POV: Hoga Yasahiro.
Date: 23rd Nov – Sunday.
"On that dark hazy night, they attacked the human kind with no second thought. They brought their terror and went in our lands and burnt what we treasured, ate those who were against them, and ruled over us with fear.
Kids were crying, women were screaming, and men were pleading for mercy.
But no one was able of changing this fate of theirs, the cruelty of the history that is yet to unfold needed a hero to save them all.
That's right, they needed him.
The one and only hero that is able of saving them, the true hero that can put their heart at ease, he is Fartsman! DU DU DU DU BUM PSSST" Izumi said wiping his tears as he was lying on the sofa in my living room flipping through a manga.
God, he is annoying. Why is he here in the first place? Plus, I'm already having trouble with him reading since I can hear it all, but he has to read it out loud too? And what's with that hero name? were they out of ideas? Who is the idiot that wrote that?
"Why are you here?" I asked glaring at Izumi who was making himself comfortable in my apartment.
"My stuff hasn't arrived yet, so I'm just spending time till they get here, it's fine isn't it?" he answered without even bothering to lift his eye from the manga he was reading.
No, it's not fine!
I moved to the kitchen and opened the fridge to start cooking lunch as I was starting to get hungry.
"Oh, that's great I was just getting hungry as well." Izumi said while looking at me with a smile on his face.
Izumi: 'I wonder what he'll cook this time. Steak? Pasta? Sashimi? Sukiyaki? Donburi? Yakitori? Okonomiyaki!? All this thinking is making me hungry.'
What is this? Suddenly, I feel like I have become a mother.
I quickly took cola out of the fridge and shut it.
Izumi: 'eh? He's not cooking?'
Yeah, not when you're around.
"Can you just not read your manga out loud?" I requested from Izumi on my way back to sit on the sofa.
"Why?" Izumi asked as he looked at me unable to understand what I meant.
Is he serious? Is he that idiotic? Do I have to explain it to him? But that's troublesome.
"I get it… I'm sorry, I should have got it. People who read thoughts have it tough huh." Izumi said as he flashed a smile of pity my way.
I'm glad he got it, but this turn of events seem very familiar like when we first met he totally misunderstood what I meant, I'll just peek inside to make sure he got the full picture.
Izumi: 'I didn't know he read Fartsman, of course he'll be mad if I spoil stuff for him before he read it himself. I bet he had so many mangas spoiled for him before, poor guy.'
Yup, I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
"Then since I have nothing to do, want to come with me to greet the neighbors?" Izumi asked as he closed the manga and put it on the table.
"No," I answered.
"Listen, I'll do all the talk since you are rude, but instead you read their thoughts and tell me what they think of me, got it?" Izumi said while dragging me outside.
Was my answer too hard to comprehend?
He stood in front of apartment 101 and froze in his place.
"Are you okay?" I asked wondering about his unusual action.
Izumi: 'Shit, I'm nervous, how should I start the conversation?
Hello, I'm the new neighbor, yeah that homeless guy you saw before hahaha nice to meet you.
No, that feels wrong somewhere. Should I start it with another thing instead?
SUP, I'm here to collect the loan you owe me. Haha just kidding I'm the new guy in the building sup!? No, I said sup two times that isn't suitable.'
What the hell is that? he was going how rude I will be if I do the talking but he is no better than me.
"Hey, should we stop this?" I suggested a minute too late as Izumi had already rung the bell.
Holy god, don't tell me he is planning on saying one of the two things he thought before?
Izumi: 'Hi, give me money or I'll frigging kill you! Yosh, I'll go with that.'
That's way worse than the previous two!
The door creaked open showing a boy with dyed blond hair who had a huge smile on his face seeing us.
"Hi, give me mon-" Izumi was about to talk but got interrupted by the boy's loud voice, "Izumi-san!"
Eh? He knows him?
Izumi: 'Damn kid, he ruined my introduction who in the frigging world is he?'
Seems like he knows Izumi one-sidedly.
Izumi glared at me and with a disappointed voice he said, "let's go try our luck in the next apartment, we failed."
Eh? You're going to leave like this without saying anything to him? Wait, are you still planning on using that threat as introduction again!?
The kid ran out from the apartment and held Izumi's shirt and said with excited tone, "it's me, Himura Shota! From high school don't you remember when we used to go and-"
Izumi pushed the kid back to his apartment and closed the door.
Dude, at least hear the poor thing out!
Then with a smile on his face, he rang the bell to apartment 102.
Izumi: 'This time! For sure!'
Oh, dear lord.
The door opened showing a girl who had her hair in a ponytail.
It's a girl! Will she cry if she heard that? Should I stop him after all?
I stared at Izumi to see him frozen stiff.
Izumi: 'Well, it can't be helped it's a girl.'
