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Andy Samberg Jorma Taccone Slash

Utopian System

"Mana to breathe, mana to eat, mana to fucking live," Inhale: -0.001 MP… oops! You're out of mana points. (Pay-to-breathe RPG.) Humanity's last walled stronghold. _____ In the world Elio lives, every gasp of air comes at a price. A floating indestructible book for every human, a magical system that turns survival into a pay-to-breathe RPG. Here, poverty isn't just being broke, it's choking. Surrounded by barren land and a sea of monsters on top of it (No water, just literal monsters), each day is a suffocating dance of survival, a balancing act between mana for air and mana for food. In this economy, holding your breath isn't just a game, it's a retirement plan. Driven by desperation (and the city's miserly rulers that don’t cut anyone a break), Elio dives into the Book System’s trials to save his family. Along the way, he unlocks powers he didn’t ask for and starts to figure out... Who he really is. Immerse yourself in an adventure where one young man's stubborn refusal to become a statistic could spark a revolution. Who knew being a pain in the system's rear could change the world? Because in Elio's world, breathing is just the beginning of the revolution and... he's gasping for change. But hey, who said saving the world had to be all doom and gloom? Join Elio as he kicks monster butt, uncovers ancient secrets, and maybe, just maybe, figures out how to grow a tree or two along the way. __________ Warning: May contain traces of world domination, an unhealthy obsession with the periodic table, damage points, progression math, and yes, even a sprinkle of that old "power of friendship" magic. Because sometimes, you need a buddy to help you remember which element does what or even help you calculate those sweet, sweet stats. A quick heads-up: Despite what the cover might suggest, this isn’t a hack-and-slash adventure. Think more along the lines of a turn-based RPG, where strategy and choices matter as much as action. Get ready for a different kind of challenge! If you want to know more about the cover: Yep, that's our first FL crying and crossing the transparent barrier straight into a pixelated, indistinguishable sea of monsters. Because why not mix emotions with chaos? She's crazy like that! (Not really... or is she?) Discord to check the visuals: https://discord.gg/W3CjfC2cw4 I’m still working on it in the little moments I find between writing, editing, making more character images, etc. Little by little, we’ll have a Poked... uh, a full SummonDex! Meanwhile, you can check out the ones on Fandom with their... funny descriptions? Or at least I hope so... orz __________ Last Month of easy Win-Win Challenge! (11/2024) Warning: Critical Win-Win Quest Alert! "Last month's Win-Win raid: 400/1000 party members showed up. Not bad, but hey, who wants to settle for 'not bad' when we could go for 'absolutely freaking awesome'?" Here's what you'll get if you help us reach these goals: FINAL MONTH WIN-WIN QUEST REWARDS: Main Quest Completion (1000/1000 privilege chapters): Drop rate of 10 extra chapters from my secret stash! (End of month loot box, if you will) Legendary Castle gift: +5 chapters per drop (Max stack: 10 chapters. Sorry, can't break the game balance TOO much!) Power Stone Achievement [500 weekly]: Unlocks weekly bonus content (+1 chapter/week buff) Golden Ticket Milestone [1000]: Critical success! +5 chapter mega drop Because sometimes you need a party to help you grind those sweet, sweet chapter rewards. And hey, who said supporting your favorite stories had to be all serious business? Thank you so much for all your support so far! Thanks for not letting this story become just another "Game Over" screen! Let's make this last Win-Win month worth writing about! No elephants or whales were harmed in the making of this reward system... unless they really, REALLY wanted to help!
Dagzo · 440.3K Views

LEVEL EVERYTHING UP in my Eldritch Tribe

What if a power to level up or upgrade everything—your way of living, battle skills, military prowess, etc.—but this power is limited to your Eldritch tribe. Would you expand your tribe to rise above all adversaries, would you use it to gain more personal power or use it to toy with everyone? Lyerin wanted nothing more than peace on himself, but all he had was regret. He possessed a secret ability that allowed him to quickly excel at anything he chose, but he could only use it once. While others had to spend a long time to reach higher levels or master new skills, he only needed to complete a simple, specific task to level up. However, he had already used this ability to count a specific number of sand grains to save his own life. After that, his existence became a living hell. One day, he was unexpectedly sent back in time, where he would witness numbers appearing in the sky, signaling the end of the world again—an apocalypse he despised the most! But Lyerin realized he could use his ability once more, this time on a certain group of people. A TRIBE! ``` [ Ding! ] [ You have chosen to level up knife slash! As a Wildling of your tribe, you can level up your knife slash. ] [ Condition: Slash the knife 500 times. ] [ You have chosen a random tree to level up! The tree is part of your tribe; you can level it up. ] [ Condition: Water the tree 300 times. ] [ You cannot level up anymore due to your limited rank within the tribe. Raise your rank in the clan first. ] [ Condition: Give honor to the tribe. ] [ You have reached the peak level of your tribe. If you want to level up further, improve and level up your clan! ] [ Condition: Level up the Ancestral Healing Ritual, level up the Newborn Den, and level up the tribe's farm. ] ``` With this overpowered ability, can he still hold onto his selfish wish for peace within himself? Warnings: 1. Cold, Calculated and Cunning MC. 2. After 100+ chapters will be bloody.
Notorious_911 · 891.1K Views

Royal Secret: I'm a Princess!

