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Comedic Noir

La femme que j'ai ramassée est trop féroce

Lorsque Feng Qing est née, elle a été vendue à un couple de la montagne à cause de la négligence de l'hôpital. Seize ans plus tard, ses parents biologiques l'ont ramenée à la maison depuis un petit village de montagne, elle pensait que sa vie serait meilleure, mais ce n'était pas le cas. Non seulement elle n'a pas reçu d'amour de la part de ses parents, sa sœur de substitution l'a rendue aveugle. Finalement, ses parents l'ont mariée à un vieil homme dans la cinquantaine. Le jour de son mariage, Feng Qing s'est échappée de l'hôtel poursuivie par une ribambelle de gardes du corps. Dans une situation critique, elle a grimpé dans la voiture noire garée en bord de route. Sur la banquette arrière de la voiture se tenait un homme séduisant où la froideur impitoyable était un élément constant sur son visage. Il avait l'air de quelqu'un avec qui on ne pouvait pas plaisanter. Feng Qing tapota ses petites mains sales. "Alors, monsieur, j'ai remarqué que la solitude se lit sur votre visage. Que diriez-vous d'avoir une épouse qui se présente maintenant à vous ?" Xie Jiuhan était communément appelé le Neuvième Maître. Il était le seigneur de la Capitale et avait une personnalité imprévisible. Il était têtu et impitoyable. Les femmes de la haute société dans la Capitale ont utilisé tous les moyens, mais aucune d'entre elles n'a même approché l'ourlet des vêtements du Maître Neuvième. À partir de ce jour, des rumeurs ont commencé à se répandre dans la Capitale. Le Neuvième Maître, qui se tenait d'ordinaire à l'écart des femmes, élevait une petite épouse dans son manoir et la gâtait à l'extrême. Maître Neuvième : "Ma femme est trop faible pour prendre soin d'elle-même." Le docteur : "Alors, qui est cette dame qui a brisé la rotule de quelqu'un d'un seul coup de pied ?" Maître Neuvième : "Ma femme a vécu dans des villages, elle n'est pas bonne dans ses études." Les étudiants de l'Université Capitale : "Votre femme obtient toujours la première place dans chaque examen. Si elle n'est pas bonne dans ses études, que sommes-nous ? Des débiles ?" Maître Neuvième : "Ma femme est extrêmement timide. Elle n'a pas rencontré beaucoup de grands pontes ou de figures marquantes." Le public : "S'il vous plaît, taisez-vous !" L'autorité de premier plan en médecine, les professeurs de sciences et les réalisateurs internationaux célèbres faisaient la queue devant votre maison, suppliants de la voir ! Oui, votre femme n'avait pas rencontré de grands pontes ou de figures marquantes auparavant parce qu'elle était la figure la plus marquante ici.
Yishen · 76.5K Views

L'animal de compagnie du jeune maître Damien

"Qui t'a touchée ?" demanda-t-il, ses yeux fixant les siens et quand elle ne répondit pas, sa voix tonna dans la pièce, "QUI ?" Le majordome qui se tenait près du mur parla d'une voix tremblante, "Monsieur, c'était Monsieur Reverale," le visage de Damien s'assombrit, sa mâchoire se contractant de colère, il tourna son visage vers le majordome qui était derrière lui. "Amenez l'homme ici." "M-maintenant ?" bégaya le majordome. C'était l'heure de la nuit. Damien, qui n'avait pas rompu son contact visuel avec la fille devant lui, posa sa main contre le mur qui reposait maintenant à côté de la tête de sa belle fille. Tournant son corps, il regarda d'abord son majordome qui avait la tête baissée. Avec beaucoup de courage, le majordome vint croiser le regard de son Maître, "Est-ce que tu as un autre moment pour cela? Ou devrait-on attendre que j'aie envie de t'étrangler?" demanda calmement Damien en inclinant la tête. Pas une seconde plus tard, le majordome sortit de la pièce pour revenir avec Monsieur Reverale après vingt minutes. "Damien, avons-nous une fête du thé tardive ?" Monsieur Reverale vint saluer mais le maître de la maison avait d'autres plans. Apercevant le couteau qui était planté dans la pomme sur la table, il le saisit pour le retirer. Au moment où Monsieur Reverale tendit la main pour lui serrer la main, Damien prit sa main pour la poser sur la table. En un mouvement rapide comme s'il coupait des oignons, il trancha les quatre doigts de l'homme de sa main, le faisant crier et pleurer de douleur. "Personne ne touche ce qui est à moi. Je suis sûr que cela te rappellera la prochaine fois que tu penseras même à la toucher," soupira Damien comme s'il en avait marre de dire aux gens de garder leurs mains sales loin de ses affaires. Rencontrez Damien Quinn, un vampire de pur sang qui est un narcissique complet, brut avec ses mots et avare même s'il est riche qui a marchandé quand il a acheté un esclave sur le marché noir. D'un autre côté, rencontrez Pénélope qui croit qu'elle est une 'invitée' pour quelques jours chez les Quinn car elle a l'intention de s'échapper de l'étrange vampire qui a besoin d'une thérapie. ~ Discord: https://discord.gg/K63uVqN
ash_knight17 · 63.1K Views

