"Y-You are that fake guy?"
It was the same guy that always was alone in the classroom, it was Izumi.
We moved to another city, why is he here?
Did he move too?
He moved closer with a smile on his face he asked cheerfully,
"You don't look the type, but did you get into a fight too?"
I didn't understand what he meant at first, but he probably thought I was injured that's why I'm at the hospital.
I was speechless not because he thought I was injured but that he thinks people come to hospitals only when they get into fights.
At that point, I saw it in him, the smile that my sister always wore on her face.
It was a smile I always showed to my sister, a genuine smile.
A smile I won't ever get the chance to show it again.
A smile I'm not allowed to wear.
A tissue appeared in my vision making me lift my head upward to see Izumi offering it,
"A man shouldn't cry in front of others."
I wipe my cheek to see a drop of water on it, I look at the sky above us to see that it was gloomy.
It must have been raindrop.
Will it rain?
But this guy… he thought I'm crying.
"You're wrong, I'm not crying this is-"
Before letting me finish my sentence he interrupted with a smirk on his face while looking at the distance,
"Don't worry about it, I won't tell anyone. It's fine to cry once in a while."
I think he is trying to act cool about it while being nice to me,
"As I was saying, you're wrong this is not like that-"
He interrupted me again this time with a serious expression on his face he stared at me saying,
"It's fine I understand, you don't have to explain it. man's tears do not need to be explained."
This guy is hopeless.
He's not even planning on listening to me.
I'll just take the tissue and get it done with.
As I raised my hand to take it, the sky started pouring down.
I excitedly said,
"See! It was because of this!"
His face shifted toward the sky and his face turned beet red like his hair.
I heard him whisper to himself,
"So embarrassing…"
And that was the day I learnt, he didn't only have his glare, he has a beautiful smile and a hilarious embarrassed face.
I found out that he also goes to Juwan university and I kept hanging around him.
Despite his idiotic actions, the words he mutters sometimes make me forget about the cruelty of life that I suffered in.
He was my salvation at that point of time.
And so, three years passed without me ever getting a chance to glance at my sister who kept refusing my visits.
—
I ended up getting accepted in the same company as Izumi.
I could afford buying the house I promised Iori, but living alone in that house felt sad, I offered to Izumi if he wanted to live with me and he accepted as long as he pays half the cost.
I accepted at once.
if Iori got out of the hospital, having a housemate like Izumi will surely make her smile return.
Until that day came, I had forgotten the cruelty of this world.
—
"Since it's been awhile since we last talked, how about we have dinner together today? I'll bring chicken and beer"
Izumi told me with the usual smile on his face.
I was busy with work that I didn't actually interact with him much lately, and seeing the awkward Izumi offering to hang out with me first was unexpected that it made me smile unconsciously.
I was about to head home but then I saw Izumi heading to a different location.
"Izumi!"
I called out for him, but it seemed like he didn't hear me and kept walking.
I followed him out of curiosity wondering where he is heading.
Suddenly, he started singing in a loud noisy voice.
At that time, I had discovered a new side of him, the tone-deaf side.
The beautiful scenery on the side was far too beautiful for words.
I kept starting at it that I failed to notice in time.
A truck appeared out of nowhere and screeched before hitting a garbage dump.
It wasn't long before the truck exploded.
Seeing this scene like it was just out of movies I couldn't help but exclaim,
"For real!? Did this just happen?"
I better call the ambulance.
I faced sideways and asked,
"Do you think anyone survived that, Izumi?"
As these words escaped my mouth, my phone fell from my hands on the ground.
Izumi was not walking by my side.
He was walking in front of me.
In front of me.
He was…
My hand started trembling as I come to realize that Izumi is nowhere to be seen.
I quickly drag myself to the leftovers from the exploded truck.
My voice kept trembling as I kept calling,
"I-Izumi? … Izumi? … answer me… Izumi?"
As I come to realize that only ash is left, I drop on the ground.
This is life.
I failed again.
I lost the battle again.
Why is this world so cruel?
Why does this have to happen?
What did we do that was so wrong?
My eyes catch something moving out of the water.
I focus on it to see it was a person pulling something out.
He was pulling Izumi out.
A smile lit on my face.
Hope.
I saw that hope again.
I quickly got on my shaky feet and started running toward them.
He's alive!
He's alive!
Izumi is alive!
The guy started pulling him into a car.
It seemed that he is taking him to the hospital.
Which could only mean that he really is still alive!