After living as a famous Korean vlogger-slash-mukbanger, Neoma died a (shameful) death and regressed to her tragic first life--- the life where she has to live as a hidden princess with a tyrannical father and a yandere twin brother. She died at the hands of her psycho brother in her first life. But luckily, she charmed her "big brother" this time. Her father remains a sc*mbag, though. But a blessing in disguise happened when her twin brother got "sick." Because of that, she has to pretend as the "Crown Prince," forcing her father to treat her well. She thought she was finally on the road to becoming a lady of leisure. But, despite her laziness, she still ends up completing royal duties that put her closer to the throne than her sick twin brother. The next thing she knew, they already prophesied her to be the first empress of their very patriarchal empire. Now Neoma finds herself in the middle of the succession war she never wanted to be involved in! *** [EXCERPT 1] “Neoma de Moonasterio, the first princess of Moonasterion Empire. From now on, you’ll live as Prince Nero’s proxy.” [The hell is this psycho saying?] Neoma, despite her confusion, still smiled at her father--- the emperor. “Father, what do you mean by that?” “From now on, assassins sent by my enemies would target Nero,” the emperor explained. “Until he’s strong enough to protect himself, you’ll pose as your twin brother.” Her smile froze, but she still acted innocent. “But Father. If I take my brother’s position, then wouldn’t the assassins mistake me for him and…” She stopped talking when she realized that was exactly what the emperor wanted her to do. [This sc*mbag wants me to be bait?!] “You’re no longer a princess, Neoma de Moonasterio. From now on, you’ll live as Prince Nero de Moonasterio,” Emperor Nikolai said coldly while looking down at her with glowing red eyes. “Try to survive until your twin brother comes back to take his rightful place, understood?” Neoma was too shocked to react. [Are you f*cking kidding me, you sc*mbag?!] *** [ORIGINAL BOOK COVER. Artwork by sola_cola.] *** [EXCERPT 2] “I’m so sick of your tyrannical a*s,” Neoma yelled at her father aka the emperor. “I won’t forgive you for hurting Lewis and Tteokbokki!” “What will you do about it then?” Nikolai asked with a smirk. “Kill me?” “Yes! I’ll f*cking kill you, sc*mbag!” “Language,” he warned her, upset that his five-year-old daughter curses like a sailor. “Using vulgar words is unbecoming of the future Crown Prince.” “I’m a princess!” Upon yelling those words, the royal princess’s eye color changed from ash-gray to red. [This is getting serious.] “Stop it, Nero,” Nikolai told her sternly. “If you keep that up, the royal knights will come and–” “I’m not Nero!” Neoma screeched angrily. Then she jumped in the air with her left fist, ready to punch him. “In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you!” [What…?] And Princess Neoma, pretending as the Crown Prince for her sick twin brother, punched Emperor Nikolai, her father, in the face.
sola_cola · 5.5M Views

Sweet Revenge Of Pain

The heels of her shoes were hitting the floor, making a rhythmic beat that gave off a bad vibe.   She got to where I was and crouched down to my level. "Huh, poor baby," she said in a cry-like voice as she shook her head in self-pity and patted my head, then whispered    "Shh, don't cry; it will soon be over," she said, still gently patting my head.   She brought out a small, shiny silver knife that I hadn't noticed that she had been holding for a while.   "Clara, please stop whatever you are planning to do." I pleaded in fear and looked at her in horror as I tried to process what she intended to do with the knife.    "My, my, my, someone is scared; don't worry, I won't be too hard on you." She coaxed me and laughed like a maniac when she saw the expression on my face.   "Please, for the sake of our friendship, please stop." I begged for mercy.   "Shut! Shut the fuck up!" She punched me in the face until her hand was colored with my blood.    I was too weak to fight back as she slashed my stomach slowly and deeply, making a pathway for the blood to flow freely like a stream.   "Honey, you don't have to stain your dress. Let the guards do this," Gabriel said as he saw my blood pouring out of my stomach's hundred-meter radius.   She dipped her hand forcefully into my stomach and brought out my under-formed fetus, then used the knife to cut the placenta that connected me and my baby.    She stabbed it repeatedly without mercy while I looked on in pain and helplessness as my baby died tragically before me.    "Raven! Bring the rest now!" She ordered in her authoritative tone that she normally uses whenever she wants something done with an immediate effect.   
Ada_Miniscent · 7.2K Views