The Reborn Emperor.

Meet Li Wei, a history loving grad student with the worst luck in the modern job market. He's dreamed his whole life about changing society maybe even becoming a wise leader in some ancient dynasty. His favorite era? Ancient China, of course, with its brave heroes, clever warlords, and fascinating politics. Only problem? There’s no job for “aspiring historical visionary” in the classifieds. But one day, fate steps in. After a (heroic, if he does say so himself) rescue of a little girl from an oncoming car, Li Wei opens his eyes… to find himself staring up at the ceiling of a palace. Turns out he’s been reincarnated as an 18 year old emperor in a world that looks suspiciously like ancient China, but with a twist. And guess what? The kingdom’s in shambles. There’s corruption everywhere, taxes are sky high, commoners are struggling to survive, and his court treats him like an adorable but useless figurehead. Most people would freak out, but not Li Wei. This is his chance. Armed with his love for history, a little bit of modern knowledge, and a healthy dose of sarcasm, Li Wei is determined to make some big changes. He’s going to pull his kingdom out of the mud, whether his scheming advisors and grumpy generals like it or not. Along the way, he’ll build an army, make new friends (and enemies), and maybe just maybe become the kind of ruler everyone fears but secretly loves. Get ready for a comedic adventure full of witty one liners, dramatic reforms, and plenty of awkward encounters as Li Wei attempts to turn his impossible dream into a hilarious reality. This emperor’s got his work cut out for him, but he’s not backing down. After all, it’s not every day you get a second chance to rule a kingdom, right?
King_3317 · 3.7K Views

Guide To Reign My Tycoon Husbands

Luo Huian was the most beautiful, strong and narcissistic——- Cut! Cut! Cut! Take two, and do it over. Luo Huian was the most beautiful, strong and wisest immortal in the realm of peace and harmony. Her two fathers doted on her, and she had a generous supply of resources and pills. Her life was perfect. However, her perfect life came to an abrupt end when Luo Huian, an immortal whose responsibility was to bring peace to those who had reached their ends and had run out of faith—— Watched a man jump down a building. Because of her inflexible beliefs and sense of justice, she did not save the bully. Unfortunately, that man was the son of the heavens. The loss of his life brought infinite trouble in Luo Huian’s life and she was punished by the heavens. She was sent to the world of humans where she had to rescue at least five hundred people by saving their lives when they were at the end of their wits. For an immortal this was an easy job, right? Wrong. Her grandmother sent Luo Huian to a world where Gloom Rocks had wrecked chaos. Beasts and monsters were given birth to by the Gloom Rocks that sucked every ounce of happiness from humans. This world was dominated by hunters who could kill the beasts with the powers that they had awakened. And in this cutthroat world, Luo Huian got the short end of the stick. She woke up in the body of an F-class hunter! Dang it. If that wasn’t worse enough, the previous owner had confessed to her cousin-in-law and was kicked out of the family. Double frog in the hot crock. With not a single penny in her pocket Luo Huian goes out to complete her mission. But what would happen when Luo Huian who was an F-class hunter annihilated the Z-class Glooms and Hollows that even the S-class hunters could not? Watch her fend against the dangers and at the same time save the lives of people. But in this small mission, there is a small obstruction —— The three alluring temptations. *********** Resisting the temptation take 1: “MMPH,” Luo Huian pushed against the mer who had pushed her down on the bed while sitting on her waist. “Get off.” “I can’t,” answered Qi Yongrui as he took off his shirt. “Daddy Shun said that he is envious of Uncle Wang. He also wants to hold a grandchild. So, wife let's work hard tonight alright?” Luo Huian: Dear Heavens save me, I am a woman of no desire! **** Resisting the temptation take 2: “Do you think he is good looking?” Fan Meilin questioned the woman who stood next to him. Even though he was the one who won the race and the trophy, his wife was looking at the other mer. “Well yes,” Luo Huian, who was an appreciator of beauty, agreed at once. “Why are you asking this though?” Fan Meilin’s eyes flashed as he smiled at her and leaned in closer to her body as he whispered in her ear, “He might be good looking but I am a better driver. Not only on the track but also in bed, do you want to try darling?” Luo Huian: Resist the temptation! At all costs! I am an iron-hearted woman. ***** Resisting the temptation take 3: “Is this necessary?” Luo Huian questioned as she sat on the couch, watching the mer trace his fingers on her curves while she sat in nothing but modern swimwear. The mer nodded as he wrote on his small notepad, “I need to trace every inch of your skin to create my finest creation, so don’t move.” After he finished writing, he handed the notepad to Luo Huian, his fingers brushing against the curve of her bosom, waist and ——— Luo Huian: My virtue is at extreme risk! ** Fl who is trying to do everything to save her virtue from being taken as it would slow down her cultivation X Mls who are trying their best to snatch it from her. *********** Trigger warning: though the book is set in a comedic setting, there might be some uneasy topics that would discuss depression and loneliness. ***********
fairytail72 · 1M Views

