Leng Jin Yu stared at the blood oozing out from the wound. The bright red seemed even more shocking on his snowy-white skin. Had he really just bitten him? He gulped and shook his head. That wasn't important now! He first had to help Jinde take care of the wound!
He fumbled around and found the fabric Jinde had just used to care for his wound. He washed the blood out and pressed it onto Jinde's shoulder to stop the flow of blood first.
Jinde's eyes flew open at the cold sensation and he lowered his head to take a look at what Leng Jin Yu was doing. Seeing the wet fabric on his shoulder confused him. He blinked and combed through Leng Jin Yu's black hair to get his attention. It didn't work too well though.
Feeling Jinde move Leng Jin Yu froze. Ah, what was he supposed to say now? How could he explain this? "I …" He looked up at him and meeting his golden gaze he felt even more unsure of how to proceed.
"Jin Yu?" Jinde inched closer. They had been so close to the good part! He would be damned if he let him stop now! He tried to put his head on Leng Jin Yu's shoulder but that seemed to be another wrong move.
Seeing Jinde lean against him in a supposedly weak manner Leng Jin Yu's bad conscience grew worse. "I'm sorry!" He hugged him and clenched his fists, cursing himself inside. How could he have done something like that?!
He dabbed at the wound with the wet fabric and then searched for the vial Jinde had given him. If it could heal the wounds the dragon king had given him in two days, then this wound should be able to heal soon enough. He finally found the vial somewhere between their clothes. His fingers stilled when they touched the cold surface and he stared at the heap of fabric around his hips. This … They were still …
He looked up and was faced with the sight of Jinde's snowy skin and two dots of pink still half-hidden in the robe he had pulled down half-way. Leng Jin Yu gulped. Right. How could he have bitten his shoulder if he didn't take his robe off first? "I'm sorry," he said once more, his voice already only a whisper. He honestly didn't know where he took the courage to say something like that from. He had imagined something like that and then descended on him like a mad beast. How could a simple apology suffice?
Jinde observed the changes in Leng Jin Yu's face and his lips thinned. He had thought they were on the right way but now his lover looked ashamed as if he regretted what he had done. He reached out and gently grabbed Leng Jin Yu's chin. "What are you apologizing for? You did nothing wrong."
"I …" Leng Jin Yu looked into those eyes that seemed to say there wasn't anything he could do wrong and he felt even worse. He hurriedly put Jinde down next to him and knelt down on the floor, his forehead heavily touching the ground. "I'm sorry! You trusted me and even cared for me when I was hurt and I tried to force you, even injuring you in the process. I really deserve death for this!" He gritted his teeth, not daring to look up at Jinde. He really deserved death. Just how could he have done that? He couldn't understand himself anymore!
Jinde looked at the person kneeling in front of him and a self-deprecating smile tugged at his lips. It seemed he wasn't as seductive as he thought. Or, well, even if he was, he obviously wasn't interesting enough to do more than this. Well, at least Leng Jin Yu properly knelt down to apologize. Thinking of Chun Yin's way of doing things …
'I'm sorry. It's my fault. I was too hasty. I shouldn't have … I'm afraid I can't keep my promise. Not now, at least. Later. When the child —' The thoughts Chun Yin had said back then echoed in his mind.
Jinde clenched his fists just from remembering it. How dare he talk to him about that child? How could he even mention it in front of him?! He took a deep breath to get his emotions back under control. It was long past. This wasn't Chun Yin anymore but Leng Jin Yu instead. And all he was doing was apologizing for the way he treated him. He shouldn't overthink this. He shouldn't … shouldn't …
Jinde closed his eyes. "It's alright. Just … Just leave me alone for a while."
Leng Jin Yu looked up. Maybe he imagined it but Jinde looked even paler than before. "I …" He reached out but finally refrained from touching him. Hadn't he done enough? He was certainly the last person that should try to console him. Ah, but then who would? Hadn't he been alone before? Leng Jin Yu got up but still hesitated.
Jinde cracked his eyes open. Seeing him still stand there he couldn't help but lift his gaze further. Leng Jin Yu still hadn't pulled up his robe, exposing his torso up until his waist where he was barely holding the fabric together.
Maybe he should just abandon all pretenses? Maybe he should just get up, pull his robe down and him into bed? But who knew if that wouldn't just get him laid one time again? That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted his lover to stay with him this time. He didn't want to be left alone again while having to watch his lover be happy with somebody else. He didn't want to be … an adventure for just one night again.
Leng Jin Yu's hands trembled. Did he imagine it? Jinde's eyes seemed as if they were slightly reddened. So he had hurt him that much. Well, it was no wonder. Jinde had had high hopes for this. He had wished for someone to spend his time with but that person had turned out untrustworthy. Who wouldn't feel like that? And it wasn't just any betrayal. It was one of the worst kind.
Leng Jin Yu hung his head. "I'm sorry!" He repeated it once more before hurrying away. He almost collided with the door on his way out and shook his head. Ah, he was too confused! He had actually thought they had left it open. Whatever. He opened it and stepped out only to freeze right away.
Someone leaned against the opposite wall and his gaze right now screamed bloody murder.