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Ben Elton

Everytime I Beat my Meat, I level Up

In a future where all pornography is banned and self-pleasure is a crime, one young man must master the ancient, forbidden martial art of Gooning to avenge his father… one stroke at a time. Ben Dover never asked for this life. He was just a kid trying to survive in a repressed society ruled by the iron grip of the Purity Act—a global initiative that erased all erotic media and punished pleasure with prison or death. But when his father, a secret archivist of lost smut, is murdered by the shadowy martial sect known as the High Goon Council, Ben discovers a hidden world beneath society’s squeaky-clean surface. A world of underground tape traders, cultivators of carnal energy, and monks who edge for enlightenment. With the help of his disgraced grandfather—a retired Gooner master—Ben begins training in the ancient art of shame-fueled martial arts, where power is built through discipline, edging, and denial. But during a high-risk meditative ritual, Ben unlocks the mythical Infinite Edging Technique, granting him the ability to hold back for eternity... and double his power with every moment of restraint. Now, with a roll of tissues in one hand and vengeance in his heart, Ben must rise through the ranks of the Gooner Cultivation World, face off against chastity zealots and lust-obsessed warlords, and uncover the secrets of his father’s death—before the final climax of war erupts across the world. This is not a parody. This is not a joke. This is Gooning. Taken seriously.
DarkSephium · 5.1K Views

Reincarnated As A Mosquito

Get ready to swat away tears of laughter and brace yourself for the most buzzworthy adventure of the century! Meet Ben Franklin, the world's foremost expert in attracting bad luck and the unlikeliest hero you'll ever encounter. From stumbling over his own shoelaces to triggering fire alarms with a single glance, Ben's life is a never-ending comedy of errors. And if you thought his luck would change in the afterlife, think again! Even the god of opportunity couldn't resist the magnetic pull of Ben's bad luck charms. Just as Ben was about to embark on a new adventure in the great beyond, fate took a hilarious twist. A glitch in the universe turned him into a mutant mosquito, reincarnated along with the very reincarnation system itself! Now that's what you call a bug in the matrix! The absence of a reincarnation system in the universe has resulted in a cosmic crisis. With dead souls wandering aimlessly and lifeless babies popping out like deflated balloons, it's up to our unlikely hero to solve the mystery and save the day! Now armed with six legs, buzzing wings, and an insatiable thirst for adventure (and, let's not forget, blood), the legend of Ben Franklin, the most unlikely hero in the insect kingdom, began. With his quirky sense of humour and insatiable thirst for justice, he embarked on a hilarious and unconventional quest to save the universe, leaving behind a trail of itchy mosquito bites and bacterial infections in his wake.
Xero_5825 · 1.1M Views
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