Infinite Evolution System Made Me Too OP!

[June 2024 WPC: Gold Place Winner] ---- [Ding! You have killed Elder Fuk Yu!] [You have obtained 108 Quadrillion Evolution Essence!] [Ding! Would you like to Assimilate the Stats or roll for a Racial Trait of Elder Fuk Yu?] "Roll for a Racial Trait." [Ding! You have acquired the Infinite Fuk Yu Mantra!] ... This is the story of Azmodeus—the only Trial Disciple of the Yang Sect—a boy who was born with everything and absolutely anything that could possibly impede his journey down the limitless road of cultivation. Weakest cultivation talent, weakest spiritual roots, weakest physique... However, it looked reality decided he hadn't suffered enough... On one day no different than the rest for the fourteen-year-old boy, as he was sweeping the courtyard's of the Yang Sect, misfortune struck once again, resulting in a Young Master killing him while in a drunken state... This was where his story ended, and also, where it began anew, and along with it, a system that guaranteed a new story for the boy—a story that would never end! [Ding! You have killed a Supreme Elder of the Godless Sect!] [You have obtained 500 Trillion Evolution Essence!] [Ding! You have leveled up!] [You have leveled up!] [You have leveled up!] [Ding! Would you like to Assimilate the Stats or roll for a Trait of the being you just killed?] "Roll for a Trait." [Ding! You have acquired the Galactic Quantum Flux Racial Trait!] [Your overall combat power has improved by leaps and bounds!] [Ding! Are you ready to pay the price to ascend your plane of existence?] "I am." ... Join Azmodeus on his journey toward a limit that doesn't exist, as he figures out just how far he can Evolve through the killing and Assimilating of other existences! "You say I can sit in a cave and cultivate while having my clones do the killing...?" "There are other System Users!? And I can Assimilate their Systems into my own!?" "This will make too OP..." ... Extremely Fast-Paced System Novel with a bunch of realms and new worlds/areas!! Don't tell me I didn't warn you beforehand!! There will also be comedic and slice of life aspects, even dark at times, so be aware of that before going in... He will become progressively more and more evil, so beware... MC is a Murderhobo and certified Loot Goblin, so keep that in mind as well. This novel is benefit-driven, and things happen for the sole reason of obtaining benefits! No NTR, No Yuri, No Incest, No weak MC's, lot's of grinding those levels!! 500 PS = 1 Extra Chapter 100 GT = 1 Extra Chapter Discord: https://discord.com/invite/FMHsSN3fN8 Patreon: patreon.com/Astral_Pandemonium
Astral_Pandemonium · 1.9M Views

I’d Rather Not Be the Hero (But I Guess I Don’t Have a Choice?)