CROWN PRINCE'S CONCUBINE

This is a Classic Love story, cute and sweet like an overripe apple with a little bit of sour ^^ This is the Male's lead! its DanMei or BoysLove or BL. A cute love story between a Powerful, Fierce, Magnificent Crown Prince to a very weak Hua Bai Ying, a young, sweet, sixteen Hua BaiYing, a young man who almost can't do anything, even always gets in trouble and hurts himself, While the Crown Prince is known to be so powerful, strongest more than the force of the River, the mountain, or even the sky, his hobby is cutting enemy's heads and slashing and killing without mercy, but his life turned to soft and has to surrender to beautiful, gentle, delicate, HuaBaiYing, he's a big pervert, who likes to touch BaiYing here and there as he only belongs to him, only his! Who dares to touch him, you want to die?! Vol 1: is more about HuaBaiYing and his daily life at the Palace under his sister's name. It's full of sweetness, internal conflicts, tricks, unexpected truth, and identity issues. It's cute and funny, with some tension and betrayal among the other concubines. ......... I think this is a Romance cute-comedy but full of surprises, just check it out!^^ I'm sorry I might have some typos or miss translating, please give me some time to recheck it. ************************** Please help review it if you read it, it helps the Author to do much better, thanks ^^ please have good comments to support each other, really appreciate and God bless you ^^
Sweet_SourKiwi · 1.6M Views

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"Speaking of knowing things…" Kyle said slowly, "You still haven't given me a chance to tell my story." "I know," said Andrea. "I was having too much fun speculating. Finding you like this is a gift, and I don't want to tear the wrapping off all at once. ‘Building up the anticipation makes it better.’" Kyle blinked again, then gave a quiet snort of recognition at his own words being thrown back at him. "So what is your speculation?" Kyle asked. "Oh I don't know, probably something utterly disappointing. Did they pick you up for speeding on the way to the farmers market? I guess that wouldn't explain the uh…" she gestured at his injury again. "It wouldn't explain that now, would it. Oh, I know! You got into a fight over the last piece of bluefin!" Kyle just shook his head slightly. "No? I guess it's too much to hope you did something really exciting like rob a bank—You're not secretly a cat burglar are you, Kyle? Lose your balance breaking into an art gallery? No…?" Kyle looked unamused. "Very funny, Chuckles, would you mind taking this a little more seriously?" "Of course," said Andrea. "Very serious for a lawyer to have been arrested. You could be disciplined. Disbarred! Why, we might not see each other in court anymore. Wouldn't that be a shame." "Wouldn't it though," replied Kyle. "So that's the kind of guy you think I am? Stealing fine art and fighting in fish markets?” Andrea pondered some more. "I know!" she exclaimed. "Did you get into a fight with someone's boyfriend? Did it turn out that you were your young lady's bit on the side, and you ended up having a domestic dispute?" Kyle winced. "Is that it?!" Andrea had been teasing, but it seems like she had touched a nerve. To whatever degree Kyle had seemed like he'd been playing along, even as worn down as he was, that last remark had left him deflated. Kyle hung his head. "It wasn't like that…" "Oh sure, like you haven't been collecting notches on your bedposts." "I'M not like that." "You're not? That's not what your reputation says, out there collecting numbers and breaking hearts. I heard that you were a real ladykil–" "Andrea! I'm not–" Kyle shouted, grabbing her hands. His hands were strong, and his grip so tight it almost hurt. His expression so intense, frustrated and hurt and… scared? Andrea knew she had been twisting the knife a little into something that bothered him, but what had caused this reaction? It was only for a moment, then Kyle seemed to catch himself and let go. He slumped back in his chair and slid his shackled hands back below the table. Andrea leaned back as well, adding to the distance, and folded her arms, no longer smiling. She glanced at the duress button out of the corner of her eye. If Kyle had kept holding her as tightly as he had been, she wouldn't have even been able to reach it. "I think we're ready for storytime now," she said seriously. “I think you had better start at the punchline. What have you been charged with, Mr Wynn?" Kyle took a deep breath before he raised his head once more. "Murder, Ms Mason. First Degree Murder." *** Andrea Mason, a defense attorney who cares more about justice and protecting her clients than just winning cases. But the one man she hates to lose to is her rival, the arrogant prosecutor, Kyle Wynn. Kyle represents everything Andi hates about unscrupulous win-at-all-costs lawyers, and for years they have traded arguments in the courtroom and barbs in the hallways. Their paths cross again when they find themselves on a high-profile murder trial. As much as Andrea might despise Kyle, she can’t believe it when HE is charged with the horrific murder. But she is even more shocked when he asks for her to represent him at trial… *** #SLOWBURN #STRONGFL #CRIME #MURDER #FLIRTY #ROMANCE If you want to know what to expect, check the reviews! ฅ^-ﻌ•^ฅ Burrito says to join here: https://discord.gg/qr7eUnxT2F
slowestcook · 671.2K Views