I ran faster toward them but failed to catch up to them before the car engine starts.
No, I won't give up just yet.
If I run after him, he'll notice me and stop.
I started running after the car.
Suddenly, the car flew in the air.
I stared at the car as it hit a tree with the smile from before still hanging from my face.
My legs failed to support me and gave up.
This must be a joke.
Why does this have to happen?
Izumi used to say that a man shouldn't cry easily, but this… this should be fine right?
It should be fine.
My cries echoed in the empty road, as I stare at the crushed car in front of me.
I started dragged my feet who gave in to the car.
He's fine.
He should be fine.
I pulled myself up and looked inside the blood covered window.
And saw Izumi's head separated from his body.
I felt my stomach rushing out from my mouth.
No.
No.
No.
This is a lie.
This can't be.
It's a lie.
I stare at my hands which were covered in blood from the car.
The blood started moving from my hands inside the car.
My breathing became unsteady.
I dared to look inside the car again.
This time the blood covered window became a plain broken window.
Unable to believe my eyes I shifted them inside, to see Izumi's head moving back to his body by itself and reattached itself to the neck.
My mouth moved by itself unable to believe what my eyes just saw,
"W-What is this?"
I could see Izumi breathing inside the crushed car.
I shift my eyes to see the driver bleeding badly in the front.
I quickly called for an ambulance.
—–
As Izumi reached the hospital, he got hospitalized despite not having any seen injuries.
I went to get flowers from the park next to the hospital, the flowers I used to get my sister every day, the flowers that always got thrown away since my sister refused to take them or even see me.
When I bought the flowers, as I paid I heard a loud bang.
Like a vase breaking, like a cup crushing, like someone falling from a great height.
I headed toward the sound to see the guy that came with Izumi on the floor bleeding his brains out.
I covered my mouth to prevent my stomach from rushing out again.
And the blood just as it did back at the riverbank with Izumi it rushed inside his body.
His wounds started patching up and healing like some sort of magic.
If I remember correctly, Izumi's blood got transferred to this guy to save him.
The guy stood up and was inspecting his body shocked by the results he got.
An old man voice called out,
"Yasahiro! What are you doing here? We'll be late."
It was the chairman.
Wait, Yasahiro? Isn't that the name of the new president?
Izumi had that power all along, and yet he never shared it with me.
My sister is inside suffering without any cure and he was living an immortal life happily smiling.
I crushed the flowers in my hands as I glared at the back of the chairman and the new president.
Why do these people live a happy life while mine is filled with nothing but cruelty?
Why do I have to suffer but these people get the easy way out?
Yasahiro… Miscul… Izumi … I'll get revenge on you.
Living selfishly like this, I'll make you pay for it.
—
As I talked with Izumi when he woke up he acted like he was scared of knowing about his ability.
Is he acting so I won't know about it?
You won't fool me anymore.
He seemed so excited to see the new president, he must be excited since he'll be seeing a person he gave immortality to.
Is this why he thinks so highly of the chairman too?
Did he make the chairman immortal too? Then he made the new president immortal because he is his grandson?
He fooled me completely.
—
"I read a person can survive a broken neck if the spinal cord doesn't suffer from severe injury. Shall we test that?"
I said as I held a hammer heading toward the tied-up Izumi.
Acting again he showed a scared expression on his stupid face and muttered,
""Haa…Haa…You got to be frigging kidding me…"
It won't work on me, I won't fall for it anymore.
I'll kill you, take your blood and give it to Iori.
Iori needs it more than you.
Like he gave up on trying to act scared he threatened me,
"You know you'll be a murderer, right?"
Pitiful.
You are pitiful, Izumi.
Stop bullshitting me. Do you need me to point it out for you?
"But you're immortal."
And Izumi's face as if to prove me right, gloomed with darkness.
I bet he never thought I'll figure it out.
How much of an idiot does he think I am?
I quickly raised the hammer and hit it on his neck.
As his neck crashing echoed in the room, I realized.
I… killed Izumi.
I… killed him… I did it…
W-Why?
Why did I use such a method?
If I had asked him, would he have given his blood to me?
He probably would have given it.
So, why … why did I do this…
Out of enjoyment?
Like a sick monster?
Killing people for the sake of my beloved ones?
I'm such an idiot.
I really became a monster now.
but then… a real monster appeared in front of me shaking every bone I have in my body with a creepy laugh matched with his hideous appearance.
ψ End of Chapter 10 ψ