Kazuki Takahashi was living a monotonous, stressful life in modern Japan, filled with nothing but endless work and sleepless nights. That was, until he unexpectedly dies from overwork and wakes up in a strange new world—one filled with magic, mythical creatures, and deadly battles. Reincarnated as a "hero," Kazuki discovers he’s been tasked with saving the world from a Demon King and his seven powerful generals. However, there’s a twist—unlike the other heroes summoned, Kazuki has no magic. Instead, he possesses extraordinary physical abilities that make him overpowered, even without casting a single spell. But there’s one problem: Kazuki doesn’t care about being a hero. All he wants is to live a peaceful life, free from the stresses that plagued him in his past world. Alongside his eccentric companions—like the fierce sword-woman Serena, the witty mage Leo, and others yet to be met—Kazuki embarks on a journey across a world of guilds, rankings, and deadly monsters. As he tries to avoid conflict, Kazuki faces challenges from demons, monsters, and even fellow heroes from other worlds, all while wrestling with his role in this dangerous adventure. With comedic encounters, moments of heartfelt connection, and a brewing storm between the forces of good and evil, Kazuki’s new life is anything but quiet. Will Kazuki accept his fate as the savior of this world, or will he continue to avoid his destiny for as long as possible? A blend of fantasy, action, and comedy, *The Lazy Hero’s Escape Plan* is the ultimate story of an overpowered hero who just wants to enjoy his second chance at life.
Ace_speedster · 14.6K Views

Crimson Veil

Elara has spent her entire life as a hunter, sworn to rid the world of vampires and protect humanity. But when a mission goes wrong and she’s bitten by a powerful vampire lord, her world is turned upside down. Instead of dying, she awakens an ancient power deep within her—a long-lost bloodline tied to the Purebloods, a vampiric clan believed to be extinct. Now, Elara is more than just a hunter; she is both the weapon and the curse. Torn between her hunter upbringing and her new vampiric nature, she must hide her transformation from her family while navigating the deadly politics of vampire society. As Elara delves into the mysteries of her bloodline, she encounters Lucien—an enigmatic vampire elder with a dangerous allure. In a moment of heated passion, Lucien’s hands gripped her hips, pulling her close. His fangs grazed her neck, sending a shock of pleasure through her body. Elara gasped, her body arching as his lips claimed hers in a breathless kiss. His mouth trailed lower, teeth scraping her exposed skin, and a sharp bite sent her spiraling into ecstasy. The pleasure and pain blurred as she surrendered to the darkness, her world consumed by raw, primal desire. She was his—completely. But the deeper she falls into Lucien’s seductive grasp, the more she risks everything—her family, her humanity, and her soul. With a prophecy looming that could either save or doom the vampire race, Elara must decide: Will she fight against the growing darkness within her, or embrace her destiny as the last Pureblood and claim the throne of the vampire world?
Evelyn_Noir · 586 Views

Love Fakes and Live Takes: The Livestream Love Hoax

Aurora Harper is a lively and charismatic livestreamer, known for her comedic antics and infectious energy. But when her subscriber count starts to plateau and viewer engagement dwindles, she finds herself desperate for a new idea to reignite her fame. Enter Sebastian Cole: her stoic, absurdly handsome neighbor and long-time friend. Sebastian is everything Aurora isn’t—calm, composed, and perfectly deadpan—which makes him the ultimate co-star for her latest, wildest plan: a fake romance livestream series. Convinced that their contrasting personalities will create irresistible on-screen chemistry, Aurora ropes Sebastian into pretending they’re an adorable, cohabiting couple. Together, they tackle everything from kitchen disasters to hilariously awkward “romantic” moments, all while trying to convince their fans—and maybe even themselves—that their fake love is purely for the cameras. But as their streams go viral and the lines between performance and real feelings blur, Sebastian starts to question if this charade is just fun and games—or something more. Meanwhile, Aurora battles with her own heart, wondering if the best things in life can come from the most unexpected, laugh-out-loud moments. Will their fake love bring real sparks, or will it all come crashing down in front of thousands of adoring fans? Fake Romance, Real Livestream is a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about the hilarity, chaos, and unexpected romance that can happen when love goes live.
Vincy_Chan_6151 · 358 Views