The Devil's Good Girl

A cheating boyfriend and a traitorous best friend had always been a cliché start to a story. Fil often thought those things only happened in such narratives. Who would have thought this same cliché twist would happen to her? Fil was a devout Christian who held marriage and marital fidelity sacred. She had been a very good girl from childhood to adulthood. But when she caught her childhood sweetheart slash fiancé and her best friend rolling under the sheets, Fil wanted to rebel for the first time. The first step of her rebellious journey? Getting drunk. After drowning her sorrows with the help of alcohol, Fil met the enigmatic Jackson. The moment her eyes met those tantalizing golden orbs, words slipped past her lips without any notion of the kind of situation she was getting herself into: “Will I go to hell if I lose my virginity before marriage?” His thin, red lips curled up as a glint flickered across his naturally sharp eyes, and he said, “Who knows? But I can bring heaven to you if you want me to.” ***** Jackson. A man shrouded in mystery and secrets, licentious to the core with zero morality, someone who had grown bored playing games with life. Until one fateful night, a woman suddenly appeared before him — a perfect prey for a boring night. Little did he know, a night with a rebellious wannabee wouldn’t be enough to quench his biological urge. Nor would he ever fathom the colors she gave to his gray-colored world. A good girl with dirty thoughts and a sinful man who had even dirtier thoughts. A relationship that started for revenge and to satisfy one’s need; was there even space for true love? How? When the man bending her down would nastily whisper in her ear, “You've been a fucking good girl.” **** As the two grapple with their own demons threatening to tear them apart, doubts would start surfacing in their hearts. Was this rebellion worth sacrificing her principles for? Could she truly find happiness in the arms of a man so steeped in darkness? And for Jackson, was redemption possible for a devil like him? And if so, would she be the one to lead him towards the light? Would she even accept his darkest secrets and the hell of his world? In a world where trust was a rare commodity and love was a fragile flame, Fil and Jackson would have to navigate the treacherous waters of desire and redemption. Would they face the unknown together? Or would they let go to save themselves from the impending pain of being together? **** JOIN MY DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/gXCMQwmrGY Spanish translation of this book is also available on Webnovel . LINK: https://www.webnovel.com/book/la-buena-chica-del-diablo_29711041200202605 Portuguese translation: https://www.webnovel.com/book/a-garota-boa-do-diabo_29711057200204305
BAJJ · 1.1M Views

The Unexpected Alpha Mate

My name is Betty. My boyfriend, Simon, is going to be an Alpha—we are very much in love although we are not Fated Mates. However, events took a twisted turn at the night party before Simon's Alpha ceremony. I had been showing off my boyfriend to my best friend Yurika and goading her into getting herself a boyfriend to experience kissing, only for my boyfriend to gather his actual Fated Mate into his arms without hesitation! After, they only had eyes for each other, reducing me to a joke. Running away from the party, I had Emily, my wolf, take me away to my grandmother's home, whose love warmed me. I made an acquaintance with Vincent, the werewolf whom my grandmother recently rescued. He taught me how to protect myself, but just as I was reveling in the delight of gaining power, a phone call telling me that my father had gone missing brought me to my senses. I could hardly believe that the nightmare was our nightmare even as my brother Andy told me about it, but it has definitely been a while since my father contacted me. "Mom needs you, Betty. Come back." However, going back was too cruel for me because it meant watching as my ex-boyfriend publicly displayed his affection for his new girlfriend. Still, I was worried about my father too, so I told my grandmother about it, and she decided to return with me to share the burden. Nonetheless, I returned to find unfamiliar werewolves patrolling the Pack... What was going on? It was only when I reached home that I realized Simon turned out to be a coward, running away and allowing the Pack to be attacked! And my father was missing because of the war Simon had incited! That coward... I'll tear him into pieces if I ever find him! Before I could get my revenge, the Pack's new Alpha began bullying me during training sessions. Did he think he was above me just because he's bigger?! One day, I am going to hand his own butt to him!
JQK · 51.8K Views
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