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Macbeth

The Haggis King (A modernized Riff of Shakespeare’s MacBeth)

A modern twist on the classic MacBeth, this three act play covers the series of unfortunate events that follow MacBob after he talked to three shady hippies about zodiacs and tarot cards at the Moor bar. Act I MacBob, assistant manager of Haggis Inc., is at the Moor bar and he is loaded. He ends up at the back table where three hippies are reading each other’s palms. They ask him his sign (Pisces) and tell him that he will be Executive, and later CEO of, Haggis Inc. He just has to avoid the “man of no haggis born” or some nonsense like that and he has to make sure he avoids snow trees(?) and he’ll be solid. MacBob thinks they’re weird but he’s stoked to hear about his future promotions. He calls his wife and tells her all about it, still drunk. His wife is hella mad that he’s calling her while drunk but she listens anyway because she’s tolerant. She yells at him to get home immediately and sleep it off. He does. A few days later, news arrives that the existing Executive was just fired for having an affair with her secretary and MacBob has to take over the job till they find someone else. His wife realizes that his drunken blubbering was legit and gets a twisted idea. Convince the CEO of the company to just give MacBob the exec job and get someone else to replace the Assistant Manager job, then get rid of the CEO. The plan works and MacBob is the Executive of Haggis Inc. He goes to the Moor bar to celebrate with his buddy. He gets really drunk and sees those hippies again. He wobbles over to tell them the good news and they’re just like, “wild, man. Wild. Look out for the man born of no haggis, amigo. Look out for paper cuts too.” He’s still euphoric about the promotion and hollers “I’m gonna be be King of Haggis!” His buddy tells him to cool it. He goes home and sleeps it off. Act II In the first week, MacBob has been doing stellar at his new job. He just got a contract that will raise Haggis Inc. chains all over Scotland. He gets a raise and the CEO suggests that a party is in order. MacBob accepts and phones wifey the good news. She’s been plotting how to get rid of the CEO and thinks the party is the perfect opportunity to do so and suggests it be held at their house. MacBob is still hung up on the King of Haggis idea that he gets paranoid. After he finds out a colleague is vegetarian, he thinks that’s the guy not born of haggis and fires him on the spot without telling anyone. He gets a major guilt trip afterwards. At the party, everyone’s drinking and having a great time. MacBob hallucinates he’s seeing the guy he fired and is yelling at air. He writes the guests out. Wife interrupts, says he’s just drunk again and everyone goes to bed. The wife wants MacBob to lace the CEO’s nightcap with a vinegar concoction to make him so sick he goes to the hospital. MacBob is chicken so she does it. The CEO dies from tripping over his hospital gown and landing on his head. MacBob gets the CEO job. Act III MacBob is CEO and is NOT prepared for for all the responsibilities. The Haggis Chain contract falls through along with all the partnerships. MacBob is stricken. His wife goes bonkers from the thought of losing what she cheated so hard for and gets committed. MacBob goes to the hippies for help and they turn him away. They don’t palm read anymore. They’re into poetry now. MacBob goes back to his fancy office and is considering ending it all. Lawyers walk in with bankruptcy papers to be signed. He gets a paper cut while signing and gets the shock of his life when he sees who just gave him the papers. It’s the vegetarian he fired. It turns out he had the degrees to became a bankruptcy lawyer after getting fired. Our tale ends as MacBob goes to the Burger King drive-through and when asked what he’d like to order, he says “Haggis.” He gets a paper BK crown with his haggis-shaped burger.
JaKL2299 · 6.1K Views

The Chronicles of a wonded healer

This fictional novel is about a story of a boy, who went on a journey to become a man, according to the African tradition of the Namaqualand Nation, but still remained like a boy as he did not show growth physically from his looks like a Peter Payne, even as having a tender heart-as he searched for a father, and met wolves and lions, who recognized he was a gifted child, and went envious of him, betrayed him, even went as far as to bewitch him. The child was a gift from heaven, a light worker, who felt victim to circumstances which were part of his journey, as he dealt with sexuality issues, pride and all his own shortcomings that made him human. He follows prophecies about him echoed as a child, of enigma and glory to be revealed through him like Macbeth and the Oracles, and for this reason his persecutions counteracted what was given to him. The Namaqualand nation had become so brainwashed since the arrival of the Dutch land invasion of Jan Van Riebeeck in 1652, even as the prophet Nsikana have forewarned of the arrival of the Annuanaki Alines beyond the sea of Atlantis, and with them bringing a button without holes, and a black book covered in red on the side, which was the bible, and told them to take the book but not the button-which presented money, but the Namaqualand nation fell for the coin, and he prophesied to a woman who carried a bowl with water to pour it on the ground, as she did, he requested her to pick up the water again from the ground back to the bowl, inwhich the King Hansa at the receiving of this message, rebuked the prophet, as this was an impossible thing to do, so the prophet said ‘’Like this water, shall the nation be scattered and never again be brought back to its original glory’’. The bible itself was the opium of the masses, and with this did the Annunaki's use to control the mind of the oppressed, as they un-taught and re- taught the nation to prepare them to be slaves to the new system. A system that would bleed the Namaqualand, and paint their culture as barbaric and their African religions as demonic, and placing the Annuanaki as ‘’demigods’’, whilst Namaqua people were slaves at the bottom of the pyramid, without a soul and spirit, and had turned from their own ancestors who beckoned to them in dreams to come to them for healing, but could not, because the distance between them and who they were, was now a shadow and an echo in corridors of time. This story focus on the ancestral call of this boy, who started from church and hailed as a prophet, as his angel guided him with inspirations and mysteries which dazzled and wowed his audience everywhere he would go, but later ousted every time like a Lucifer from each Christian circles due to his great gifts and authoritative power for a child his age. He goes through a trauma of sickness, dis-ease, rejection, shame, and poverty, but he remained rich-rich with the richness of life as he wrote books, counseling and inspiring the young, singing songs of soul and spirituality. He reveals the brokenness of fatherhood and the distortion of African families who placed modern lifestyle above culture and heritage. In the spirit of Credo Muthwa the boy moves on with tales-“as he steals fire from the god’s’’, In the impeccable wisdom of Zen philosophy-from its expression of the watcher and the watched, a theory also greatly preached by J. Krinamartu and George Guardjief- so he brings us this fictional novel of a calling which rises in a time of Covid 19, and he becomes a rising star from the many of the ‘Sons of Ye’shua’ that are also called like him at that time- back to their ancestral roots, and that becomes a fulfillment of one of his prophecies.
Iman_Questa · 2.8K Views
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