Izumi quietly pushed the door close while the girl seemed to resist, "eh? What? Why? Who?" but soon the door closed completely.
Somehow, I'm feeling sorry for all these people.
Izumi started moving to the next apartment 103.
Izumi: 'I have a good feeling about this one.'
Izumi rang the bell and waited, but even after few minutes have passed no one opened the door.
Great! Looks like they're out, I'll just tell him quick since he'll never notice it by himself.
"This is weird, are they out?" I wondered in a loud voice making sure Izumi is able to hear it, but rather than hearing it he started pressing the bell over and over again.
Stop … Stop… Why are you doing this… I can't handle this much stupidity in one day…
After 30 minutes he gave up and with a disappointed look on his face he returned to my apartment 105.
Izumi: 'These people never gave me the chance to introduce myself.'
I don't think that was the problem.
"So, did you hear any of their thoughts?" Izumi asked as he started taking his shoes off at the entrance.
I was busy with your stupidity to hear anything from them.
"No," I answered as I swiftly moved inside ignoring the disappointment on Izumi's face.
After an hour, the doorbell to my apartment rang which made Izumi jump to the entrance,
Izumi: 'Is the pizza here already?'
What?! We ordered pizza?!
I ran after Izumi to check who it was and were greeted by the same girl in ponytail.
"Oh, I didn't know you had a friend over, Hoga-san," the girl said as she saw Izumi open the door.
Izumi got stiff frozen which made the girl laugh and she introduced herself, "Nice to meet you, I'm Omura Hina I'm an aspiring model, seeing your reaction, you probably have seen me before in a magazine or something hehe."
Is that why he's frozen?!
Izumi: 'It wasn't the pizza.'
Nope, he has no idea who she is.
"Is something the matter? You came all the way here," I asked trying to prevent an awkward situation where Izumi would have to introduce himself back.
"Ah, I heard there was a new neighbor, but I didn't find them in their apartment, so I thought he might be here, so I brought cookies over, please eat them," she said pointing at the bag lying on the floor.
I got down to pick the bag up seeing how Izumi is still frozen, but suddenly the girl jumped back.
Eh?
"Ah, yeah bye!" the girl screamed as she ran away she fell on the ground few times before reaching her apartment as if she was being chased by a murderer.
What was that? Did she catch Izumi's stupidity?
"Hey, there is a suspicious person over there," Izumi said pointing at a guy wearing black hood and walking suspiciously around the apartment while looking sideways.
"Yeah, okay," I said as I tried to shut the door close, but Izumi pushed it back open and with a spark in his eyes he said, "let's go check it out!"
He ran toward the guy and kicked him in the stomach making him fall on the ground.
EEHHHHH!!?!!?!? Shouldn't you ask who he is before hitting him!?
"W-What a-a-are yy-y-you doing!?!?" the guy asked in a trembling voice.
"Quickly, call the police, Hoga!" Izumi yelled at me.
Hell no.
"Po-po…P-olice!?!" the guy said in his voice that continued to tremble.
I let out a sigh and I told Izumi, "you know, I just read this guy's thoughts and … you would probably regret doing that to him."
"Why would I!?" Izumi shrieked.
"He's the author of that toilet manga you were reading before," I said waiting for Izumi's reaction as his face turned red and he yelled, "TOILET MANGA!?!? You jerk did you just insult fartsman manga!? Just to let you know he is the superhero that will save the future of humanity!"
With what!? His farts!? Humanity is better without that.
Then Izumi let out a huge scream, "WAIT!! You mean this is the legendary mangaka of the mighty manga Watari Kida!?! What have I done!? I deserve death!" and then got on all four and begged forgiveness.
"I-It's fine you didn't know… and I was acting suspiciously… just don't tell anyone I live here," the guy said in a voice that is still shaky.
"YOU LIVE HERE!?!?" Izumi screamed unable to hide his happiness he started tearing up and said with excited tone, "sensei! Can you please give me an autograph!?"
"I'm sorry, I can't," the man said before rushing upstairs and slamming the door of apartment 103 close.
Izumi was crying his eyes out downstairs mumbling, "thank you god, I am blessed, I am truly blessed."
So ridiculous. To think Izumi's idiocy isn't enough I had to see the one who made that dumb manga as well. Today is just not my day. Why is our apartment building full of weirdoes!?
UNKNOWN: 'So many people I can kill here kukukukuku.'
Eh? What was that thought? It came from downstairs… who was it?
Izumi started heading upstairs and with tears flowing from his eyes.
"How unusual from the expressionless Hoga, why do you have a scary look on your face?" Izumi said between his sniffs.
Was it my imagination?
UNKNOWN: 'He's still alive!?'
As I thought it was definitely coming from Izumi … Could it be?
I grabbed Izumi's shoulder and asked,
"Hey, do you, by any chance, have multi-personalities?"