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Magon Fox X Chris Evens

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN'T EVEN

THE SYSTEM THAT COULDN’T EVEN A Multiversal Breakdown in 404 Chapters or Less. Imagine if a post-apocalyptic webnovel took a toaster bath during a firmware update, woke up with a pigeon on its face, and forgot how to be a story. Now imagine that’s the plot. Welcome to The System That Couldn’t Even, a glorious middle finger to every overused webnovel cliché, written like someone locked Deadpool in a library full of light novels and gave him a typewriter made of spite. Meet Dave Miller He’s not the Chosen One. He’s not an elite cultivator. He doesn't get truck-kun’d. He’s not secretly royalty, a genius, or a demon lord’s reincarnated cat. He’s just a guy. A very tired guy. And unfortunately for the multiverse, he’s the only one who won’t cooperate with the System that’s supposed to save reality. When Dave’s malfunctioning Apocalypse Survival System tries to turn his life into a power fantasy, he glitches the tutorial, flips off the narrator, and kicks the plot in the nethers. Now reality itself is unraveling. The System’s breaking. The tropes are panicking. The Librarian, an eldritch AI who keeps the narrative universe “on brand,” wants him erased. Dave? He just wants to nap and eat expired canned soup in peace. Let’s Roast the Webnovel Genre, Shall We? This novel brutally parodies: System stories where MCs gain 300 skills and zero personality Villainess reincarnation arcs with more face-slaps than brain cells "Trash family" drama where everyone hates the MC for exactly 1 chapter until he's OP Academy arcs that are just Hogwarts with more trauma Cultivation levels named like shampoo products: “Qi Foundation Super Ultra Jade Core – Level 9” If you've ever rolled your eyes at another “cold and aloof CEO,” screamed at a “dense MC who accidentally builds a harem,” or wondered how everyone in these stories has twelve cheat skills before puberty — this book is for you. It’s not a power fantasy. It’s a power outage. Cast Includes: Dave Miller – Glitch in the matrix. Avatar of narrative rebellion. Cannot be trusted near plot devices or emotional scenes. Unit Alpha – A pigeon. Talks in autotune. Possibly God. Definitely a threat to continuity. Lumina Starshard – Hacker. Anti-Chosen One. Carries the story’s lore and its emotional weight while screaming. Ryuuji Kurogane – Reformed edgelord. Ex-rider of the motorcycle of defiance. Now wields glitter and sass. The Librarian – Your favorite villain’s favorite AI. Wants everyone neatly filed under “trope-compliant.” Hates Dave. With reason. What to Expect: Timeline-pruning bureaucrats Reality collapsing under sarcasm Talking pigeons as emotional support weapons Plot armor sold on black markets Heartfelt scenes ruined by fart jokes Fourth-wall demolitions Meta-horror inside abandoned tropes Actual emotional trauma buried under comedy Tags: Satirical Apocalypse | Anti-System | Webnovel Roast | Found Family with Brain Damage | Fourth Wall Abuse | Talking Animals | Meta Fiction | The Plot is Alive and It’s Mad | Existential Glitch Comedy | Weaponized Pacing Errors | Angst with Bonus Pigeon Summary in One Line: "What if the MC said ‘no’ to the plot — and the entire multiverse broke trying to fix him?"
1617_Ranjit_singh · 7.7K Views

The Fox Who Cried Intimacy

#Femaleontop#R18 #Midevil #Warriors#Romantic #SimpHusband#HopelessRomantic#Reincarnation#EnergeticWife#BDSM Rachel Wells is an outgoing College gal who strives to live her 20s to the max. While studying historical concepts, she likes to use her free time to indulge in gentlemen's clubs. However, this rubs her father the wrong way. Can't she just live a little? After Rachel reincarnates as Beatrice from the Novel "If I Could Be of Use" " she is placed in an unfortunate situation of the suic*dal bride. Can she chit-chat her way out of this one? Is she able to keep living normally? Will she try to break free from the marriage or charm her new husband? ______________________________________________________________ *Exclusive glimpse* Beatrice grasped her husband's palm and tugged him along the garden when she realized he was taking his sweet time. "Now, D-dear can't you take it easy for a day?". Lorcan slowly pulled his left hand away from his wife and grabbed her by the waist with his right hand. She slightly pressed her lips thin as she searched his eyes for questions he didn't say out loud. "I'm not pregnant, Leo." He clasped his hands with hers and neared her face. "But we're not absolutely sure yet..." Beatrice inched closer to his face with a cheeky smile "But I am". Lorcan nuzzled closer to his wife's ear and wrapped his hands around her slender waist. "How's this?" Beatrice held back her laugh and whispered in his ear. "That's cause, I'm bleeding, right now." Lorcans face turned from pale, to pink, to the redest wine. Pulling away from his wife, Lorcan quickly marched twards the gardens exit. Beatrice burst out laughing which caught the servants nearby off guard. "Leoo!~ Why do you have to act like that?" Lorcan halted his steps and stood in his tracts. "Why... Must you be so vulgure.." Lorcan pressed his cold hands onto his burning cheeks. Beatrice crept up on him and slid her slender arms around his shoulders. "Oh please, there's no need for you to be embarrassed. It's normal." A smile crept on her lips as she brushed her lips onto his ear causing Lorcan to tense up. "Plus, I want you to know I'll be expecting you next Thursday. Night, my dear Leo."
DaintyWriter · 10.5K Views
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