Leng Jin Yu stared at him, his gaze wavering. What was he supposed to do now? He had to talk to this person but never mind that the other already hated him, he wasn't in a presentable state either. "Senior Xin …"
It would have been better had he not said anything. Xin Lan already had had trouble keeping his emotions in check. When the person he wanted to rip apart actually dared to speak to him, the thin thread of rationality he had still held onto finally snapped. His nails turned into claws and he went right for Leng Jin Yu's face.
Leng Jin Yu wanted to dodge but he had already had trouble contending with an enraged Qiu Ling. Evading Xin Lan … The wind generated by the hit reached him and he could only tense his muscles. Well, he certainly deserved this hit.
"Xin Lan!" The voice behind him had a certain urgency to it. "I just patched him up."
Xin Lan halted, his claws only a hair's breadth away from Leng Jin Yu's face. He gnashed his teeth and finally grabbed him by the shoulder, pushing him out of the way. "You better leave now!" He stepped into the room, his chest undulating with heavy breaths, and slammed the door shut.
Leng Jin Yu stared at the tightly closed door and felt at a loss. Just what was happening? He didn't understand anymore. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and really left. He had no place staying here. He had already done too much.
Inside the room, Xin Lan forced himself to calm down before walking over to Jinde's side. He knelt down at his feet and took out another robe. "Let me help you change."
Jinde didn't say anything. He just looked at Xin Lan's taut expression. This person was also very important to him. It probably wasn't wrong to say that he was his most important person after Chun Yin. It was a pity that the two had never seen eye-to-eye.
"Master …" Xin Lan finally couldn't take the silence any longer. "I'm sorry. I just … He hurt you. I guess I wanted to get back at him."
"It merely stings a bit." Jinde touched the injury on his shoulder. He could hardly believe that this would be the only thing that remained of his time with Leng Jin Yu today. It certainly wasn't what he had expected.
Xin Lan looked at Jinde's movement and his gaze darkened. "That's not what I was talking about."
Jinde sighed but didn't answer. He only pulled the white robe up to his shoulders again.
Xin Lan frowned. "It ripped. Why not —"
"I don't want to. This is … He clearly liked seeing me in this. I won't change the robe."
Xin Lan frowned even more. "It's already like this. You should —"
"Don't tell me what to do!" Jinde leaped to his feet, his whole body trembling. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to face it.
Xin Lan also rose to his feet. He pulled Jinde into his arms and held him, trying to stop the shivering. It only seemed to get worse though.
"Xin Lan, just … just what am I doing wrong? Am I not beautiful enough? Not gentle enough? Is it my age or my hair or … What is it? Why doesn't he like me? Why can't he decide on me? He clearly wanted to take me just now! Why did he suddenly stop and even apologized for it?!" He gripped Xin Lan's robe, his fingers crumpling the fabric. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong …" His eyes finally welled up and tears dripped down.
Xin Lan hugged him even tighter. "It's not your fault. It's …" It's his fault. He thought so but he naturally couldn't say that. It would just anger his master and he would once again defend this man. He was just that much in love. "The situation isn't ideal. He isn't a dragon right now. He doesn't think like us. He probably thought he had done something wrong when he made a move on you."
Jinde looked up, his eyes completely red and his cheeks wet with tears. Xin Lan's heart squeezed together. He wanted to console him but he knew he wasn't the right person for that. The only one who could ease his master's pain was that man.
"Why … Why did he do it in the first place then? He seemed …" He took a shaky breath and tried to remember how Leng Jin Yu had looked at him. A small smile lit up his features. "He seemed to hunger for me. It was … so intense. I was sure he wanted to do it."
"Maybe he does. Maybe … he still feels some connection with you from his previous life. You are carrying part of Chun Yin's soul, after all. It wouldn't be unthinkable. It's probably just that the human way of doing things interfered with what he wanted. So he thought …"
Jinde nodded and wiped his tears away. "I'm feeling pathetic right now."
Xin Lan just looked at him. It didn't surprise him at all. His master had been rejected by that man once already when he thought they finally had a future together. Now, after they had been separated for a long time, he saw another chance for them only to be shut out again the moment it seemed to come true. Who wouldn't feel cheated? "If you feel bad, then …" He tightened his grip and leaned down a little, taking in Jinde's smell in the process. His eyes shut on their own. Ah, how much he wished he could give Jinde what he desired. If only … "It's a pity dragons can only fall in love once. You could have found somebody better."
Jinde laughed. "There isn't a better person than him."
"Of course not. He's perfect all around."
"Mn."
Xin Lan continued to hold him, silently cursing the bastard who had done this to the dragon race. In another era, this person could have been his. Now, he could only watch him being hurt by another man. Again. He sighed and gently rubbed Jinde's back. "Do you feel better now?"
"Mn. Thank you. If not for you …"
Xin Lan shook his head. "My life is yours." So whatever it was his master needed he would make sure that he got it. Even if it was the love of another man.