Clock Seal

in a world where everything flows in a river, Noir Neo stands at the top. a calm, rebellious Mortal Made God. a boy who ate from the forbidden tree, inside the Garden Of Eden. he was banished, locked out of heaven. but he came back, hungry for finding a worthy opponent, but first he had to gain strength. so he decided to become the strongest Mortal Being of a god, to become a Man-Made God. so he started his journey, eating from The Garden Of Immortality. a garden filled with vegetables, fruits, water and other things that grant pure immortality. and he ate the whole garden, he was banished from the human world; into the depths of hell. where he met his mentor, a beautiful woman. a Nine-Tailed Fox, this Woman trained him to her absolute best, even giving him her blood. making Noir even more immortal, eventually Noir grew 2 fox ears and 19 tails. he crawled out of the depths of hell, emerging from reality. into the land of in-between, Limbo, a land that reaps souls. But Noir earned a mark of the dead on his forehead, meaning he's dead. He can't die; he's achieved another level of immortality. How peculiar-but he still wanted more, so he climbed to heaven; using only wood. Until he finally reached the clouds of heaven, once he broke in he met with Hephaestus; asking for a weapon. Hephaestus agreed, creating Noir's weapon. The horrifying but beautiful "Měilì zhī lián". A scythe made from the souls of the damned; Aura of Limbo, and the wood of The World Tree. surprisingly The World Tree exists beyond normal concepts.  But as Noir's weapon finished, he was ambushed by multiple gods-because of his Divine Rule breaking, he was sealed into the 30th Dimensional Square Plane. A clock that can't be affected by anything. Inside or out. Even Buddha can't destroy it, they even impaled his stomach with his own weapon to ensure his seal. So Noir decided to meditate, the river of everything emerged in his mind. That's it... he achieved what he wanted. TRUE POWER. He escaped the 30th Dimensional plane, fighting every god in his path. Defeating every one, he is UNBEATABLE. He even beat the Buddha.
yaboinethertank · 2.4K Views

Hearts Rewritten

Synopsis: "Hearts Rewritten" In a tale woven with love, heartbreak, and the complexity of human relationships, Deen, a vibrant and optimistic artist, finds his world shaken when his relationship with Thai, a talented but guarded musician, begins to unravel. Fearful of vulnerability, Thai pushes Deen away, leading to heartbreak and confusion. Their mutual friend Lila, eager to help, concocts a plan to rekindle their bond, resulting in a series of comedic and heartfelt moments that test the limits of friendship and love. Thai and Deen’s journey begins in a familiar world filled with laughter and friendship. Their romance, once vibrant, faces trials as misunderstandings and insecurities threaten to tear them apart. Just as they find their way back to each other, a tragic car accident catapults them into a mysterious realm where their memories of one another have vanished. In this new world, Thai embarks on a desperate quest to find Deen, guided by an unshakeable feeling of love. Meanwhile, Deen navigates his own path, haunted by fragments of a bond he cannot remember. As they confront formidable challenges and forge new alliances, the echoes of their past reverberate through their hearts. Through trials of loyalty, betrayal, and self-discovery, Thai and Deen must not only reclaim their memories but also redefine their love. Will they navigate the threads of fate to reunite, or will the forces of this unfamiliar world keep them apart forever? Join them on a captivating journey of resilience and romance, where the power of love can rewrite their destinies.
delphine_siri · 10.2K Views

Headed by a Snake

I woke up in this world with a System and a sword. Without hesitation, I chose to complete the princess’ quest with my weapons: Arrogance. Cunning. Pride. I will lead guild Sol Invictus. Denizens of the 7 hells, respect me. Servants of the 11 heavens, know fear. Guild Invictus, know the suffering of training so you can wrest victory from the jaws of those who dare doubt you. This is a story about a snake named Tycondrius waking up in a fantasy world of swords and sorcery. There is action, violence, unapologetic murder, and arrogant displays of power. There is an emphasis on combat growth as well as psychological growth on more than a few members of Guild Invictus. There is camaraderie and also the inevitable comedic dialogue amongst manly men. There are even elements of romance and Tycon running away from terrifying, powerful women. (Did you know most female snakes eat their partners after mating?) Give this book a read. I hope some of these stories can inspire you to fight your battles with analytical intelligence, heroic courage, and ruthless lethality. Work is completed as of 9May2024. There's also a few side-stories written in Chapter 1151! The Author is working on a new story called 'I Wish You Were Never Reborn.' After four or so years of writing, my skills have much improved. Highly recommend. Here is my discord: https://discord.gg/NNbAj7N Constructive criticism and corrections welcome. Other Authors extra-welcome. You can find a list of characters at https://snek.fandom.com/wiki/Character_List Cover image credit: Johnabrash at Fiverr
CouchSurfingDragon · 2.7M Views
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