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Southern Humor

Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

21 century Wall Street financial analyst Victoria Clarke travels to the American South in 1861 in a car accident and becomes the infamous widow Eleanor Van der Lyn-a serpentine woman recorded in history as having been “hanged by the neck on the eve of the inauguration of Abraham Lincoln for treason”. Lincoln on the eve of his inauguration for treason”. She looks in the mirror at her original character's flaming lips and waist, and sneers, “A villain? No, I'll make both the North and South kneel and tremble under my skirt!” Clutching the mysterious diary left behind by the original owner in her left hand (which records the dirty dealings between the Southern aristocrats and the Northern politicians), and carrying the three mysterious “adopted sons” in her right hand (which are actually the artificial war machines in the Southern secret laboratories), Eleanor kicked away Alexander Hawthorne, the plantation owner who tries to control her by marriage, and threw the champagne into her hand, and then kicked her out of the room. Hawthorne, who pours champagne on a slave-state legislator's marriage agreement: “I have only two rules for parenting: teach my children to level slave estates with dynamite, and teach them to turn Northern generals with love letters.” --When the New York Times ridiculed her as a “slut stirring up the war through nepotism,” she took her adopted children to burn cotton fields live and force Lincoln to sign the Early Emancipation Proclamation; when Northern spies kidnapped her children, she backhandedly exposed the gold smuggling chain between General Grant and the Bank of the South, which was featured in the Washington Post. When Northern spies kidnapped her children, she backhandedly exposed the gold smuggling chain between General Grant and the Bank of the South, making headlines in the Washington Post: “Thanks to the arms sent by the enemy, I am now the first female arms dealer and interim Secretary of State of the United States of America.
Cyrusngoo · 11.4K Views

Reformation: Southern Knight

In a world where magic thrives and mythical beasts lurk in the shadows, Tohgi Akura is born into the unforgiving southern district of Vandekar—a lawless land ruled by bandits and plagued by poverty. Despite his humble beginnings, Tohgi harbours an audacious dream: to achieve recognition not for himself but for the overlooked and downtrodden people of his homeland. To realize this dream, he must become a Knight, a title synonymous with honour, power, and nobility. Tohgi’s raw talent rivals the elite, but his lack of noble heritage leaves him scorned by the privileged. Yet, his unwavering determination and resilience catch the attention of influential figures who see potential in the unrefined boy. With their guidance, Tohgi rises through the ranks, challenging a society built to keep people like him in the dirt. However, ambition has its price. As Tohgi carves his path toward greatness, his defiance of the status quo ignites conflicts that spiral into devastating wars. In his quest to protect those he loves and uphold his ideals, Tohgi must grapple with the weight of his choices and the sacrifices demanded by his legacy. The Journey of Tohgi Akura: 1. The Knight’s Path. 2. A Knight’s Dilemma. 3. Terrorist’s Mirror. 4. The Dark Truth. 5. National War. 6. Rise of the South. 7. The World Engulfed. Tohgi’s brilliance and strength make him a natural leader, but his journey is defined by contradiction. His moral ambiguity, reliance on intellect, and tendency to isolate himself complicate his path. Beneath his unyielding exterior lies a man burdened by the pain of his people and the weight of his choices. As he battles societal rejection and his inner demons, Tohgi’s story asks: Will he be remembered as a hero… a tyrant… or… just another man? Tohgi’s Odyssey is a tale of ambition, loyalty, and the unrelenting cost of dreams—a story of a boy’s rise from the shadows of poverty to the heights of power, and the tumultuous legacy he leaves behind. Do not hesitate to comment your thoughts at any point in the story, it would bring me great joy to be able to interact with readers of my work. I hope to see you on the other side. PS: Bold text indicates the use of magic, parenthesis () indicates thought. Thank you! Enjoy! :)
Tedag_Pen · 29K Views
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