The Adventures of Daring Dante and Pickle Peter: A Bullshit Novel
In a world governed by glowing portals, procedurally generated dungeons, and a System that tracks everything from combat stats to embarrassing titles, Dante Steelblade a brave but brainless teen with dreams of glory charges headfirst into destiny armed with little more than a splintered broomstick and wildly misplaced confidence.
By his side is Pickle Peter, his fabulous, magically-inclined best friend who fights in enchanted unicorn apparel, casts weaponized glitter spells, and just wants to survive long enough to find a boyfriend and upgrade his wardrobe. Together, this unlikely duo dives into the Dungeon of Distant Moaning, hoping to prove their worth, get rich, and avoid dying in horribly stupid ways.
Between glitter-fueled boss fights, cursed footwear, undead fashionistas, and a System that seems more sarcastic than helpful, Dante and Peter will level up, screw up, and stumble into danger over and over again—all while redefining what it means to be heroes in a world that’s about 60% magic, 20% loot, and 100% bullshit.